


Bright Lights, Small Town

by Lecrit



Series: To Build a Home [1]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec is a Little Shit, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Angst, But he has no chill, Dogs, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fashion Blogger Magnus, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Halloween, Happy Birthday Suhasini, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magnus is a little shit, Magnus needs a hug, Raphael is a Good Friend, Robert Can Burn, Shameless Innuendos, Simon is adorable, Small Towns, Smut, Thanksgiving, True love right there, Veterinarian Alec, dad luke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-08-22 06:03:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 104,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8275387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lecrit/pseuds/Lecrit
Summary: When Magnus gets to Nashville, Indiana to handle his late mother's will, he doesn't expect to be forced to stay there for six months. Six months away from New York and lost in the wildness of the countryside.It quickly appears that he is going to go through six months of living hell.The fact that he hates the local veterinarian on sight isn't helping.





	1. Sweet Home Indiana

**Author's Note:**

> Hello cupcakes,
> 
> First and foremost: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUHASINI. I love you hoe, and I hope you like your present. You deserve all the nice things in the world and I hope this lil thing of mine will be one of them ❤.
> 
> As always, this got out of hands so it turned into a full-grown fic because I have no damn chill.  
> Part two is almost done and is just as long as part one so get ready for the feels, cupcakes.  
> I'll try to post once a week for a month; this will have four parts :).
> 
> Many, many thanks to [Acerina](http://everydayfandom.tumblr.com/) and [Sam](http://otppurefuckingmagic.tumblr.com/) for the help with the evil plotting. I love you both. ❤  
> Thank you to my darling hoe [Pravs](https://twitter.com/magnusbake) for beta'ing. I love you.  
> I hope you like it!
> 
> PS: As always, if you're live-tweeting, don't forget to use the #lecrit hashtag or to tag [me](https://twitter.com/_L_ecrit).  
> PS2: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN SU, I LOVE YOUR ASS. ❤ ❤ ❤
> 
> Italian readers can find a translated version [here](http://www.efpfanfic.net/viewstory.php?sid=3661210&i=1).

**“Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change.”**

**―** **Mary Shelley**

/

“Welcome to Indianapolis, Sir. Enjoy your stay!”

Magnus looked to the side at the  steward , who was flashing him a toothy grin, all perfectly aligned white teeth, and grumbled a thank you, before following the corridors to the carousels to retrieve his luggage. He plucked his phone out of his pocket and switched off the plane mode as he waited. It immediately started buzzing in his hand.

There was an email from one of his clients telling him to take his time to send in his next article but he ignored it, opening Catarina’s instead, who was just wishing him a safe journey and telling him to let her know when he had landed. He shot a quick text to reassure her, and one to Raphael although he hadn’t asked, because he knew he would never hear the end of it if he texted Catarina and not Raphael.

He perked up at the sight of his flashy yellow luggage and grabbed the bag, tugging it on his shoulders as he walked to the waiting room to get his babies back. He didn’t have to wait long because soon enough, a flight attendant came rushing through the door with two travel carriers, looking flushed and slightly out of breath.

Magnus grinned when he  bent down to look into the carrier and his pup husky, Jimmy Chew, barked happily upon seeing him, his tail tapping excitingly against the walls. Bark Jacobs, his miniature american shepherd, glanced up at him and sat down in the carrier, giving him an expectant look.

“Hello my babies,” Magnus cooed. “Did you behave?” Both dogs barked in confirmation, and his grin widened. He glanced up at the flight attendant. “Thank you for everything,” he said as they started walking towards the exit, Magnus grabbing one of the travel carriers.

He spotted Luke as soon as the doors automatically opened to let him through. He was a good head taller than most of the people waiting there, hovering above the crowd with a warm, luminous smile on his lips that only broadened when he recognized Magnus. He waved at him and Magnus threw him a small, hesitant smile. He took a deep breath and closed the space between them, dropping his bag on the floor to outstretch his hand.

Luke huffed out in indignation and stepped closer, tugging him into a bone-crushing hug punctuated by a vigorous slap on his back.

“Magnus!” he exclaimed when he pulled back, holding him at arm-length. “It’s good to see you, kid. How was your flight?”

“Like a long nap until I was woken up by a kid crying his eyes out,” Magnus replied with a shrug.

Luke chuckled and slammed a hand on his shoulder again. “Come on, I’m sure you want to get home and get some rest before tomorrow.”

Magnus nodded and kneeled down to open both the dogs’ carriers. He barely had the time to unlock the doors that he was attacked by two very enthusiastic animals and he promptly landed on his butt, laughing heartily at his dogs’ antics, who then went to jump on Luke’s legs, demanding to be pet. Luke laughed and obliged goodheartedly while Magnus rummaged in his bag for their leashes.

Once both leashes were safely fastened to the collars, Magnus and Luke headed towards the parking with his luggages and soon enough, they were on the road, the dogs sitting in the backseat. Bark Jacobs was the only one big enough to look by the window and observe the passing landscapes, but Jimmy Chew made the wise choice and decided to sit in the middle seat to be able to observe his surroundings on both sides despite his height, his bright blue eyes shining with curiosity.

“So, how’s the Big Apple?” Luke asked once they were out of the dense traffic of the city and engaged in more sinuous roads, lines and lines of immense trees drawing the path for them.

The heat of the early days of summer made the air in the car a bit suffocating and Magnus opened the window, leaning his head a bit to the side to make the most of the fresh evening breeze it brought in the car.

“New York is fine, I guess,” he replied airily. “Same old, same old.”

Magnus was not one to get bored easily, which was probably why he fitted so perfectly in New York. In a city that never slept, it helped that he was a night owl. New York was just as alive at night as it was during the day and Magnus loved how it became a different city, exciting in its decadence, thrilling in its unexpectedness.

But ever since his mother had passed away a month ago, New York had somehow lost some of its charm, and he hadn’t been able to find much enthusiasm in the things he had yet always thrived on.

He knew it was just a rough period, that he would start feeling like himself again after a while, and that New York would be just as wonderful as it had always been. No matter how odd and out of place he felt there lately, New York was still his home.

He had only been to Indiana three times in the fifteen years his mother had lived there and when he had, he had never stayed for long in her house.

They had gone on a road strip the first time. She had wanted him to “reconnect with the nature” because living in New York didn’t offer the breathtaking opportunity to admire nature in its wildest state. Magnus had been nineteen at the time and as much as he had liked the trip, it had been more because he had done it with his mother rather than for the place itself. That was when he had met Luke, his mother’s new best friend who had helped her feel welcome when she had decided on an impulse - she had had many of those - to move away to Nashville, Indiana when Magnus had been seventeen.

The second time, he had only been over for a weekend, for his mother’s birthday five years ago. He had stayed at her house this time. He had been meant to stay longer but they had had a fight and he had flown back to New York four days before the scheduled date.

The third time had been a month ago for her funeral.

Magnus remembered vividly Luke calling him in the middle of the night. He had been out at the time, pleasantly drunk and halfway to getting laid, but Luke’s name flashing on his screen had alarmed him for a reason he still couldn’t quite comprehend today, and he had answered the call anyway.

Luke had been soft and gentle, like he always was, when he announced Magnus his mother had passed away from cancer. Magnus hadn’t even known she was ill.

“She didn’t want you to worry about her,” Luke had told him at the funeral.

Magnus had scoffed in indignation, although it had been layered with pain and a sense of betrayal he couldn’t hide from himself even though he had ushered it back to a corner of his mind. He certainly wasn’t worried now, since he had no one left to be worried about.

The cemetery had been packed and Magnus had wondered if the entire population of the town - all of its eight  hundred inhabitants - had attended but that had sounded ridiculous and he had drawn the conclusion that his mother had had more fans  than he knew about.

It had been a warm day, the early June days bringing out an unpleasant humid heat. After the cremation, Magnus had left the urn in her house until he decided on a time and a place to disperse the ashes, and until he could get around to study her will to see if she had any guidance on the matter.

It was the fourth time he came to Nashville now and this time, he was going to stay there for two weeks, alone. When Luke, who had also conveniently been his mother’s lawyer, had called him to talk to him about the will, Magnus had told him to take care of it himself, but Luke had been adamant about Magnus’ presence being necessary and thus there he was, ready to spend the next two weeks of his life in a town he had always found dull and impossibly alienated from the buzzing life in New York Magnus had always known.

The trip from Indianapolis to Nashville was only an hour long, but Magnus had taken a late flight and as they drove through the town, pretty much all the lights were off, apart  from a couple of restaurants that were still open. By the time Luke pulled over in front of his mother’s house, the night was already quite advanced and Magnus was grateful for the single lamp post standing near the pond that bordered his mother’s imposing Gothic house. It was certainly the only reason why he managed to find his way to the porch, Jimmy Chew and Bark Jacobs trotting blithely after him.

Luke opened the front door swiftly and the dogs immediately disappeared inside, sniffing the place, discovering every corner and potential playground.

Luke turned towards him on the porch, handing him out the set of keys.

“There you go,” he said with an amiable smile. “Get some rest and I’ll see you in the morning. Nine at my office downtown?”

Magnus nodded - even though that seemed dramatically early - before he realized he had no idea where that was and how to get there.

“How am I supposed to get there?” he asked, fidgeting with the keys in his hands, not sure what to do with himself.

“Annie’s car is in the garage,” Luke said. “She hadn’t used it in a while but I tried it two days ago and it worked fine. As for the way to get there, just ask Simon in the morning, he’ll be happy to show you.”

Magnus had no idea who that Simon person was, but he guessed he would figure that out in the morning.

“Jocelyn and Clary did some grocery shopping for you,” Luke continued, oblivious to Magnus’ interrogations. “You should be fine to eat for the first few days.” He paused and seemed to ponder on his own words for a moment. “Actually, knowing Jocelyn, you’re probably fine for the whole week.”

“Tell her I said thank you,” Magnus replied with a fond smile.

Jocelyn, Luke’s childhood sweetheart and wife, was an artist like his own mother. That was actually how they had all met. Jocelyn and his mother had bonded over their art, which were diametrically opposed yet oddly complementary. Where Jocelyn’s style was more realistic, Annie’s had been abstract, a mess of colors and brushes which had always made sense to her but not much to Magnus.

Still, she had been successful. She had been a recognized, respected artist in New York before she had unpredictably decided to move to Nashville, Indiana, which was and had admittedly always been an artist’s haven, but didn’t really offer the same opportunities as New York did.

Today still, Magnus didn’t quite understand why she had decided to come and live here.

At first, she had just meant to be visiting Jocelyn, whom she had met at an exhibition in New York and had become fast friends with, but she had ended up staying for a month instead of two weeks and when she had come back home, she had promptly announced to Magnus that they were moving there.

Magnus had refused. The resulting argument had been long and tenacious, but finally, Magnus had managed to bring her to her senses when he had been offered an internship program at Vogue Magazine in New York because they had found his blog. She had eventually accepted to let him stay where he felt he belonged and as she had moved to Indiana, he had moved to live with her old, eccentric but incredibly kind friend, Ragnor Fell who was a conductor and spent most of his time travelling for concerts anyway.

He wondered if the next two weeks would maybe give him a better perspective on what had been through his mother’s head when she had decided to move here, but he doubted he would be able to truly comprehend her motives.

His mother had always been a mystery even to her own son. He doubted she would be less of an enigma now that she was dead.

“Good night, Magnus,” Luke’s voice brought him back to reality and Magnus blinked twice, focusing his attention back on the man. He was smiling again, with this gentle smile of his that always made Magnus feel important.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t very talkative tonight,” Magnus sighed, running a hand in his hair. “It’s just… coming here, it’s weird to me. It was her home, but it’s never been and will never be mine.”

Luke’s grin dimmed a little and his dark skin seemed somehow darker for a moment.

“Never say never,” he said enigmatically, and trotted back to his car.

Magnus watched the car drive away, his brow knitted together, but eventually whirled around, only to be met by two expectant  pairs of eyes.

“Yeah, yeah,” he told his dogs, closing the front door with his heel. “I’m hungry too, boys.”

Bark Jacobs whined in answer and he chuckled as he found his way to the kitchen, the dogs scampering after him.

Once he had given them some food and water, he went to wander in the house. Everything smelled like sandalwood and even though this house had never been his, had never been a home to him, he still felt oddly nostalgic. The scent had been a constant in his life. It had been his mother’s favorite and it somehow followed everywhere she went.

That her home emated of sandalwood wasn’t truly a surprise, but it still made something painful tug in Magnus’ chest.

When Annie had bought the house all those years ago, she had made a few changes inside but had kept the outside intact. It was a historical Gothic house, with a porch both on the front side and on the back side that led to the pond. The white columns that marked the limits of the porch contrasted pleasantly with the dark green walls and the narrow but long upstairs windows.

Inside, it was frankly a mess.

His mother had been a quirky, unconventional person and she had never been one to clean or tidy much. Her living room had basically been transformed  into a workshop, and there were canvas piled up against the wall under a white sheet that was stained with paint too.

On the other side of the room sat an imposing piano and Magnus smiled fondly at the sight. She had been a good pianist, but she had rarely played. When she did, it was firstly for herself and then, if she was feeling particularly lenient, for others. She had played a lot for Magnus, had taught him a thing or two when he was still a child but he had been too energetic and too thirsty for adventures to stay put for an entire lesson.

Next to the piano, there was a large wooden globe that also served as drinks cabinet and Magnus let his fingers wander on the wood before he opened it. There were still a few bottles there and he grabbed one a bit hazardously. It was a scotch and it smelled heavenly when he opened it to pour himself a drink. He set the bottle back in the globe and headed to the back porch.

Fairy lights were twirling around the white columns on this side of the house and he switched them on, the ghost of a smile brushing his lips at the scenery. The moon was reflecting in the pond, the quiet water crawling peacefully to the shore but never reaching higher and with the night enveloping it, the pond looked like a dark, empty void.

The air was still warm, but there was a light breeze that made it breathable and that, Magnus did.

He took a deep breath and grabbed one of the chairs from the dining table there to settle on the back porch. He stretched on the chair to rest his feet on the white-painted railing and closed his eyes, sipping his scotch quietly, letting the sounds of the insects lull him into the illusion of calm.

He already missed the clamor of New York.

.

Magnus woke up with a start. The sun was peering through the curtains of the living room and he brought an arm up to rest over his eyes. He had fallen asleep on the couch where he had eventually drifted after finishing a second glass of scotch late in the night. He had started tidying the coffee table, which was about to collapse under the weight of the mess that his mother had accumulated but he had eventually fallen asleep, curled up on the couch.

He growled and rubbed at his eyes, urging the fatigue away.

He grabbed his phone on the table in front of him and grunted again when he saw the time. It was seven in the morning and there was no way Magnus was getting up before eight if he had to meet Luke at nine. He needed his beauty sleep.

With that thought in mind, he shut his eyes again, only to realize he hadn’t woken up by himself, but because someone was knocking adamantly on his front door.

He groaned again and pushed on his elbows, blinking his eyes open, before getting up. He dragged himself to the front door, mumbling about indecent visit hours under his breath.

When he opened the door, Bark Jacobs flew out of the door and went to sniff the stranger who was glancing back at Magnus with a wide, cheerful grin.

At seven in the morning.

As if that was perfectly fine.

“Who are you?” Magnus snapped, but the stranger’s smile didn’t flatter.

“Hi! I’m Simon,” he exclaimed, far too brightly. “You’re Annie’s son, right? You’re gonna live here for a while?”

“I’m just staying for two weeks,” Magnus grumbled inaudibly before adding louder, “It was nice to meet you, Simon. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to sleep.”

“No, no, wait,” Simon put his hand on the door before Magnus could shut it to his face and shook a paper bag in front of his eyes. “I’ve got breakfast for you.”

Magnus raised a dubious eyebrow and threw him a glare, but didn’t reply.

“I work at the local bakery. It’s my mom’s bakery, actually,” Simon explained and Magnus didn’t recall asking for any detail but he listened anyway, more by obligation than sheer interest. “And Annie used to have me deliver fresh pastries to her in the morning and she’s paid for a lot of it in advance and well… now that’s she’s gone, I guess the pastries go to you.”

Simon blinked at him from behind his glasses, the deep brown of his eyes full of hope and amiability.

Magnus heaved out a deep sigh.

“Fine,” he grumbled. “I hope there’s an almond croissant in there.”

Simon looked utterly dejected. “There isn’t, but I’ll make a note and I’ll make sure to bring one of these tomorrow! Annie liked the apple pastries better.”

Well, this Simon guy seemed to know Magnus’ mother better than he did.

“Go make some coffee, Sherwin, I’m going to have a shower,” he mumbled and spun around without waiting for an answer.

“Ahem, it’s Simon,” he called out but Magnus barely waved at him over his shoulder, dragging himself up the stairs and into the bathroom. He pointedly avoided the master bedroom, but opened the guest room where he would settle in the afternoon. He hadn’t had the energy the night before.

He removed his makeup and took a quick shower, letting the warm water beat him awake. When he was done, he picked his favorite pair of skinny ripped jeans, the ones that literally glimmered and made him - and his ass - look fabulous beyond words, and a Yves Saint-Laurent shirt that he left mostly open, the heat already warming up the house as he laid his outfit on the bed of the guest room, a towel wrapped around his waist. He got dressed quickly, and put some light makeup on before taking the stairs down.

He followed the smell of coffee to the back porch, but got distracted on his way by a very enthusiastic husky pup, greeting him with playful nips.

Magnus chuckled, reaching down to ruffle the dog’s fur. “Hello Jimmy darling,” he cooed. “Where’s your brother?”

Jimmy Chew barked in reply and ran out of the door towards the back porch.

“See you later!” Simon was crying out, waving his hand at someone near the pond.

Magnus knitted his  brows together and followed his gaze, but the person Simon had been talking to was already disappearing behind the imposing weeping willow that bordered the pond and Magnus only caught sight of a mop of dark hair attached to a tall, broad body as the man resumed running.

“Magnus!” Simon called out excitedly when he joined him on the porch. Bark Jacobs was sitting next to him, resting his chin on Simon’s lap and Magnus wondered which one of the two sported the best set of puppy eyes. “I didn’t know how you liked your coffee so I pretty much brought everything I found in the kitchen,” Simon announced, running a hand at the nape of his neck. “Good thing Jocelyn did some shopping for you.”

Magnus nodded, but didn’t reply. He still wasn’t fully awake, it was still far too early and he hadn’t had his first coffee yet, so he wasn’t in a talkative mood.

Simon’s smile  faltered a little, for the first time, and Magnus felt a bit guilty for a moment. Simon gently pushed Bark Jacobs’ head aside and leaped to his feet.

“Ahem, I’ll- I’ll let you enjoy your breakfast now,” he said bashfully, clearing his throat. “I didn’t mean to intrude. I used to stay and have breakfast with Annie but I realize it must be weird for someone like you, since you’re from the city and all.”

Magnus scoffed and waved a dismissive hand to Simon’s face. “Nonsense, Salmon,” he huffed out. “I’m not a big eater and you brought far too many pastries. Have a seat, grab a coffee and eat something. Just don’t talk too much before I’ve finished my first coffee.”

Simon nodded eagerly and sat back down, mimicking zipping his mouth shut and throwing out the key. Magnus rolled his eyes and took a seat next to him, sprawling his bare feet out. He poured himself a large coffee, adding a cloud of milk and one sugar.

He couldn’t hold back a content sigh as he took a first sip, relaxing in his chair. He randomly picked a pastry from the paper bag and bit down, suppressing a moan as the best vanilla cream he had tasted in his entire life invaded his palate.

“Shit, that’s good,” he breathed out, staring bemusedly at the pastry in his hand.

“Thanks,” Simon automatically perked up and he tilted his head to the side. Magnus almost snorted when on their side, Bark Jacobs did the exact same thing. “I made it myself! Annie always loved when I did them myself. I mean, not that Mom or Becca - Rebecca, that’s my sister - aren’t great bakers but they're better with bread and pies and stuff. I’m more into pastries myself. I’m glad you like it. I’ll be sure to bring up some almond croissants tomorrow, I haven’t done these in a while.”

“Tomorrow?” Magnus echoed, lifting an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Simon said through a mouthful of blueberry pie. “Told you. Breakfast delivery every morning. I think you have, like, two months worth of breakfast with what Annie had paid in advance.”

“I won’t be there for two months,” Magnus immediately corrected. “Two weeks top and then I’m going back to New York.”

“Oh. But Luke said -” Simon muttered, cutting himself off. He seemed genuinely disappointed and Magnus thought it was quite ridiculous, seeing as they had known each other for barely half an hour. “Nevermind,” Simon quipped, his wide grin back on his lips. He eyed Magnus’ mug dubiously, as if to make sure he could keep talking. It was nowhere near empty, but he went on anyway, apparently incapable of stopping himself. “So, how’s New York? I’ve never been there. I’ve done the West Coast with Clary when we got out of high school. We bought a crappy car in LA and had a road trip all the way back here but I’ve never been on the East Side. What do you do?”

Magnus finished his coffee in one gulp, burning his tongue in the process. He needed that if he was going to deal with this kid before eight in the morning.

“New York is… extraordinary,” Magnus said with a small smile, finally feeling his mind clearing up a bit. “Hard to explain, really. It’s a place beyond words. And I’m a fashion blogger, but I also do some regular freelance for a couple of magazines. I work from home.”

“That’s cool,” Simon replied with an approving nod, before motioning vaguely to Magnus’ outfit. “You’re like super fashionable, so that makes sense, I guess.”

Magnus blinked. He was pretty sure, that was a compliment. An awkward, weirdly put-out one, but a compliment nonetheless.

“Oh!” Simon exclaimed, and Bark Jacobs and Jimmy Chew, who was lying curled up at Magnus’ feet, both barked, startled. “I completely forgot but Luke asked me to give you directions to his office.”

“Yeah,” Magnus said, pouring himself a second coffee. “I have to be there by nine.”

Simon nodded and thankfully swallowed before he opened his mouth again to reply. “It’s really easy,” he said. “You take the road out of the forest in front of your house and go back to the city. The bakery is just at the entrance of the town and you go a bit further. You’ll have to turn right just after the next bar, there’s a big terrace on the front, with fairy lights and a big neon sign that says Java Jace. Luke’s office is the first building on that street.”

Magnus made a mental note to remember all of that but then again, Nashville was ridiculously small, so he was sure he would find it without too much trouble.

He leaned back in the chair, enjoying the morning wind gliding in his hair, cooling his skin in the most pleasant way.

He gestured towards the house on the other side of the pond. It had been there ever since his mother had bought her own fifteen years ago. It wasn’t as old as this one, but it had the same Gothic style, with a wide porch that gave straight to a garden and then the pond.

“Who lives there?” he asked, more to have something to talk about than by genuine curiosity.

“That’s Alec,” Simon replied, taking a sip of his coffee. “He’s the guy I was talking to before you came back from the bathroom. You’ll meet him soon enough. He’s cool.”

Magnus had heard the word “cool” in half an hour more than he had in the past five years. He hummed pensively in lieu of an answer, but was forced back to attention when Simon clapped his hands, rising to his feet.

“I’ve got to go back or Mom will kill me,” he said with a smile. “Come by the bakery sometime today, she made something for you!”

“Uh?” was the only response Magnus managed.

“Yeah, to welcome you in the city,” Simon said with an enthusiastic nod. “Everyone is really excited to meet Annie’s son.”

“Great,” Magnus gritted out through clenched teeth. “That’s great.”

“Come by Java Jace tonight around eight and you’ll meet almost everyone,” he added, bending down to pat Bark Jacobs’ head, who wiggled his tail in approval. “See you there!” he exclaimed and promptly disappeared back in the house and through the front door without waiting for an answer.

As soon as he was gone, both his dogs came to sit in front of Magnus, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

“Oh no,” he told them disapprovingly. “Don’t think I didn’t see Steven feed you some pastries under the table, boys.”

They whined in perfect unison and Magnus swore, cursing his weakness for puppy eyes inwardly.

“Fine,” he grumbled. “Breakfast time for you then.”

He darted one last glance over the pond, savouring the deadly silence around him.

Surely, he could last two weeks without dying of boredom.

.

His mother’s garage was as messy as the rest of the house, blank canvases scattered everywhere between boxes of dusty antics and other random objects she had gathered throughout her life. She had always been a sentimental, which meant she never threw away anything. The garage was further proof of her chaotic nature and Magnus actually had to step over a few boxes to get to the car, which was covered by a stained sheet.

He removed it swiftly, coughing as the move made a cloud of dust fly from the nearby boxes.

The car was an old Volvo 850 from 1997, the dark blue paint faded by time and the lack of upkeep. He wasn’t even remotely surprised to see its state of ruin. Annie had only bought it because the trunk was wide enough to contain a good dozen of canvas if you folded the back seats down.

He fidgeted with the keys for a moment before crawling behind the wheel and putting the contact on. The car coughed and roared and Magnus chuckled, before maneuvering out of the garage. He waved at the dogs on his way out of the driveway, locked in the fenced garden. They barked at him a bit miserably and Magnus rolled his eyes in fond exasperation. His dogs had certainly inherited his flair for the dramatics, but that only made them more fabulous than they already were, so he didn’t complain.

He followed Simon’s instructions carefully and it was barely ten minutes before he was out of the forest and turning right on the corner of the so-called Java Jace bar Simon had been blabbering about over breakfast.

Luke’s office was in a beautiful Gothic house painted a bright blue that fitted perfectly with the azurean sky of the slowly warming morning. He parked right in front of it and trotted to the front door. He was just about to knock when the door opened and he was greeted by a grinning Clary, who cried out his name enthusiastically and threw herself in his arms, wrapping her own around his neck.

Magnus blinked, surprised, but closed his arms around her and patted her back anyway.

“Hey, biscuit,” he muttered softly.

“Magnus!” she exclaimed cheerfully. “It’s so good to see you.”

“You too,” he said, and was surprised to hear the honesty in his own voice.

He had always liked Clary, ever since she was a child following him around when they had come to visit them in New York, before his mother had moved away. She had been a sweet child, kind and polite, and her good nature hadn’t disappeared as she had grown in a beautiful woman, her long red hair cascading down her shoulders in waves.

Her green eyes were lit up with glee as she studied him and they still held the same wonder than they had in her younger days. Even after his mother had moved away, she came to visit Magnus in New York at least once a year, usually for Christmas or Thanksgiving and sometimes, she had taken Clary with her. It had become a regular thing when Clary started showing more interest in following an artist career like both their mothers and they had spent many afternoons in the MoMa or visiting art galleries in the heart of Soho.

Magnus had always liked her and he had always been excited at the prospect of her visiting with her mother. They hadn’t come this year, and he knew now that it was his mother’s cancer that had prevented them from coming.

The thought brought him back to reality and to the reason he was in front of Luke’s office.

“I have to go,” he said, gesturing vaguely towards the hall. “We’ll catch up later? Come have dinner with me tomorrow night, okay?”

Clary nodded eagerly, her smile brighter than the morning sun. “Simon told me you were coming to have a drink with us tonight at Java Jace,” she said. “I can’t wait!”

Magnus didn’t tell her that he had never agreed to that and pushed back the urge to sigh.

“Great!” she exclaimed, rising on her tiptoes to plant a kiss to his cheek. “See you there!”

She all but bounced her way down the steps, grabbing the bike she had left leaning against the railing of the stairs and waving at him before she took off down the street.

Magnus waved back absently and walked into the house.

The hall was a waiting room, a few chairs leaning against the side wall and right in front of him was a high desk with a bell on the counter but no one behind it. He hesitated for a moment before he actually pressed the button, a light clangor resonating in the room.

“Coming!” a fruity, decidedly female voice called out from another room.

Magnus waited patiently, hands hooked together behind his back, chewing nervously on his bottom lip. He didn’t even know why he was nervous, but he was. He just had a bad feeling about this whole thing, an uneasy twist in his stomach that predicted nothing good.

It wasn’t long before the owner of the voice joined him in the hall. She was quite small, with light brown skin and warm brown eyes and her curly hair bounced on her head as she moved, carrying a box that looked quite heavy. Magnus rushed to help her, plucking it out of her hands to set it on the counter of the desk.

“Hi!” she exclaimed cheerfully, a wide grin on her lips. Magnus wondered if there was something in the water in this town. People just seemed too happy and cheerful for it to be natural.

“Hi,” he said, and cleared his throat. “I’m Magnus Bane. I have an appointment with Luke Garroway,” he added solemnly.

“Oh, you’re Annie’s son,” she beamed, leaning a hand on his forearm. Magnus forced himself not to swat it away. “I’m Maia,” she said. “I’m sorry for your loss. We all miss her.”

Magnus smiled gingerly, running a hand in his hair. “Thank you.”

“Oh, your appointment!” she said with a quick nod. “Go ahead, Luke is waiting for you.”

He followed the direction she was pointing at, a closed door that was right on his left, and he walked in without further ado.

Luke was sitting behind his desk, leaning over some paperwork, a pen in his hand and he looked up at the sound of the door, smiling brightly when he saw Magnus.

“Magnus!” he called out, pushing his chair away to rise to his feet and greet him with a hug.

It seemed like Magnus was going to have to get used to the touchy-feely vibe around here.

“Please sit down,” Luke said, motioning to the chairs in front of his desk. “Can I get you something to drink? Tea? Coffee?”

“I could use a coffee,” Magnus said as he sat down, crossing his legs. “I had two already but the baker boy woke me up at an unholy hour. Good thing the pastries were heavenly or I would have  drowned him in the pond.”

Luke laughed, his head thrown back as he walked to the coffee machine in a corner of the room.

“Simon’s a good kid,” he said, and there was unmistakable fondness in his voice. “He can go a bit overboard but he means well, and he has a heart of gold.”

Magnus hummed pensively, sending him a grateful smile as he grabbed the cup from his hands.

“He seemed to know Mom well,” he said airily. “And Maia at the front desk mentioned her too. I didn’t know she even knew anyone beside you and Jocelyn around here.”

Luke paused and casted a surprised look at Magnus over his shoulder from where he was standing with his back to him, rummaging in one of the drawers of the wide cabinet against the wall.

“Magnus,” he said slowly, like he wasn’t quite sure he should. “The whole town went to her funeral.”

Magnus blinked, rubbing his fingers together. “I- I know there were a lot of people at the funeral but I figured it was mostly her artist friends, or some fans of her work who had heard the news and decided to attend.”

Luke shook his head as he dropped a file on the desk and sat in the chair in front of Magnus, leaning forward to lace his fingers together, looking straight into his eyes.

“Everyone loved her here,” he muttered. “We all miss her.”

“Yeah,” Magnus breathed out, because he couldn’t think of anything else to say.

He was slowly finding out that there was a whole part of his mother’s life that he had just completely ignored. He knew he probably held as much responsibility as she did for that, but that didn’t prevent the bitter feeling that twisted his stomach and made his heart clench in his chest.

They hadn’t called each other as much as they used to ever since they had had that violent fight five years ago that had caused Magnus to shorten his stay in Indiana and go back to New York four days earlier than planned. They had still Skyped or called at least once a month, but Magnus had mostly talked about his work, and the last fashion shows he had attended, and Annie had listened like she always did but hadn’t offered much information in exchange.

She had mentioned Luke and Jocelyn regularly and she had talked about her long walks in the forest and the animals she had stumbled upon but mostly, she had wanted to know about Magnus’ life. Magnus had lost counts of how many times she had asked him if he was happy. He had always replied yes, but he had known as much as she certainly had that it was mainly to reassure her.

“Magnus?”

He shook his head and blinked, focusing back on Luke, who was giving him a sympathetic glance that made Magnus’ skin crawl, apprehension twisting his stomach again.

“Sorry,” he said, plastering a smile on his face.

“Are you sure you want to do that now?” Luke asked softly. “We can do that another time if you prefer.”

“Nonsense,” Magnus quipped. “I came all the way from New York and I’d rather do it now and get it over with. Please, proceed.”

Luke hesitated for a moment, a dubious expression on his face, but he eventually nodded and opened the file he had set on the desk.

He cleared his throat, darted one last look at Magnus and started reading, his grave voice somehow perfectly fitting the formality of the situation.

“I, Annisa Bane, declare that this is my last will and testament. I hereby revoke, annul and cancel all wills and codicils previously made by me, either jointly or severally. I declare that I am of legal age to make this will, and that I am sound of mind (or as much as I’ve ever been in my life, but it is true that I have been called a crazy witch a few times).”

Magnus chuckled tearfully, the realization of the reason of their appointment suddenly dawning on him. Luke paused, the corner of his lips curving into a fond smile.

“She was a bit crazy,” Magnus allowed, a surge of affection fluttering in his chest.

“Yeah,” Luke sighed, but it was lighthearted. “Did I ever tell you about the time I went to visit and she had barricaded the whole house? I had to break a window to come in because I was starting to get worried and I found her in her workshop, working on a piece with fluorescent painting. She kicked me out, yelling that I had disturbed her mojo.”

Magnus laughed and he didn’t even have to force himself. This was so much like his mother, he had no trouble imagining her frantic attempts at plunging herself in complete darkness for a series of paintings.

There was a comfortable silence in the room for a few seconds but Luke eventually snapped out of his reverie that was undoubtedly full of happy memories if the soft smile on his lips was anything to go by.

He cleared his throat again, and glanced down at the paper.

“This will expresses my last wishes. I hereby nominate and appoint my dear friend Luke Garroway as an executor. My friend, I know you will see that my last wishes are respected, no matter how eccentric or odd they might appear.”

Luke paused again and took a deep breath before continuing. “To you, Luke, I give my collections of ancient books. I know how much you love them, and that you will take care of them. That is, if you can find them, because I have no idea where I last put them. I think they might be in the attic.”

Magnus laughed loudly at that and the lump in his throat seemed to disappear with the affection that was suddenly plaguing him.

Luke chuckled with him, shaking his head. “I swear she was the messiest person I have ever known.”

“Tell me about it,” Magnus replied, with a fond smile. “I don’t think I’ll have enough of two weeks to clean up the house.”

Something Magnus didn’t recognize flashed in Luke’s eyes and he winced, before ducking his head to read again. Magnus frowned, half in surprise and half in apprehension.

“To Jocelyn, I give my New Harmony series of paintings. I know how much you loved them, even though I still can’t understand why. I hope you enjoy them still when I’m gone. To my Clary, dearest, sweet Clary, I give my collection of brushes. They are old things but they’ve been among my most faithful friends throughout the years. I hope they will bring you the same joy they brought me. To Ragnor, I give my Stradivarius (again, if you can find it, I think it’s in the garage) and my eternal gratitude. I will never be able to thank you enough for taking care of my boy when I left to find my happiness here.”

Magnus cleared his throat, suddenly uncomfortable again. “I’ll bring the violin to Ragnor when I get back to New York,” he said in a small voice.

Luke hummed in agreement, but didn’t look up.

“To Simon, I give all my DVDs, which I only bought because of you anyway, and twenty thousands dollars to keep your bakery open. Your pastries are always a pleasure, but they are nothing compared to your incredible, albeit unexpected, friendship.”

Magnus was surprised, to say the least, but he shrugged. It was just another one of his mother’s quirks, and he didn’t care much for the money anyway.

“To the town of Nashville, Indiana,” Luke went on, and this time, Magnus froze in surprise, his brow knitting together, “I give half of my remaining fortune. Luke, as the mayor of this beautiful place, I know you will make good use of this money.  This town gave me more than I can give back. I found happiness here, and true friends that I love dearly, no matter their age. I hope this money will help to keep it the wonderful place that it is, that welcomes strangers like me with open arms and teaches them how magnificent a feeling it is to watch things fall into place after watching them fall apart for so long.”

Magnus frowned. He certainly hadn’t been expecting that either. He didn’t even know what she meant when she talked of things falling apart. She had always seemed happy to him, if not a bit lunatic. The change when she had moved to Nashville had been evident but he hadn’t deemed her miserable before that.

“To my darling son, my one and only love, Magnus,” Luke continued, his voice wavering slightly with emotions now, “I give absolutely everything else. All that remains of my money, my house, my car, my land and everything in the house.”

Luke paused, a beat too long, and glanced up at Magnus, a preoccupied flicker in his eyes. The same feelings as before twisted Magnus’ stomach, concern, fear and a hint of nerves mixing together and making his body freeze in anticipation.

“All of it, on one condition,” Luke continued and Magnus’ heart sank. “That you come to live for sixth months in that house you never got to know, in this town you never gave a chance. After these six months, the house and everything else will be yours. Whether you’ll choose to sell it or build yourself a happy life here will be entirely your choice. I just ask for six months.”

“W-What?” Magnus asked in a blank voice, but Luke raised a hand and he shut his mouth.

“Magnus, my sweet, loving boy,” he continued reading, “I have not been there for you as much as I should have. I made the selfish choice of pursuing my own desires when I should have been a mother to you instead and I know you are still mad at me for it. This is my only regret, that you refused to come with me and find some peace of mind here. You won’t tell me, but I know you’re not happy in New York and maybe I am wrong, maybe these six months won’t change anything, but there is also the possibility that this place will help you learn that you find happiness where you create it, just like it did for me. Be patient, be good and keep faith, and this place and all the wonderful souls it hosts will show you the path. I love you.”

Luke set the will back on the table and looked up at Magnus, who stared blankly at him, unable to form a proper answer. His eyes were wide with shock and his heart was rummaging in his chest, a deafening beat that echoed in a muffled sound in his ears and in a throbbing in his temples.

“W-What?” he asked again, and his own voice sounded distant.

“It’s only six months, Magnus,” Luke said diplomatically.

“Six months is a long time,” Magnus retorted. “I’m from New York, not from around here. What am I going to do for six months? And what about my dogs? They’re used to  living in New York. Who’s going to take care of my apartment? And I have a job, too. That’s insane, Luke. I can’t live here for six months.”

Luke lifted an eyebrow and leveled him with a calm look, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Your dogs will be much happier here where they can gambol around without the restraints of traffic or pollution. For your apartment, I’m sure Ragnor will water your plants if you ask him, or any of your friends. I know you work from home and I know it might come as a surprise to you, but we do have an Internet connection here, so you should be good on that front too. Now, tell me,” he muttered, leaning forward to look right into Magnus’ eyes. “You  _ can’t _ , or you  _ won’t _ ?”

Magnus let himself a few seconds to assimilate all of that. His head was spinning and he buried it in his hands, resting his elbows on his knees.

He let out an inhuman noise, halfway between a groan and a frustrated cry.

“This was her place,” he murmured dejectedly. “Not mine. She made a choice by moving here and leaving me behind in New York, and now that she’s gone, she wants to guilt-trip me into doing what I didn’t do when she was alive?” His voice had raised slowly with a sudden burst of anger and Luke pulled a face. “That’s bullshit, Luke. She has no right to demand that of me.”

“It’s not a demand,” Luke said softly, tapping a finger on the piece of paper. “It’s a wish. One of her last wishes.”

Magnus swallowed past the lump in his throat, pushing away his anger, his nerves, his fear. All of it was replaced by an inevitable sense of fatality, hovering on him like a Damocles sword.

He already blamed himself for how distant their relationship had been in the past few years, he didn’t think he could live with the knowledge that he hadn’t respected his mother’s dying wish.

“Fine,” he breathed out. “Fine.”

.

When he walked back through the front door of his mother’s house an hour later, he was still in a gloomy mood. The daze her condition had left him in was still dictating every one of his movements, and he threw the keys in the bowl in the entrance and fished his phone out of his pocket and opened the Skype app, immediately calling Raphael.

He picked up at the second ringtone and there was some shuffling on his side for a minute before his frowning face and Catarina’s gentle one appeared on Magnus’ screen. He bit the inside of his cheek to hold back tears. He had left them the day before, but he missed them now more than he ever had, his whole body craving for their presence.

“There he is,” Raphael said, deadpan. “I thought you would already be inside an alligator’s stomach by now. I’m surprised you managed to survive that long.”

Magnus choked on a laugh but didn’t reply and that was enough to turn both their faces into matching masks of worry.

“What happened?” Catarina asked softly, elbowing Raphael so she could have a better view.

“My mother happened,” Magnus sighed as he walked to the liquor cabinet in the living room, pouring himself a glass of scotch. When they didn’t respond, clearly waiting for him to explain, he let out a deep breath and took a long sip of the drink, grimacing as the liquid burned his throat. “I just came back from my appointment with Luke, my mother’s lawyer. About her will.”

“Did she disown you completely?” Raphael snarled, although it lacked his usual verve. “Did she realize what a terrible human being you were and decided to leave you nothing but some hideous tableware?”

Magnus glared at his phone, earning a smug smirk in return. Catarina smacked a hand at the back of Raphael’s head, who muffled a pained moan.

“What’s wrong, Magnus?” she asked, turning a worried glance back to him.

“Actually, she left almost everything to me,” he said, unable to keep the dejection out of his voice. “The house, the car… Everything. On one condition.”

“That you stop wearing those ridiculous clothes?” Raphael chimed in and ducked to avoid another blow from Catarina. “Because in that case, I approve.”

Magnus scoffed and the ghost of a smile grew on his lips, but it was too disheartened to reach his eyes. “On the condition that I stay to live in this house for six months,” he said and Catarina and Raphael both froze on the screen. He was actually worried that the connection had stopped working for a moment, but then Catarina blinked and he realized they were just experiencing the same shock he had been through in Luke’s office.

“What?” they exclaimed in a same voice.

“You heard me,” Magnus muttered, downing the rest of his drink in one go before walking to the garden where he had left the dogs earlier.

Bark Jacobs was running after a squirrel, barking his lungs out and Jimmy Chew was curled up a bit further, seemingly asleep.

“Six months?” Raphael echoed, all trace of mirth gone from his voice.

“Yup.”

“In Nashville, Indiana?”

“Yup.”

“Oh, Magnus,” Catarina said apologetically. “Are you going to do it?”

“It’s her last wish,” he replied, and it was enough of an answer for both his friends.

“Can we come and visit you?” she asked. “Or do you have to stay away from all New York things for six months?”

“God, please come and move in with me,” he rushed out desperately, taking the stairs down to the garden. He knew it wasn’t possible, because they both had work, Catarina in the hospital and Raphael running the Dumort Hotel in Brooklyn, but there was no harm in asking. “I don’t know how I’m going to survive without you for six months. I don’t belong here. Everyone is just… nice. And everyone I ran into talked to me about my mother. Annie here, Annie there. It’s like they were her family, not me. All I can think about is that she lived here for fifteen years and they all seem to know her better than I did and I’m her son.”

“Perhaps it could be good for you,” Catarina said gently, carefully. “It could help you get to know her better. How she lived, whom she loved, what she did.”

Magnus hummed pensively, a small smile gracing his features when Bark Jacobs eventually caught sight of him and completely ignored the squirrel, who had climbed up a tree to escape from him, to come running back towards him, barking happily.

Magnus laughed when his dog all but jumped at his legs, tongue poking out with excitement.

“Say hello BJ,” he said through a fond chuckle, turning the screen towards him. Catarina cooed at him, and so did Raphael, although he would rather die than admit it.

The connection scattered a little and for a moment, there was nothing but big squares on his screen before his friends’ faces reappeared. Magnus cursed the countryside for bad reception.

“Where’s Jimmy boy?” Catarina asked, her voice breaking up every other word because of the slow connection. Magnus smiled at the screen, walking over to where the pup was sleeping a few steps further.

“Hey JC,” he called out as he reached him.

Jimmy Chew opened his eyes and looked up at him but whined in answer, none of his usual energy in his bright blue eyes.

Magnus frowned. “Come on, darling,” he said softly. “Aren’t you happy to see Daddy?”

“Things I hoped I’d never hear you say,” Raphael deadpanned but Magnus ignored him, his worry increasing tenfold when Jimmy Chew refused to move even when he reached out to pet his head.

“I think there’s something wrong with him,” he murmured, dread pouring out of every word. “His breathing is really shallow.”

The pup obviously tried to move but his legs gave out and he fell back to the ground with a whine.

“Oh God, I think he’s dying,” Magnus stammered, gulping. “Oh God, oh God. Baby, please don’t.”

“Magnus, hang up and call a veterinarian,” Raphael told him, his brow knitted together in worry.

“I don’t know any veterinarian!” Magnus exclaimed. “I only know Luke and his family here!”

“Then call them!” Catarina instructed. “Call us back to let us know how he is. It’s gonna be okay, Magnus. We love you, bye.”

She hung up before he could react. He watched as Jimmy tried to stand, only to fail again and was immediately pulled into action, frantically searching for Luke’s number.

“Luke!” he cried as soon as he picked up, not leaving him a second to react.

“Magnus? What’s wrong?”

“It’s JC,” he stressed, tightening his hold on his phone to avoid dropping it, his fingers trembling uncontrollably around him. “There’s something wrong with him and I think he’s dying. He’s breathing very fast and he can’t move and -”

“Okay, Magnus, slow down,” Luke said calmly. “I’m going to text you the address of the veterinary practice in town, okay? It’s not far from my office. Just drive straight there. I’ll call you back as soon as I’m done with work.”

“Okay,” Magnus said, urging himself to take deep breaths to calm the wild beating of his heart. “Okay. I’m gonna do that.”

“Good. Bye.”

He didn’t wait for the text to come and bended down to pick up Jimmy Chew, who seemed to weigh far heavier than he usually did, probably because his body was a dead mass and he still didn’t move.

Magnus whistled for Bark Jacobs to follow and rushed to the car, opening the back seat for the dog, who leaped behind without a protest. He grabbed a blanket from the trunk and laid it above Jimmy Chew on the passenger seat before settling behind the wheel and setting the car in motion, rushing through the forest but slowing down slightly when he arrived in the city, one hand on the wheel and the other one on his phone to follow Luke’s instructions.

The veterinary practice was in a house much similar to the one that held Luke’s office, except this one was painted a plain white and a large sign displayed the words “Lightwood Practice, for our furry friends” in big, elegant letters on the front side, the shadows of a cat and a dog on each side of the writing.

Magnus parked as well as he could in his current state - which meant he ended up half on the sidewalk - and rushed out of the car, tugging Jimmy Chew into his arms and motioning for Bark Jacobs to follow him inside. He all but burst the door open but the first room seemed empty.

“Help!” he cried out desperately. “Please!”

The back door opened almost immediately and a tall, dark-haired man barged in, eyes wide in alert. Magnus didn’t really look twice at him.

“Are you a vet?” he asked, panic making him sound half hysterical.

“Yeah,” the stranger said, quirking an eyebrow. “You’re in a veterinary practice,” he added, voice heavy with sarcasm.

“Now is not the time for sarcasm!” Magnus snapped. “My dog is dying!”

The veterinarian frowned and stepped closer. He reached out to grab Jimmy Chew but Magnus tightened his hold on the pup, taking a step back.

“You have to let me have a look at him,” the man said softly, although it was layered by a hint of annoyance.

“I’m staying with him,” Magnus retorted firmly, clinging to his dog fiercely. 

The stranger seemed about to snap back but he took in Magnus’ stubborn demeanor and sighed instead.

“Come on,” he mumbled, jerking his head to the side and leading them to a room on the side.

It was a wide room with large panel windows that allowed the midday light to peer through the curtains and ricochet on the plain walls. It smelled like a hospital but it was oddly reassuring. Magnus had been to a few veterinary clinics in New York that had smelled heavily like urine and wet dog hair and he had never stepped a foot in them again.

“Put him over here and tell me what happened,” the veterinarian said in a grave voice.

Magnus was about to answer when Bark Jacobs barked at his side and whined miserably.

The man whirled around and looked down at the miniature american shepherd, his features softening instantaneously.

“I know, buddy,” he replied, reaching out to pet his head softly. “I’ll take care of your little brother, don’t worry.”

Magnus inhaled deeply, somehow reassured by the way BJ, who had always been a great judge of character, seemed to relax under the foreign touch.

The guy straightened up quickly and Magnus was tugged back into motion. He deposited Jimmy Chew on the examination table gently, kissing the top of his head as he unwrapped his arms.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Magnus said, and he was back in a state of sheer panic in the spur of a second, trying to recall any detail that could be helpful. “I’m staying in the house by the pond and I had an appointment in town this morning so I left them in the garden. I thought it would be fine but when I came back, he was all curled up and I thought he was napping but when I went to greet him, he didn’t move and he tried to get up but couldn’t and his breathing was shallow and he weighed a ton.”

He took a deep breath, but it did nothing to calm the wild rummaging of his heart. “He was still so good this morning when I left them. Can it come that quickly? Is he going to stay paralyzed forever? I mean, I don’t care, I’ll buy him a wheelchair for dogs or something but you have to tell me, like be brutally honest. I can take it.”

The man was about to speak but Magnus stopped him, his eyes widening. “No, actually I can’t take it!” he quickly backtracked. “I already had the shittiest morning and if you’re going to tell me my baby boy is going to die, there’s a very high chance that I’m just gonna lock myself up somewhere and cry for the next six months. Could it be cancer? Please tell me it’s not cancer.”

The man was looking at him bemusedly, and Magnus understood that his frantic behavior wasn’t aiding but he couldn’t help it and he had seemingly lost all pretence at acting detached.

“Breathe,” he said and Magnus did, inhaling and exhaling deeply.

“I’m from New York,” he then blurted out and promptly started panicking again. “Holy shit, is it some kind of weird disease dogs only catch in the countryside? I’ve seen some really weird stuff since I arrived and I only arrived yesterday.”

“It’s not-”

“I never should have come here,” Magnus went on, too perturbed to even notice the other man. “I should have stayed in New York and never stepped a foot here. This place is hell. Now my boy has caught some weird countryside disease and-”

“Oh, for God’s sake, it’s a tick!” the man yelled, obviously exasperated, and Magnus startled and froze.

He grabbed a pair of surgical tweezers and started patting Jimmy Chew’s body. A short moment later, he was holding the incriminated insect between the pliers and Magnus grimaced, gingerly taking a step back.

“Nothing more than a tick, city boy,” the veterinarian said more calmly, dropping the tick in a plastic container, and the words sounded like an insult in his mouth. He was petting Jimmy Chew as he did and he tilted his head, completely ignoring Magnus, to look at the pup. “That’s a good boy,” he muttered gently. “You were very brave, buddy.”

“His name is Jimmy Chew,” Magnus chimed in.

The man’s head jerked up and he lifted an eyebrow, his lips pursed in a tight line.

“It’s a pun. Like Jimmy Choo?” Magnus explained, in an obvious tone that might have come out as slightly patronizing, but he was beyond caring at this point. “And that’s Bark Jacobs,” he added, gesturing to the dog who was sitting quietly at his side. The stranger seemed genuinely appalled by Magnus’ name choices. “For Mark Jacobs. They’re fashion brands.”

“I know what they are,” he retorted, rolling his eyes. “Just because this is not New York doesn’t mean we’re living in the Middle Age, city boy.”

“It’s Magnus,” he let out before he could stop himself. “And who are you? Do you have a name or should I just call you a rude ass?”

The man seemed surprised by Magnus’ comeback but he eventually snorted and turned around to grab a compress, completely forgoing Magnus’ existence.

“I’m Alec,” he said. “And I know who you are, you’re -”

“Annie’s son, yes,” Magnus gritted out before he could continue, his voice heavy with exasperation.

“I was going to say my neighbor but I guess you’re that too,” Alec replied with a smirk. He didn’t leave Magnus the time to answer and Magnus was seriously started to get annoyed with the guy. “I’ll have to keep him tonight for observation,” he added as he wiped the area where the tick had lodged itself in Jimmy Chew’s fur with soap and water. “The other one too,” he said, patting BJ’s head as he pushed on his back legs to stand on them and try to see the pup. “I’ll vaccinate them both for Lyme disease in the morning and you can get them back tomorrow night, because I suppose you didn’t do that in New York.”

Magnus frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. “No, I didn’t get them vaccinated for Lyme disease in New York, because we don’t have ticks in New York.”

Alec scoffed, shaking his head in a condescending manner that made Magnus’ blood boil. “Yes, you do, city boy. Sorry to burst your bubble.”

“Are you always an arrogant ass to the pet owners who come to your practice or is it just me?” Magnus snapped, narrowing his eyes at him, his skin crawling with a cold, slowly building anger.

“It’s just you,” Alec retorted with a mocking smirk. “Are you always a snobbish city slicker or is it just when you step in our humble medieval lands, Your Highness?”

“Look, pretty boy, I am having a very shitty day,” Magnus growled angrily, “I don’t need you to make it worse with your attitude problem.”

Alec rolled his eyes and walked away to grab something on the desk that was standing by the window.

“Fill that in,” he instructed sternly. “Just put your phone number in there. You can skip the address, I know where you live.”

Magnus curved an eyebrow and leveled him with a dubious look, hips popping to the side, one hand lying there in a defiant posture. 

“If you wanted my phone number, you could have just asked directly,” he taunted with a mocking smirk. “Is it some kind of ‘I’ll pull your hair to show you I like you’ thing? Because that’s already not cute for children but it’s even less cute when you’re an adult.”

Alec huffed out exasperatedly and crossed his arms over his chest, stepping closer to Magnus until he had to look up slightly to hold his gaze. He hadn’t realized it before but Alec was tall, even taller than Magnus, who was already above average himself. Somehow, this simple fact made his irritation intensify.

“We’ll keep the dogs under observation for the night. We need your number to let you know when you can come pick them up,” he sneered.

“Whatever you say, pretty boy,” Magnus retorted with a wink, because it seemed to aggravate him much more than his previous methods and the guy had pissed him off enough to bring to light Magnus’ petty side. “You keep telling yourself that.”

“Stop it,” Alec growled threateningly.

Magnus scoffed out a wry laugh and wrote down his phone number and basic informations, before handing the paper over. Alec grabbed it with a scowl and sat down behind his desk to fill out something himself.

Magnus took the opportunity to turn away from him and walked to the examination table. Jimmy Chew blinked up at him, a miserable look in his blue eyes. Magnus pouted and bended down to be on eye level.

“You’re gonna be okay, darling,” he muttered, gently rubbing between his ears.

JC craned his neck to lick his fingers and Magnus smiled a small smile.

“Daddy will pick you and your brother up tomorrow,” he told him, and Jimmy Chew stopped licking his fingers, nipping at them playfully instead. “Be a good boy, okay?”

He turned around and squatted to be on Bark Jacobs’ level. The dog immediately trotted to meet him and Magnus grabbed his head between his hands, ruffling his fur. “You take care of the little one for me,” he said and cursed his voice for wavering with emotions.

He hated this day, hated this town for making him emotional when he was usually an expert at keep his feelings bottled up. Bark Jacobs seemed to feel his distress because he whined and stepped closer, plastering himself against Magnus’ chest.

Magnus wrapped his arms around him, leaning his cheek against the top of his head and stroking his neck, finding comfort in the warm presence of the dog in his arms.

He startled when Alec cleared his throat, standing next to the examination table with Jimmy Chew in his arms. His face was unreadable, but far softer than it had been throughout their whole exchange.

Magnus sighed and rose to his feet. “Take care of them, okay?” he asked in a small voice. “I need them to be okay.”

Alec nodded sternly but didn’t reply, motioning for Magnus to follow him with a jerk of his chin. They walked back into the hall and through another door. They stumbled into a large room, wide cages on both sides with glass doors. Magnus felt bad leaving the dogs here, but at least the cages looked comfortable, each one containing dishes, toys and blankets.

Magnus led Bark Jacobs in one of them while Alec deposited Jimmy Chew on a blanket in another one right next to it. Once the doors were closed, Magnus remained standing in front of them, watching his dogs sniff around and discovering the place.

“They’ll be okay,” Alec told him, in a soft tone that contrasted drastically with the abrupt, borderline insulting one he had used before.

Magnus hummed pensively and waved lamely at his boys before stepping out of the room, his stomach twisting painfully.

He stopped in the hall, reaching in his pocket for his wallet.

Alec took in his crestfallen expression and pursed his lips, his brow knitting together in a somehow sympathetic expression.

“It’s nothing, really,” he said. “It happens a lot around here. I’ll give you a booklet on how to get rid of ticks when you pick them up tomorrow.”

“How much do I owe you?” Magnus asked flatly.

“My secretary isn’t here today, he’s doing the tour of the farms we visit regularly,” Alec replied. “You can sort it out with him tomorrow.”

Magnus nodded, sliding his wallet back in his pocket.

“Look -” Alec started with a sigh.

“Save it,” Magnus snapped, shaking his head. “I don’t want your pity.”

“It’s not-”

“Bye, Alec,” Magnus said and turned around, rushing out of the practice before he could change his mind, kidnap his own dogs and take the first plane back to New York.

He was about to climb back in the car when he noticed a piece of paper tucked below his windshield wipers. He grabbed it with a frown.

“Fucking fantastic,” he exclaimed as he read it, sliding the parking ticket in his pocket. “Fuck this town.”

He slid in the Volvo and went back on the road, driving towards the pond. He drove past the bakery and braked abruptly, remembering Simon’s words this morning. He sighed and pulled over in front of the bakery, careful to park correctly this time.

He really wasn’t in the mood to see anyone but he had a sudden craving for comfort food, and it was stronger than his uncharacteristic need to confine himself in his house and not talk to anyone for the next six months.

A light bell clanged over his head as he opened the door and a second later, a small, brown-haired woman came through the back door of the bakery, her eyes warm and friendly.

“Hello there! How can I help you today?”

“Hi,” he said, forcing himself to appear at least a little friendly. “Simon told me to come by today because you had something for me. I’m Magnus Bane.”

“Oh, dear!” the woman exclaimed and she quickly circled the counter to greet him, tugging him into a strong hug. Magnus’ eyes widened.

What was wrong with the people in this town?

He pushed her back gently, doing his best to hide a grimace. Magnus had always been a touchy-feely person, but not with strangers and most certainly not when he was in a foul mood.

“You’re such a beautiful young man,” she gushed, taking his head between her hands to study him properly. “Oh, and you look just like Annie,” she added, voice full of emotions, and Magnus’ heart sank in his chest. “You’ve got the same gold in your eyes.”

Magnus forced a polite smile on his lips. “So I’ve heard, Ma’am,” he mumbled.

“Call me Elaine,” she exclaimed cheerfully, finally releasing him. “I made some muffins for you, as a welcome present,” she added, walking back behind the counter. She kneeled and disappeared for a moment before reappearing with her hands full of a wicker basket.

It was overflowed with muffins and fruits and she beamed at him as she handed it to him. “I put some fruits from our garden too,” she said, and winked at him, “mainly blackberries and blueberries but there’s some cherries as well.”

Magnus accepted the basket hesitantly. “You really didn’t have to.”

“Nonsense,” Elaine quipped, swatting her hand on his shoulder. “You’re Annie’s son, you’re already part of the family.”

“The family?” Magnus echoed, lifting an eyebrow.

“Well, Nashville, of course,” Elaine replied with a wide grin.

It made sense, suddenly. This whole town was actually a sect where it was mandatory to smile all the time and be overly nice (the local veterinarian clearly didn’t get the memo, or maybe he had been kicked out of their cult because he was a rude ass). Magnus saw no other explanation.

“Right,” he said dubiously. “Thank you.”

He stood there awkwardly for a moment, arms full of the wicker basket, not sure what to do with himself.

“Right,” he repeated lamely, darting his eyes away from Elaine’s warm and expectant eyes. “I’ve got to go,” he mumbled. “I have to call my friends from New York.”

“Okay,” she said, and she didn’t seemed unfazed, her grin still luminous, although it wasn’t contagious enough to bring comfort to Magnus. “See you later, sugar.”

Magnus nodded and walked out of the bakery. He put the basket on the back seat of the car and started driving again. He barely drove two minutes before he heaved out a deep sigh and turned the car around. He parked in front of Java Jace without really thinking about it.

The building looked more like a chalet than a bar. It was quite large and a bit rustic and the neon sign was frankly tacky but Magnus had had a really bad day and if he went home now, he was certainly going to empty his mother’s liquor cabinet, no matter how old and expensive the bottles were. He grabbed a muffin from the basket and locked the car before walking in Java Jace.

The inside was rustic too, but in a way that was welcoming and pleasant. There was a long bar on the left side and a myriad of various bottles of alcohol on the wall behind it. The rest of the room was cut in two halves, one for the few couches, chairs and tables, and one for a small wooden platform and an empty space that Magnus guessed served as a dancefloor to the regular customers.

Magnus walked straight to the bar and took a seat on a stool, the closest one from the back door that seemed to lead to a backyard that he made a mental note to go explore later.

“Whisky on the rocks, please,” he called out, resting his face on his fist, picking at a bit of scaled paint on the bar with a nail.

“Bad day?” the barman asked as he set a drink in front of him.

Magnus picked it up and downed it in one go, grimacing some at the burn. “This is quite possibly the worst day of my life,” he mumbled in reply, gesturing for him to refill his drink.

“You’re Annie’s son, right?” the barman said, and obliged. “You look like her.”

Magnus groaned, running a hand over his features. “Yes, yes I am.”

“I’m Jace,” he said and held out his hand for Magnus to shake.

It was such a normal gesture, far away from the impulsive hugs, and his face bore a smile, but a small one, nothing like the wide grins he had been subjected to all day, that Magnus had to hold back a relieved sigh.

He was fairly good-looking, with messy sandy blond hair that flopped over his eyes in spite of his obvious efforts to keep it back. His eyes were unlike any Magnus had ever seen, one blue and the other half blue and half brown. He was quite handsome and Magnus wondered inwardly if another rule of the Nashville cult was that everyone had to be good-looking, because there was something seriously odd with that too.

“Magnus,” he said, shaking the outstretched hand.

“Wanna talk about it?” Jace offered.

Magnus took a sip of whiskey, taking his time to enjoy the taste this time, and heaved out a deep sigh. “This town isn’t made for me,” he confessed, for a reason that was far beyond himself. “I hate it and I’m stuck here for the next six months, my ignorance almost killed my dog and the vet was a jerk, I got a parking ticket and people keep mentioning my mother to me when I really,  _ really _ don’t want to talk about her and now I’m here baring my heart to a bartender whom I’ve never seen before.”

“Could be worse,” Jace said, resting his elbows on the counter and leaning a bit further. Magnus glanced up at him, lifting an eyebrow. “The bartender could be ugly,” Jace remarked with a playful, arrogant wink.

Magnus scoffed and the ghost of a smile grew on his lips in spite of himself.

“I guess so,” he retorted half-heartedly.

“Who was the vet?” Jace asked with a frown.

Someone  from behind Magnus’ called Jace over before he could reply and Jace straightened up, ready to walk to the table. “Leave the bottle, pretty boy,” Magnus called out before he could walk away. “I think I need it.”

Jace hesitated for a second but he shrugged, sliding the bottle of whisky next to Magnus’ glass before walking away. Magnus poured himself a large glass.

“To six months of hell,” he murmured to himself before taking a long gulp.

.

By the end of the afternoon, Magnus had frankly skipped the tipsy stage to go straight to conveniently drunk. There was a pleasant buzz in his ears, from the chatter in his back of the people that had slowly started filling the bar as the afternoon advanced but also from the alcohol he had drank without much moderation, if any.

He had talked some more with Jace, but after a while, the bar had gotten too busy for him to keep the conversation going and Magnus hadn’t really complained, utterly content with drowning his sorrows in alcohol.

His afternoon had also been punctuated by the various newcomers coming to greet him, all gushing about “Annie’s son” and how wonderful his mother was despite her eccentricities and providing him with anecdotes he had neither asked for nor wanted to hear. It had been Annie here, Annie there, Annie, Annie, Annie, Annie… and Magnus was about to lose his mind.

After a while, he had stopped pretending to listen to them and just grunted in answer, slowly downing the bottle of whisky. No one had dared coming close to him apart from Jace after he finished his first bottle.

It was gone seven and he was just coming back from the bathroom - which was surprisingly clean -, walking - definitely not stumbling - back to his designated stool, when he caught sight of the veterinarian walking in.

Alec marched straight to the bar and took the stool right next to Magnus’ vacated one.

“Hey Jace,” he called out with an easy smile, because of course they knew each other since this whole town was just one big cult. “Get me a beer, please.”

Magnus tilted his chin up and went to sit back as gracefully as his current advanced state of inebriety allowed him.

“Alec,” Jace exclaimed with a grin, setting a beer bottle in front of him. “Have you met Magnus?”

There was a wicked edge to his smile and Magnus narrowed his eyes at him, feeling suddenly oddly betrayed. He resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at him, because he might have been completely hammered, but he was still a functioning adult. Or something close enough.

Alec darted his eyes to the side at Magnus and Magnus stared right back defiantly. He hadn’t noticed earlier in the practice the peculiar color of his eyes. If Jace’s eyes were something out of this world, Alec’s were somehow more entrancing, a light green flicker dancing in the deep brown reminiscing of the trees of the forest surrounding the city, shining under the bar’s artificial lights.

“Yeah, we’ve met,” he said with a conceited smirk. “How has your afternoon been, Your Highness? Our primitive land didn’t cause you any more trouble?”

“My afternoon was going perfectly until I saw your dumb face,” Magnus retorted, somewhat childishly, but the way Alec made his skin crawl and the amount of alcohol he had consumed didn’t help his brain provide a better repartee.

“Okay,” Jace drawled, dragging the vowels out. He curved an eyebrow, looking between the two of them with a probing expression.

“Jerk vet,” Magnus explained, pointing his thumb at Alec but pointedly refusing to meet his eyes.

“Thick-headed dog owner,” Alec chimed in, mimicking Magnus’ gesture and pointing at him.

“Oh,” Jace laughed, his eyes lighting up with understanding. “You’re the tick guy.”

“How was I supposed to know it was a tick?” Magnus exclaimed immediately, swirling around on his stool to face Alec, a stormy look on his face. It made his head spin a little.

Alec shrugged. “I didn’t say you should have known,” he replied with a mocking smirk. “I would have told you from the start if you hadn’t thrown all your countryside stereotypes to my face like some mighty hipster.”

“Hipster?” Magnus echoed bemusedly. “Hipster? Really?” 

Alec let his eyes rake over Magnus, from the heels of his Jimmy Choo boots to his skinny ripped jeans to his Yves Saint-Laurent shirt and lifted an eyebrow pointedly, as if that was enough of an answer.

Magnus narrowed his eyes at him. “Oh, pardon me,” he sputtered, throwing his arms in the air in exasperation. “Next time I’ll wear some welly boots, a plaid shirt and a hideous pair of blue jeans. Will that be rural enough for you or should I wear a cowboy hat as well?”

“You do that,” he retorted on the same angry tone. “And I’ll just spend my day being rude and impatient, crying out on every roof that New York is the best city in the world and looking down on everyone who’s from anywhere else.”

“I thought my dog was going to die!” Magnus all but yelled, pushing off his stool to stand right in front of Alec, pointing an accusing finger at his chest. “I had a shitty morning and I came back to the house to find my dog barely breathing. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings while I was completely panicking but my main priority wasn’t exactly to protect your disproportionated ego!”

Alec levelled him with an utterly unimpressed glare. “Yeah, I’m sure it’s a natural reaction in New York, but here, we just call it being rude.”

“Oh yeah, because you’re a fucking ray of sunshine yourself,” Magnus hissed and he grabbed the bottle on the counter by the neck, swaying a little on his feet as he fished a couple of bills from his pocket and slammed them on the bar.

He turned around only to realize the room had gone utterly silent and all those unfamiliar faces were staring at him.

“Yeah, I’m Annie’s son! Sorry to disappoint!” he yelled, before storming off as quickly as he could without stumbling over his feet, slamming the front door behind him.

Once he was outside, he took a deep breath and groaned in frustration, running a hand in his hair and tugging just a little to distract himself from the untamable rage that was boiling in his veins.

He walked past the entrance and wandered on the left side, leaning on the wall of the bar, seemingly hidden from the curious bypassers. The night had started to fall, or maybe it was just the heavy, grey clouds in the sky that gave this impression, but at least it allowed him to stay hidden, and it was the first good news he had had all day.

He rummaged in his pockets to find his phone, only to realize he couldn’t find it and he slammed his head against the wall with a pitiful whine, closing his eyes and cursing the entire population of this damned town. He bit on his bottom lip, urging himself not to cry.

“Hey,” came a soft, smoky voice in front of him and Magnus opened his eyes to see a voluptuous, brown-haired woman with a seductive smirk on her face.

Her eyes were a deep brown and they scanned Magnus up and down without an ounce of shame. Magnus shivered and he didn’t know if it was from the hungry glance in her eyes, from his remaining anger or from the alcohol running in his veins.

“That was hot,” she murmured as she stepped closer, sliding a finger down the exposed skin of his chest.

She was really beautiful and if she had found Magnus’ outburst as hot as she claimed she had, she was most certainly completely insane too, and Magnus had learned the hard way to avoid the insane ones. Camille had been enough insanity for the rest of his life.

Magnus usually stayed away from these people who were clearly looking for an unhealthy relationship.

Which was definitely why he blamed the whisky for the words that next came out of his mouth.

“Wanna fuck?”

And that was how he ended up making out with a complete stranger against the wall of the local pub in this new town he was going to live in for the next six months, if he survived that long.

Because the universe was decidedly against him today, she turned out to be a terrible kisser, sloppy and excessively eager. Her hands were all over him and Magnus’ skin felt hot but he knew it had all to do with the whisky and none with the effect she had on him, which was sadly nonexistent.

He let the torture go on for far longer than necessary but when her tongue caressed his palate and he actually felt the bile rise up his throat, he pushed her off him and stepped away to empty his stomach in the nearest bush.

When you hit rock bottom, there isn’t only one way and it isn’t up: you can also dig yourself a bigger hole, Magnus pondered to himself.

She let out a disgusted “ew” and Magnus could only agree, waving over his shoulder as she walked away from him, readjusting her tight dress - which was awful, now that he had actually looked at it.

He wiped his mouth and his tears-damped eyes and spat on the ground.

Magnus straightened up, cursing his entire existence, and staggered to the car, rummaging in his pockets to find his keys before he unlocked it and climbed inside to grab the bottle of water he had put there in the morning to rinse his mouth.

He was about to climb back behind the wheel when a strong grip on his arm stopped him and he swung around, his head spinning as he did.

He glanced up, the world swinging around him, only to meet a pair of what seemed to be concerned hazel eyes.

“You can’t drive,” Alec told him firmly, brow knitted together.

Magnus snatched his arm out of his grasp. “How is that any of your business?” he barked.

“You’re drunk and upset,” Alec insisted. “You could hurt someone, or yourself.”

“Yeah, well that’s what we do in New York,” Magnus hurled back. “We don’t give a shit about anyone else. Congratulations, Alec, you were right about me! I’m rude, selfish and brainless! Now, back the fuck off. My city boy habits could be contagious.”

Alec sighed and brought a hand up to rub at the nape of his neck, sending him a sheepish look.

“Look, I’m sorry,” he breathed out. “I-”

“Oh, shut up,” Magnus cut in and he tried to push him away but Alec barely budged because apparently, he was a freaking wall. “What is it? Did Jace guilt-trip you into apologizing to me? Well, save it. I’m not here to make friends anyway. I have friends in New York that are just as impatient and just as rude as me.”

“Magnus -”

“You know what?” Magnus shouted. “Fuck that. Fuck this town. Fuck you!” He looked up at the sky, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. “And fuck you, Mom! I hope you’re happy now!”

He climbed in the car without another word, ignoring the bewildered glances of Simon and Clary who had just arrived at the corner of the street together and had thus witnessed his outburst.

“Magnus?” Clary called out, and the worried edge to her voice actually made a single tear escape from his eyes.

He didn’t wait another second, starting up the car and slamming his foot on the pedal, taking off on the road.

Once he was alone in the car, he slammed his fist on the wheel with a frustrated cry.

He was certainly driving too fast and, objectively, he knew he shouldn’t have been driving but his brain was listening to no logic, blinded by the fury raging in his veins.

He made it right to the limit of the town and to the entrance of the forest before the car started coughing and slowing down until it came to a full stop, a wide cloud of smoke emerging from the engine.

“Oh, come on!” he yelled to everyone and no one at once. “Really?”

He tried to turn the key in the engine but it refused to start again and Magnus groaned in frustration, his whole body trembling with exhaustion and rage. He burst the door open and climbed out, only to turn back around and kick the car, swallowing a pained moan when his foot throbbed in retaliation.

He looked up at the sky again, taking in the heavy clouds that announced nothing good. It wasn’t like a bit of rain would make it much worst, he was already having the worst day of his life anyway.

“Yeah Mom, you’re right, I am  _ so _ happy here!” he shouted accusingly at the sky. “What the fuck did I ever do to you to deserve this?  _ You _ fucking left me behind to go live in this shithole!  _ You _ abandoned me!”

He choked on a sob and tried to control himself but it was too late. Tears started streaming down his cheeks freely and he was powerless to stop it, all energy drained off his body.

He let himself slide against the door, trembling with furious misery. He didn’t even as much as stirred when the first drop of rain fell from the sky, mixing with his tears.

He didn’t know how long he stayed there, but eventually, he rose back to his feet shakily. He didn’t even have the strength to cry anymore and he just wanted to get to a house that wasn’t his home, snuggle under a mountain of blankets and sleep for the next six months.

He opened the door, ready to get in when another car parked behind his own and he cursed.

“Of fucking course,” he murmured under his breath, slamming the door shut. “Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse.”

The police car switched off the revolving light and a female officer came out of it.

“Sir, step away from the car, please,” she demanded and Magnus obliged with a heavy sigh. “Did you drink?”

She came closer, studying him with preying eyes and Magnus knew there was no point in lying. He probably looked ready for Halloween in the middle of July.

“Yup,” he admitted. “About the volume of the Hudson River in whisky.”

She lifted an eyebrow. “And you took the car anyway?”

“Yeah, well I’ve been told there’s no subway around here,” Magnus retorted, because he had given up on trying to save this day.

She took another step closer and Magnus took the opportunity to take a look at her. The uniform didn’t flatter her curves but then again, they never did. She had big dark eyes circled by impossibly long eyelashes and hair just as dark that was tugged in a strict ponytail.

She was beautiful, and Magnus would have certainly flirted with her if he wasn’t feeling like he was about to collapse.

She squinted her eyes at him, studying him carefully.

“You’re the tick guy, aren’t you?”

Magnus heaved out a deep, defeated sigh.

“I don’t know what I hate the most: ‘tick guy’ or ‘Annie’s son’,” he muttered, and she frowned, perplexed.

Magnus walked to her, holding his wrists up. “Let’s go then,” he sighed, defeated.

He was never going to last six months.

.

Magnus was aware of three things as he blinked his eyes open, momentarily blinded by the morning lights peeking through the tiny window on the wall.

One, something had died in his mouth. He saw no other logical explanation for the awful taste that made him want to throw up.

Two, his head was throbbing to the point where he was pretty sure there were two plausible explanations, either someone was using a jackhammer somewhere near him, or it was purely and simply going to explode.

Three, he was in a jail cell. That wasn’t a first, if he was quite honest, but that didn’t make it less vexatious.

“Come on, Lady Gaga! Rise and shine!” a cheerful, singing voice called out and well,  _ that _ was a first.

“Let me die here,” Magnus grunted, bringing an arm over his eyes to protect himself from the outside world.

Yeah, he did recall singing a few Gaga songs at the top of his lungs to aggravate the policeman who had made fun of him when the officer who had arrested him had brought him in the night before. It was only fair.

It was the same officer standing in front of his cell right now.

“Come on, Luke bailed you out,” she exclaimed again, opening the door and walking over to shake Magnus’ shoulder gently.

“Yeah, I’m coming,” he growled and pushed on his hands to get up.

He swayed on his feet but she caught his elbow swiftly and waited until he had found his balance to let him go.

“Thanks,” he mumbled. “Sorry about last night.”

“That’s alright,” she replied, before lowering her voice confidentially, a mischievous smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. “You drove Jordan completely crazy with your singing so I can’t really be mad at you.”

Magnus chuckled, although it was mostly self-depreciative.

He felt like a child going to the principal’s office as they marched in the main entrance of the station and he caught sight of Luke pacing back and forth, arms crossed over his chest.

Luke met his gaze and his features relaxed immediately, relief soothing his scowl.

“Oh, Magnus,” he breathed out, in a sad voice that made Magnus’ heart clench in his chest.

He caught his reflection in one of the windows and he understood immediately the concern in Luke’s tone. He looked like he had been through hell and back, but certainly not unscattered.

His shirt was completely rumpled and his Jimmy Choo boots and the bottom of his skinny jeans were stained with mud, but that was nothing compared to his face. His makeup was ruined, black smears of eyeliner spreading under his eyes and over his cheeks. His hair was a mess, half flat from the position he had slept in and half flopping over his eyes.

Luke strode towards him and tugged him into his arms and Magnus all but melted into the embrace, burying his face in his neck.

“I’m not going to last six months,” he said in a shaky voice.

Luke rubbed his back soothingly. “You’ve only been there for two days,” he said. “It’ll get better, I promise.”

“I’m not her, Luke,” Magnus mumbled. “Everyone talked to me about her, telling me how great she was, anecdotes about her life here and I’m… I’m just not her. I  _ can’t _ be her.”

“No one is asking you to, Magnus,” Luke sighed, pulling back to look into his eyes, but Magnus darted his own away. “Magnus,” Luke murmured gently. “I promise no one is asking you to. We all loved your mother here, and people just want to love you as much as they loved her, but for different reasons, your  _ own _ reasons. And they talked to you about her because they wanted to share this, the memory they have of her, with you, but you don’t have to listen to it. If you’re not ready for that, just say so and they’ll respect it.”

Magnus hadn’t even tried that. They had all seemed so eager, so excited at the prospect of sharing their stories with him that he hadn’t even tried to ask them for time and space.

Then again, he had been drunk for most of the afternoon.

“Come on, it’s gonna be okay,” Luke murmured, wrapping an arm over his shoulders. He gave a smile at the officer who had arrested Magnus the night before. “Thanks, Isabelle.”

“No problem,” she replied with a smile. “He was quite entertaining, really. He’s a terrible singer but I actually enjoyed it… for reasons, you know. Professional ones.”

Magnus scoffed in disbelief, looking up just in time to catch her playful wink. “I’ll let you know next time I’m giving a show, darling,” he taunted, but he didn’t manage to bring it the flirtatious undertone he would normally use.

“I can’t drive you back home,” Luke said, and Magnus glanced back up at him, “and your car was towed to the garage downtown this morning, but I found someone who offered to give you a ride back to the pond.”

Magnus nodded and followed him out of the station before stopping dead on his tracks when he saw who was waiting in the black vintage Porsche there, fingers tapping on the wheel nervously.

“I'll call you later,” Luke said, squeezing his shoulder before letting go of him. “I have to run to my office now or I'll be late.”

“I'm not going anywhere with him,” Magnus hissed and walked away with decided steps, stomping on the sidewalk like it had personally offended him.

He heard Luke protest in his back, and another grave voice reply to him but he didn't turn around, nor did he slow down, no matter how painfully his head throbbed at every step.

He was tranquil for about fifty meters before he felt more than he saw the car following him on the road, slowly enough to match his pace.

“I'm sorry,” Alec called out, leaning over the passenger seat to talk to him. His hands were gripping the wheel firmly but his eyes were fixed on Magnus, although they darted every now and then to the road.

“Leave me alone,” Magnus exclaimed. “Why are you here anyway?”

“Because I wanted to apologize,” Alec said somewhat bashfully. “I acted like an ass to you and I'm really sorry.”

“Well, good for you,” Magnus retorted, his jaw set in a stubborn line. “I'd tell you where exactly you can shove your apology but I wouldn't want you to think I'm a rude New Yorker.”

“Come on,” Alec said. “Let me give you a ride at least. It's an hour walk to get back to the pond and you look exhausted.”

“Because I am!” Magnus snapped, halting abruptly to turn around and face him. “Yesterday was the worst day of my life and I'm not even exaggerating. It was. My dog got sick, the stupid vet was horrible to me, my mother basically dictated the next six months of my life from the grave, her car broke down on me and I spent the night in jail so pardon me for not looking fresh like a daisy!”

“That's not what I meant,” Alec sighed. “Let me make it up to you, okay? I'm sorry. I was unfair to you.”

“You were an asshole,” Magnus corrected and he started walking again.

Alec started up the car again, following him slowly. “I was an asshole,” he conceded. “Now please let me give you a ride.”

Magnus didn’t reply but kept striding forward, stubbornly ignoring the car and his driver.

“I’ve got your phone,” Alec said, “and you’re gonna ruin your shoes even more.”

Magnus heaved out a deep breath and an annoyed grunt but eventually stopped again, looking down at his ruined Jimmy Choo’s dejectedly before swirling around. He opened the passenger door and got in, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Fine,” he grumbled. “Now shut up and drive.”

Alec nodded and handed over Magnus’ phone, who snatched it out of his hands.

“Some Catarina called you about ten times.”

Magnus didn’t reply and made a mental note to call her as soon as he had taken a shower and slept until midday.

“Look, Magnus, I’m really sorry, okay?” Alec sighed. “You just burst into my practice with your fancy clothes and started throwing all those countryside clichés to my face and acting superior and -”

“You do realize this is the worst apology of the history of apologies, right?” Magnus cut in, deadpan. “You’re just insulting me again.”

“Damn it,” Alec muttered under his breath, brow furrowed in frustration. His grip on the wheel tightened slightly.

He was about to talk again but Magnus didn’t let him, too tired to hear it. “How are my dogs?”

Alec blinked, surprised to be interrupted yet again and his jaw flexed faintly with irritation.

“They’re okay. Jimmy is much better. I’m just going to vaccinate them both when I get back to work and I’ll keep them for the day to make sure everything goes well. I can drop them off tonight when I’m done since you don’t have a car to pick them up.”

Magnus hummed in agreement, not bothering to hold back a relieved sigh as his mother’s house finally appeared at the end of the road. Alec’s phone, which was laying in the small box next to the gear shift, beeped twice and Magnus, out of curiosity more than real interest, looked down. He read the text before he could truly stop himself and scoffed in disbelief.

Alec pulled over in front of the garage and turned to face him, his hands still firmly hooked on the wheel.

“Magnus, I-”

“If you apologize again, I’m going to punch you,” Magnus snapped. “You don’t mean it, so save your breath for someone who’s interested.”

And he climbed out of the car, slamming the door shut behind him.

“How the hell would you know if I mean it or not?” Alec called out, sliding his head by the car window.

Magnus whirled around but didn’t stop moving, continuing his way to the front door backwards.

“Jace sent you a text,” he replied heatedly, sending him a pointed glare. “Apparently, I’m a ‘decent’ guy so you should ‘suck it up’ and apologize to me because our fight made Clary ‘upset’.”

“You’re a fucking pain in the ass, you know that, right?” Alec exclaimed. “I’m trying to apologize to you. Who cares if I’m not completely honest?”

Magnus blew him a kiss and showed him his middle finger before turning around to take the steps up to the front door two at a time. He was fully intent on slamming the door shut behind him to make a statement but he stopped dead on his tracks when he reached the porch.

There was a paper bag on the floor, and several dishes scattered around with diverse notes. He picked up the paper bag first. The note was scribbled in a crabbed handwriting and Magnus had to squint his eyes to read it, but when he did, it made a fluttering feeling bubble in his chest.

_ Almond croissants for you! I heard you had a bad day yesterday, I hope these bring you some comfort. Simon. _

Magnus smiled in spite of his best judgment and kneeled to get to the other dishes. They were various pies and some sandwiches, all with little notes that either welcomed him in the town or wished him to feel better soon, as if he had been sick the night before instead of hammered. 

He startled when someone cleared his throat above him, glancing up to send a murderous glare to Alec.

“What?” he growled.

Alec dropped the wicker basket he was carrying on the floor next to Magnus with a frown. “You had this in your car last night, Luke got it back from the garage.”

“Yeah,” Magnus said, scrunching his nose up as his head throbbed again.

“You know, they’re just trying to be nice and to make you feel welcome here,” Alec said and again, his tone was annoyingly patronizing. “I know they can be invasive, but they mean well. They’re good people.” He paused, his brow knitting together. “You would see it too if you just gave them a chance.”

He walked away without another word and Magnus sighed, guilt swelling up in his chest. He had yelled in the middle of Java Jace at people who had been nothing but friendly to him. Yes, it had all seemed too much, and he had been overwhelmed by all this attention that he usually thrived on but somehow despised when it came from the people of this town, but, as much as it pained him to admit it, Alec was right: they had tried to make him feel welcome in their own clumsy, awkward, overwhelming way.

Magnus rose back to his feet and opened the front door. Once he had cleaned up the porch and put everything in the kitchen - most of the dishes went to the freezer, because there was no way he would eat all of that on his own - he went upstairs to run himself a bath. He removed the mess his makeup had made of his face and grabbed his phone to facetime Catarina, stripping and sliding in the bath as it rang.

“Magnus!” she cried out as soon as she picked up the phone. She seemed a bit out of breath, like she had ran to reply. “We were so worried!”

“Cat,” Magnus breathed out in a whisper, and he hated how miserable he sounded. “Yesterday was the worst day of my life.”

“Worse than the day your mother left?” she asked in a gentle, caring tone.

“Worse than the day she left and the Camille breakup combined.”

“Oh, honey,” Catarina muttered sympathetically.

Magnus let himself relax in the bath, and started talking.

.

When he got out of the bath, after venting for an hour and falling asleep for another hour, the water was cold, but the summer heat that had slowly settled outside and he picked a light outfit and went to sit outside with his laptop, a glass of homemade lemonade and a piece of blueberry pie someone had left on his porch in the morning.

He started working on the freelance article he had due for the following week, immersing himself fully in the assignment. It was a good distraction and soon enough, he had pushed the memories of the day before in a corner of his brain, forgetting all about his previous qualms.

He was proofreading the article one last time when the doorbell rang. He swallowed back a groan. Invasive seemed to be an understatement when it came to the people of this town. He didn’t get up, slouching further into his chair. If they were here to drop another pie, they could leave it on the porch and he would get it later. He wasn’t in the mood for socializing.

He set his laptop on the ground beside his chair and spread his legs on the railings, closing his eyes to savour the afternoon sun beating on his skin, relaxing slowly.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard someone clear their throat and almost fell of the chair, setting his feet firmly on the ground right before he completely lost his balance.

There was a man standing behind the railing, in a grey three-pieces suit accessorized with a hideous blue tie that Magnus was tempted to rip off him to throw in the pond. His eyes were dark and the scruff on his face made them all the more somber, despite his bald head.

“Hi,” he said in a voice that was all business. “I’m Robert Lightwood. Are you Magnus Bane?”

Magnus straightened up on his chair. The name sounded familiar, but he couldn’t quite pinpoint why.

“Are you bringing another pie?” he asked. “Look, it’s really nice of you but my freezer is pretty much full now and -”

“I’m not bringing a pie,” the man said, his lips pulled into a thin line. “I’m a real estate agent, I’d like to talk to you about the house.” He gestured vaguely behind Magnus.

“Oh. Let me make some coffee.”

Robert nodded sternly and looked from one side to another, seemingly searching for something to do with him.

“Please sit down,” Magnus said, and he walked inside.

He put the coffee machine on and leaned against the counter to glance by the window at the porch. Robert had sat on a free chair, his back a straight line, his hands resting on his knees but he looked fierce, like he was preparing himself for a fight, his upper lip twitching a little.

Magnus frowned as he set two mugs, sugar, milk and the coffee pot on a tray, wondering what exactly his deal was. He hesitated for a moment before adding two plates of blueberry pie and walked back to the porch.

“So,” he said, gesturing for Robert to help himself, “how can I help you?”

“Actually, I think it’s the other way around. I think I could help you.”

Magnus lifted an eyebrow, looking at him from behind his mug of coffee.

“As I said, I’m a real estate agent,” Robert stated gravely, “and I’d like to buy your house.”

“It’s not my house,” Magnus corrected. “It’s my mother’s house.”

“Yeah, but surely it is going to be yours soon since she unfortunately passed away,” Robert replied.

Magnus clenched his teeth. There was something about the way he said it, in an impassible, unemotional tone that contrasted drastically with the heartfelt condolences he had been offered in the last couple of days. Magnus was struck with the realization that after all, perhaps not everyone in this town had been so fond of his mother, and somehow, the knowledge made him feel better, like it validated his buried bitterness. That was until guilt took over again, so sudden and brutal that he immediately snapped out of it.

“Yes, I suppose,” Magnus replied, when Robert leaned forward slightly, apparently concerned by his silence.

“Well, I’d like to buy it,” he repeated, reaching down to grab his briefcase and he fished out a business card which he handed over.

Magnus put down his mug to grab it, but didn’t read it.

“I’ll give you the best price on the market for it,” Robert went on. “That is considering all the renovation works that has to be done, of course and -”

“Look, Mr. Lightwood, this is great and all,” Magnus cut in, “but I won’t be able to sell it for at least six months.”

“Why not?” Robert asked, his brow knitted together in what seemed to be genuine curiosity.

“My mother’s will,” Magnus admitted and the mere memory of her condition made his stomach lurch. Or maybe it was the aftermath of the whisky, he wasn’t sure. “I will inherit provided that I live in this house for six months.”

“Oh,” was the only answer he got.

“Yeah,” Magnus sighed. “She was a bit… quirky and she was persuaded that I would fall in love with the town and never want to leave again.”

“Oh,” Robert said again, but his tone shifted slightly. He cleared his throat and rose to his feet, smoothing the wrinkles of his tailored pants. “Well, think about it and if you’re interested in selling it to me, we can start the paperwork so it’ll already be ready to sign in six months.”

Magnus hummed pensively, twirling the card between his fingers absently.

“Goodbye, Mr. Bane.”

“Goodbye, Mr. Lightwood,” Magnus said, shaking the outstretched hand.

Robert nodded politely and disappeared by the same path he had taken to circle the house and find Magnus on the back porch.

Magnus looked down at the business card in his hand.

“Six months,” he murmured to himself. “Six months. I can do this.”

.

Magnus spent the afternoon finally emptying his luggage and settling his clothes in the closet of the guest room, which was mostly empty, apart from the infamous Stradivarius his mother had donated to Ragnor in her will and a bunch of old shirts that were now as good as rag.

He put them all in a bin bag and took the stairs down to throw it in the trash can in front of the house just as another car arrived in the driveway, an old red Jeep that looked like it was going to crumble at the slightest blow.

He watched, body frozen in surprise, as Clary leaped down the passenger side while Simon, who was driving, hopped down on the other side. She all but bounced her way to him, a wide grin on her face. Perhaps it was because he had slept, perhaps it was his talk with Catarina, perhaps it was that he finally had had some time to himself, or the prospect of having someone to sell the house to, but he found that he didn’t have to force himself to smile back.

She tugged him into a hug and he smiled into the embrace.

“Are you feeling better?” she asked when she pulled back, eyes full of concern.

Magnus nodded, sending her a reassuring smile, and his eyes darted to the side to see Simon approaching.

“Hello, Sam. Thanks for the almond croissants.”

“It’s Simon,” he said with a frown. “You keep getting it wrong.”

“Do I?” Magnus retorted with a smirk, before turning back to Clary. “What brings you here, biscuit?”

Clary sent him a surprised glance. “You invited me over for dinner. I brought Simon with me, I hope you don’t mind,” she said and Magnus cursed inwardly.

“Oh, shit.”

Or outwardly, since he apparently was a terrible person.

“Do you mind?” Simon chimed in, eyes blown in horror. “I can go. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude.”

“No, no, stay here, Sam. I’m so sorry, biscuit,” he stressed, focusing back on Clary. “I completely forgot.”

“Oh,” Clary said and she sounded so disappointed that he pondered on just digging a hole in the garden and burying himself alive. “Another time then.”

“No, stay,” Magnus exclaimed, and he didn’t even wince at the eagerness of his own tone. “I’ve got like twenty pies and some pork sandwiches and just so much food I wouldn’t know what to do with it. I’m sorry I forgot but come on, stay. I’ve got enough to feed an army.”

Clary and Simon shared a hesitant gaze and seemed to have a telepathic conversation for a couple of minutes before she nodded, beaming at him.

“Great!” she exclaimed. 

Her smile was so wide and so bright that he instantaneously felt a bit better.

.

They had settled on the back porch, which was slowly turning into his favorite spot of the house. The view of the pond was breathtaking, especially at this time of the evening, when the sun was slowly beginning to set, flooding the sky with an array of pink, orange and yellow, the moon peeking from behind the clouds.

They had eaten half of the sandwiches and an entire pie - mostly thanks to Simon - and Magnus was finally enjoying himself. Simon still talked too much, but his constant blabbering wasn’t half as annoying in the evening as it had been at seven in the morning, and he still left room for the others to speak up whenever they wanted to.

He was relaxing on his chair, sipping a glass of lemonade - it was divine, and Magnus would have to go find this Mrs. Lovelace at some point to let her know and thank her - when a clear bark caught his attention. He immediately straightened up on his seat and he barely had the time to hop down the steps that led on the path towards the pond that he saw Alec appear at the corner of the house.

Most importantly, he caught sight of the two furry balls running towards him and a wide grin broke on his face.

“My babies!” he exclaimed and he kneeled down to greet them as Bark Jacobs and Jimmy Chew ran to meet him, barking happily.

He laughed when BJ licked at his hand excitedly and cradled Jimmy Chew in his arms, pressing a kiss on his head, relief pouring through him in overwhelming waves that almost brought tears of joy to his eyes.

Magnus startled slightly when he realized another dog had joined them, an adult mutt who was looking at him with expectant eyes, ginger reflecting in his brown fur with the evening lights, his tongue poking out of his mouth as he breathed heavily with excitement.

Magnus chuckled and reached out to stroke his head. The dog’s tail immediately started wiggling in enthusiasm.

“Why, hello darling,” he cooed, a bit overwhelmed by the assaults he was dealing with from the three dogs. “You’re not mine.”

“He’s mine,” Alec told him from when he was watching the scene, his arms crossed over his chest and surprisingly, Magnus didn’t find the dog any less cute despite his owner.

“Hey, Alec,” Simon called out, waving from the porch.

“Hey, Si.” Alec smiled somehow bashfully and Magnus felt a wicked sense of satisfaction when he hesitated to step closer to greet his friend - or brother, since Magnus was still doubting they weren’t all part of a cult.

Magnus eventually managed to get back to his feet and got back to the porch, leaving the dogs to gambol around, running after each other and rolling around in the grass quite happily.

Alec was leaning against the railing, chatting with Simon and Clary, like he hadn’t quite dared to go all the way and step on the porch. Magnus smirked and took the steps to join his improvised guests.

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” Alec was saying to Simon. “Stop nagging me about it.”

“Magnus!” Simon exclaimed when he joined them, beaming at him. “I forgot to tell you! My band is playing at Java Jace at the end of the month, do you wanna come?”

It all seemed very high-schooly to him, but Magnus did his best to conceal his suspicions. He wouldn’t be the one to destroy the hope in Simon’s puppy eyes.

“Sure,” he said with a shrug.

Alec snorted next to him and Magnus’ head jerked to the side to throw him a murderous glare.

“What?”

“Try not to aggress the whole bar this time,” he sneered, a taunting smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

“I’m actually quite civil when I’m not faced with insulting prats,” Magnus snapped back.

It was insane, how quickly Alec managed to make his blood boil. Magnus had already been an impulsive person, easily dictated by his emotions, but he had never known anyone who could aggravate him so effortlessly.

“Or when you’re not drinking Jace’s entire supply of whisky and then taking your car to drive,” Alec retorted flatly.

“Pretty sure that’s none of your concern, darling,” Magnus said wryly.

Alec chuckled, but it lacked all trace of humor. “You were also very civil this morning when you didn’t thank me for giving you a ride back.”

“You did it because you felt obligated to do it!” Magnus shouted, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

“I didn’t!” Alec yelled back. “I was trying to apologize, you moron!”

“Alec!” Clary exclaimed disapprovingly, but Magnus barely heard her.

“I saw Jace’s text, you asshole!” he roared.

“Magnus!” Clary yelped, reproachful.

“Yeah, maybe he forced me a little,” Alec admitted, although his voice didn’t lower. “That doesn’t mean I wasn’t genuinely sorry! It might have been a shitty apology but at least I did apologize and that’s already more than you can say!”

“Why would I apologize?” Magnus cried out in disbelief, his mouth dropping open in shock.

“Really?” Alec replied on the same tone, casting an incredulous at Simon and Clary before he focused back on Magnus. “ _ Really _ ?”

“Yes, really!”

“You called me an ass twice in the spur of ten minutes after we met and then went on to insult this town when everyone has only been trying to help you ever since your royal ass landed here,” Alec barked right back. “You looked down on me because you assume we’re all uncultured, ignorant cavemen because we don’t come from the city!”

There was a long silence following his outburst, only broken by Alec’s heavy breathing and the sound of cheerful barking in the distance, the dogs having moved to the other side of the house.

Magnus stared at him for a long time, taking in his hazel eyes shining with anger, his defensive posture, his balled fists, his irritated frown.

“Oh,” he breathed out after a while, replaying in his head his visit to the practice the day before. “I did all that, didn’t I?”

“Yes,” Alec said and blew out a deep sigh, but he didn’t avert his eyes away. “Yes, you did.”

“So basically, you were both rude asses,” Simon butted in boldly, crossing his arms over his chest, levelling them both with an oddly measured look. “You both acted like children and snapped at each other’s throat instead of dealing with your shit like adults. Now I see two options here: either you both apologize to the other - and properly, this time -” he added before Alec could protest, “or you blow off some steam and go have hate sex somewhere. Consensual, of course. And with protections.”

“Please,” Magnus snorted, pointing a finger at Alec. “I don’t do straight men.”

Another long silence followed his - dramatic, he would admit that much - declaration. And then, Clary giggled, a light, clear sound that cut through the tension like a long awaited release. Next to her, Simon at least had the decency of stifling his laughter by biting on his bottom lip.

“What?” Magnus said, turning a bewildered gaze to Alec, who was rolling his eyes. “What's going on?”

“I'm gay,” Alec stated simply, like it was the most evident thing in the world.

Magnus’ mouth dropped open and for an embarrassingly long moment, he just stared at Alec, blinking.

“B-But you went all ‘no homo’ on me,” he eventually stammered, a hint accusingly.

Alec frowned. “I didn't go ‘no homo’ on you. Believe it or not, not everyone is attracted to you.”

Magnus would have gasped at the affront if he hadn't been stuck in a state of shock.

“And what are you even talking about?” Alec went on, lifting an eyebrow. “You're the straight one.”

Of all the things Alec had called him since they had met each other, this was probably the most insulting one.

This time, he couldn't hold back an offended gasp. “No, I'm not!”

“You made out with Sarah last night,” Alec retorted with a pointed look. “Unless you were too drunk to realize what you were doing, that doesn't scream gay.”

“That's because I'm bisexual,” Magnus countered flatly.

“Oh,” Alec replied, his eyes lighting up with realization. “That makes sense.”

Another silence filled the air, this one devoid of tension but heavy with reflection as everything dawned on them.

“And who the fuck is Sarah?” Magnus blurted out, and Clary burst into laughter, leaning against Simon for support.

Alec sent him an incredulous look. “The girl you were sucking face with last night? Before you apparently threw up on her shoes or something?”

Magnus frowned, turning his brain upside down to try and collect his memories of the night before and then, it came back to him. Last night, Java Jace, a voluptuous brunette who had turned out to be a terrible kisser.

“Her shoes were horrible anyway,” he retorted in a lame attempt at saving face.

“How did you manage to pay attention to her shoes while you were making out with her?” Simon asked, not unkindly.

Magnus lifted an eyebrow, turning to face him. “Darling, I’m a fashion blogger. It’s my job.”

“To criticize people’s shoes?” Alec butted in, hands over his hips.

“To pay attention to details,” he corrected.

Alec scoffed, rolling his eyes and Magnus gritted his teeth, narrowing his eyes and pointing an accusatory finger at him.

“What is that supposed to mean?” he hissed.

Next to them, Simon heaved out a deep sigh. “It was almost going well.”

“You got all offended yesterday but you’re kind of a hipster, you know?” Alec snorted. “You’re a fashion blogger.” The way he said the words, with an extra emphasis that was clearly meant to be mocking made Magnus’ skin crawl and he walked down the steps to face him, staring right back at him defiantly. “Is that even a job or did you make it up?”

“It’s actually a proper job that allows me to earn twenty grands a month, darling,” he gritted out, seething. “What about you? Did Mommy and Daddy buy you that fancy Porsche of yours because you threw a tantrum?”

Magnus heard more than he saw Clary and Simon wince next to them, but he was too busy holding Alec’s thunderous gaze with fierce obstinacy to pay them much mind.

“You have no fucking clue what you’re talking about,” Alec growled, take a challenging step forward. “So you better shut up before I lose what patience I have left.”

Magnus crossed his arms over his chest, lifting an insolent eyebrow. “And then what?”

He was standing close enough to see Alec’s jaw flex with anger, lips pursed into a tight line, his hazel eyes shining with undisguised wrath.

Eventually, though, he just shook his head and took a step back. Magnus didn’t move, staring at him with the same fierceness.

Alec ignored him, darting his eyes away as he brought two fingers to his mouth, whistling so loudly that Magnus almost startled. Barely a minute later, the mutt was racing their way, Bark Jacobs and Jimmy Chew on his trail.

“Come on Buck,” Alec said, reaching down to fondle the dog’s head. “We’re going home before I kill the neighbor.”

“Buck?” Magnus echoed with a snort. “You threw me  _ that _ look when I told you my dogs’ names and you gave your dog a pornstar name?”

Alec froze, his shoulders a perfect line of tension and he balled his fists at his side, turning around to face Magnus, his eyes burning with pure fury.

“No,” he said in a deadly calm, monotone voice that was somehow far more terrifying that his previous yelling. “You leave my family  _ and _ my dog out of this. Your problem is with me.”

“Because  _ you _ made it that way!” Magnus exclaimed accusingly.

“Because  _ you _ are insufferable!”

“You’re an asshole!”

“And you’re a prick!” Alec retorted, before storming off, his dog trotting after him, barking in concern.

Magnus grunted in exasperation, throwing his arms up in the air and swirled around to face Clary and Simon, who were staring at him bemusedly, lips parted in shock.

“Dude,” Simon breathed out in astonishment, and promptly shut his mouth.

“I fucking hate him,” Magnus shouted dramatically, before slouching on a chair next to them, still fuming.

“What just happened?” Clary asked bewilderedly.

“ _ He _ happened,” Magnus snapped, pointing where Alec had been standing moments ago. “He’s an arrogant asshole who’s been nothing but insulting to me since we met.”

“But it’s Alec,” Simon mumbled.

It seemed like a proper explanation to him, but Magnus just gave him a dubious look, shrugging.

“So?”

“I’ve never seen Alec like that,” Clary said softly. “He’s always so calm and collected. He never argues with anyone.”

Magnus laughed a scornful laugh. “Yeah, sure.”

Clary opened her mouth to protest but seemed to think better of it and closed it again. Magnus’ attention was averted by a very eager puppy at his feet demanding petting and he focused his whole attention on Jimmy Chew, pushing away all thoughts of unbearable veterinarians.

.

“I’m sure you’re exaggerating. You tend to be overly dramatic.”

“Well, not this time,” Magnus grumbled as he finished setting the plates in the dishwasher. “I hate this town and I hate him and I want to go home and eat junk food and get trashed at Pandemonium and bring some stranger back to my apartment and regret it the next day. That’s how I like my life! Not this-” He slammed a plate in the dishwasher with far more strength than strictly necessary, “- this nightmare of a town. I swear, Raphael, it’s a cult!”

“It’s not a cult, Magnus,” Raphael said and although he couldn’t see this face, Magnus could picture him rolling his eyes. “It’s a small town.”

“Same difference,” Magnus replied stubbornly.

Magnus closed the dishwasher and headed to the kettle to put it on, before rummaging in the cupboards to find tea. His mother used to drink crazy amounts of tea, he was sure he would find some.

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m going to send you a picture of my freezer when we hang up and you’ll see,” Magnus retorted, squeezing the phone between his cheek and his shoulder as he used both hands to look everywhere. “It’s full of pies. They made me pies, Raphael! And muffins!  _ For free _ !”

“Oh, I’m sorry, that does sound terrible,” he deadpanned.

“Haha!” Magnus exclaimed cheerfully when he finally found the tea. It was in one of the higher cupboards and he had to rise on his tiptoes to grab the box. He couldn’t help but wonder how his mother, who had been much smaller than him, was able to grab it without using a ladder.

“What? Did you have an epiphany? Did you finally figure out how to button your shirts all the way to the top?”

Magnus rolled his eyes, turning the lid to open the box, a divine smell of spices invading his nostrils. “No, I found the -”

He froze, his eyes fixed inside the box.

“Magnus?” Raphael called out. “Magnus? You there?”

“-tea,” he finished in a whisper. “There’s a letter.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“In the tea box, there’s a letter. With my name on it. In my mother’s handwriting.”

And there is was indeed, neatly folded to fit against the wall of the box, on a light green envelope, his name written in neat, cursive letters, the S at the end ending in a characteristic loop he would have recognized anywhere.

“Shit,” Raphael murmured. “Are you okay?”

“Why is there a letter in my mother’s tea box with my name on it in her handwriting?”

“There’s only one way to find out,” Raphael told him wisely, although there was a reassuring edge to his tone that Magnus made sure not to mention.

Magnus nodded, forgetting for an instant that Raphael couldn’t see him and drew the envelope out of the box with trembling fingers. He put the phone down and turned on the speaker mode, staring down at the piece of paper. It was ridiculous, how such a simple, little thing felt more intimidating than a knife in his hands.

“I can’t do it,” he breathed out shakily, shutting his eyes, unable to look at the lean curves that formed his name anymore. “I can’t open it.”

“You can,” Raphael assured him.

“What if it’s just her telling me how terrible I was for not visiting enough?” he mused out loud, a lump forming in his throat at the words. “What if she tells me that she didn’t tell me about her cancer because of that? Because I was a terrible son who never called her unless she called first?”

“Magnus, don’t be ridiculous,” Raphael said, uncharacteristically gentle.

“Oh God, what if she’s asking me to stay here for  _ a whole year _ ?” Magnus stressed.

“Just open it, for goodness sake,” Raphael grumbled. “It can’t be that bad.”

“Yeah,” Magnus sighed. “Yeah. Okay.”

He took a deep breath, opening the envelope with trembling fingers. He unfolded the letter carefully, measuring every movement of his fingers in fear he would end up tearing the paper and damage something so precious, something his mother had left behind for him.  _ To him _ .

It took all the courage he could muster and more to let his eyes skim on the words.

“Best tea I ever had in my life,” he read out loud, throat tight with unshed tears. “I don’t know where it’s from, Elaine and her son Simon always got it for me. Ask them if you want more of it. I know you’re usually a coffee person but give this tea a chance, Magnus. Love you, Mom.”

He stared bewilderedly at the words for a while, reading them over and over again, trying to find a meaning hidden between the lines, but there was nothing else.

“See?” Raphael said. “It wasn’t so bad.”

Magnus didn’t reply for a long time, his mind swirling with the words, memorizing them all and storing them in the part of his mind that was still grieving for his lost mother.

“No,” he whispered. “It wasn’t so bad.”

It was ridiculous and quirky, like his mother had been, but it wasn’t bad. It was warm, and loving, and kind, like his mother had been when he still knew her better than the people of this town.

Perhaps things weren’t as bad as they seemed, Magnus pondered to himself.

Things were never as bad as they seemed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on tumblr [@lecrit](http://lecrit.tumblr.com/) and on twitter [@_L_ecrit](https://twitter.com/_L_ecrit) ❤
> 
>  
> 
> Here's a cookie baked by Simon specially for you:  
>  _“I am going to murder you,” he sneered._  
>  _“That’s illegal, darling,” Magnus taunted. “Your sister is a cop, you should know that.”_  
>  _“Drop the fucking act,” Alec hissed and his eyes were burning, boring straight into Magnus’. “I’m not fooled.”_  
>  _Magnus lifted an eyebrow, genuinely confused. “What act?”_  
>  _“You act all superior and you arrive in this town and you charm your way around when really, you’re not half as good as you pretend to be,” Alec said, cold and ruthless._
> 
>  
> 
> I'll post another one sometime next week on tumblr and twitter ;).
> 
> See you next week, cupcakes!
> 
> All the love,  
> Lu.


	2. War and Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He missed the thrilling rhythm of New York, of getting out at any hour of the day or the night and find a place open where he could wander and clear out his head. He missed the constant clamor that carried him through the late nights he sometimes spent writing an article. He missed the rudeness of people bumping into him in the subway and asking him to apologize like he had offended them. Most of all, he missed people minding their own business and not giving a damn if he came home crawling on his hands and knees because he had drunk too much. He missed the easy, meaningless sex, too.
> 
> Nashville was quiet and peaceful, and Magnus had never looked for peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello cupcakes,
> 
> First of all, thank you so, _so_ much for the overwhelming response. You have no idea how important your support is to me. ❤  
>  Also, check out [this amazeball gifset](http://sunstilinski.tumblr.com/post/151895364385/bright-lights-small-town-by-lecrit-lecrit) of the first part of this fic by tumblr user sunstilinski. I'm :').  
> Finally, Magnus and Alec are both little shits. Fair warning.
> 
> I love you all. Don't you forget it.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Ps: Don't forget to use the #lecrit hashtag or to tag [me](https://twitter.com/_L_ecrit) if you're live-tweeting so I can track it because it's my favorite thing :').

******"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape."**

****\- Charles Dickens** **

 

/

The rest of Magnus’ first two weeks in Nashville went by more easily.

The fact that Simon kept waking him up at unholy hours of the morning for breakfast aside, it was mostly trouble-free, which had probably much to do with him not running into his asshat of a neighbor again. He had actually seen Alec, who went for a run by the pond every morning at the same time he was dragged out of bed by Simon but they hadn’t talked, which meant they hadn’t argued, which meant Magnus hadn’t had an argument with anyone for two weeks.

The summer days were being clement enough that they could easily eat on the porch, no matter how early it was and Magnus had mostly taken residence there. There was a voice at the back of his head telling him he avoided the house because it was still too impregnated with his mother’s presence but he had now mastered the art of ignoring it.

He saw Clary a few times, even went to visit her at the art gallery she ran with Jocelyn downtown. She introduced - or more accurately reintroduced - him to Jace, who was apparently her fiancé and, as he learned, Alec’s brother. They were getting married in November, which seemed to him like an odd choice when the summer would have allowed an outstanding outdoor wedding, but after seeing the excitement in both their gazes, he figured the time and place didn’t really matter when you had the right person by your side.

He also visited the bakery a couple of times and had left each time with arms full of pastries, to the point where he had to wonder how Elaine managed to keep it going if she was willing to give her leftovers away so easily. When he told her about the tea, she promised him to get him some as soon as possible, even though he hadn’t asked, and Simon had delivered it three days later with his daily breakfast - which, fortunately, he was exempt from in the weekend, because weekends were sacred even in a town as weird as Nashville was.

Jimmy Chew and Bark Jacobs had settled to the life in the countryside brilliantly, unlike Magnus who was still regularly cursing the slow Internet connection, the constant mud on his shoes and the lack of a nightlife that didn’t consist of getting a drink at Java Jace and go home around midnight without a chance of finding an open club to finish the night.

He missed the thrilling rhythm of New York, of getting out at any hour of the day or the night and find a place open where he could wander and clear out his head. He missed the constant clamor that carried him through the late nights he sometimes spent writing an article. He missed the rudeness of people bumping into him in the subway and asking him to apologize like he had offended them. Most of all, he missed people minding their own business and not giving a damn if he came home crawling on his hands and knees because he had drunk too much. He missed the easy, meaningless sex, too.

Nashville was quiet and peaceful, and Magnus had never looked for peace.

The only distractions of the city were the art scene, which was admittedly blossoming thanks to the high amount of artists who had found a sanctuary here, and the tourists who stayed temporarily in the town on their way to the state park. It brought some animation to the town, although it was nowhere near New York’s level.

People were actually nice to tourists here. They stopped in the street to help them around if they were lost. Magnus had no clue why.

Yet, he was starting to warm up a little to the place, or at least to its inhabitants, because he hadn’t explored that much of the town. He still wasn’t entirely sure he hadn’t stumbled into a cult, whose guru was some excessively kind version of Santa Claus, but dressed in plaid.

What was it with the people here and plaid? And he was the one being called a hipster… At least, he felt better knowing that he could rock a plaid shirt like no one else.

The last weekend of July, though, brought at least some alleviation to his nightmare, in the form of a brooding, grumpy, Latino best friend of his, who also looked incredibly… sweaty. Which might have had to do with the three bags he was carrying in addition to his own luggage.

“I swear to God, I hate you,” Raphael said when he joined Magnus in front of the arrival gates of Indianapolis Airport. “Why do you need so many clothes? Why do you  _ own _ so many clothes? You’re not the freaking Queen of England.”

“I would have made a fabulous queen,” Magnus retorted with a smirk, relieving him from two of the bags. “I’ve even mastered the wave,” he added, waving at the people waiting in the area. They gave him dubious looks, but some of them waved back.

“Did they just wave back at you?” Raphael asked incredulously.

“See?” Magnus exclaimed, stopping abruptly on his way to the parking lot to face him. “Raphael, people do that here. They acknowledge your existence. They are  _ polite _ .”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Raphael rolled his eyes and nudged him with one of the bags to force him to move again.

Magnus snorted, holding the door open for him as they walked out of the airport. “Yes, darling,” he taunted, a devilish smirk tugging at his lips. “Remember what you just said. Remember it well so I can throw it back to your face later.”

Raphael frowned but didn’t reply, setting the bags in the trunk of Luke’s car, who had graciously lended it to Magnus while his mother’s car was in the garage, since the mechanic was clearly in no rush to fix it.

.

It took exactly three hours for his predictions to come true.

After driving back to Nashville, Raphael had settled in the guest room while telling Magnus, who had been laying sideway on the bed, about the latest gossips. Raphael might have held an incredibly bored demeanor for as long as Magnus had known him, he was also somehow always aware of every piece of gossip that concerned everyone they knew one way or another. It was mostly because he liked making snarky comments about their lives, but Magnus had always loved it because Grumpy Cat Raphael was hilarious, not that he would ever admit it out loud. Raphael had then proceeded to ignore him for half an hour while he was reacquainted with Jimmy Chew and Bark Jacobs, who were impossibly excited at the sight of a familiar face. After that, he had taken him for a quick tour of the town and they had ended up in Java Jace.

It was the night of Simon’s band’s gig and Magnus had promised him he would be there even though his friend was visiting, so there he was.

The bar was already quite packed when they walked in but Magnus wasn’t really surprised. Java Jace was popular in every age groups in the town and every time Magnus had been there - it hadn’t been too many times, because his first experience here had been mortifying enough that he still avoided it in the rush hours - the place had been quite busy, a living, buzzing haven where the atmosphere was always warm and friendly, when there wasn’t a drunkard to ruin it.

They had barely stepped one foot inside that Simon was in front of them, looking equally excited and nervous.

“Magnus!” he exclaimed, and pulled him into a hug without a warning.

In two weeks, Magnus had had the time to get used to this weird habit that the people of this town seemed to have to ignore all concept of personal space.

“Hi! You must be Raphael!” Simon went on when he pulled back from Magnus, and promptly pulled a mortified Raphael into his arms, patting his back twice before he let him go. “Welcome to Nashville!”

Raphael turned wide eyes to Magnus, his lips parted in shock. “He hugged me.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing, darling,” Magnus retorted with a sly grin, throwing him a conceited gaze.

Raphael narrowed his eyes at him, a murderous flicker flashing in his dark eyes.

“Come on,” Simon said, clearly oblivious to the staring match that was occurring before his eyes. “We’re sitting over there.”

“I’ll go get us drinks,” Magnus said. “Beer?”

Raphael nodded but he didn’t look like he had stopped planning Magnus’ murder even as he let Simon guide him through the crowd. Magnus snickered under his breath and made his way to the bar, leaning in to be heard over the loud chatter behind him.

“Mr. Bane,” a familiar voice called out just as he was about to raise his fingers to catch Jace’s or his colleague’s - Maia, who helped around here when she wasn’t working with Luke - attention.

Magnus’ head jerked to the side. Robert Lightwood was standing next to him, looking as uncomfortable as humanly possible. He made Magnus feel undressed, his tailored suit utterly incongruous in a place like this one which was meant to be cosy and comfy.

“Mr. Lightwood,” he said, nodding politely.

“So, how are you settling in?” he asked,  in an overly detached tone that didn’t sound genuine.

“It’s been alright,” Magnus replied, surprised to hear the honesty in his own voice. “Not as bad as my first days, I  guess.”

“Have you thought about my offer?” Robert inquired, clearly unwilling to beat around the bush any longer.

Magnus lifted an eyebrow, unfazed. “I’ll let you know when I have. I have your business card. I’ve only been there two weeks and I’m staying for six months. Right now, I’m planning on enjoying my night out, not arranging the sale of my mother’s house.”

“Hey Magnus,” Jace exclaimed as he stopped in front of him. He was a bit sweaty from the back and forth between customers, but there was an excited flicker glimmering in his eyes that showed he could have been doing this for ten more hours. “What can I get - Dad?”

Robert nodded sternly, his lips pursed into a thin line. Magnus didn’t have time to ponder on this new piece of information - now he knew why Robert’s last name had sounded familiar, it was the one that had been on the front door of Alec’s practice; he hadn’t bothered remembering it then, too busy fuming with rage - because Jace was already talking again.

“What are you doing here?” he asked bewilderedly. “You hate this place.”

“I had a meeting with a client in Indianapolis and I drove past here on my way back,” Robert said in a flat tone. “I saw the crowd so I thought I would come and see what’s happening.”

“We have a concert tonight,” Jace replied. “Simon’s band.”

“Oh, the baker boy, is it?” He waited for Jace to nod before he continued, “Good for business, I suppose.”

“Brilliant, yes,” Jace said with a wry smile.

Magnus stared between the two of them, the tension so thick it was almost suffocating, and turned back to Jace. “Two beers, please,” he asked, in a tone that indicated that he was offering a way-out if he needed one.

Jace clenched his teeth and inhaled quietly to compose himself, before sending Magnus one of his signature smirks. “Got a hot date, Bane?”

Magnus pulled a face. “Ew, no. My best friend is visiting from New York for a week.”

Jace chuckled as he poured two pints in large tankards. “You really couldn’t handle the countryside on your own, could you?” he teased, sliding the beers towards him.

They were both aware that Robert had left the bar without another word, but Magnus made sure not to mention it. There was something in Jace’s eyes that told him not to.

“Hey, I’m getting better!” Magnus protested, but the taunting smile on Jace’s lips prevented any offense. “I’m even wearing plaid,” he added, gesturing to his shirt with a mocking flourish.

Jace laughed. “Look at you, a real country boy. Be careful, the next step is the acquisition of santiags.” His laughter doubled up at the sight of Magnus’ disgusted grimace. “Gotta go,” he said, when he noticed Maia was struggling to keep up with the customers crowding at the bar.

Magnus nodded and grabbed the two pints, waving his way through the crowd to join Raphael and the rest of their group. They were settled on a few couches that gave a perfect view to the stage and Magnus slowed his steps as he saw who Raphael was talking to. Because of course his best friend would betray him as soon as Magnus took his eyes off him.

Alec was sitting on the chair next to the couch where Raphael had established residence, leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he chatted with him, his hands moving animatedly as he did.

Magnus ignored him completely and nudged at Raphael to make him scoot over so he could sit down between him and - because his luck was truly abysmal - the police officer who had arrested him.

“Hey Gaga!” she exclaimed cheerfully before eyeing the beers in his hands doubtfully. “Don’t make me arrest you again.”

Magnus blushed and put down the two beers on the table in front of them. “I don’t normally do that,” he grumbled. “There’s no decent public transportation in here and I had a bad day.”

“I know, I know,” she said with a reassuring smile. “I’m Isabelle, by the way.”

“Magnus,” he replied automatically.

“I know,” she said, a mischievous smirk on her red-painted lips. Now that he was paying attention, she looked nothing like she had in her uniform. Her clothes were tight, hugging every curve of her flawless body and her hair was cascading on her shoulders in waves instead of tugged in a strict ponytail. “I arrested you.”

But Magnus didn’t even hear her playful jab, his eyes focused on her shoes.

“Oh my God,” he breathed out, bringing a hand over his heart to make sure it was still beating. “Are those Louboutin? I will marry you right now if they are. I have been submitted to far too many rangers in the past two weeks.”

Isabelle laughed, her long dark hair cascading in her back as she threw her head back. “Alec, I don’t know what you were talking about,” she quipped, a mischievous spark dancing in her eyes. “I think he’s lovely.”

Alec, who had been in the middle of a sentence, paused and looked at her before taking in her words and lifting an eyebrow dubiously. “Yeah, wait for it,” he deadpanned.

Magnus squinted his eyes at him but chose to be the better man and grabbed his beer to take a long sip to avoid retorting something that would certainly end up in them arguing. 

“Don’t worry about my big brother. He is a giant teddy bear deep down,” Isabelle said.

For a second, Magnus was confused, before he understood who she was talking about and his mouth dropped open.

“He’s your brother?” he asked incredulously. Isabelle nodded, a wide grin on her lips. “But you and Jace are so… nice and pleasant and he’s so...  _ not _ .”

“You know I can hear you, right?” Alec butted in blandly. “I’m sitting right there.”

“Unfortunately,” Magnus retorted coldly.

“Hey, stop that!” Clary exclaimed, brow furrowed severely. “This is Simon’s night. Don’t ruin it for him!”

She was sitting on the couch in front of Magnus, wearing a t-shirt that sported a weird, slightly psychedelic but beautifully drawn logo of Simon’s band. Next to her was another woman, her blond hair laced into an intricate braid, blue eyes focused on the phone in her hand.

Magnus ducked his head like a child being scolded by his mother, but he found a vicious satisfaction in seeing Alec do the same thing at the corner of his eye.

“I like him,” Raphael said out of the blue, gesturing towards Alec. “He doesn’t take your shit.”

“Hey,” Magnus exclaimed, his head jerking up immediately to send a betrayed look at his so-called best friend. “Whose side are you on?”

Raphael didn’t get a chance to answer because the lights suddenly dimmed, bathing the room in a cosy atmosphere,  and the band started playing.

They weren’t half as bad as Magnus had imagined, although they weren’t great either. Simon seemed to enjoy himself, and so did the people who quickly invaded the dancefloor - or the weird-wriggling-floor because Magnus would never dare to call whatever this was dance.

The songs were mostly acoustic covers and the main singer’s voice was truly nice so all in all, it wasn’t so terrible.

Magnus took advantage of the crowd gathered on the dancefloor to go back to the bar to get a glass of water, since he couldn’t get thrashed and drive twice in the same month. He hadn't many rules but he had some and not getting bailed out of jail twice in the same month was one of them.

Alec was already there, leaning against the bar and chatting with Jace while sipping a beer and Magnus held back a sigh, stepping forward.

“Hey there, country boy,” Jace called out with a good-hearted grin.

Magnus snorted and rolled his eyes. “Can I have a glass of water, please?”

Jace nodded and Magnus turned his head to catch Alec’s skeptical gaze, eyebrow curved in inquiry.

“I’m wearing plaid,” Magnus told him matter-of-factly. “Progress.”

Alec opened his mouth to answer, but Magnus didn’t let him. “It was a joke,” he grunted. “Don’t get on your moral high horse, Lightwood.”

“I was just gonna say that it makes you look even more like a hipster,” Alec retorted with a scornful smirk.

Magnus froze, his eyes darkening. “Stop calling me that,” he growled.

He hated that he had to glance up to look into his eyes, even as slightly as it was. The mere thought that Alec could look down on him metaphorically  _ and _ literally was frankly unnerving.

“Calling you what?” Alec muttered, with an innocent smile that didn’t fool Magnus for a second. “Hipster?”

“You’re a child,” Magnus hissed.

“And you’re a hipster. Just admit it,” Alec retorted, furthermore proving Magnus’ point.

“Say it one more time,” Magnus murmured threateningly, jabbing a finger on Alec’s chest. “I fucking dare you.”

Alec leaned forward gingerly, a mischievous spark dancing in his eyes. Right then, he could see how the three of them were related. “Hip-ster,” he gritted out, with a taunting smirk that held none of the playfulness Magnus had witnessed in his siblings.

“There you go,” Jace exclaimed as he slid a glass of water towards Magnus, before he took in their position, leaning menacingly towards each other.

“Can I have another one?” Magnus asked, although he didn’t look away from Alec’s eyes.

“Uh, yeah,” Jace said, perplex. “But you’ve got one right there, buddy.”

Magnus turned to give him a sweet smile and grabbed the glass, promptly dumping its content on Alec’s head.

“This one is empty,” he stated, pragmatic.

Jace was looking at him with blown eyes, but he was biting his bottom lip, clearly stifling his laughter.

Magnus turned a proud smirk to Alec, whose mouth was hanging open, his hair plastered on his forehead by the water that was dripping down his face and on his shoulders and chest.

He blinked twice before reaching up to push his hair back, the shock disappearing from his hazel eyes to be replaced by a now familiar look of pure fury.

“I am going to murder you,” he sneered.

“That’s illegal, darling,” Magnus taunted. “Your sister is a cop, you should know that.”

“Drop the fucking act,” Alec hissed and his eyes were burning, boring straight into Magnus’. “I’m not fooled.”

Magnus lifted an eyebrow, genuinely confused. “What act?”

“You act all superior and you arrive in this town and you charm your way around when really, you’re not half as good as you pretend to be,” Alec said, cold and ruthless.

“You don’t know me,” Magnus gritted out through clenched teeth.

“I know enough,” Alec replied on the same tone, ignoring Jace who slid another glass towards them, carefully this time.

“Buddy, don’t -” he started but Alec didn’t let him finish.

“I know your mother was sick for three months and you never visited once,” he said and Magnus’ breath caught in his throat. “Do you know who took care of her while you were too busy running your stupid fashion blog? Me. Us,” he added, gesturing towards the crowd, who was thankfully too busy dancing around to pay attention to them. “You act like you’re fucking perfect and you didn’t even bat an eye when your mother got sick. Do you know that she used to talk about you all the time? She used to praise the shit out of you. And you didn’t visit once.”

Magnus took a step back, trying to force the air back in his lungs, but he couldn’t breathe, and his head was spinning. He felt tears gathering at the corner of his eyes but he urged them back, feeling the words as surely as he would have a slap to the face. Or a knee in the gut.

“I didn’t know,” he murmured in a small, fractured voice.

Alec’s scowl softened slightly and confusion flashed in his eyes but he remained otherwise immovable, standing tall in front of him, hazel eyes holding his own mercilessly.

“I didn’t know,” Magnus repeated louder, his voice wavering in spite of his best efforts. “She didn’t tell me she was sick, because apparently the whole population of this town was worthier of knowing than her own son. I didn’t know.”

He inhaled deeply but his breath caught in his throat and he rushed outside before he could start crying in front of a bunch of strangers who deemed him heartless without even knowing him.

He just had the time to hear Alec swearing in his back before the door shut behind him.

The night was dark and the sky glimmering with a million stars. Magnus cursed them all.

It was unfair that the world could keep imposing its gorgeous grandeur to him when he felt like he was crumbling under the weight of his heart. Stars shouldn't be allowed to be so breathtakingly beautiful when he already had trouble to breathe.

He took a deep breath, and another, coercing the air back in his lungs, urging himself to breathe properly again. He shut his eyes, focusing on nothing but the air coming and going out of his lungs, but Alec’s words were swirling in his head, sharp and cruel, and he bit his lip, drawing blood in his desperate attempt at holding back tears, praying for the footsteps he could hear approaching to be the ones of someone he genuinely appreciated.

“Magnus.”

Magnus choked on a sob and launched himself in Raphael’s arms, burying his head in his neck as tears started scrolling down his cheeks. Raphael wrapped his arms around him and rubbed his back in slow, soothing movements and it made something painful lurch and pull in Magnus’ chest. If Raphael was concerned enough to forgo their proximity and keep any snarky comments about personal space to himself, it was that Magnus was probably more of a mess than he realized.

Magnus didn’t bawl or whine. He cried quietly, breathing heavily against Raphael’s neck.

When he pulled back after a while, wiping at his tears-damped cheeks, he felt calmer. It was as if the crying had drained the fight out of him. The anger remained, however, cold and sorrowful.

“Fuck,” he murmured, washing the smeared traces of makeup off his cheeks with the sleeve of his shirt.

“Want to go back to the house and watch a Mexican telenovela without the sound and do voice over?” Raphael offered, squeezing his arm lightly.

Magnus chuckled, sniffing gingerly. “Yes, please,” he muttered with a faint nod.

“Let’s go,” Raphael said, holding out a hand for the keys.

Magnus was rummaging in his pocket for the car keys when the door of the bar opened again and Alec walked out hesitantly. He caught sight of Magnus and Raphael standing a bit further and strolled towards them slowly, his hands tucked in the pockets of his jeans.

“Hey,” he muttered bashfully. “Can we talk?”

“Why?” Magnus breathed out, holding his chin up as proudly as he could even though he knew his cheeks were damped with tears. “I’m not worth your precious time, Alec. I’m not half as good enough.”

He turned towards Raphael, dropping the keys in his hand. “Let’s go,” he added without another glance for Alec.

“Wait,” he called out, raising a hand as if to hold him back, although he was too far to remotely brush him.

“Good night, Alec,” Magnus said coldly, and he climbed into the car.

.

Raphael’s time in Nashville passed too quickly. They went to Indianapolis for a couple of days, then to Bloomington and spent the rest of it lazing around in the house.

They still woke up early in the mornings to have breakfast with Simon. Unlike Magnus, Raphael was a morning person, always up at the crack of dawn, which was probably a result of him managing a hotel in New York. Yet, he became as grumpy as Magnus was himself as soon as Simon started blabbering about everything and anything while gesturing broadly with his hands. He had done so much eye rolling in that week that Magnus had actually been worried he would end up with some rare medical condition.

During that week, Magnus didn’t see Alec, didn’t even catch a glimpse of him having his daily morning run.

He saw his dog a lot, though. Alec was away most of the day, doing whatever veterinarians did, which meant Buck was alone until Alec got back in the evening. And Buck had developed a liking to Magnus’ dogs after they had first met, so he usually trotted to the house sometime in the afternoon and played with them or just laid with them lazily in the sun. There was also maybe the fact that Magnus liked to give Buck treats because he was very cute when he was excited and Magnus had always been weak for puppy eyes.

The mutt thus spent most his afternoons at Magnus’, at least until a loud whistle would echo from the other side of the pond to call him back. Buck usually perked up right away and went off dashing through the path that led to Alec’s house, disappearing behind the weeping willow in a matter of seconds.

He had driven Raphael back to the airport in the afternoon and as much as having his best friend over for a week had done him good, now the house felt even emptier in spite of Jimmy Chew and Bark Jacobs’ warm presence. It was already night then and Magnus had settled on the back porch with a bottle of wine and a book, his dogs napping peacefully next to him.

It was the best distraction he had found to avoid thinking of how lonely Nashville felt despite his new acquaintances’ best efforts to make him feel welcome. It wasn’t home, and he had come to the conclusion, as he had watched his best friend disappear through the departure gates at the airport, that it would never be. Three weeks hadn’t made him feel any more at ease here than he had been in the first days.

Everything seemed too much and not enough all at once and the ghost of his mother lingering in the house only made it worse, Alec’s words still resounding in his head like a painful reality. Not only had his mother not told him about her illness, but she had let those strangers believe that Magnus had purposely let her suffer without being there for her.

In all honesty, he didn’t know what he would have done if he had known, but he knew for sure that he wouldn’t have stayed in New York while she was succumbing to the destructive claws of cancer.

The guilt he had felt in the first days had leisurely morphed into bitterness, and a dormant anger. He hadn’t been the sole responsible for the degradation of their relationship. Magnus hadn’t called much, yes, but she had been the one lying to him about everything going well when they had talked on the phone in the last months of her life.

Now that he was thinking about it - and thinking about it was all he had done ever since Alec had called him out on his so-called absence - he could remember how weak she had sounded at times, but he had put it on her being tired, or worried about him being unhappy like she had always been.

He recalled, however, how she had insisted on making sure he was happy with far more tenacity than usual. He hadn’t taken her persistence for a warning, or even a goodbye, at the time, but now he knew that it was. She had wanted him to be happy and she had persuaded herself that New York wasn’t the place where it would happen.

Somehow, it made him angry instead of fondly amused like it had once.

Because she had decided for him. She had imposed from her grave that he shall live in Nashville and had left him without as much of a choice, and it turned out that he pretty much hated it, not that he was really surprised.

He knew, in all fairness, that he hadn’t really given the place a chance. He liked Luke and Jocelyn, and Clary, and he even had taken a liking in Simon and Jace, but they weren’t his friends. He didn’t have friends here, and Magnus had always relied on friendship as an anchor to his happiness.

His mother should have known that. If she had known him at all, she should have known that, and the fact that she had ignored it enough to force him to live in a place he hated, among people who were nothing but strangers, albeit friendly ones, to him, was just further proof of that. It left a bitter feeling in his mouth. His mother had been better acquainted with the people of this town than she had been with her own son, and that was her own fault, not his. She had decided to leave him behind in New York when he had still been a teenager to live “her own adventure”, as she had called it, although Magnus couldn’t see where the thrill was in moving in here and settling for a boring, repetitive life.

The book was laying forgotten on his lap and he realized that he had now read the same paragraph ten times over, but he couldn’t bring it to himself to stop reflecting on this whole nightmare he had found himself forced into.

The distraction came eventually, though, and that one Magnus would have rather avoided to keep contemplating on the mess that was his life instead.

He saw the flashlight peeking from behind the weeping willow and Buck dashing his way before he saw Alec walking after his dog. Buck leaped on the porch without a warning and barked happily at Magnus when he petted his head benevolently. He expected Alec to keep moving, to take a walk around the pond but he stopped in front of the open gate of the back porch instead, chewing on his bottom lip. There was a glass of water in one of his hands while the other was rubbing at the nape of his neck nervously.

“Hi,” he said, and cleared his throat to compose himself.

Magnus didn’t reply, throwing him a dull look.

“Your friend’s gone?”

“Why?” Magnus snarled, closing his long forgotten book more sharply than strictly necessary. “Do you want to insult him  too ? I can give you his phone number if that’s truly the only source of distraction in your life but I think you prefer more public settings, don’t you?”

Alec pouted, his nose scrunching up slightly and he sighed, licking at his lips before glancing up at Magnus.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and Magnus scoffed, sending him a dubious glance as he took a sip of his wine. “I know you won’t believe me and you have every right to, but I’m really sorry.”

Alec paused to ruffle Jimmy Chew’s fur, who had woken up from his nap to go to him and lick his fingers.

“I-I thought you knew about Annie,” he went on, although his whole attention was on the dog who had now rolled up on his back to demand some belly rubbing, which Alec provided without much hesitation.

“And you assumed I was a terrible person who just let his mother die of cancer without ever being present for her because I was too busy with my ‘stupid fashion blog’ and my city slicker life,” Magnus finished for him, sending a betrayed gaze to the pup who seemed too blissful to care.

“Pretty much, yeah,” Alec admitted in a self-depreciative tone that almost made Magnus’ restraints flatter. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t even try to give you the benefit of the doubt. I had my mind made up about you before you even arrived in town and I judged you without even knowing you so… yeah, I’m sorry.”

He cleared his throat again and finally looked up from the dog to glance at Magnus, his brow knitted in a sheepish expression. His eyes were shining, the fairy lights wrapped around the columns of the porch reflecting in them and only amplifying his dejected look. Magnus cursed puppy eyes inwardly.

Alec rose back to his feet and showed him the glass in his hand. “So, uhm, I’m sorry I was an ass to you and I brought you another glass of water to throw to my face as a peace offering?” he said, although it sounded mostly probing.

Magnus lifted an eyebrow, unable to hold back a smirk.

“You brought me water so I could throw it to your face,” Magnus repeated matter-of-factly, hiding his burgeoning amusement with another sip of wine.

“Yeah,” Alec said with a shrug. “You seemed to like it the first time.”

“Well, first times aren’t necessarily bad,” Magnus retorted and he uncrossed his legs and put his glass down on the floor to stand up.

He walked the few steps to get to the gate but didn’t come down. For once, he was able to look down on Alec and he wasn’t going to let the opportunity go.

He crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re not going to punch me if I do it?” he asked dubiously. “Or insult me?”

“I promise I won’t,” Alec pledged, and there was something in his voice, or perhaps in his eyes, that made Magnus believe him.

“Stay here,” he said, and walked inside the house without another word.

He disappeared in the kitchen and watched from the window as Alec stayed frozen down the steps to the porch, only moving to pet Bark Jacobs who had also decided to come and greet him.

When Magnus came back to the porch and Alec looked up from the dog to him, he blanched at the sight of the water-filled jug in Magnus’ hands.

“Oh, come on,” he exclaimed, without any of the guile Magnus had witnessed before. “Really?”

“Well, you were a big ass,” he reasoned, with an innocence that was all show, “so you deserve a big jug.”

Alec shook his head and heaved out a deep sigh, running a hand on his features. “Fine,” he grumbled. “I guess you’re right.”

Magnus smirked and walked to the railing, a bit aside from the steps, gesturing for Alec to move to the other side. Alec obliged, albeit reluctantly and came to stand in front of Magnus, glancing up at him. He was tall enough that Magnus only stood a head above him despite him remaining down the stairs.

“Can I give you my phone first?” he asked, handing over the device with an accepting expression that made Magnus think of a culprit sentenced to death.

Magnus plucked the phone out of his hand and slid it in his back pocket.

“You ready?” he asked, a mischievous grin growing on his lips at the prospect.

“Could you at least look less happy about it?” Alec grumbled in response, but promptly shut his mouth when Magnus started pouring the water on his head, deliberately slowly.

Alec glared at him through the flows of water streaming down his face, dampening his hair, his shoulders and his t-shirt but Magnus didn’t rush himself.

He bit on his bottom lip but couldn’t hold back a giggle. “Remember it was your idea, darling,” he taunted and was surprised to hear how light his own voice sounded.

He pouted when the last drops of water finally landed on Alec’s head, the jug now disappointedly empty.

“My idea was one glass,” Alec retorted and he shook his head, much like Magnus’ dogs did after a bath, drops of water flying everywhere.

Magnus reached out to pat his wet hair, a conceited smirk on his mouth. “Don’t be afraid to dream big, Alec,” he said, and promptly burst into laughter at the murderous glare he received in answer.

“Am I at least forgiven?” Alec mumbled and he squirmed out of his drenched t-shirt, pulling it over his head.

Magnus froze, his repartee dying in his throat. He had never stopped to actually look at Alec before, because he hadn’t bothered to see past his initial dislike of the man, but now that he was actually looking - or more accurately,  _ exposed _ to the sight in front of him - he had no choice but to let his eyes rake over Alec.

He couldn’t be blamed because Alec’s chest just demanded for attention, and Magnus was willing to oblige because he was charitable if nothing else. The muscles of his shoulders flexed as Alec squeezed his t-shirt between his hands to drain the water out, the broadness of his arms glistening under the dim lights of the porch.

Magnus absolutely didn’t stare at his abs, or his chest hair, or the happy trail that disappeared under the hem of his jeans. He just didn’t. Because he had some self control and he didn’t let himself get distracted by Adonis-like bodies and strong arms and rugged shoulders - especially not the shoulders, Magnus definitely didn’t have a thing for shoulders - when he was still sporting a strong enmity for the guy. No matter how ripped he was.

“Magnus?” Alec called out, worrying at his bottom lip. 

Magnus teared his eyes away from his naked chest to look into his eyes instead, his stunning hazel eyes which were full of hope and apprehension, and he almost groaned out loud.

“Let’s say you’re halfway there,” Magnus said diplomatically.

“I’m okay with that. I’m really sorry,” Alec said again, in a grave voice that matched the sincerity in his gaze.

“Yeah, I know,” he allowed with a dismissive wave. “I’m sorry too,” he added, albeit reluctantly. “I shouldn’t have said what I said about Nashville.”

Alec nodded and arched an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest to throw Magnus a pointed glare.

Magnus sighed. “And I’m sorry I called you an ass, even if it’s kind of true.”

Alec grunted, looking up at the sky in exasperation. It made the lean lines of his neck stretch appealingly and Magnus whined inwardly. It wasn’t fair that the hot ones had to be judgmental assholes.

“You can’t help yourself, can you?” Alec said, his low tone layered by a dormant annoyance.

Magnus smirked. “You’ve got six months to get used to it.”

Alec didn’t reply, rolling his eyes instead, and darted his eyes away to look at their dogs, who were quietly sitting next to each other, JC in the middle, surrounded by his bodyguards, looking back between the two of them like this whole scene had been highly entertaining to them.

“At least they’re civil to each other,” Alec said, sending a taunted look at Magnus.

He was about to answer, when something vibrated in his back pocket and he startled, before remembering about Alec’s phone. He snatched it out and looked down at the phone, the name “Jace” flashing on the screen.

Alec reached out to grab his phone but Magnus gave him a smirk and picked up.

“Hel -”

“Alec, I just came back from cake tasting and I’m about to explode both literally and metaphorically,” Jace rambled before he could even finish speaking. “I’m going to puke if I eat anything else so I hope you haven’t started cooking already. I’m coming over with beer, though, and we can watch the game. Jocelyn is driving me insane, man. She wants all those weird frostings and Clary obviously agrees with her and I just want the chocolate ones but no one cares. Organizing a wedding is a pain. Did you go to see Magnus? Please tell me you apologized properly this time or I’m gonna kick your ass.”

Magnus scoffed in amusement, swatting Alec’s hand away when he tried to get his phone back.

“His apology wasn’t too bad,” he said, and Alec rolled his eyes. “No need to kick his ass, though. I can do that myself.”

“Magnus?” Jace exclaimed, voice hitching up with surprise.

“Yup.”

There was silence on the other side of the line. “Did you kill him and throw his body in the pond? Because I will definitely kick  _ your _ ass if you did.”

Magnus chuckled. “I didn’t kill him. I just enacted a well-deserved revenge. I didn’t throw him in the pond either, although he did end up wet.”

Jace made a disgusted noise. “I don’t want to hear about the weird kinky stuff you’re up to with my brother, Magnus,” he replied, and he sounded like he was shuddering with dread.

“Give me the phone, Magnus,” Alec growled and he finally dared stepping on the porch, extending a hand for the device but Magnus tutted at him.

“Are you wearing clothes?” Jace asked in a blank voice. “Because I’m not coming over if I’m gonna find you in the middle of some hate sex. I’m too young to be scarred for life.”

“I am wearing clothes,” Magnus retorted with a smirk. “Your brother… Not so much.”

Jace grunted. “I’ve been nothing but nice to you,” he moaned. “I don’t deserve these mental images.”

“And by the way, chocolate is too boring for a wedding,” Magnus remarked, whacking Alec’s hand away once more. “For decorations maybe, but not for the cake.”

“But I like chocolate,” Jace sighed. “Everyone likes chocolate.”

“Which is why it’s boring,” Magnus said matter-of-factly. “Although I wouldn’t trust Jocelyn or Clary either. Artists tend to go overboard with those things.”

“Exactly!” Jace exclaimed. “You need to help me, man. You’re into fashion, aren’t you? That’s some artistic stuff too. Artists listen to each other. I’m sure she’ll listen to you if you tell her to tone it down a bit.”

Magnus chuckled. “I’ll see what I can do.”

He bent down to grab his glass of wine and Alec took advantage of his momentary distraction to pluck the phone out of his hands.

“Jace,” he said in a grave tone. “What? Of course I’m wearing clothes. Well, I’m shirtless but - No, I didn’t have sex with Magnus,” he uttered, his voice hitching up with indignation. “That’s not why I’m shirtless! Oh my God, stop it. We can barely be in the same room without wanting to rip each other’s head.”

Magnus pulled a face, one eyebrow curved in challenge, but eventually nodded in agreement.

“I’m hanging up now,” Alec threatened, his tone lowering in warning. “Yeah, okay. See you in ten. No, I’m not inviting Magnus. And I don’t want to hear you talk about wedding plans all night long, we’re watching the game. Ok. Bye.”

Alec hung up and heaved out a deep sigh, shaking his head in the exasperated fondness that was so typical of siblings.

“I’ve got to go,” he said then, casting a look at Magnus as he pocketed his phone. “He says he’s not hungry but I know him and I’m gonna end up ordering pizza if I don’t cook anything.”

Magnus hummed absently, settling back in his chair and stretching out his legs on the railing.

“See you later, Alec.”

“Yeah,” Alec mumbled and strode down the stairs, whistling for Buck to follow him.

Magnus watched him go, his muscular back flexing as he walked away, his damped t-shirt tucked in his hand, Buck trotting blissfully next to him. He let his eyes graze lower, and cursed.

“Of course he has a nice ass,” he grumbled to himself, pouring himself another glass of wine. “Why does the universe hate me?”

He sighed and opened his book again, resolute on finishing at least the paragraph he had been stuck on before Alec’s interruption.

.

Another two weeks passed and Magnus came to realize he might actually survive his time in the countryside, although he still looked forward to its end. Alec and him hadn’t really talked more, but at least they hadn’t argued either. His neighbor had even stopped ignoring him when he jogged past his house in the morning, waving both at Simon and him before disappearing in the forest.

Magnus was still settled in the guest room and he hadn’t really wandered in the house yet, postponing it as much as possible. He wasn’t sure if it was because he didn’t want to move his mother’s stuff or if it was because he apprehended what he would find. He had accumulated enough anger already, and the constant thoughts swirling in his mind and the bitter taste of betrayal in his mouth were too fresh. He didn’t want to find something that would trigger his wrath even more and make him discharge all at once the pressure he had collected ever since he had arrived in Nashville and even long before that.

So he avoided the house. He slept in the guest room, used the master bathroom because the bath was just divine in there but spent most of his time on the porch, when the slow Internet connection allowed it and he didn’t have to retreat to the living room.

In those two weeks, he had received several visits  from Isabelle. The first time had been to “avoid her stupid brothers who are fighting about sports like the Neanderthals they are”. She had come from the path that led to Alec’s house and had settled next to Magnus on the porch without as much as a greeting.

“YSL or Dior?” she had asked without preamble.

Magnus had lifted an eyebrow at her and showed her the Yves Saint-Laurent shirt he was wearing with a pointed look.

Isabelle had grinned, a bit wickedly. “Good answer,” she had said, and had promptly launched Magnus into a conversation about the upcoming Fashion week. Magnus had felt in his element for the first time in a month.

The lack of a nightlife and Simon waking him up at seven every morning meant that his days were much longer than they usually were, which also meant he was early in all his assignments, whether they were freelance jobs or for his own blog, and he was starting to get really,  _ really _ bored.

But of course, being bored didn’t mean he was allowed to sleep late, since the people of this town clearly didn’t care about his beauty sleep.

Magnus was woken up by the persistent ringing of the doorbell and he cursed, rolling over in his bed to snuggle in the blankets. It was the middle of August and a moist, unbreathable heat had settled in the air. It was bearable in the house, which was equipped with air conditioned, but Magnus felt like he was going to melt every time he stepped a foot outside.

He groaned when the bell rang again, blinking his eyes open.

“Go away Solomon,” he yelled, although he knew there was no way he would hear him if he was at the front door. “It’s Sunday,” he grunted, rolling out of bed with as little grace as humanly possible. “No breakfast on Sunday.”

He dragged himself out of the room and down the stairs to the front door, almost ripping it off its hinges.

He was expecting Simon and he was indeed there but next to him stood Luke, Clary, Jocelyn and Jace, the latter looking just as happy to be here as Magnus was to see them in front of his door at nine on a Sunday morning.

“I’m an atheist,” Magnus grumbled, rubbing at his eyes to coarse the fatigue away. “You’re not taking me to church.”

“I’m Jewish,” Simon replied with his characteristic grin. “I don’t attend Mass either. That’s not why we’re here.”

“We’re here to help you tidy up a bit,” Luke said, squeezing his shoulder as he walked past him and into the house. “You haven’t cleaned up yet and we thought you might need some help. It’s a big house.”

Magnus groaned, leaning his head on Clary’s shoulder when she pulled him into a hug to greet him.

“But it’s Sunday,” he whined. “Sunday is lazy day.”

“Well, we’re all working during the week,” Jocelyn told him with a kind smile. “We can only do that on a Sunday.”

“I brought you some almond croissants,” Simon chimed in, toeing his shoes off in the hall and kneeling to greet Jimmy Chew and Bark Jacobs who had both grown annoyingly attached to him and had taken the habit of greeting him with an enthusiasm that would have been overwhelming for anyone else but Simon, who gave it right back.

“That’s the only reason why you’re allowed under this roof,” Magnus mumbled grumpily, snatching the paper bag out of his hands to grab and bite on a croissant.

He shuffled to the kitchen to put the coffee machine on and Luke followed him, taking mugs out of the cupboards.

“Hey,” he murmured, low enough for Magnus to be the only one able to hear, “it was kind of my idea but if you’re not ready for this, we can leave.”

Magnus sighed, rubbing at his eyes some more. 

Was he ready for this? To go through his mother’s stuff and say goodbye to most of it? To close a door that he would never be able to open again?

“I don’t know,” he replied truthfully. “This still feels too much like her house.”

“Which is exactly why we’re here,” Luke said softly. “It will never feel like yours as long as you keep all this stuff. You practically live on the porch, Magnus.”

“It’s just… She’s everywhere, Luke,” he whispered. “In every corner. Every painting on the wall. The porch is the only place that isn’t impregnated by her presence.”

“I know,” Luke said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “We’ll take it slowly, okay? One room at a time. Why don’t we start with the attic?”

Magnus hesitated for a while but he eventually nodded. “You can start. I need ten coffees and a shower before I can be even remotely productive. And by productive, I mean I’m gonna boss Simon and Jace around.”

Luke laughed and poured coffee in two mugs, adding milk and a sugar to Magnus’ before he handed it to him. “Sounds like a plan. You can be extra harsh on Jace. I think Clary and him had a fight but I can’t be too hard on him because Jocelyn chastises me for being overprotective when I am.”

Magnus chuckled, clinking his mug with Luke’s. “Deal.”

.

“Alec, where are you going?” Magnus heard Jace yell while he was getting dressed after his shower. “Come here!”

He lifted an eyebrow and walked to the window of the guest room to see what was going on. Alec was standing in the path that led to the forest he took every morning, although it looked like he was coming back from his run if his sweaty appearance was anything to go by. He was glancing at the porch, a quizzical expression on his face. Buck wasn’t far, already running around with Magnus’ dogs.

“What are you doing here?” he called out but he didn’t move closer.

“I was dragged here against my will,” Jace lamented. “We’re helping Magnus clean up the house.”

“Ok,” Alec said with a shrug, and started walking away. “Well, see you later.”

“You come back here right now and help us out or I tell Izzy you ruined the shirt she bought you for Christmas!”

Alec stopped dead on his tracks. “I didn’t ruin it! Buck did!” he protested. “And he was right to because it was one ugly shirt.”

“Ha! I’m telling her you said that!” Jace exclaimed triumphantly. “Now get your ass here and help us.”

“Magnus doesn’t want me here,” Alec argued in what was clearly his last resort.

Magnus smirked devilishly and opened the window to lean forward. “I don’t mind,” he called out, revelling in the feeling of the morning sun beating on his bare chest. “We could always use another pair of hands.”

Alec threw him a murderous glare that even the distance between them couldn’t soften.

“You heard the man,” Jace said in a jubilatory tone. “Get your ass here.”

“I’m gonna go take a shower first,” Alec grumbled, defeated. “I’ll be right back.”

“You better or I’ll come and drag you out myself,” Jace retorted.

Alec waved at him over his shoulder and went off running again towards his house.

Magnus smirked, a wicked satisfaction fluttering in his chest at the mere thought of annoying Alec, and shrugged a tank top on, tying a red bandana to match his nail polish in his hair - because if one had the power of looking fabulous while doing manual work, one had an obligation to - before he got out of the guest room, his smug grin refusing to leave his lips.

The attic looked like a tornado had swept through and turned everything upside down and Magnus regretted agreeing to start with that room as soon as he saw the conundrum it actually was.

Luke walked to him, patting his back gently. “Ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Magnus sighed and grabbed the first box he found to bring it down to the living room, where Clary and Jocelyn were assigned with the organization of whatever they found.

He was bringing his third box down when Alec walked into the house, his hair still wet from his shower, Jimmy Chew on his trail, all but stuck to his legs.

Great, Magnus thought, now his pup was in love with the man he still held a bit of a grudge against. Traitor.

“You couldn’t let me off the hook, could you?” Alec said when they ran into each other down the stairs.

Magnus gave him a sweet, innocent smile that was all pretence. “You still have another half of forgiveness to earn,” he replied, pushing the box he was carrying in Alec’s hands. “And stop seducing my dog!” he called out over his shoulder, climbing the stairs back to the attic.

“Maybe he just likes me better because I’m not a little shit,” Alec retorted, but it was more teasing than insulting, unlike it had been when they had first met.

Magnus stopped, leaning above the railing to glance down at him. “Poor thing has always been a terrible judge of character,” he said with a staged contrite expression.

Alec rolled his eyes and rose a knee to settle the box on it so he could have a free hand and show Magnus his middle finger.

Magnus chuckled and disappeared up the stairs.

.

It took them all morning to gather all the mess from the attic into the living room, which slowly morphed into a war zone. By midday, Jocelyn and Luke took residence in the kitchen to cook lunch, while the rest of them settled in the garden, the dogs gambolling happily around them, barking for attention every now and then.

Magnus slouched on one of the chairs, focusing on evening his breathing. He was sweating, but then again, they all were so he didn’t feel too bad about it. Simon was lying on the ground, arms and legs spreaded out. Magnus was glad to know he wasn’t the only drama queen in the vicinity.

Clary was sitting on the grass a bit further with Jace, playing with Jimmy Chew who had abandoned his furry friends to claim some belly rubs. He was a manipulative little thing and Magnus smirked when he saw Jace all but melt and oblige, cooing at the pup.

Magnus glanced to the side when Alec dropped on the chair next to him.

“I wasn’t expecting that when I came out this morning,” he mumbled.

“You only came out this morning?” Magnus gasped dramatically. “How can you have such a horrendous sense of style if you spent all that time in the closet?”

Alec threw him a glare but huffed in amusement after a beat, shaking his head. “It’s hard but I manage.”

“Clearly,” Magnus taunted, poking at a hole in Alec’s t-shirt.

Alec didn’t budge, and Magnus was oddly disappointed to find out that he wasn’t at least a little bit ticklish.

“Or maybe I just wear them to aggravate you, Your Highness,” he said, a mischievous flicker in his eyes.

“Please,” Magnus scoffed. “No one would subject himself to such horrors just by pettiness.”

“They’re not that bad,” Alec retorted, his brows knitted together.

“I’m sure the shirt Isabelle bought you for Christmas was much better.”

“Hell no,” he breathed out. “It was covered in weird moths, Bane. Moths. Who on earth would wear that?”

Magnus’ eyes widened and he straightened up on his seat, throwing him an incredulous look. “You let your dog destroy an Alexander McQueen shirt?” he exclaimed indignantly.

Alec blinked, surprise flashing in his eyes. “Ok, let me rephrase that,” he said. “Who on earth would wear that apart from you?”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe you,” he muttered in incredulity. 

“Shut up,” Alec grumbled, swatting Magnus’ hand away when he reached out to poke at the hole at the hem of his t-shirt again. “I like my clothes.”

“But they’re so…  _ sad _ ,” Magnus insisted. “They’re either black or grey, and I’m not entirely sure your grey ones didn’t used to be black.”

“Ok, enough about my wardrobe. You should be thanking me for helping out instead of making fun of me.”

“Well, you kinda owe me with the way you treated me, Lightwood,” Magnus retorted with a smirk. “Maybe  _ you _ should thank me for giving you a chance to redeem yourself.”

“I saved your dog’s life. That should earn me a regal pardon.”

“It was just a tick,” Magnus countered mischievously. “Seriously darling, you’re a veterinarian, you should know that.”

Alec grunted, throwing his head back and closing his eyes against the beating sun. “You’re such a pain in the ass.”

“It’s one of my many qualities.”

“Right before modesty, isn’t it?”

“No, modesty is my best quality, obviously.”

Alec snorted but didn’t open his eyes, the hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

He didn’t seem like he was going to reply, but he didn’t get a chance to anyway, because Luke stumbled into the garden and Magnus realized he was starving at the sight of the huge dish in his hands.

“Samson, stop pretending to be dead and come eat.”

“I’m not pretending, I’m really dead. I will never be alive again.”

.

The afternoon was spent going through the boxes and deciding what was going to go to charity, what would be kept and what would go right to the bin.

It was a weird experience for Magnus.

He didn’t recognize most of the stuff that was there, but the same couldn’t be said about the rest of them. Every now and then, one of them would pull out an item of the box and start laughing or smiling in fond reminiscence, telling an anecdote about his mother. Even Jace and Alec had stories to tell, although the latter was clearly less inclined to share them, far more reserved in his memories.

Magnus understood quickly that they were mostly sharing them with him, so he could understand better the life his mother had built here, but he would have rather they hadn’t. 

He didn’t want to think about the happy stories she had constituted here. The stories she had lived  _ without him _ .

In the spur of a few hours, he was back to being Annie’s son, Magnus gone and forgotten and this house felt more like a suffocating prison than ever.

He hadn’t been ready, but he realized that too late and he couldn’t tell that to Luke now because Luke was too good of a person not to feel guilty if Magnus told him this whole thing was just making him loathe the situation he was stuck in even more.

“Magnus, is that you?” Simon called out, pulling Magnus out of his thoughts. He looked up to see what he was showing him, only to groan out loud and hide his head in the box in front of him, immediately drawing back coughing when dust flied in his nostrils.

“Oh, you were so cute,” Clary cooed, looking at the picture over Simon’s shoulder.

Magnus jerked into action, snatching the photo frame out of his hands before anyone else could see the rather embarrassing picture.

“I wasn’t,” Magnus mumbled.

“I think we need to judge of that for ourselves,” Alec said from right behind him and Magnus jumped, more in surprise than fright, which gave the perfect opportunity for Alec to pluck the frame out of his hands.

“No!” Magnus protested but Alec was already looking at the picture.

He took a long look, stretching his arm over his head so Magnus couldn’t grab it and he bit on his bottom lip, clearly stifling a laugh. It would have been much easier if Alec wasn’t a freaking giant.

“Give me that,” Magnus growled threateningly.

“You were kinda cute,” Alec commented, the mirth evident in his tone. “I love the leotard. Was it cut straight from a Pollock?”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “It was my mother’s ‘I can paint so I can probably design my son’s clothes too’ period,” he grumbled in explanation, and grabbed Alec’s biceps to make him lower his arm but he didn’t budge. “Seriously?” he exclaimed dejectedly. “Not even a little bit?”

Alec didn’t reply, throwing him a wink and a conceited lopsided grin instead.

“Ask nicely,” he said teasingly and Magnus’ mind definitely didn’t land right in the gutter.  _ Nope _ .

“Give it back,” he hissed.

“That wasn’t nicely.”

“I don’t care if I have to chop off your arm, Hercules,” he warned instead. “I’m not jumping to get it back. I’m not a child.”

“Not anymore,” Alec retorted, wiggling the frame over his head, “although I have my doubts. That leotard looks a lot like the shirt you were wearing the other day.”

Magnus squinted his eyes at him and darted them behind him before widening them in shock. Alec frowned and turned around to see what had distracted him. Magnus immediately jumped on his back, reaching out to grab the frame and Alec yelped in surprise.

“Give it back,” Magnus demanded, wrapping his legs around his waist to climb higher.

“Are you insane?” Alec exclaimed, his voice hitching up in disbelief as he hooked his free hand under Magnus’ thigh to steady him, effectively halting his ascension of Mount Lightwood.

“Insane and stubborn,” Magnus confirmed, setting a hand over Alec’s eyes to block his sight. “I swear I will bite you.”

“I’m a veterinarian,” Alec retorted, just as obstinate. “I’ve been bitten by wilder beasts than yourself, Bane.”

“I don’t think you have, darling,” Magnus muttered seductively in his ear, all but purring, and Alec froze, his breath hitching in his throat.

Magnus chuckled and reached out to snatch the picture out of his hand with a triumphant shout. He unwrapped his legs and landed swiftly on the floor, a victorious grin on his face. Alec glared at him, the tip of his ears flushed red.

Magnus swirled around in a flourish but his grin promptly vanished when he saw Luke, Jocelyn, Clary and Simon staring back at them bewilderedly. Jace was too busy recording the whole thing, snickering behind his phone, to share their astonishment.

“Jace,” Alec groaned in warning.

“Too late,” his brother said, a self-satisfied grin on his lips. “Already sent it to Izzy.”

Alec rolled his eyes but didn’t reply, walking back to his designated boxes instead. Magnus took the stairs to tuck the frame away in the guest room and took a deep breath, staring down at the picture of him as a baby. He was glad his mother had eventually realized that she wasn’t made for clothing design. That was at least something she had been lucid about.

.

It was already dark outside when Magnus finally found himself alone in the house. The living room hadn’t been entirely cleared out but at least things were better organized now. They had settled everything that was meant to go to charity in the basement where it would wait until he had done cleaning up the rest of the house. What he was keeping was tucked in a corner of the living room behind the imposing piano and everything he wanted to throw away in another corner. He was exhausted, both physically and mentally, drained by memories that weren’t his and were yet drowning him.

He sighed, walking to the wooden globe to pour himself a glass of his mother’s scotch and his eyes fell on the stained sheet that protected a few canvas against the wall. He still had to figure out what he was going to do with all his mother’s paintings scattered a bit everywhere in the house. He supposed he could put them all in the attic now that it was cleared out, but the thought of leaving them there to accumulate dust and be forgotten wasn’t entertaining.

With another sigh, he pulled the sheet off and froze when his gaze dropped on the letter that was tucked between two of the  canvases , his name written in elegant, neat letters, the S curving into an unmistakable loop. He took it hesitantly and released a shaky breath, pondering on calling Raphael or Catarina, but he knew they would both advise him to open the letter. He downed the rest of his glass in one gulp and opened it slowly, apprehension twisting his stomach.

_ I called these the Magnus series _ , the letter said, and Magnus could almost hear his mother’s voice in his head as he read.  _ Don’t be afraid to be who you are, my darling. You will never meet everyone’s expectations anyway. Be your own person. Love you, Mom _ .

Magnus saw red.

“Be your own person?” he read again out loud, to the lonely silence enveloping him. “I’ve been my own person for fifteen years, I didn’t wait for you to leave me sketchy post-death notes, Mom!”

He grabbed the first canvas and turned it over to look at the painting, and he froze. He quickly grabbed the other ones and did the same, only to feel the shock and anger mixing together in his chest increase tenfold.

There were abstract paintings, like most of the ones his mother had produced but even that didn’t manage to hide the overwhelming sadness that transpired of them. They were dark, and sharp, and brutal.

They were nothing like Magnus.

It was just his mother telling him for the  umpteenth time, even from the grave, that she knew he wasn’t happy in New York and that he should have come to live in Nashville with her in the first place.

It was the lonely nights he had spent in Ragnor’s apartment after she had left and Ragnor was abroad for a concert.

It was the betrayal he had felt when she had decided to move away despite Magnus’ refusal to go with her.

It was that feeling in his chest, that admission he hadn’t allowed himself, that perhaps New York hadn’t felt like home for a while, that perhaps he indeed hadn’t been happy there.

It was his anger, eating up his insides and swallowing everything else, blinding him to any coherent thoughts.

It was the storm raging in his mind.

His grip tightened on the glass in his hand as he stared again and again at the paintings, the “Magnus series”, and his heart sank in his chest. If it was how his mother had seen him, their relationship had been more broken  than he had thought.

“Fuck you,” he yelled to the ghost of his mother still too present in the house.

His wrath pushed away any lucidity he might have had and before he could realized what he was doing, he was grabbing the stuff they had tucked in a corner to dispose off and throwing it in the garden. He went to the kitchen to grab some matches and came back outside in a hurry, setting fire to the boxes.

Jimmy Chew and Bark Jacobs, who had followed him outside, started barking loudly but Magnus ignored them and went back inside to grab more of the boxes, throwing them in the fire as well. When the fire was high enough, he went to fetch the paintings and strode back determinedly in the garden to give them the fate they deserved.

“I’ve been my own person for fifteen years,” he shouted to the sky. “I arrive here and all I am is Annie’s son! I was as happy as I could be considering you fucking abandoned me and then you had the fuckin nerves of blaming  _ me _ for not following you! And to make me seem like some kind of monster who didn’t give a shit about you! Fuck that! Fuck you!”

He was about to step forward to throw the first painting in the fire when he felt something tug at the hem of his pants. He looked down to see Bark Jacobs and Jimmy Chew, teeth closed against the fabric, hauling him backwards. Whether it was to protect him from the fire or from destroying something his mother had left for him, he wasn’t sure.

“It’s alright, boys,” he told them but his voice, trembling with rage, didn’t manage to convey the reassurance he had been going for. “Daddy’s just having a bit of a crisis here.”

He turned back to stare at the fire, to the boxes that were already melting there, devouring memories of a life that had passed and gone, leaving nothing but those behind.

Magnus shook his head and stepped forward again, pushing his dogs away swiftly, albeit gently. He looked at the painting in his hands, at the sadness that was portrayed, the desperation in the dark colors, in the sharp lines.

He didn’t have the time to process what happened. Two arms circled his waist and hauled him backwards. For a short moment, Magnus was disorientated, his shaken mind wondering what was happening, if his dogs had suddenly grown a pair of arms to save him from his own actions.

Then, Alec’s voice resonated in his ear, tugging him out of his daze. “What the hell are you doing?” he shouted.

Magnus blinked, fury running in his veins like adrenaline. “I’m just having a friendly talk with my lovely mother,” he roared, wiggling to get out of Alec’s strong grasp. “Let me go!”

“No!” Alec yelled back. “You’re going to hurt yourself!”

“Let me go!” he cried out again, but Alec only tightened his hold around his waist, dragging him further away from the fire, which was still devouring the memories of his mother ruthlessly.

“You need to calm down,” Alec said against his ear, his heavy breathing ghosting over his skin like a blazing spark.

“I’m very calm,” Magnus retorted heatedly, but his shaking body belied his words even more than his quivering voice. “I’m perfectly fine.”

“No, you’re not.”

“And I was perfectly fine in New York too, Mom!” he yelled at the fire. “You would have known that if you hadn’t fucking run to hide here!”

“She’s gone,” Alec exclaimed rashly. “Magnus, stop fighting and calm down. She’s gone!”

Magnus froze, his whole body going limp against Alec’s, his energy drained out in the spur of a second.

“She’s gone,” Alec whispered, although he didn’t loosen his hold on his waist. “I’m sorry.”

She was gone. It was a finality he couldn’t run away from like she had. She was gone, and Magnus was alone in his grief, with the realization that perhaps their relationship had been all for nothing if it had to end in death. Or perhaps their relationship had had more meaning than he had dared to recognize at the time, and that was why it hurt so much. They had lived their lives apart. Magnus had grown up away from her, and it had forged the person he was today. He had taken for granted the few moments they had had together, when she came to visit him in New York once or twice a year, and he had never stopped to consider their sacredness.

There would be no more of these moments. There would be no more opportunity to mend what had been broken between them, because she was gone and this time, Magnus couldn’t nurse the hope of her eventually coming back.

She was gone.

He blew out a shaky breath, the air knocked out of his lungs, rage and blinding fury leaving him all at once, and he failed against Alec, who loosened his grip on Magnus’ waist to turn him around in his arms and wrap them around his shoulders instead.

He didn’t say anything else, but he held Magnus in his arms as he wept, tracing soothing patterns up and down his back. It felt odd, the touch and the smell of him unfamiliar, but there was something reassuring about the gentleness of his fingertips brushing against Magnus’ spine, about the pine scent of his neck, like he had lived around the wood for so long that it had impregnated his skin. It managed to appease Magnus against all odds.

When he pulled back, his breathing back in control and his heart aching with sorrow, the fire had subdued for lack of anything else to feed on. The paintings,  _ his _ paintings, laid forgotten on the ground, and Jimmy Chew and Bark Jacobs were both lying on the ground, looking up at him with sorrowful eyes. They whined when he glanced down and he chuckled through his tears, wiping at his damped cheeks before holding out a hand to them. They both immediately jumped to their feet to assault him with playful nips and tender eagerness.

“I’m gonna make sure the fire won’t revive,” Alec told him softly, like he was afraid to ignite another crisis if he acted too brusquely, “and then I’ll make you a hot chocolate, okay?”

Magnus sniffed and looked at him, at the kindness in his hazel eyes, at the worry and concern they displayed.

“Okay,” he whispered, because he didn’t have the strength to hold the mask any longer.

Alec laid a gentle hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly before stepping away to check on the ashes. Magnus sighed and knelt to run his fingertips on the  canvas , the paint rasping at his nails.

He forced himself to swallow past the lump in his throat and found himself praying to a God he didn’t believe in for a surcease to his anguish.

.

“Here,” Alec said, handing him a fuming mug.

The delicious aroma of chocolate came to tickle his nostrils and Magnus hummed in quiet delight before looking up at Alec. “Thank you.”

Alec took the chair next to Magnus, copying his position to rest his feet on the railing of the back porch.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” Magnus admitted lowly. “And I don’t think I could put words to it anyway.”

Alec hummed in understanding, nodding gingerly, and angled his head to look at him. “Can I tell you something instead?” he asked after a while, hesitation flashing in his eyes. “It’s about Annie, but I won’t if you don’t want to hear it.”

Magnus didn’t reply immediately, worrying at his bottom lip and sipping the - heavenly - hot chocolate between his hands instead. He was calm now,  _ collected _ , but he wasn’t sure the slightest slip-up wouldn’t trigger him again.

“Go ahead,” he said in spite of his qualms.

“I lived in New York for four years,” Alec said and Magnus startled, his eyes blown with surprise.

“What? But you dissed it so much when we first met!”

“That was mostly to shut your mouth when you went on about how terrible the countryside was,” Alec retorted with a smirk, and Magnus rolled his eyes. “I lived there for my studies. Four years, in Brooklyn. To be honest, I miss it sometimes.”

“Why are you here then?” Magnus asked softly. “It’s not like you’ve been obliged to like I have.”

“I’m happy here,” Alec replied with a shrug. “This is my home. My family is here, my practice, my friends. And you can’t find a place like this one in New York,” he added, gesturing considerately to the pond.

It was particularly beautiful tonight, the summer stars reflecting in its placid waters in a bucolic picture. Magnus had to admit that much was true. This was something unique.

“I loved New York because I was free there,” Alec continued, and he sounded like he was talking to himself more than Magnus. “I didn’t have to hide. I met my first boyfriend and I could walk with him and hold his hand on the street without fearing the glance of others. I wasn’t out at the time. I only came out when I went back to live here, because New York had taught  me it was okay to be who I was out in the open. Izzy and Jace already knew, though.” He paused and seemed to hesitate again before he added, “And Annie.”

Magnus lifted an eyebrow in inquiry, but didn’t interrupt him.

“She talked to me about you,” Alec went on, and Magnus’ surprise only increased. “Actually, she used to talk about you all the time. When I told her I was leaving for New York, she gave me your phone number and told me to call you when I got there. She said you’d show me around if I needed it, because you had a heart of gold and you’d be happy to help me settle if you could. I told her I didn’t need to because I already had a cousin there and I never called you. Every time I came back here for holidays, she’d ask me if I had seen you, and every time I’d tell her I hadn’t. Now I think she wanted me to look after you more than the other way around.”

Magnus hummed absently, staring at the steam evaporating from his still warm mug, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“I’m just saying…” Alec said and paused, his eyes shifting around and vacillating slightly before they settled back on Magnus. “She loved you. I understand that you’re mad at her. Trust me, I know what it’s like to be mad at your parents. But she loved you. Unconditionally. And she was a good person, even if she was quirky and eccentric and… well, a bit crazy.”

Magnus chuckled, albeit sadly. “She would tell you that being enigmatic is not crazy,” he said, in a teasing tone that surprised him.

“Oh, she used to talk in riddles all the time,” Alec said, voice coated with amusement. “I swear I couldn’t understand what she was talking about half of the time.”

“Tell me about it,” Magnus snickered, shaking his head fondly. “She once spent half an hour talking to me about fruits rotting before I understood she was basically telling me to ditch my girlfriend.”

Alec laughed, soft and clear, and shifted to settle more comfortably in the chair.

“I envied you,” he admitted when he had simmered down.

Magnus startled, angling his body to the side to face him swiftly, eyes widening slightly.

Alec shrugged, and ducked his head. “When I came out to her - properly, even though I knew she already knew - she was so… supportive. Accepting. And I remember thinking about you, about that son she always talked about but I had never met and I thought that if you had been queer, she wouldn’t have batted an eye. She would have loved you just the same, maybe even more for being honest with her. I envied that. How she just loved you so much. No conditions.”

“Your parents…”

“We don’t talk,” Alec ushered out before Magnus could finish. “Not anymore. Let’s just say they’re not as open-minded as Annie were.”

“Is that why you were so hard on me when you thought I hadn’t visited when she was sick?”

“I suppose that was part of it, yeah.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Magnus asked softly.

Alec rubbed his thumb against his chin and over his growing scruff in a nervous gesture. “I know it probably doesn’t feel like that right now, but whatever she did that pissed you off enough to almost set yourself, your dogs and your house on fire, I’m sure she meant well. She loved you too much to do anything to hurt you intentionally.”

Magnus didn’t reply, running a finger along the hem of his mug, painfully aware of his heartbeat echoing in his ears like a dissolute clock.

“I’m sorry,” Alec said, and he sounded annoyed but only with himself. “Was that too much?”

“No,” Magnus whispered, shaking his head slightly. “No, it was… It was…” He sighed, his words failing him, and settled for the next best thing. “Thank you, Alexander.”

“No one calls me that,” Alec muttered, not unkindly.

“No one but me,” Magnus argued with an arrogant smirk, jumping on the first occasion to dodge the previous subject.

“Wait,” Alec exclaimed, straightening on his chair. “What did you just say? Before you called me Alexander.”

Magnus lifted an eyebrow. “I said thank you.”

“Ah,” Alec sighed, leaning back in the chair and closing his eyes in a staged blissful expression. “Music to my ears,” he added teasingly. “Gratitude from the great Magnus Bane!”

Magnus rolled his eyes and reached out to slap his arm. “Shut up,” he grumbled, but the smile slowly growing on his lips betrayed his mirth.

“Does that mean I’m forgiven now?” Alec asked, the hint of a smirk on his mouth. He opened his eyes and angled his head to send him an expectant look.

Magnus faked deep reflection, a finger tapping on his chin. “Let’s say you’re almost there,” he allowed, a cocky grin on his lips.

Alec snorted, shaking his head. “You’re insufferable.”

“And yet you’re here,” Magnus retorted defiantly.

“I saw the fire from my kitchen window,” Alec replied. “I couldn’t do nothing. That would be failure to provide assistance to someone in danger. My sister is a cop, I wouldn’t want her to have to arrest me.”

“Oh, so you just did it to save your ass, right?”

“Obviously,” Alec retorted boldly.

“Well, I can’t blame you,” Magnus said tauntingly. “It’s a nice ass.”

“Exactly,” Alec said with an arrogant smirk.

Magnus threw him a pointed glare. “Just admit you like me, Alexander,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

Alec stared at him and let his eyes rake over Magnus shamelessly, studying him carefully. “I guess you’re alright,” he admitted eventually.

Magnus’ mouth dropped open in shock. “Excuse you?” he gasped dramatically, because it was much easier than to focus on the way his skin felt like he had indeed walk into the fire. “I’m fabulous.”

“It’s hard to realize that when you’re being such a little shit,” Alec retorted.

Magnus nudged at his feet still resting on the railing and smirked proudly when they landed on the ground with a thud, Alec gripping the armrests of the chair tightly to keep his balance.

“You’re just proving my point.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Magnus replied with a wide, innocent grin.

Alec chuckled, but didn’t reply, setting his feet back next to Magnus’.

They stayed there for a long time, talking and pestering each other, long enough that the lump in Magnus’ throat had vanished completely by the time Alec went back to his home, but he didn’t realize it, not even when he slid in his bed and fell almost immediately in a serene, peaceful sleep.

.

The next morning, Magnus woke up before his alarm and hopped in the shower, belting out David Bowie’s  _ John I’m Only Dancing _ loudly enough that he almost missed the sound of the doorbell. He got out quickly out and wrapped a towel around his waist.

He rushed downstairs to open the door, his stomach gurgling loudly in anticipation.

“Dude, what happened to your garden?” Simon exclaimed immediately, before he focused on Magnus, his eyes widening. “Why are you naked?”

“I’m wearing a towel, chill,” Magnus rolled his eyes. “And I could be naked if I wanted to, it’s my house.”

Simon seemed surprised for a moment, but he eventually beamed his usual beam, pushing his way inside. “So… your garden? What happened?”

“I had… a bit of a crisis last night. All better now.”

Simon threw him a bewildered look but he quickly recovered, laughing and shaking his head fondly. “You’re truly your mother’s son.”

Magnus froze on his way to the kitchen. “Yeah, I guess I am,” he breathed out.

He switched the coffee machine on and ran back upstairs to put some pants on, not bothering with a shirt, because he had planned on making up for his ruined lazy Sunday by having a lazy Monday instead and lay all day long on the long chair they had found in the attic and settled in the garden the day before. Or at least, he would as soon as he had properly cleaned it.

He joined Simon back on the porch and snatched a pastry out of the paper bag.

“How are you so ripped when you barely get out of the house?” Simon asked, poking a finger at Magnus’ abdomen as if to check the muscles were real.

“Yoga, Tai Chi and sex,” Magnus retorted with a smirk. “A lot of sex.”

“You’re single and you’re not pulling out,” Simon deadpanned. “I know that because you’ve complained about your nonexistent sex life for an hour last week.”

“Yeah, well I used to have one before I arrived here. I’m not gonna get fat in a month and a half.  Although your pastries clearly aren’t helping.”

Simon chuckled and poured the coffee in the mugs, patting Bark Jacobs’ head.

“Stop feeding them sugar, you’re gonna give them a heart attack,” Magnus chastised him, smacking Simon’s hand when he went to give the dog a piece of his pie.

“They’ll be fine,” he grumbled, pouting slightly.

“I can ask the local veterinarian,” Magnus retorted. “I’m sure he’ll agree with me.”

“Alec would disagree with you just to annoy you,” Simon argued.

“Speaking of  the devil,” Magnus said, pointing at the edge of the woods where Alec was emerging from, Buck trotting after him.

Alec jogged towards them when he saw them, slowing down his steps until he reached the back porch.

“Alexander, tell Stanley to stop feeding sugar to my dogs.”

Alec blinked at Magnus, his eyes riveted on his naked torso for a second too long before he cleared his throat, turning them to Simon.

“Stop feeding sugar to Magnus’ dogs, Stanley,” he said obediently, a light smirk tugging at his lips.

“No,” Simon protested. “You’re not allowed to do this too. That’s Magnus’ thing. I don’t tell him anything because one, I know it’s pointless, and two, I know it’s his weird Magnus way of telling me he likes me.”

Magnus scoffed in indignation. “I like you as much as I would like a very annoying and talkative alarm clock.”

“Are you telling me I’m the reason why you get out of bed everyday?” Simon uttered, fluttering his eyelashes exaggeratedly. “I love you too, Magnus.”

Magnus rolled his eyes, winding back towards Alec. “Coffee?”

“I’ve got to go to work. George thinks his horse is ill, I’ve got to drive there.”

“I have no idea who that George person is but have fun,” Magnus said airily, moving his hands in a flourish that made the bracelets on his wrist clink melodiously.

Alec stared at the jewellery for a second, nodded gingerly at the two of them and took off running again.

“George is the farmer who lives just outside the town,” Simon told him. “He’s a jerk but Alec is always the one to go there because Lydia will probably rip his head off if she sees him again. He always gives them these long speeches about homosexuality being wrong.”

“I don’t know who Lydia is either but I like her,” Magnus commented. “And Alec should definitely let her rip his head off.”

“Lydia’s Maia’s girlfriend,” Simon explained through a mouthful of pie. “She runs the veterinary practice with Alec. She’s originally from Indianapolis. They met in college and when Alec opened his practice, he offered her a job and she said yes. She’s been living here for four years now. She was there for my band’s gig at Java Jace. It’s weird you’ve never met her.”

Magnus shrugged. “Not that weird. I haven’t socialized much.”

“Maybe you’d have a semblance of sex life if you didn’t spend your time moping here,” Simon remarked, but his usual kind tone prevented any offense despite his horrendous lack of tact. “Maybe you’d start to see it’s not so terrible here, too. We live here and we like it. You’re just too proud and stubborn to admit you’re actually scared you’d change your mind.”

“Shut up and eat, Scott,” Magnus grumbled, throwing a piece of Rugelach to his face.

“Whatever you say, Marcus.”

.

Magnus promised himself he would enact a revenge soon enough to punish him for it but Simon’s words winded in his mind before he could stop them. After lunch, he was too agitated to keep still and he eventually gave up on lying down on the long chair and do nothing. He needed to move, to do something and thus he called his dogs, hooked their leashes to their collars and brought them to the car which had finally been fixed - and it had cost Magnus a little fortune, but the mechanic had seemed really apologetic, so he hadn’t had the heart to yell at him for the delay.

He drove straight to town. The streets were busy with tourists, most of them stopping by on their way to the state park, but Magnus had no trouble parking in front of Java Jace.

There was one thing, he had to admit, that was better in Nashville than in New York: dogs were accepted pretty much everywhere and he didn’t have to leave them behind when he went out. Proof was the way Jace’s face absolutely lit up when Magnus walked in the bar. Magnus tried not to be vexed when he realized his enthusiasm was solely directed at Bark Jacobs and Jimmy Chew.

“Look who’s coming out of his cave,” Jace taunted from where he was kneeling on the floor, ruffling BJ’s head affectionately.

“I’ve been told I should socialize,” Magnus admitted begrudgingly.

“Shame,” Jace muttered in a teasing tone. “We don’t have a stereotypical hermit ever since Old John passed away two years ago. You were doing a great job on taking on his legacy.”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “So, what should I start with?”

“There’s plenty of shops on the Main Street that sell handcrafted items,” Jace said. “All kinds of antics. They’re nice.”

“Handcrafted antics it is then,” Magnus said. “Who knows? I might like the kitschy touristy stuff.”

Jace laughed. “No, you’re gonna hate it. I wish I could come with you just to record your face but I’ve got a business to run,” he quipped, gesturing vaguely to the bar.

“See you later then,” Magnus chuckled, tugging lightly on the leashes to motion for the dogs to follow.

“Hey, Clary and Jocelyn are in the downtown market to pick the flowers for the wedding,” Jace exclaimed as he rose back to his feet smoothly. “You could join them, they would show you around and you could stop them from making our wedding look like fucking Versailles.”

“I don’t know, I think you would rock the periwig.”

Magnus laughed at Jace’s look of total horror and bounced back outside to head downtown.

It was only a ten minutes walk and he didn’t have much trouble finding Clary and Jocelyn, their hair color dashing with the flowers beds laid out for exposition.

“Mr. Bane,” a voice called out behind him before he could join them, and a tall body bared his way.

“Mr. Lightwood,” Magnus said, doing his best to keep the annoyance out of his tone. “What’s up?”

Robert blinked, seemingly surprised, but cleared his throat to quickly recompose himself. 

“Uh, not much,” he said hesitantly, like he wasn’t sure it was an appropriate answer. “And yourself? What’s… up?”

Magnus reached out to pat his shoulder, grinning broadly. “I’ve decided to give this town a chance,” he told him cheerfully. “At least my boys seem to like it,” he added, gesturing to the dogs, who were pulling on the leashes in their eagerness to explore - and probably sniff and destroy a few flowers.

“Oh,” Robert said, his brows knitting together. “I thought you didn’t like it.”

“I like being surprised,” Magnus replied truthfully. “And I’ve been fighting it but who knows? Maybe Nashville will surprise me. It doesn’t seem that bad.”

“No, it’s not that bad,” Robert responded, a grim edge to his tone.

“Oh, and I’ve met your children,” he added, mostly because he could. “They’re lovely! I’d love to talk more but I’ve got to go.”

“Mr. Bane, wait!”

Magnus resisted the urge to sigh and swirled around, not before waving at Clary and Jocelyn who had finally spotted him.

“Yes?”

“Do you think we could settle an appointment? I’d like to talk to you about my offer. For the house.”

“Sure,” Magnus said. “But like I said, I’m not really thinking about selling right now. Maybe I’ll keep the house even when I’m back in New York. It’d be a nice place to go on vacation when the city becomes too much.”

Robert pursed his lips together and Magnus had all the troubles in the world holding back a smirk. Really, he made it too easy.

“I’ve got to go,” he said cheerfully. “Have a nice day, Rob!”

“You too… Mr. Bane,” Robert muttered, half in shock and half in annoyance.

Magnus winked at him and waved his fingers before finally giving in to the pressure of his dogs’ excitement, letting himself be hurled away from the man, who just stared after him, a dejected look on his face.

Oh, how Magnus loved irritating homophobes.

.

“My nose is itchy, Cat. Too many flowers.”

“You sound like you had a good time, though,” his friend argued, and the smile was audible in her voice.

Magnus moved to tug his plate in the dishwasher, shutting it with his heel.

“Yeah, it was fun,” he admitted. “The boys loved it. Probably because they destroyed a few tulips that I was asked to pay for. But I managed to charm the lady and she ended up offering me some instead.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Catarina chuckled.

“It’s my natural charm, darling,” Magnus quipped, switching the dishwasher on. “I’m irresistible, what can I say?”

“Does the awful veterinarian think so too?” she taunted.

“No, we’re… kinda friends now? Friendly, at least. Turns out he’s not as big of a douche as I thought.”

“You’re starting to like it out there, aren’t you?” Catarina asked in the characteristic soft voice she always used when amused by his antics.

“It’s… not that bad,” Magnus mumbled.

“I knew it!” Catarina exclaimed with a laugh. “You’re so predictable.”

“What?” he gasped dramatically, heading to the living room to pour himself a glass of wine. “You take that back!” 

He switched the light on, only to jump in both surprise and fright when a creaky sound snapped somewhere in the house and he was suddenly plunged into darkness.

“Shit!”

“What’s going on?” Catarina asked, a worried edge to her tone.

“The fuses have blown,” Magnus explained, extending a hand blindly to avoid walking into a wall. “I think the fuse box is downstairs in the basement.”

“I hope your mother didn’t hide a body there,” Catarina joked. “That would be awkward.”

“Don’t do this to me,” Magnus grumbled. “You know I believe in ghosts.”

“I know, I know. Sorry,” she said but she was clearly laughing.

“You’re a terrible friend, I hope you know that.”

“Imagine if you were on the phone with Raphael,” she said diplomatically.

“He would be making ghost sounds already,” Magnus commented with a chuckle, ruffling in the kitchen drawers for a lamp torch.

The kitchen was thankfully flooded by the moonlight coming through the windows or his legendary luck would have probably had him impale himself on a corkscrew.

“Stay on the phone with me,” he mumbled to Catarina, before  switching the light on and taking the stairs in the hidden door in the hall that led to the basement.

There was a heavy stale smell in the room and he scrunched his nose up but kept moving until he was in front of the fuse box anyway. He opened it carefully, putting the torch between his teeth so he could see what was inside.

Whatever he had been expecting - complicated buttons, switches, the normal stuff you’d find in a fuse box - it wasn’t an envelope flying in the air and landing on his feet.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me, Mom,” he muttered in disbelief.

“Please don’t tell me you just saw your mother’s ghost in the basement,” Catarina chimed in.

“No,” Magnus scoffed in staged exasperation. “There’s another letter.”

“Oh.”

Magnus shook his head and opened the envelope as well as he could while balancing a phone and a lamp torch in his hands. He read it quickly and his mouth dropped open in shock, before huffing out an incredulous breath.

“So?” Catarina asked, her voice dragging with anticipation. “What does it say?”

“I think my mother is matchmaking from her grave,” Magnus replied blankly.

“Uh?”

“Magnus,” he read out loud, unable to hide the mild amusement from his tone, “the electric circuit can be difficult sometimes. Have you met Alec? He’s the neighbor and he’s very good with his hands. He will know what to do, he always fixed it for me. I’m sure you would get along with him. He’s very handsome too. Love, Mom.”

“Oh my God,” Catarina breathed out, but she was quite clearly stifling her laughter. “She’s totally matchmaking from her grave.”

“I can’t believe her,” Magnus chuckled, before frankly laughing.

“Well, you better go see him then,” Catarina snorted. “We wouldn’t want to piss off your mother’s ghost.”

Magnus suppressed the need to shudder. “Stop it,” he growled and rolled his eyes when Catarina laughed on the other side of the line.

He walked back upstairs, said goodbye to her and hung up the phone, taking the path that led to Alec’s house carefully. When the single streetlamp couldn’t illuminate his path anymore, he switched the torch on again, lighting up the ground so he could see where he was stepping. It didn’t prevent him from tripping on a slippery rock and promptly land in a puddle of mud.

“Of course,” he groaned to himself under his breath. “It wouldn’t be fun if you weren’t covered in mud, Magnus.”

He sighed and rose back to his feet, not bothering to look at his clothes to see how ruined they were. He understood now why people here seemed to have no care whatsoever for fashion. It was because your clothes ended up being ruined anyway, so you might as well not wear a pair of jeans that almost cost a rent.

He managed to get to Alec’s front door without tripping again and switched off the lamp. Loud barks started coming from the other side of the door as soon as he had knocked.

Alec’s house was smaller than his mother’s and it was painted a deep red that fitted perfectly with the old-fashioned wooden windows. There were two cars parked on the path, his vintage Porsche and the truck he used when he went out of the town to visit the nearby farms’ animals.

The door opened but Magnus didn’t have the time to even take a look at Alec before he was attacked by a very eager mutt, who leaped at his knees, almost making him lose his balance again.

“Magnus?” Alec called out in surprise. “What happened to you?”

There was a hint of humor in his voice, and Magnus threw him a pointed glare. “You’re not allowed to make fun of me,” he hissed, darting his eyes away from Buck to look at him.

Alec was wearing nothing but sweatpants. Which was absolutely fine. He totally didn’t look like a freaking God.

“I fell,” Magnus grumbled morosely.

“Yeah, I can see that,” Alec said, gaze brushing over Magnus’ appearance. “You’re covered in mud.”

“You don’t say,” Magnus deadpanned, rolling his eyes.

Alec chuckled and reached out to brush something away from Magnus’ cheekbone with his thumb.

“There’s something wrong with my electric circuit,” he said, rubbing with cheek with the back of his hand in case Alec hadn’t gotten rid of all of it. “The fuses have blown and I’m in the dark. Both literally and figuratively. I don’t know what to do.”

“Let me put a shirt on,” Alec said with a nod.

Magnus smirked. “Oh, darling, you don’t have to get dressed up for me,” he purred, adding a wink for good measure.

Alec snorted, gesturing for Magnus to step inside. “I do if I want you to pay attention to anything I’m saying,” he retorted teasingly and promptly disappeared through a door on the right.

“Not my fault your body is distracting!” Magnus called after him.

The only answer he got was a muffled chuckle.

Magnus stepped forward carefully, absentmindedly patting Buck’s head, who was plastered to his side. Alec’s home looked very different from his mother’s. Everything was dark colors, brown and black colors mixing together, but it was somehow warm and welcoming. On his left side, the wall was open to give straight into the living room. There were books all over the walls and a fireplace that was out in front of which laid a heavy carpet and a leather chair that looked awfully comfortable. A bit further, another leather couch faced the mural TV. All in all, the place looked inviting.

It suited Alec perfectly.

“Let’s go,” Alec said behind him but Magnus didn’t turn around from where he was scanning the pictures that sat on the fireplace. Magnus recognized most of  the people there, Isabelle, Jace, Simon, Clary, Maia and a blonde woman that he guessed was the Lydia Simon had mentioned. There was a younger boy too, on a picture with Alec where they were both laughing, arms around each other although the boy looked ridiculously small next to Alec. Buck was at their feet. He was just a puppy then but his playful eyes were unmistakable.

“Magnus,” Alec called again and Magnus teared his eyes away from the pictures and swirled around.

He had put a t-shirt and a hoodie on and was waiting expectantly in the lobby, hands tucked in his pockets. He jerked his head to the side towards the door and Magnus obliged, walking back outside.

“Sit,” Alec told Buck, before ruffling the dog’s head. “Good boy. I’ll be right back.”

Alec switched on his own lamp torch and Magnus followed him down the path to the house.

“What happened?” Alec asked.

“I just tried to switch on the light in the living room and there was a weird noise and boom! Everything went dark.”

Alec slowed down a bit and turned to Magnus. His face was barely lit by the lamp torch but it made his hazel eyes stand out in the darkness surrounding them and emphasized his frown.

“That’s weird,” he mused out loud. “I thought I had fixed that for your mother. It used to happen at least once a week but it hasn’t for a while.”

“Maybe I’m cursed,” Magnus mumbled grimly.

“Maybe you’re just a natural disaster,” Alec offered tauntingly.

“You’re an ass,” he deadpanned.

“Hey now,” Alec muttered, but his voice was softened by mirth. “Be nice or I might leave you without electricity and knowing you, you won’t last a day.”

“I will if I throw you in the pond and steal your house,” Magnus retorted.

Alec snorted. “It’s cute that you think you could.”

Magnus rolled his eyes but didn’t reply. They had just arrived in front of the house and Jimmy Chew and Bark Jacobs were both patiently waiting on the porch, but they perked up immediately at the sight of Alec, bouncing on their legs in lieu of greeting. Alec indulged them, petting them benevolently before he motioned for Magnus to follow him.

They headed to the basement with measured steps, careful not to bump into anything on their way. When they were in front of the fuse boxes, Alec took one long look at it, brow furrowed in concentration.

“That’s weird,” he mumbled to himself. “I had fixed that.”

He manipulated a couple of buttons and Magnus tried to pay attention to what he was doing but truth be told, he was utterly lost when it came to those things.

“You had fixed that and it’s… not fixed anymore?”

Alec hummed in agreement. “It should work fine now. Let’s go check upstairs.”

Magnus couldn’t get out of the basement more quickly. He almost tripped in the stairs in his eagerness to reach the living room.

“And there was Light!” he exclaimed cheerfully when the lights switched on, swirling around to face Alec with a wide grin. “Thank you Alexander.”

Alec smirked, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. “I still think it’s weird that it was the thing I had fixed that went wrong,” he commented thoughtfully.

“Maybe you’re not that good with your hands,” Magnus retorted with a wink, before swirling around to get to the liquor cabinet, pouring them two glasses of scotch.

Those were the last drops, but he fathomed that Alec deserved them for helping him out.

Alec scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Maybe your house is haunted,” he said airily but Magnus froze suddenly, blanching.

He cleared his throat and picked up the glasses, handing one of them to Alec. “That’s ridiculous,” he replied, cursing inwardly when his voice hitched up out of control.

Alec’s hazel eyes scanned his features and Magnus saw the exact moment realization dawned on him, a playful flicker glimmering in his gaze.

“No,” Magnus said before Alec could open his mouth. “Don’t say it.”

“You’re scared of ghosts.”

“I’m not scared of them,” he protested. “I just believe in them and I’m not entirely fond of the idea of having some lost souls chilling around in my house.”

Alec bit on his bottom lip and Magnus narrowed his eyes. “Don’t laugh,” he hissed menacingly. “I’ll really throw you in the pond if you laugh.”

“Not laughing,” Alec said, raising both hands in defense, the glass tucked between three of his fingers.

It would have been much more convincing if he wasn’t grinning maniacally.

“You’re lucky you’re useful,” Magnus said, shaking his head in staged exasperation. “And hot. That works in your favor too. I’d have killed you already if you weren’t so pleasant to look at, because you’re really insufferable.”

Alec smirked and walked a step closer, taking a sip of his scotch before he leaned towards Magnus, whispering tauntingly, “But then I’d come back to haunt you.”

And with that, he wandered into the living room, scanning his surroundings like it was the first time he stepped foot in here. He smiled fondly at the piano, though, and Magnus knew he had spent more time here than it seemed with that simple smile.

“If your ghost self is not wearing a shirt, I guess I can get on board with that,” Magnus replied.

Alec snorted but he didn’t turn around, stepping closer to the piano, his fingers trailing over the black wooden case with a reverent care that was fascinating to witness, and Magnus’ repartee died in his throat.

For a while, Alec seemed lost in his thoughts, a soft smile curving the corner of his mouth.

And then, he talked, in a gentle, poignant tone that sent a wave of shivers down Magnus’ spine and made the mood shift in the spur of a second.

“Annie used to play a lot,” he said. “She often hosted those big dinner parties and she invited pretty much everyone.”

Magnus chuckled quietly. He had always known where his partying nature had come from, but it was nice to hear it. To realize his mother and him had had more in common that just a few physical features and a last name.

He stepped closer, sitting on the bench that faced the keys. He rested his elbow on the edge, and his chin on his fist, glancing up at Alec expectantly.

“It always ended at the wee hours of the morning,” Alec continued, rubbing some at his scruff, his other hand curled around the glass. “When everyone was mostly gone and there was only us - your mother, me and my siblings, Luke, Jocelyn, Clary, Simon, Elaine and Maia, and Lydia too, after she moved here -, she used to sit behind the piano and play something. She always ended up doing the Star Wars theme for Simon.”

Magnus smiled, but mostly to himself. “Predictable,” he muttered, heartbeat pounding in his ears. “There was one piece she used to play a lot when I was a kid. She said it reminded her of me.”

“What is it?” Alec asked, leaning his elbows on the piano.

“On the Sunny Side of the Street,” Magnus replied with a soundless scoff.

“Oh,” Alec breathed out, in a blank tone that had Magnus’ head jerk up and lifting an inquisitive eyebrow. “She used to play that piece a lot. I always wondered why she looked so… nostalgic when she played it when it’s such a happy one but I guess it makes sense now.”

Magnus ducked his head and ran a finger on the immaculate keys of the piano, feeling their smoothness under his fingertip, imagining other hands on them, long, elegant hands that had been so tender and yet so unbearably absent.

If anything his time in Nashville had taught him so far, it was that his mother hadn’t forgotten about him. She hadn’t moved on right after she had left New York and obliterated everything that had constituted her previous life, her son included. If everyone had known who he was from the start, it must have been because Annie had indeed talked about Magnus as much as Alec claimed she did. But there were too many mysteries left, the first one being why she had felt a desire to leave so strong that she hadn’t thought twice about leaving him behind despite how much she had loved him.

And there it was, in a corner of his brain, a question poking and growing, invading the sole essence of his mind: what if?

What if she had stayed in New York with him? What if Magnus had followed here in the first place? What if he had been more present, had called more often, had visited more than twice? What if he had realized how much he cared before his chance to show it was ripped away from him? What if he had been there to take care of her while she was sick?

Would she have lasted longer? 

Would she have healed completely?

What if Magnus had tried to be a better person toward his mother? What if they had fixed what had been broken between them?

What if? Those were two simple words, but lethal when put together. They left a road open for questions that would never be answered, for a long trail of regrets that would never be foreseen. 

Magnus’ heart constricted in his chest and he urged himself to swallow past the lump in his throat, ignoring the throbbing in his temples.

He would have gladly given the house, the car, the freaking piano, his apartment in New York, his entire life for just another talk with her. To understand what had went wrong, why she had left, how he was supposed to go on with all those questions left unanswered.

And it made him sad, and it made him angry, because he might have not been perfect, but he didn’t deserve to be left in the dark.

“Hey,” came a soft voice somewhere above him. “You okay?”

Magnus blinked, looking up at Alec, whose brow what furrowed in concern. He had almost forgotten he was there, too lost in his own mind that he was.

He hummed in confirmation, but Alec didn’t seem fooled. His lie was made obvious by his traitorous dogs who came trotting in the living room and whined at him miserably. Bark Jacobs went to rest his head on Magnus’ thigh while Jimmy Chew gnawed on his shin and Magnus patted both their heads absently.

“I’m sorry,” Alec said with a grimace. “I didn’t mean to -”

“It’s nothing,” Magnus cut in, shaking his head abruptly.

“It’s not nothing,” Alec argued. “You’re -”

“Why do you even care?” Magnus snapped harshly, clenching his jaw. “Why do any of you care? You don’t know me. We’re not friends. I know you’re trying to help, to make me feel better, but you don’t owe me shit. You’ve known me for what? A month and a half? Why do you care if I’m okay or not? You’re all doing this because I’m Annie’s son and you cared for her, and that’s nice of you, but you’re not indebted to her in any way, and even less to me.”

In all honesty, he knew he was being irrational, that easing his nerves by lashing out on Alec was unfair, and frankly a cowardly way of avoiding facing his own feelings, his own gut-wrenching misery, but it was easier, and Alec was right there with his kind eyes and his sweet words; he was an ideal victim.

“This is not what this is about,” Alec replied bemusedly, confusion flashing in his eyes.

“Then, why?” Magnus retorted immediately. “You, Simon, Luke and all your merry band. You don’t know me. I’m not from here. My life is in New York and I’ll go back as soon as my six months sentence is over and you’ll all forget about me and I about you. So really, I don’t understand why you exert yourselves trying to make friends and cooking me pies and being fucking nice when I clearly don’t deserve it or even care about it.”

He rose to his feet, downing the rest of his glass in one go and heading to the liquor cabinet to pour himself another one. Alec followed him with his eyes, lips parted in shock.

“I’m not worth it,” Magnus went on, fingers clenching around the glass. “I told you I didn’t know she was sick and that much is true, but why do you think she didn’t tell me, Alec?”

He swirled around to face him, a stern, demanding flicker in his gaze.

Alec blinked. “I-I don’t know,” he sputtered softly. “But -”

“She wasn’t concerned that I’d worry about her too much,” Magnus said with a cold, humorless chuckle. “That’s bullshit. She just knew the truth. You were right from the beginning, Alec. I’m not as good as I pretend to be.”

“I wasn’t,” he countered. “I spoke from my own experience and I was wrong but -”

He took a step closer but Magnus rose a hand to stop him and Alec stopped dead on his tracks, looking every bit like a deer caught in the headlights, hazel eyes blown with astonishment.

“She was sick for three months,” Magnus said, and the ruthless reality made something painful tug in his chest. “Do you know how many times I called her in those three months? Twice. And I didn’t notice anything. The last time I called was two weeks before she died. She must have been pretty weak by then. But I didn’t care enough to pay attention. All I cared about was how annoyed I was with her for going on about how unhappy she thought I was.”

“Magnus,” Alec sighed. “You’re speaking out of anger -”

“Of course I’m angry!” Magnus yelled. “But that’s my problem to deal with! My mother died but whatever relationship we had had died way before she did. I’m stuck here, for what? An inheritance I don’t even want! She left everything to me but we didn’t even know each other anymore,” he exclaimed, gesturing vaguely to the canvases of the Magnus series that were back under the sheet against the wall. “I wasn’t there for her anymore than she was there for me. And I’ll be gone from here as soon as I can, so why do you even care?”

“We’re just trying to help,” Alec said calmly, lips pursed together.

“I don’t want your help!” Magnus shouted, the bracelets on his wrist clinking together with the harshness of his movements. “I’ve been on my own for fifteen years! I don’t  _ need _ your help!”

“You’re right,” Alec muttered, shaking his head in what looked a lot like defeat. “Why do I even bother?”

Without another word, he put his glass back on the piano and turned around.

The back door slamming behind him was what pulled Magnus out of his torpor.

Wrath left him all at once, the sound echoing in his ears like a brutal return to reality and he pondered on chasing after Alec to apologize for a second, if only for the way he had talked to him, but nothing he had said felt wrong.

These people weren’t his friends. This town wasn’t his home, no matter how hard he tried to fit in.

He was not only alone here but also incredibly lonely.

He sat down on the floor and waited for his dogs to come to him, kissing both their heads.

“I’m not brave anymore, babies,” he murmured, more to himself than to them. “I’m all broken and I don’t want to be brave anymore.”

Because his heart had bent, and bent, and bent again and it had survived every obstacle meant to break it until then but there was a piece of him missing now, something that had helped him mend it back together time and time again. And it was gone forever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on tumblr [@lecrit](http://lecrit.tumblr.com/) and on twitter [@_L_ecrit](https://twitter.com/_L_ecrit) ❤
> 
> Micro-cookie because I'm evil:  
>  _“I came to apologize,” Magnus said, clearing his throat as well as his head._
> 
> I'm working on the next part, which is most likely going to be very, very long, so have some patience. It should be up in about ten days ;) ;).
> 
> This was beta'd by my darling [Pravs](https://twitter.com/magnusbake). I love you to the moon and back.
> 
> All the love,  
> Lu.
> 
> Ps: More cookies to come on both tumblr and twitter, I promise ;).


	3. Bad Blood, Bad Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things started changing around him more quickly than he could keep up with, but those were good changes, he knew, so he didn’t bother himself too much about them.  
> The heat was still pregnant in the air but somehow, it was more breathable now. Slowly, surely, unconsciously, he was getting used to the life in Nashville and to its inhabitants’ odd kindness. It still wasn’t New York, it still wasn’t his home, but he found he didn’t hate it as much as he had so badly wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello pumpkins!
> 
> As promise, here is part three, just on time for Halloween, and there's a reason for that ;)
> 
> Many, many thanks to [Acerina](http://everydayfandom.tumblr.com/), [Roja](http://warlocksrune.tumblr.com/) and [Pravs](https://twitter.com/magnusbake) for beta'ing, commenting and all in all being of great help. I love you even though you make fun of my typos ❤.  
> Check out [this stunning gifset](http://sunstilinski.tumblr.com/post/152124873410/bright-lights-small-town-chapter-2-by-lecrit) of the second part of this fic by tumblr user sunstilinski. Thank you so much for doing this, you make me happier than words can tell.  
> Happy Halloween!
> 
> Ps: As always, use the #lecrit hashtag if you're live-tweeting. ❤  
> Ps2: The rating of this fic is justified.

**"I can't go on. I'll go on."**

**\- Samuel Beckett**

**“Et ma vie pour tes yeux lentement s’empoisonne.”**

**\- Guillaume Apollinaire**

/

Magnus was woken up by a rough but wet sensation on his face and it took him a few seconds to realize it was Bark Jacobs’ tongue rasping against his chin.

Magnus groaned, pushing his head away blindly with his hand. “No. That’s disgusting, BJ.”

The dog barked in answer and Magnus opened one eye to look at him, big brown eyes riveted on Magnus, tongue poking out of his mouth.

“What do you want?” Magnus grunted, wincing as his head throbbed painfully.

The reason why no one, not even his dogs, could respect the fact that Magnus was not a morning person would forever remain a mystery to him. Was it so hard to wait until ten in the morning until he had at least two coffees to bother him?

BJ barked again, tail wiggling with excitement and Magnus moaned in pain, rubbing a finger against his temple. Apparently it was.

“I’m sleeping, BJ,” he sighed, but to no avail.

As if on cue, the doorbell rang painfully in his ears and BJ closed his teeth around Magnus’ sleeve, pulling him off of the couch where he had fallen asleep the night before.

“Really?” he grumbled. “All that for Saul?”

He dragged himself to the front door, Bark Jacobs bouncing up and down happily next to him, and all but burst it open, blinking the fatigue out of his eyes. It wasn’t Simon standing there but Luke and Jocelyn. The kind smiles they were both sporting disappeared as soon as they took in his appearance and Magnus looked down at himself to understand. And he did.

He had drunk himself to sleep the night before, and hadn’t bothered to get out of his clothes before passing out on the couch. Which meant the mud had dried and he looked even more like a mess than he already had the night before.

“I fell,” he muttered in lieu of an explanation, feeling like a child being scolded by his parents even though neither of them had said a word yet.

“You smell like a distillery,” Jocelyn said, arching an eyebrow at him.

“That’s because I drank a distillery last night,” Magnus retorted boldly, crossing his arms over his chest in defiance. He was sure he would look much more impressive if he wasn’t covered in dirt.

“Can we come in?” Luke asked carefully, although his tone didn’t leave much room for negotiation.

“We brought breakfast,” Jocelyn added. “Simon couldn’t make it this morning so we dropped by the bakery.”

In the month and a half Magnus had been in Nashville, Simon hadn't missed breakfast once, but he didn't tell them that.

“Sure,” Magnus mumbled. “Make yourself at home, I’m gonna take a shower.”

Luke and Jocelyn walked in, stopping near the living room. Luke casted a worried look at the empty bottles laying on the coffee table near the couch, brow furrowed in concern. His shoulders tensed, forming a lean, broad line and Magnus hopped up the stairs before he could get lectured.

When he came back down, refreshed and smelling like jasmine rather than whisky, the coffee table had been cleared out, and Jocelyn and Luke had settled on the back porch with coffee and pastries, the dogs running around each other in front of them and chasing what seemed to be butterflies above their heads.

They were murmuring, leaning towards each other in this kind of close proximity you could only find with people who loved each other too much to stay apart for too long, Jocelyn’s hand leaning on Luke’s forearm in a casual way that suggested she didn’t even realize she was doing it. Magnus smiled, but something painful, too close to envy for comfort, tugged in his chest as he joined them on the porch. Their whispers immediately ceased and Magnus lifted an eyebrow but didn’t say anything, taking a seat in front of them and grabbing the coffee Luke had prepared for him.

“So, how are you doing?” Jocelyn asked with a wide smile, too wide to be fully sincere.

“I’m splendid,” Magnus replied half-heartedly, although he punctuated the words with a broad grin that didn’t seem to fool either of them. He quickly deflated, his shoulders slouching in defeat. “Are you going to tell me why you’re really here or are we going to pretend you didn’t ask Simon not to show up so you could come in his place?”

Luke sighed heavily and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Alec called me last night,” he said, and Magnus clenched his jaw.

“Yeah, I was rude to him and I’m sorry,” he cut in before Luke could go on, voice still rough from the alcohol abuse. “Did he have to call you to cry about it, though?”

“Actually, he was worried about you,” Luke retorted sternly, in a strict tone that truly made Magnus feel like a child being scolded. “Or at least, he was after he stopped telling me about how stupid you were in many crude words. He also told me how you almost set the house on fire a couple of days ago.”

Magnus sighed, bringing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around his legs, chewing on his bottom lip.

“I’m going mad,” he breathed out, eyes lost into space. “This place… It just brings to the surface everything I kept buried for so long and it just makes me realize all the unfinished business we had between us… And we’ll never have a chance to settle it, because for some reason she didn’t want me to know she was sick.”

“Magnus,” Luke said softly and he stood from his chair to bring it closer to his own, taking his hand in his and squeezing his fingers gently. “What is the last memory you keep from your mother?”

Magnus frowned, digging in his brain for the answer and eventually shrugged. “I guess it’s… the last time I talked to her, a couple of weeks before… before she passed away. She gave me the usual talk about how she wanted to make sure I was happy in New York. I thought she sounded tired, but when I asked her, she said she was doing fine and I was the most important thing I had to worry about.”

Luke hummed pensively, his eyes shining a little. “Now pick any memory,” he said. “Old or recent, it doesn’t matter. What comes to mind?”

Anger. Pain. Absence. Loneliness.

Magnus pushed all of these aside, focusing on everything else, and he was surprised to realize they weren’t so far away. They were right there, easily attainable in a corner of his mind, but he hadn’t tried to get to these before because his attention had been solely focused on the rage burning in his chest.

“When she offered BJ to me,” he said, turning around to see that his dogs were still happily playing around. “She was visiting me in New York and I had just broken up with my boyfriend. I had stopped living with Ragnor for a while so it was pretty lonely in my apartment. I told her that much on the first night she arrived and the next day, she took me to the adoption center in Brooklyn. I fell in love with him as soon as I laid eyes on him, so she bought him for me. It felt less lonely after that. I always had him waiting for me when I was coming home.”

Luke smiled a soft, gentle smile that didn’t reach his dark eyes. They were filled with sadness, shining with unshed tears. It was simple, such an easy feature of him, the vulnerability so pregnant in his usually always warm gaze that Magnus had trouble gulping.

And just like that, Magnus realized. He wasn’t the only one who had lost someone in the early days of June. Perhaps Luke, and Jocelyn, and Simon, and Alec, and all the other souls in this town who had known Annie also had regrets towards her, things they would have liked to tell her, moments they would have liked to change.

He wasn’t alone in his grief.

Acknowledging it didn't bring him the alleviation he longed for.

“Magnus,” Luke said, and cleared his throat before he went on, voice heavy with emotion. “Your mother lost a lot of weight in the three months she was sick. She had no appetite and her skin was gray. She could barely do two or three small things before she was too tired and had to sit down. She was in a lot of pain, she struggled to breathe, she lost her hair.”

Magnus’ eyes filled with tears and he shook his head, tightening his hold around his legs. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I know it seems unfair to you, and you would have liked to do something about it, but there was nothing you could have done that would have changed anything,” Luke replied quietly. “She had an aggressive cancer and she was gone in three months. Nothing you, or any of us, could have done would have changed that. She didn’t tell you because of that exactly. She knew what was going to happen to her, the doctor was very clear about it and she wanted you to keep these memories of her. Of the time she bought you a dog to help you get over a bad break-up. Of how much she cared for your happiness. Not of her sick, pale and suffering. We’re parents, we’re meant to take care of our children, not the other way around. And I think that’s what she did, even though it doesn’t feel like that right now. She protected you.”

Magnus heaved out a deep breath and he opened his mouth to answer, but the words died in his throat and he buried his head in his knees instead, hugging himself as tightly as he could.

“I miss her,” he choked out, and tensed as Luke’s arm wrapped around his shoulders, tugging him against his chest. “I miss her so much.”

“We miss her too,” Luke muttered.

Magnus sniffed, going limp against Luke’s chest. He let himself being lulled into a semblance of peace of mind by his embrace, until his anger was forgotten and all that remained was the screaming absence that was lingering in every room of the house, in every fiber of his being, in every memory he had of her.

“Magnus,” Jocelyn called out softly.

He untangled himself from Luke’s embrace, pulling his head out of its hiding place to look up at Jocelyn. She was standing in the threshold of the house, a canvas in her hand and he knew what it was before she even spoke.

“That’s how she saw me,” he breathed out in a small, fractured voice. “Sad, and dark, and sharp.” He paused, accepting the tissue Luke was handing him with trembling fingers. “A mess. Maybe I actually am all of that.”

Jocelyn frowned and looked down at the painting in her hands, confusion flashing in her eyes. Then, realization seemed to dawn on her and she smiled a sad smile, but yet equally tender. It was one of those smiles only mothers could manage, and it made the absence of his own even more unbearable.

“Oh, honey,” she muttered. “That’s not how she saw you. That’s how you saw yourself.”

Magnus’ brows knitted together and he threw her a perplexed gaze. “What are you talking about? These just scream pain,” he said, gesturing vaguely to the painting.

Jocelyn shook her head, a fond smile on her lips. “They don’t. They scream hope. Look at them again. Forget they’re about you. Look at them as if you were seeing them for the first time and you knew nothing about them.”

Curiosity tingled in his stomach and he rose to his feet, closing the gap between them in two steps. He grabbed the canvas from her hands carefully and turned it around in his own, with a reverent care he applied to all precious things.

Sharp, dark lines stared back at him, seemingly fighting for dominance and he sighed.

“Look again,” Jocelyn told him gently. “Look _better_.”

Magnus bit on his bottom lip, and focused his attention back on the painting.

Sharp, dark lines. A black void of despair, of regrets, of unspoken remorse.

And there it was, right in the middle of this mess. He didn’t know how he had missed it before because now that he could perceive it, it was all he could truly see. In the middle of the abyss his mother had painted, there was a beacon of light, like a ray of sunshine peeking through an array of thick, gray clouds after a storm.

It was hope, indeed, and it was more than that. It was life, pure and simple.

Magnus gasped and gave her back the painting, all but rushing to the living room to grab the other ones his mother had produced with him as her muse.

At first sight, they were the same, somber, morose and desperate, but now that he knew where to look, it was like seeing them for the first time, _truly_ seeing them.

They were actually full of light, and joy, and happiness, when you knew where to find them.

Much like Magnus himself.

Perhaps Annie had known him better than he had thought. Perhaps they hadn’t been as broken as he had fathomed.

Perhaps there was hope to mend his broken heart still.

“We have to go to work,” Luke said behind him. “Are you gonna be okay?”

“Yeah,” Magnus said, and was surprised to realize it didn’t feel like a lie.

“Let me know if you need anything. And next time you feel like drinking until you pass out on the couch, call me. Or anyone, really. We just want to help you and I know you’ve got your pride, but it’s not out of pity. We just want you to be okay.”

Magnus nodded, eyes still riveted on the painting, heart swelling up with relief.

“And apologize to Alec,” Luke added sternly, in a paternal voice that brought a smirk to Magnus’ lips.

“He likes baked goods,” Jocelyn whispered graciously in his ear, before pressing a kiss to his temple.

Magnus chuckled under his breath. “I can’t bake.”

“Ask Simon,” Jocelyn winked at him. “He was actually sad not to come around this morning.”

Magnus rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t have hidden the smile tugging at his lips even if he had wanted to. He turned around to accompany them to the door, feeling lighter than he had when he had first opened it an hour ago.

“Thank you,” he said sincerely.

“Call me,” Luke simply replied, pointing two fingers at him in warning. “Don’t wait until the next mental breakdown.”

“I won’t,” Magnus promised and waved at them as they climbed into Luke’s car.

He swirled around and startled when he found himself glancing down at Buck, who had somehow found his way into the house and was sitting in front of him, his tail wiggling with enthusiasm.

“Hello darling,” Magnus said, reaching out to pat his head. “How do you bake? And what do you bake to apologize to your not-friend but maybe-possibly-friend-if-you-haven't-ruined-everything exactly?”

Buck barked energetically in answer.

“Yeah, okay,” Magnus agreed. “I’ll call Seth. But really, he’s your dad. You could at least be more helpful. Especially after all the treats I gave you.”

Another enthusiastic bark was all the reply he got.

.

It turned out Alec’s favorite thing in the world, according to Simon, was cheesecakes.

Simon blabbered for fifteen minutes about how his time in New York had gotten him addicted and he still tried to bribe Simon into baking some for him every once in awhile.

Now, Magnus was a decent cook. He had two or three dishes that were his speciality and all in all, he was even pretty good. But a baker, he was most certainly not.

So he let Simon guide him through the recipe on the phone, copying meticulously every step he was instructed. He changed a few things because he didn’t have proper cream cheese and that much sugar shouldn’t be legal, but otherwise he was pretty obedient. He didn’t even sigh when Simon launched himself on a thorough listing of the best cheesecakes he had had in his life.

By the time Magnus’ masterpiece was in the oven, Simon was at Cheesecake #12, which had been “good but too much vanilla, you know, vanilla is good but you need to be careful with it or it spoils the whole thing”. Magnus was tempted to put his head in the oven too in order to put an end to his ordeal.

“Hey, Izzy told me you’re going back to New York soon,” Simon said eventually, when his list - a top twenty, Magnus deserved a medal for not hanging up on him - was finally over.

He sounded a hint dejected at the idea, and Magnus couldn’t help but smile, although he never would have admitted it. Simon cared so genuinely, so wholly that it was hard not to get attached to him.

“It’s just for a week,” Magnus said. “Ten days at most. I can’t miss Fashion Week.”

“You gonna see that Bitchmille?” Simon asked, in such an uncharacteristic flat tone that Magnus was immediately suspicious. He had completely forgotten he had even talked about Camille to Simon.

“Probably. She’s a former model and now she works as a fashion reporter for Elle Magazine. I always run into her during Fashion Week.”

Simon hummed pensively, but didn’t reply and now Magnus was really concerned.

“Why are you asking? And why are you so quiet? What’s going on with you?”

“I don’t know,” Simon mumbled. “It’s just you told me how she hurt you and I know you’re… vulnerable right now. I don’t want her to take advantage of it.”

There it was, Simon’s legendary lack of tact. But Magnus couldn’t blame him for it, because this time, it just made something warm flutter in his chest.

“You’re a good man, Simon,” he said truthfully. “Don’t change. But I can take care of myself, and I can deal with Bitchmille, trust me.”

“Okay.”

“Now, what do I do after I take the cheesecake out of the oven?”

“Don’t think I didn’t notice you called me by my real name, you sappy asshole,” Simon chimed in, the grin evident in his voice.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Spencer.”

.

Magnus had eaten cheesecake before and he was pretty sure it was not supposed to look like the one he had baked, but it seemed edible and that would have to do. He put it on a plate, took a knife out of a drawer and headed outside.

The mid-August heat was sweltering and oppressive, the lack of any wind rendering the air suffocating. It felt like stepping right into an inferno, the pond shining under the beating sun like a molten mirror.

Magnus crossed the path to Alec’s house slowly, the grass burning under his bare feet, the three dogs trotting blissfully after him, seemingly unaffected. This quickly proved to be wrong, however, as Buck ran off to the side and straight in the pond, barking happily as he splashed drops of water on his trail.

Magnus’ eyes widened and he jogged after the dog, only to be stopped dead on his tracks by a lighthearted laugh reverberating over the clear water like rain.

“Hey Bucky,” Alec chuckled as his dog paddled his way to him.

He was swimming in the pond, dark hair plastered on his head, body glistening with water and Magnus’ brain would have frozen if the brutal warmth had allowed him. It melted instead.

“Magnus?” Alec called out, arching an eyebrow at him.

“Cheesecake,” Magnus blurted out eloquently, his eyes fixed on the way the perfect clarity of the water flowing against his limbs gave him an unbeatable view of Alec’s body.

He blamed the heat. And his nonexistent sex life.

“What?” he exclaimed, brow furrowed in confusion.

“I came to apologize,” Magnus said, clearing his throat as well as his head, and held up the plate in his hands to show him. “I made a cheesecake. Samuel said they were your favorite.”

“You made me a cheesecake,” Alec echoed matter-of-factly. “To apologize. Who are you and what have you done to my extremely annoying and overly proud neighbor?”

Magnus rolled his eyes dramatically and walked closer, stepping on the wooden platform that overlooked the pond.

“I’m sorry I lashed out on you,” he said, sitting down to dip his toes in the water. It was cool and refreshing and it sent a wave of delicious shivers down his spine. “You were trying to help and I overreacted. I’m easily overwhelmed these days and I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m used to being in control of my emotions and I’m… not an angry person by nature, so I’m terrible at handling it. Anyway, I’m sorry and apparently people around here offer food for every possible reason so I made you a cheesecake.”

Alec stayed immobile for a while, staring at Magnus with a blank look that lasted long enough that he had to resist the urge to squirm uncomfortably. Then, he swam towards Magnus slowly, the ghost of a smile on his lips, and leaned both his elbows on the platform, his biceps flexing as he rested his weight on them to get a glimpse of the plate Magnus had put down next to him. Not that Magnus was staring.

“Thank you,” Alec said, the green in his eyes shining like never before under the late afternoon sun. “I hope you know that from now on, I’ll expect a cheesecake every time you’re acting like an ass. That’s gonna make a lot of cheesecakes.”

The smirk on his lips disappeared when he focused his attention on the cake, ignoring Magnus’ scoff of indignation. He cut himself a piece and took a bite, chewing greedily with a childish excitement that Magnus didn’t find endearing at all.

“Magnus,” Alec mumbled apologetically through a mouthful, his nose scrunching up slightly. “This is the worst cheesecake I’ve had in my entire life.”

Magnus’ mouth dropped opened and he gasped at the affront. “What? How dare you? I spent hours doing it and I followed Sean’s instructions thoroughly. I might have changed a thing or two but I was very meticulous about everything else and -”

Alec cut him off by shoving a piece of cake in his mouth, throwing him a pointed glare as Magnus chewed, his face leisurely pulling into a disgusted grimace.

“Oh God, this is repulsive,” he admitted, swallowing his own saliva to get rid of the stale taste lingering on his palate.

Alec snorted, his lips curving at the corner and he shifted to the side to face Magnus, fingers hooking around his ankles under the water. His grip was firm and strong but delicate all at once, and Magnus didn’t let his imagination run wild on the possibilities this new piece of information could bring because those were inappropriate thoughts to have about a not-exactly-but-possibly friend.

“Remember what happened when I apologized to you?” Alec muttered, a mischievous spark lighting up his mesmerizing gaze.

“Which time?” Magnus retorted, lifting a challenging eyebrow. “When you gave me a ride back from the police station and gave me the least honest apology of all time or the second time?”

“The second time,” Alec replied simply, but the look in his eyes announced nothing good. “Get your phone out of your pocket, Bane.”

Magnus frowned, confused, and then it came back to him. Him, pouring a entire jug of water over Alec’s head, giggling blissfully under Alec’s murderous glare.

“Oh, no,” he breathed out, shaking his head. “No, no, no.”

“Oh yeah.”

“Nope,” Magnus said, the word popping out of his mouth with a slightly desperate edge to it. “I’m fully clothed. I’m wearing makeup.”

“That’s too bad,” Alec muttered tauntingly, but his smirk only broadened and his grip tightened on Magnus’ ankles when he tried to get up. “I mean, your apology was alright but that cheesecake was awful so I guess we have to find another way to have you forgiven, don’t we?”

Magnus glared at him, but plucked his phone out of his pocket to throw it carelessly on the side, because he had a feeling this was a battle he was going to lose.

“You’re not throwing me in the water, Alexander. There might be weird animals in there. And I don’t mean you, I mean alligators!”

He yelped when Alec tugged on his ankles, gripping the edge of the platform for dear life.

“No!” he yelled. “Alec! I’m wearing designer clothes!”

“I’m sorry,” Alec chuckled. “I can’t hear you, I must have some water left in my ears.”

“I hate you,” Magnus deadpanned, wiggling to get out of his grasp, but nothing he did seemed to be effective.

Alec let go of one of his ankles and Magnus shouted triumphantly, squirming around to crawl away but Alec simply held himself on one arm on the platform, the other hooking behind Magnus’ back and he froze, blinking at Alec who was suddenly invading his personal space, naked, dripping chest plastered against his own.

“You’re a terrible person,” he murmured firmly when Alec pulled him a little closer to the edge.

“I know,” Alec retorted, lips still pulled into a conceited smirk. “It keeps me awake at night.”

“I’d gladly keep you awake at night if you weren’t such an ass,” Magnus countered, but the heat was lost in his breathlessness.

“Plug your nose,” was all the warning he got before Alec pushed vigorously on his legs and all Magnus could do was yelp before he was immersed under water, the coolness drinking away his body heat.

When he emerged again, hair flopping over his forehead and in his eyes, Alec was floating a few steps away from him, biting his bottom lip on a laugh and Magnus pushed his hair back for the sole purpose of sending him the most murderous glare he could muster.

“This look alone is better than all the cheesecakes you could have baked,” Alec said, hiding his broad grin by burying half his face in the water.

“If I get eaten by an alligator, it’s on your conscience, Lightwood,” Magnus hissed, but he could feel a traitorous smile tugging at his lips.

“I can live with that.”

Magnus squirmed out of his drenched shirt and his pants, carelessly throwing them both on the platform. Buck, Jimmy Chew and Bark Jacobs, who had been busy sniffing the forgotten cheesecake, startled, but quickly refocused on the cake, greedily engulfing the whole thing.

“At least it’s not wasted,” Alec snorted.

Magnus, now stripped to his underwear, glared at him and splashed water his way with a wicked satisfaction. Alec blinked, drops falling from his eyelashes.

“You didn’t.”

“Oh, but I did,” Magnus replied with an innocent smile. “What are you going to do about it?”

Alec scoffed out a quiet laugh and swam closer. Magnus writhed away from him but Alec grabbed his ankle, using his other hand to push Magnus’ head under water again, releasing him almost immediately.

He exhaled deeply as he rose back to the surface. Alec was cut off mid-laugh by Magnus retaliating.

.

“I give up!” Magnus exclaimed half an hour later, his stomach hurting from too much squirming and just as much laughter. “Enough!”

He laid sideway on the wooden platform, breathing heavily, skin already drying with the summer air. Jimmy Chew’s face appeared in his field of vision, blue eyes staring at him curiously and Magnus raised a hand to stroke his head.

“Attack,” he ordered breathily, pointing a finger at Alec, who was lying next to him, just as exhausted.

Alec chuckled when Jimmy Chew merely barked in answer, lapping at Magnus’ fingers. Bark Jacobs and Buck were both lying a bit further, bathing in the imposing shadow of the weeping willow.

“Jimmy couldn’t hurt a fly,” he commented.

“It’s Jimmy Chew, Alexander,” Magnus deadpanned. “Respect him in his full glory.”

Alec rolled his eyes. “You’re ridiculous.”

Magnus didn’t reply, smiling up at the sky, white marble clouds scattered on blue satin, thin enough for the sun to keep beating down despite the late afternoon.

“I’m starving,” Magnus whined. “Alec, do something. I don’t think I can move.”

“What am I supposed to do about it?” he replied bemusedly.

“It’s your fault,” Magnus retorted. “You’ve exerted me. And not the fun kind of exertion.”

“Do I even want to know?” chimed a familiar voice from somewhere above them.

They glanced up in a same movement, although they didn’t move to sit up. Isabelle was staring down at them in her police uniform, arms crossed over her chest, a devilish smirk tugging at the corner of her lips.

“I tried to drown Magnus in the pond,” Alec explained. “I failed. He’s a fierce little thing.”

Magnus kicked him in the shin. “Call me little again, you freaking giant,” he muttered menacingly.

“Did you hurt your foot?” Alec said tauntingly and pushed himself up to rest on his elbows, gazing down at him.

“Shut up and feed me. I need food,” Magnus grumbled dramatically.

“You can eat what’s left of your cheesecake if you don’t fear for your life,” Alec smirked, and fully laughed when Magnus showed him his middle finger.

“I brought pizza,” Isabelle chipped. “There’s enough for the three of us.”

“Pizza,” he sighed dreamily.

“Come on,” Alec said, sitting up completely. “I’ll let you share our pizza if you promise never to bake for me again.”

“It’s the intention that matters, Alexander,” Magnus retorted, pouting slightly. “I tried and therefore you should be nicer to me.”

“Fine,” he said, offering him a hand to help him up. Magnus let himself be pulled back to his feet, landing gracefully in front of him. “It was very nice of you to bake me a disgusting cheesecake, Magnus,” Alec added, voice heavy with sarcasm, although it was devoid of any heat. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Alexander,” Magnus replied with a grin. “And I apologize in advance.”

“For what?”

“This,” Magnus said, and promptly pushed him back in the water, grin broadening at Alec’s surprised cry, his arms flailing in the air for a second before he landed with a splash.

He swirled around to face Isabelle in an elegant flourish. “Izzy, darling, I love the nail polish. Totally your color.”

Isabelle gave him a pointed glare, pursing her lips in an obvious attempt at stifling a laugh.

“Bane, I’m going to kill you,” Alec called out in his back.

“Lieutenant,” Magnus gasped dramatically. “Did you hear that? My neighbor just threatened to kill me. Please arrest him, I’m scared for my life.”

“Honey, I’d help my brother bury your body if he were asking me,” Isabelle retorted with a smirk.

“I’m going to Fashion week next month,” Magnus replied mischievously without missing a beat, rubbing his chin in staged reflection. “What am I going to do with all those free samples? And all those gift bags?”

Isabelle stared at him for a moment, one eyebrow raised in defiance.

“Valentino, Izzy,” he added, heaving out an exaggerated breath. “Even I can’t rock those rain boots…”

That was a lie: he could totally rock those rain boots, but he was not above denying it if it could mean pestering an excessively smug veterinarian.

“Stop trying to corrupt my sister,” Alec chastised him as he joined them, naked skin glimmering under the late afternoon lights. “Blood is more important than -”

“Sorry Alec,” Isabelle cut him off with an apologetic pat on the shoulder. “I’m gonna have to stand with Magnus here. Can’t let you kill him after all.”

“You would sell out your own brother for rain boots?” Alec exclaimed accusingly.

“Of course not!” Isabelle gasped, clearly offended. “I’m a guardian of the law and murder is illegal. I’m just doing my job.” She paused, fingers dancing in the air dismissively. “Besides, it’s not rain boots. It’s _Valentino_ rain boots and a Johnny Was scarf.”

“I didn’t say anything about a Johnny Was scarf,” Magnus protested, but promptly shut his mouth when Isabelle threw him a pointed look, one perfectly-shaped eyebrow curved in challenge. “Well, that backfired quickly,” he sighed in defeat.

“It’s always great doing business with you, Magnus,” Isabelle quipped, a wide grin lighting up her dark eyes and she swirled around to grab the pizza boxes out of her car, unfazed by the three dogs bouncing after her.

“Rule number one when it comes to Isabelle,” Alec said smugly next to him. “Never ever make a deal with her.”

“You could have warned me before.”

“Oh excuse me, Your Highness,” Alec taunted. “I was too busy getting out of the pond you threw me in.”

Magnus smirked, casting a conceited glance his way. “I regret nothing.”

He picked up his discarded clothes, still wet although they had dried off a bit, and followed Isabelle inside Alec’s house.

If he added an extra roll to his hips as he did, no one could prove it.

.

If August flew rapidly, Magnus didn’t notice. To him, it felt like time had slowed to a trickle so he could make up for the time he had lost when he had first arrived here.

Magnus started going out again. Clary had officially - albeit not _officially_ \- hired him to help organize the big wedding she - or more accurately, Jocelyn - dreamed of and he thus spent most of his afternoons with her and Jocelyn while his mornings were punctuated by Simon’s early visits, Alec joining them when he wasn’t on a rush to go to work after his morning run, and working on whatever article was expected of him. His evenings were mostly spent on the porch, either on the phone with his friends or, more often than not, with Alec and any of his friends who cared to join them.

Things started changing around him more quickly than he could keep up with, but those were good changes, he knew, so he didn’t bother himself too much about them.

The heat was still pregnant in the air but somehow, it was more breathable now. Slowly, surely, unconsciously, he was getting used to the life in Nashville and to its inhabitants’ odd kindness. It still wasn’t New York, it still wasn’t his home, but he found he didn’t hate it as much as he had so badly wanted to.

It was early September when he got back to the house from the downtown market to step into a furnace. As much as the house was beautiful, the Gothic structure striking stunningly next to the pond, it was also old and poorly insulated, which meant the heat easily crept its way inside when the air conditioning system was off.

And it was when he stepped inside, but Magnus hadn’t been crazy enough to turn it off. With a sigh, he dropped his shopping bags in the kitchen and took the stairs down to the basement, the wood creaking beneath his feet.

He stood for a while staring at the machine - and enjoying the fresh air in the room - before he came to the only conclusion he could have drawn: he had no idea what to do.

Magnus was good with his hands in situations that involved writing an article about the latest trends or heated bodies pressed together, preferably without clothes on. This was, sadly, not one of those moments.

A loud bark resonated behind him and he jumped, bringing a hand over his heart as he evened out his breathing again.

“Yeah, yeah,” he told BJ, going back to the stairs. “I’m calling him.”

BJ blinked up at him, looking oddly content with Magnus’ decision. He rolled his eyes and fished his phone out of his pocket, barely surprised to find Alec in his first last dialled numbers.

Alec picked up on the second ringtone. “Hey,” he said immediately. “I’m in the middle of something, can I call you back?”

“I’m going to die, Alexander,” Magnus replied reasonably.

“I’m pretty sure you’re not,” Alec disputed.

“But I am. My air conditioning system is broken. I’m literally living inside Mount Doom right now.”

“Excuse me for a second,” Alec said, voice slightly muffled and there was a shuffling noise for a moment before he spoke again, “You spend too much time with Simon,” he then deadpanned. “I think I would have noticed when I left for work this morning if there was a huge eye of fire above your house.”

“You’re just as much of a nerd as Simon,” Magnus countered. “You’re just too proud to admit it.”

“I’m hanging up now.”

“No!” Magnus called out desperately, stepping outside on the back porch. The air was somehow cooler here and he breathed out a sigh of relief when a light breeze came to soothe his heated skin. “You can’t let me die, Alexander!”

“You’re not going to die,” Alec replied, rolling his eyes. Magnus couldn’t see him, but he just knew he did. “Look, stay outside, get some ice from the freezer and drink cold water until I get back. I’ll have a look. I’m picking up some burgers from Java Jace on my way back, okay?”

“Yeah, if I’m still alive,” Magnus said, and it coaxed an amused scoff out of Alec. “Hey, can you do the fixing of my air conditioning without a shirt on? You know I love to combine business and pleasure.”

“Bye Magnus,” was all the answer he got before Alec hung up on him, although it was layered with mirth.

He chuckled and did as he had been told, filling a big jug with water and ice before he settled on the porch with his laptop, opening the pre-Fashion week article he had due for the following week. Jimmy Chew leaped to lay next to him on the long chair, resting his chin on his thigh while Bark Jacobs sat on top of the stairs, looking over the garden and the path that led to Alec’s house expectantly, clearly waiting for his furry friend, who would certainly join them soon enough.

Magnus smiled fondly and focused back on the blank page staring at him, fingers dancing over the keyboard.

It was the unusual sound of BJ growling that pulled him out of his work an hour later. Magnus frowned, setting his laptop on the ground and rising to his feet just in time to see Robert Lightwood appear from the side of the house.

Magnus groaned out loud, completely unabashedly, but his annoyance turned into curiosity at the sight of the younger man following after Robert, blond hair accentuating an already pale face, high cheekbones and green eyes striking sharply next to Robert’s grimmer looks.

“Mr. Bane, hi,” Robert called out with an overly polite smile.

“Robert,” Magnus greeted sternly. “I’m starting to wonder if you’re not stalking me, you know.”

“Actually, I was the one who wanted to meet you but we should have called first. I apologize,” the other man said, stretching a hand out. He had a nice smile, perfectly aligned teeth as white as marble, and it lit up his eyes, the sun reflecting in them like beacons of lights. He had a nice smile, and yet it made Magnus’ skin crawl. “I’m Sebastian Morgenstern. I’m sorry I couldn’t meet you before. I was in New York for the summer, for business.”

Magnus shook the outstretched hand, an uncomfortable quiver running down his spine.

“I would invite you in but the air conditioning system is broken,” he said with a wry smile.

“Can we take a seat?” Sebastian asked, seemingly unperturbed.

Magnus slid his hands in the pockets of his pants, gesturing for them to do so with a jerk of his chin.

There was something about his voice, a polite undertone that found echo in the softness of his green eyes. At first sight, he looked like a decent guy, probably even good, but the way he moved, his exaggerated kindness didn't feel genuine. It felt robotic, like he was commanded to do so by a greater force, but would have rather abandoned the façade altogether if it depended solely on him.

The fact that BJ hadn't stopped growling at the stranger didn't help alleviate Magnus’ suspicions.

“He's a little rascal, isn't he?” Sebastian asked with a smooth chuckle, gesturing toward Bark Jacobs with a wave.

“Actually, he's a darling,” Magnus retorted, crossing his arms over his chest sternly. “And a great judge of character.”

Something flashed in Sebastian's eyes for a second, but it was gone too quickly for Magnus to properly analyze it.

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and looked up at Magnus with a determined glance.

“You don't trust me,” he said with a smirk.

“I don't know you,” Magnus replied matter-of-factly, “but my dog doesn't like you and I trust his judgment.”

“Fair enough,” Sebastian allowed with a quick nod. “But you don't have to like me to do business with me, Mr. Bane, do you?”

Whatever Magnus had been expecting, it wasn't the blunt honesty that suddenly transpired from Sebastian's attitude, like he had understood that fake smiles and polished courtesy weren't going to work on Magnus so he had opted for another strategy.

“No, I don't,” Magnus said truthfully.

Sebastian's smirk grew wider and he propped back in the chair, crossing his fingers over his stomach nonchalantly.

“I work for and with Mr. Morgenstern and his father,” Robert chimed in. “They're the ones interested in buying your house.”

“I came to make you a first offer,” Sebastian added, now all bold confidence. “Negotiable, of course but I'm sure you'll find it quite interesting  as it is.”

Without further ado, he rummaged in the inside pocket of his suit jacket, handing over a neatly folded piece of paper.

“This is considering the work that would have to be done inside the house,” Sebastian said. “This is an old building, I'm sure you've noticed some squeaky floorboards or that the electric circuit could be changed, if only that.”

Magnus unfolded the check and glanced down at the numbers, suddenly feeling dizzy. That was a lot of zeros.

Sebastian smirked. “As you can see, we are very interested.”

“What do you want to do with the house?” Magnus asked in as detached of a tone he could muster.

This whole thing smelt like utter bullshit to him, but he could recognize the check was real and he had no doubt, from his attitude only, that Sebastian Morgenstern had such an amount of money to throw away carelessly. He was the epitome of white, rich, straight, and arrogant and those things put together weren’t Magnus’ favorite combination when it came to doing business.

“Not much,” Sebastian replied. “Merely to renovate it. Maybe turn it into a small hotel. Tourists are always looking for the kind of bucolic setting you've got here.”

He gestured toward the pond, the water crawling peacefully against the shore. It was indeed stunning, and Magnus had seen a lot of beautiful, breathtaking landscapes in his life, but the pond had something unique about it, something magical that was precious and pure.

Magnus hummed pensively, handing him back the check.

“No, thank you.”

Sebastian blinked, his lips parting slightly with shock.

He looked like someone who wasn't used to being told no, and Magnus was more than happy to be the first one.

“This is a lot of money,” he argued.

“I have more money than I know what to do with,” Magnus retorted. “I'm starting to like this house and I don't want tourists invading it and spoiling what is great about it.”

“You mean the ruin it is starting to become?” Sebastian countered with a scornful smirk. “Have you noticed a part of the roof is damaged? That's not mentioning the ancient electric circuit and your defectuous air conditioning system. It needs to be renovated and we're willing to pay for that. It wouldn't be a big hotel, so there are no risks of tourist invasion.”

Magnus pursed his lips, rubbing his thumb and his middle finger together.

“You don't have to sign anything today,” Sebastian told him in a reassuring tone that left Magnus perplex. “You can't sign anything anyway as long as you haven't lived here for six months, from what I've gathered.” He waited for Magnus to nod, as stiff as it was, and smiled. “I'm just asking you to consider it.”

“I'll think about it,” Magnus allowed, although his mind was already screaming a resounding no. “That's all I can presently offer.”

“It's already more than I hoped,” Sebastian replied, his grin broadening as if Magnus had told him he was giving him the house for free.

Magnus didn't reply, his attention averted by a sudden bark and he looked over the pond to see that Buck and Jimmy Chew had stopped playing together because the mutt was now dashing off the grass in full speed. Magnus understood what was going on a second too late. He heard Alec's chuckle as he greeted his dog and stepped down the porch to meet him, not before noticing how Robert had frozen entirely.

“So, you're not dead after all,” Alec sneered as he caught sight of Magnus when he turned at the corner of his house. “Or are you a ghost?” he added playfully, reaching to touch his shoulder as if to make sure he was really there.

Magnus widened his eyes, trying to convey with a glance what he couldn't say with words, to form some kind of warning. He wasn't sure what the story was between them, but from the tone of Alec's voice when he had told him he didn't talk to his parents anymore, Magnus knew it couldn't be good.

“What?” Alec asked, lifting an eyebrow in inquiry. He stepped on the porch before Magnus could stop him and went still at once, breath stuttering in his throat.

“Alexander,” Robert said sternly, as if he was greeting a business partner instead of his son.

“It’s Alec. What are you doing here?” he gritted out through clenched teeth, his shoulders petrified with tension.

“I could ask you the same question.”

Magnus scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest, throwing Robert a pointed glare, making it clear with a simple gaze that only one of the Lightwoods present right then was welcome on his porch, and it unquestionably wasn’t the eldest one.

“I'm visiting a friend,” Alec retorted coldly, and Magnus had all the troubles in the world hiding the surprise from his features. “Not that it is any of your concern.”

He turned back towards Magnus without another word, his jaw set into a rigid line. “Here,” he said, holding him out the bag from Java Jace in his hand. “I’m going inside.”

“Alec,” Robert called out strictly and he froze, his only movement the one of his fingers rubbing together. Whether it was in nerves or in anger, Magnus wasn't sure.

“I have nothing to say to you,” he stated with devastating finality and disappeared inside without another word.

The silence that followed was heavy with tension, thicker than the moist heat in the air. Sebastian seemed oddly amused by the situation, a light smirk tugging at the corner of his lips but Robert mostly seemed angry, his brows knitted together, jaw flexing faintly.

“Well, gentlemen, I think it's time for you to leave,” Magnus said airily, with an elegant flourish that made his statement all the more definite.

Robert was first to rise up and he nodded sternly at Magnus before stomping back to the car with decided steps. Magnus could almost picture the smoke blowing out of his ears.

Sebastian was slower, a nonchalant grace to his movements. It was as if he took great and wicked pleasure in dragging the awkwardness as much as possible, thriving on the tautness surrounding them.

“Mr. Bane,” he said with a grin unfitted for the context, wide and preposterous. “Think about my offer. I'll come back soon to show you our renovation plans for the house.”

“There's no rush,” Magnus replied dryly.

He wouldn't mind never crossing paths with him again.

Sebastian seemed amused by his repartee, but he didn't reply and finally followed after Robert, chin up in the air, walking like men walked when they thought the world was at their feet.

As soon as he heard the car driving away, Magnus rushed inside and down to the basement.

Alec was facing the air conditioning system, his whole attention on the machine as he worked. If Magnus hadn't witnessed the scene he had a few minutes ago, he might have taken his expression for intense concentration only, but he wasn't fooled. Alec was angry, and Magnus had been the recipient of his wrath enough times to recognize it in the blink of an eye.

“He wants me to sell the house to him,” he said carefully, because he felt the odd need to explain, although he knew he didn't owe it to Alec.

“You can do whatever you want, Magnus,” Alec retorted, in a cold tone that Magnus had somehow grown foreign to in the past weeks.

It made his insides twist forlornly.

“I didn't say I would,” he muttered softly.

Alec's movements were sharp, almost brutal and Magnus pitied the poor defectuous machine for being the collateral victim of a family feud.

“You don't have to justify yourself to me,” Alec growled, but the raw edge of his voice suggested otherwise. “If you want to sell the house to him, do it. I can't tell you what to do.”

“No, but you can tell me why you're so angry instead of destroying my air conditioning system even more,”  Magnus said, laying a gentle, comforting hand on his shoulder.

“I'm not angry,” Alec snapped, and he seemed to realize the contradiction between his tone and his actions because his shoulders slouched in defeat and he blew out a deep sigh, letting go of the machine, palms up in surrender.

He blew out a shaky breath and closed his eyes. For a couple of minutes, he was gone, far away from Magnus’ basement and into his own reality, in the secrecy of his own mind and whatever conundrum he was fighting against.

When he opened his hazel eyes again, they were calm but equally portentous, like the fringe of a forest, appealing and intriguing but just as dangerous.

Magnus wondered how many of these roads Alec would let him explore.

“We’ll take care of that damn machine later,” Magnus said quietly. “You need to relax.”

“And what do you propose exactly, Magnus?” Alec said harshly, digging his nails in his thigh as if to distract himself from his own temper. The air shifted in the room as he took a step closer, more suffocating and oppressive than the lingering heat had ever made it. “Want me to start a fire and throw my father in there? That’s your solution to anger, isn’t it?”

Magnus blinked, lips parting in shock, but he quickly recovered, urging himself not to let himself be affected by Alec’s words. He knew he was speaking out of anger, but also helplessness, and Magnus wasn’t the only one who didn’t know how to deal with these. He had carried them like a second skin for far too long not to be familiar with the desperate flicker in Alec's gaze.

“Actually, I was thinking of drinking some Chardonnay and eating these burgers while bitching about your father, but I could be inclined to the burning him alive option if you can convince me,” Magnus replied, as composed as he could muster. “Which I’m sure you will, considering you’re angry enough to throw one of my vulnerable moments to my face.”

Alec seemed to pull out of his daze in a second, guilt flashing in his eyes as he rolled back on his heels. “I’m sorry,” he muttered softly. “There’s not many people who can make me lose my temper, but my father… he’s definitely one of them.”

Magnus pouted playfully. “And here I thought I was the only one. I thought I was special.”

The ghost of a smile curving Alec’s lips was a reward on its own.

“You are,” he said, and the sheer sincerity of his tone made something squirm in Magnus’ stomach. “You’re so annoying you run in your own category.”

“Score!” Magnus exclaimed cheerfully and he grabbed Alec’s hand to unceremoniously drag him out of the basement. “Come on. Burgers are the best comfort food I know. I do have other ideas that could efficiently keep your mind off things, but it’s too warm for that.”

Alec snorted, and let himself be hurled to the kitchen. “An episode of those weird reality TV shows you make me watch?”

“Sure,” Magnus replied, voice heavy with sarcasm, “that’s exactly what I meant, Alexander.”

Alec smirked and stepped away from Magnus to grab a bottle of wine from the fridge, before walking over to him as he produced two glasses from the cupboard. Alec leaned his hip on the counter as he opened the bottle, invading Magnus’ personal space without a single care in the world.

“I know what you meant,” he muttered, mischievous smirk still tugging at his lips. He held out an empty glass to him and Magnus took it wordlessly, blinking up at him. “And you’re right,” he added, pouring wine in the glass, “it is too warm for that.”

He grabbed his own glass, moving away in two steps, heading to the back porch. “Come on,” he called out. “Food’s gonna get cold.”

“It’s as hot as my fabulous self outside,” Magnus retorted, following him outside and slouching on a chair. “I think the food is good.”

Alec swept some perspiration off his forehead and settled next to him. “Even you are not that hot, Magnus,” he said teasingly.

“But you admit I’m hot.”

“I’m not answering that,” Alec smirked, and rolled his eyes at Magnus’ pout. “I’m not giving you material to feed your arrogance on.” He paused, taking a mouthful of his burger. “Besides, there’s no point in me confirming it if you already know it’s true.”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Magnus countered, biting on an onion ring. “Because it clearly was a yes.”

“It was a yes,” Alec endorsed, casually leaning on the chair to stretch his legs out.

They finished eating in a comfortable silence, lulled into a warm sense of peace by the light wind sweeping through the trees surrounding them, disturbing the dull waters of the pond into a pure but wild melody of a summer ending.

When the food had been discarded and it was only them, sitting on the steps of the porch, toes digging into the dry grass, Magnus filled their glasses again and presented one to Alec.

“Talk to me,” he said softly, gently nudging his shoulder with his own.

Alec was silent for a long while, staring at the alcohol like it held the answers to his worries, but it was obvious he was trying to find the right words, or at least the courage to say them, so Magnus gave him the time he needed. He stared into the distance at his and Alec’s dogs rolling eagerly in the grass near the shore of the pond, where it was humid enough to be pleasurable now that the sun was slowly setting.

“My little brother, Max, died of cancer four years ago,” he said eventually and Magnus felt something constrict in his chest in the worst way possible, his throat tightening instantaneously. “He was sick for two years before he did.”

Magnus shuffled a hint closer to him, leaning his weight against his arm in comfort and Alec shifted slightly so they would be more comfortable, but he didn’t move away.

“I’m sorry,” Magnus muttered.

Alec hummed in acknowledgment, but his eyes were distant, and he was rubbing his fingers together in a mannerism Magnus had learned to associate with nerves.

“The first six months, I was still back in New York so I didn’t see him much, although I visited as often as possible,” he went on in a soft, low voice that Magnus only heard because of how close they were. “When I came back, he was already weak, but he was… still Max. He had always been insanely smart and even in his hospital room, he had all these books and he had managed to charm the nurses into reading to him when he was too weak to do it himself. He was fighting so hard to stay himself despite the illness trying to rip him away from everything, and it got me thinking, about how I, his older brother, the one who was supposed to be his role model, couldn’t do the same. So I came out, to Max first, then to my other siblings… and then, to my parents.”

He paused then, his voice wavering and he bit on his bottom lip, inhaling deeply through his nose. Magnus brushed his fingers over his thigh in a comforting gesture and grabbed the hand he had tucked firmly on his knee, grazing his thumb along his own.

“My father,” Alec started but paused again, his jaw flexing faintly with resurfacing anger. He took another deep breath, and squeezed Magnus’ hand. “My father was never there. He was always working and he hardly took care of Max. It was always my mother, Izzy, Jace and me. We spent most of our days in the hospital while he came to visit once every two weeks and yelled at the doctors because Max wasn’t getting better. He barely spent any time with him.”

His eyes were stormy then, and his attitude when they had first met was suddenly clear as the setting sun reflecting in the pond. The accusations he had thrown to Magnus’ face with overwhelming vehemence made complete sense, and Magnus understood what had ignited such self-hatred in him hadn’t actually been the personal attack he had imagined.

“He completely flipped out when I came out,” Alec continued, and it was obvious he was struggling to keep a detached tone. “Calling me names and disowning me and all that shit would have been okay but…”

The words died in his throat, choking on the lump that had certainly settled there and Magnus let go of his hand to rub the nape of his neck, fingers digging in his hair to trace a soothing pattern there.

“You don’t have to tell me,” he murmured, sending him the most reassuring glance he could summon.

Alec’s lips pulled into the faintest smile, so clearly forced that it made Magnus’ heart sink in his chest.

“It’s okay,” Alec whispered back, shutting his eyes for a second. “We were fighting all the time, my father and I, and one day I lost it and I punched a wall before I ended up punching him. The next day when I went to visit Max, I was stopped at the door by a policeman.”

Magnus’ brows furrowed in confusion, although dread was creeping down his stomach and invading all his senses.

“My father had filed a restraining order in Max’s name against me,” Alec said, so faintly Magnus had to lean in to hear it.

He gasped quietly, eyes widening in shock. “What? On what ground?”

“Domestic violence,” Alec breathed out. “The fact that I tried to force my way in didn’t help. It’s a good thing Jace was with me, because I probably would have punched my father right then and made my case even worse.”

“What the fuck?” Magnus murmured.

Alec scoffed dejectedly. “Talk about fucked up families, right?” he said dryly, the sarcasm lost in the obvious hurt in his eyes. “So I hired a lawyer. Luke. We went to the local court in first instance. It was awful.” He ran a hand on his features and Magnus digged his fingers with a little more strength in his hair, massaging his head softly. “Max was still a minor, so he had very little agency on his own wills, and the fact that he was sick influenced his legal autonomy too, so basically, his word didn’t matter. Jace’s and Izzy’s voice were taken into consideration, but my father claimed I had manipulated them into taking my side so it didn’t help either in the end. As for my mother, she was so focused on Max being sick that she was mostly catatonic. She still testified against me though, because she was so passive to this whole thing that she just believed my father blindly.”

“I… I didn’t understand why my father was so adamant about this, why he was ready to tear our family apart because I had punched a fucking wall, until he mentioned my sexuality in court and it was all made clear. Apparently, according to him, there was a possibility that I would abuse my little brother since I was gay and we queer people have no control over our sexual pulsions.”

“Oh, Alec,” Magnus chimed in gently, throat tight with emotions. “I’m so sorry.”

Alec shrugged dismissively, as if to disregard this whole thing as irrelevant, but the ache was too easily readable in his gaze and in his whole posture for Magnus to be fooled.

“He had people testifying against me,” Alec continued, leaning against Magnus in what seemed to be an unconscious gesture. Magnus wrapped an arm around him, tugging him closer. “Telling lies about how I had a violent nature and I was dangerous for Max and I shouldn’t be anywhere near him, especially while he was sick. One of them was Valentine Morgenstern. He’s Sebastian’s father,” he added wryly, gesturing vaguely to wear the blond devil had been sitting an hour prior. “He’s also my father’s best friend. They’ve known each other since they were kids, they went to college together, they’re business partners, etc. Valentine is very rich, very powerful and a bigoted asshole, so he was more than happy to help my father make my life a living hell.”

“He sounds lovely,” Magnus stated, sarcasm dripping off of every word.

“I know,” Alec replied. “Ultimately, he’s the one who convinced the judge and she confirmed the restraining order, but that wasn’t the worst. They exposed my private life, how many boyfriends I had while in New York, how ‘deviant’ my way of life was, my supposed history of violence. They had one of my one-night stands from college testify against me, saying I had harassed him and threatened him physically.”

He inhaled deeply once more. “I was drained, and in shock, so I was ready to give up, but Luke convinced me to go the state court to have the decision reverted. He found proof - fragile, but proof anyway - that my father had influenced some of the witnesses into saying what he wanted them to say, and that Valentine had used his influence to convince the judge, and that he had paid that guy from college to testify against me. The sentence was annulled eventually, because even though we didn’t have clear, undisputable proof, there was too much suspicion around the whole case and I had a lot of people on my side who testified on my good behavior. Your mother was one of them.”

“He did all that because you’re gay?” Magnus breathed out bemusedly.

“He did all that because I’m gay, and because I told him to go fuck himself,” Alec corrected softly. “Because I refused to hide my sexuality when he ordered me to, because I didn’t care if it impacted his relationships with his bigoted clients. Because I told him once that despite my ‘deviant, unholy choices’, I was still more present for our family than he had ever been. Because I held my own against him, and my father realized he couldn’t control me anymore. So he tried to control me with legal means.”

“And here I thought my relationship with my mother was fucked up,” Magnus said, in a lame attempt at alleviating the mood, thick with painful reminiscence.

Alec’s lips twitched slightly, but it didn’t manage to bring a smile to his face. “I lost over a year fighting my father in court to be able to see my little brother and when I was finally allowed to, the cancer had already spread beyond repair. He died a month and a half later.”

He took another deep breath, but it hitched in his throat and he clenched his teeth instead to repress the tears that made his eyes shine under the fairy lights. Magnus moved before he could think twice and stop himself, pulling Alec under his arm, leaning his cheek against the top of his head. Alec went limp against him, a finger hooking absently in the hole of Magnus’ ripped jeans, brushing against the bare skin.

“Buck was Max’s,” he murmured, sniffing bashfully. “I had bought him for him a few months before he got ill. He named him Buck because The Call of the Wild was one of his favorite books. He kept saying how I had to take care of him when he died, and I told him every time that he would do that himself because he was going to make it. He made me promise, so I adopted him after… after Max died.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through all of that,” Magnus said after a while.

“You understand why I don’t like running into my father.”

“I’m not going to sell him the house,” Magnus muttered, so lowly it sounded distant to his own ears. “I think I’m going to keep it. I’d like to come back here every once in a while on vacation when New York is too much to handle.”

Alec hummed pensively. “That’s a good idea,” he replied thoughtfully. “Everyone is going to miss you when you leave. You’ve managed to charm everyone, even Mrs. Verlac from the flower market who pretty much hates everyone. It’s ridiculous.”

“And what about you?” Magnus asked teasingly, running his thumb on Alec’s scruffy jawline in a soothing gesture that ended on the bridge of his ear. “Are you going to miss me?”

Alec didn’t reply immediately, but he didn’t move away, head tucked in Magnus’ neck, dark strands of hair tickling against his skin.

“Yeah,” he whispered eventually. “But I won’t miss your cheesecakes, that’s for sure.”

“Understandable,” Magnus said, burying his smile in Alec’s messy hair.

“I’m glad we’re friends now,” Alec confessed and Magnus wished he could have seen his eyes as he did, but he didn’t dare to move and disturb the quiet peace they had found.

“Me too,” he said instead, vehemently ignoring the voice at the back of his mind telling him it didn’t sound as sincere as it seemed. “Want to go inside and watch one of my stupid reality TV shows now?”

“Your air conditioning system is still broken,” Alec retorted matter-of-factly.

“I know, the repairman is awfully incompetent.”

“What an ass,” Alec mumbled, and the smile was evident in his voice.

“That unfortunate impediment aside, he’s pretty great,” Magnus said softly.

Alec hummed pensively and shifted slightly, although he didn’t move away, only settled more comfortably against Magnus. “Well, I think he wants to stay here a little longer.”

“As you wish, my darling,” Magnus replied, pressing a kiss on his hairline.

A little longer turned out to be a long time, and his air conditioning system was only fixed the next morning, the house cool enough at night for him to sleep as peacefully as he did. He woke up drenched in sweat, though, and Simon sent him a funny look when he turned up with breakfast, but Magnus regretted nothing.

.

The next week passed quickly and was scattered by minimal incidents. The time his foot went through a wooden floorboard and he got stuck had Alec almost crying of laughter, and it took Magnus a couple of hours to gather the courage to call him when weird noises started coming up from his basement and he convinced himself the house was truly haunted. Alec was of no use when said basement was invaded by cockroaches and spiders, but it gave Magnus the occasion to tease him on how bad of a veterinarian he was because he didn’t love all animals equally, so it was worth it. At least, it was once Jace and Luke came over to help.

By the end of the week, Magnus was almost afraid to walk around the house and find what the ghosts haunting it - it was a certitude now - had in store for him. He was packing, suitcase open on the bed as he carelessly threw clothes inside.

“And yesterday, I ran myself a bath and the water was brown,” he complained with his usual restraint, his hands dancing in the air in exaggerated patterns. “Brown. If I wanted a mud bath, I’d go to the spa.”

“With your luck, you’d probably drown in it,” Raphael snarled, lips pulled in an amused smirk.

“I had to call a plumber this time,” he continued, ignoring his friend’s remark. “Alec couldn’t fix it. Apparently, it was some rusty pipe that broke and got soiled.”

“You know, you should really consider paying Alec because he’s your handyman at this point.”

“Well, he can drill, prime and nail me anytime,” Magnus retorted with a smirk.

“Do you talk like that about all your _friends_?” Raphael asked, putting extra emphasis on the word, the deadpan edge to his tone only accentuating how annoyed he seemed. “Because if you do, I’m not okay with it.”

“Only the really hot ones,” he quipped, holding out two shirts in front of him to ponder on which one to take with him, before shoving them both in the suitcase. “You’re not one of them.”

Raphael rolled his eyes dramatically. “Gracias a Dios.”

Magnus chuckled, dumping his vanity case on the suitcase before he closed the lid, tugging on the zipper to shut it.

“Why are you even taking so many clothes?” Raphael sighed unsympathetically. “You’ve got a dressing room full of clothes here.”

“Shut up,” Magnus groaned, sitting on the bag to force the zipper down. “Your sole knowledge of fashion is weird-patterned jackets that probably once belonged to a mafioso who had stolen it from the not yet cold body of his victim. You look like a vampire.”

“And you look like an idiot trying to close your suitcase,” Raphael countered, sending him an unimpressed glare.

“I am not leaving my Kenzo sneakers behind,” he grunted. “It’s going to close.”

He let out a victorious whoop when the zipper finally obeyed, and swirled around abruptly when a quiet snort echoed behind him, heart leaping in his chest. Alec was leaning in the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest, a taunting smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

“When did you get here?” he called out accusingly.

“Somewhere after ‘a mafioso stealing jackets from his victims’ corpses’,” he replied.

“And you couldn’t have helped?” Magnus exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air in exasperation.

“I could have,” he said, stepping inside the room, three dogs trotting after him. He stopped right in front of Magnus, his smirk widening wickedly, “But where would be the fun in that?”

Raphael snickered, his face lighting up with mischief through the screen and Magnus growled. “I don’t know why I’m letting you dog-sit my babies when you’re so untrustworthy.”

“Because I’m a great friend and I kindly offered my services,” Alec replied. “I’m nice like that.”

“You do nice things once in a while to give you good conscience,” Magnus rectified, “it’s not the same thing.”

“Maybe next time you find yourself without hot water, I’ll leave you to freeze to death then.”

“Magnus could do with a cold shower,” Raphael chimed in, the knowing edge of his tone painfully notable. “Or twenty.”

“Fuck off, Raphael,” he grumbled. “Why are you two teaming up against me? Do you have secret meetings to figure out your next move to come at me?”

“Yup,” Alec replied unabashedly. “We have bi-weekly meetings to figure out the best way to annoy you.”

“Now that you know, we’re gonna have to kill you, though,” Raphael added with a staged apologetic expression.

“Shame,” Alec sighed, shrugging.

Magnus threw him a pointed glare, then turned toward the screen to do the same with Raphael.

“I hate you both,” he said and leaned toward the laptop sitting on his bed to hover on the hanging up button. “Don’t forget to pick us up at the airport, asshole.”

“Will do, jerk,” Raphael replied and Magnus ended the call without further ado, swirling back around. “Why am I friends with you?” he asked Alec with an extravagant flourish.

“Because I fix all these things for you, I dog-sit while you're going away, I bring you food after work and I put up with you?” Alec offered. “And all for free.”

Magnus pulled a face, feigning deep reflection, biting on his bottom lip. “Nah,” he said eventually. “It’s mostly because of that glorious ass of yours.”

Alec scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I knew you only liked me for my body.”

“Never tried to hide it,” Magnus retorted with a smirk. “It’s the only thing that redeems you for all those horrible manners.”

“That, and the unfathomable patience I need to deal with you. You’re quite a handful.”

“Both metaphorically and literally, darling,” Magnus said with a teasing wink.

Alec huffed out in disbelief but didn't get a chance to reply, a loud honk echoing all the way from the backyard.

“That's your ride,” he said instead, reaching out to pick up Magnus’ suitcase.

“I do love a good ride,” Magnus quipped cheerfully, whistling softly for the dogs to follow them down the stairs. “I'm disappointed you didn't offer.”

Alec paused in the middle of the stairs to throw him a befuddled look over his shoulder and Magnus stopped right before he bumped into him. Alec blinked twice but quickly pulled himself back together, heading to the front door.

“Maybe next time,” he muttered quietly and it was Magnus’ turn to be rendered speechless, his skin catching on fire, heartbeats throbbing in his fingertips.

“Hey guys,” Clary called out cheerfully as she bounced her way up the stairs, dropping kisses on both their cheeks. “I'm so excited,” she added for Magnus’ attention and he simply nodded, not sure he could trust his voice.

Jace was following right after her and he smiled fondly at his fiancé's antics, hugging his brother before turning towards Magnus.

“Please make sure she doesn't run away with one of those stereotypical artists from New York,” he said. “She's been going on about all those exhibitions and galleries she's going to see all day long.”

“I will,” Magnus replied solemnly. “Unless he's more clever, richer, funnier and better-looking than you. Then I'll probably encourage her.”

“I was scared until you said better-looking,” Jace said with an arrogant smirk. “There's no such thing.”

“Come on, let's go,” Clary exclaimed eagerly, grabbing Magnus' suitcase from Alec's hand to get it in the trunk of the car.

“You heard the lady,” Jace said.

Magnus chuckled fondly, turning back towards Alec.

“Take care of my boys,” he instructed. “Don't let Jimmy Chew wander alone in the woods and Bark Jacobs needs -”

“Magnus, I know,” Alec cut in, eyes shining with something like fondness. “I'm a veterinarian. I'm quite certain I can deal with your dogs for ten days, even though they were raised by you.”

“Text me pictures of them?” Magnus requested somewhat bashfully.

Alec scoffed, but it was layered with affection. “Promise. Now go before you miss your flight.”

Magnus spent ten minutes saying goodbye to his dogs, and even then, Jace had to physically drag him away. He waved at Alec from inside the car, casting one last look to his dogs before the car turned in the forest and they were out of sight.

He was going home.

.

New York hadn't changed in the two months he had been away. Traffic was awful and Raphael’s groans of irritations and snarky comments were swallowed by the constant buzz of honks echoing all around them. They were surrounded by a sea of yellow cabs, and a few sirens flashed in the night, reflecting in his eyes and almost blinding him. The skyline was as stunning as it had been when he had left for Nashville, the setting sun reflecting in the wide windows of the skyscrapers of Wall Street.

He loved New York, its sheer insanity, its vivid energy. New York was buzzing no matter the season, no matter the time. It lived in black and white, but was never dull, never redundant.

At times, it was as chaotic as a war zone and Magnus had never looked for peace.

It felt familiar, like reuniting with an old friend that the heart had grown foreign of but still kept warm in a corner.

Stepping into his apartment was just the same, the well-known surrounding filling him with a sense of attachment that only subdued for as long as it could until he realized it felt slightly less like home when Jimmy Chew and Bark Jacobs weren’t there to ruin his plants and bark loudly at him to demand to be walked, petted or fed.

The thought was more fecund than he thought it would be, and it made other unwanted ones grow in a corner of his mind, but he hastily pushed them away.

Instead, he plucked his phone out of his pocket to check his text messages and sure enough, there was one from Alec. It was a picture of Isabelle and Simon, kneeling in the middle of Alec’s living room, clearly cooing at the dogs laying in front of them.

 _I think they’re doing ok_ , it simply said, but it reassured Magnus enough that he put his phone aside after shooting up a quick answer ( _you better not let them steal my dogs, Alexander_ ). He settled on the couch with Clary and Raphael to drink to his return to the Big Apple. He drank more than the occasion called for, and Raphael threw him pointed glances all night long, but Magnus ignored them, drowning his joy of being back home in tequila shots.

When he took the subway the next morning to get to the Vera Wang show - and got bumped into and asked to apologize twice, _oh home sweet home_ \- another text was waiting for him, this one featuring a video of a clearly very eager and completely drenched Buck running out of the pond, Bark Jacobs running after him, just as wet and happy.

“If anyone is stealing your dog, it’s Buck,” Alec’s voice chuckled, although he remained out of shot. “I’m keeping Jimmy Chew, though,” he added teasingly, and the camera moved to Alec’s feet, the husky pup obediently sitting at his feet, blue eyes shining with joy. Magnus sent back a selfie of him pouting, and could perfectly picture Alec rolling his eyes.

He was smiling when he got to the venue, and he was still smiling when he got out, and when he met Clary in Chelsea to check out the art gallery she absolutely wanted to see. The fact that his day was punctuated by various texts from Alec, whether they were pictures of the dogs or just casual - and sassy, because Alec was still Alec even through text - comments about his day.

But he wasn’t smiling anymore when he got in bed that night and couldn’t find sleep, staring at the ceiling until exhaustion waved through him and he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. There was a hole in his chest, and it was agonizing.

On the second day, he mastered his ability of concealing a laugh in a public setting by coughing when Alec sent him a picture of a cow whose head was stuck in a miniature toy car which certainly belonged to Tiberius, the son of the farmers who lived on the other side of the woods that surrounded the pond.

 _She was clearly too drunk to drive_ , Alec had written. _Reminds you of someone?_

 _I’m very aMOOsed_ , Magnus replied, and tugged his phone back in his pocket before he could unload his entire range of farm animals related puns.

That night, he turned and turned and turned in his bed until his eyes were aching from how tight he was holding them shut. His bed was cold, the silky sheets caressing his skin suffocating, and he felt like crying or shouting in frustration. He ended up writing his review of the shows he had seen so far until he all but passed out, laptop still open on his knees.

On the third day, he went to a show in the morning but spent the afternoon with Raphael and Catarina while Clary went to visit one of her mother's artist friend and he did his best to ignore his friends’ knowing looks every time his phone buzzed with a new text. Knowing looks that turned almost predatory in the evening when they went to Pandemonium and he spent half of his night feeling their gazes on his neck as he danced carelessly but gracefully among the sweaty and free-wheeling bodies, revelling in their proximity, basking in the feeling of men and women together brushing his heated skin in the most sensual way.

He had missed this, the freedom of abandoning himself to alcohol and strangers and the desire in their eyes as they raked over his moving hips, the curve of his neck as he threw his head back to enjoy the music pounding in his ear.

He fucked a gorgeous brunette in one of the private rooms of the club, her deep brown eyes as glassy as his own certainly were, lipstick smeared over her cheek by their heated kisses and yet, it didn't bring him the exhilarating feeling it usually did. Instead, when he went to sit back down next to Raphael, he felt a bit numb. Ashamed. And Magnus Bane had never been one to feel ashamed by something as trivial as sex.

“It's because of the vet,” Raphael told him before he could even open his mouth. “You like him, you dumb fuck. Fucking men and women you'll never see again won't change that.”

Magnus didn't reply, brow furrowed in reflection. More alcohol seemed like an appropriate answer to these unwanted heeds. It certainly was, because he didn't remember any of it the next morning, and he definitely didn't remember why he woke up in a stranger's bed in Manhattan.

He managed to find his clothes without too much trouble and got out of the apartment on his tiptoes, hopping on the first taxi he found to get back to his apartment. He took the opportunity to check out his phone during the trip, ignoring how his head was throbbing and his stomach aching.

 _You're an idiot_ , Raphael had sent.

 _Be safe,_ Catarina's text read.

There was one from Clary telling him she hoped he was having a good night and that she’d see him in the morning.

The last one was from Alec, a picture of the dogs snuggled together on the platform hovering above the pond. Magnus pondered on answering right away but something stopped him, a voice at the back of his mind, and he slid his phone back in his pocket instead.

The apartment was silent when he stumbled in and he went to look for Clary only to find her still fast asleep, tucked in the wide bed of his guest room, looking ridiculously tiny hidden under the purple sheets.

He took a shower, long and revitalising, and poured himself a strong coffee, slouching on one of the kitchen stool. He sipped it quietly, playing with his phone absentmindedly, twirling it between his fingers.

His thoughts went to Nashville. It hadn't taken long for him to go back to his habits in New York, going out, drinking, sleeping with a stranger - and looking fabulous even in the midst of a walk of shame. He had been doing it for years, fighting off any chance of settling in but it had never left him feeling apathetic like he was now, his stomach lurching with what were the aftermath of bad choices rather than too much alcohol.

He sighed and, before he could convince himself of what another terrible idea it was, grabbed his phone. Alec picked up on the second ringtone.

“Hey,” he panted, breathing heavily through the line.

Magnus checked the time on the oven. Alec was most likely coming back from his morning run. Clearly, they were having two very different mornings, not that it was surprising.

“Hey,” Magnus whispered softly, tracing intricate patterns on the kitchen counter.

“What's wrong?” Alec asked in a heartbeat, the frown audible in his voice, and Magnus felt his heart constrict in his chest. When had Alec begun to read through him so easily?

“Mmh? Oh, nothing,” Magnus mumbled when he recovered, even as slightly as it was. “Just a hangover.”

Alec chuckled. “Do I have to give you the speech about not driving while drunk again?”

“I don't think I drove,” Magnus said and he hesitated, for a reason he couldn’t quite fathom, before adding, “I didn't sleep at my place.”

The silence that followed was heavy, although Magnus wasn't sure with what exactly. He could hear Alec breathing on the other side, and he was certain it was his own heartbeats echoing in his ears.

“Oh,” Alec breathed out eventually. “Are you okay?”

The question was so devastatingly simple that Magnus had to refrain from slamming his head on the counter. Why had he even called Alec? It had been a terrible idea, because it left him aching all over, and those weren’t common soreness from his wild night.

“I don't know,” he sighed, cursing inwardly for not being able to lie, even through the phone.

Another silence, Alec inhaling deeply through the line. “Was the sex that bad?” he chimed and his usual teasing tone managed to lift a lump off Magnus’ chest, if scarcely.

“I don't know,” he said again,  rubbing the fingers of his free hand on his temple. “I don't remember.”

“Well, it must have been bad then.”

Alec was joking, and it should have made him feel better, like it always did, but Magnus just wanted to bury himself under layers of blankets and forget about this whole thing.

“Are you mad at me?” Magnus blurted out before he could stop himself.

“What?” Alec breathed out, and the ease with which Magnus could picture his bewildered expression was almost painful. “Of course not. Why would I be mad at you?”

“Because I'm stupid, and I make stupid decisions that I regret the next day but that I'll probably repeat anyway.”

“Magnus, you're not stupid,” Alec told him reassuringly, tone so gentle that it made him want to sob. “I'm your friend, I'm here to support you, not dig a bigger hole for you when you're feeling down.”

“I'm okay,” Magnus replied automatically, the lie rolling through his lips with years of practice.

Alec sighed heavily. “You're not. Want to tell me what's really wrong? I'm having trouble believing it's only because you had a one-night stand.”

Magnus shut his eyes, urging back the tears prickling at the corner, and balled his fist over the table, digging his nails in the flesh of his palm.

“I don't know.”

“Magnus, why did you call me?” Alec asked softly.

“I don't know,” he said, and tried to swallow past the lump in his throat again, in vain. “I’m so fucking lost,” he added, his voice barely above a whisper. “This is my home and… it doesn’t feel like it is anymore. But neither does Nashville.”

“You’re going through a rough time. It's okay to be confused. It's okay to make bad choices,” Alec said. “We all do. Especially in those moments.”

“I feel like that's all I've been doing,” Magnus confessed. “Even before she passed away, I've never been good at making the right choices. I don't think I can trust myself to decide what's good for me.”

“Do you want me to come?” Alec asked out of the blue and Magnus blinked, speechless for a second.

“Are we having phone sex?” he muttered, a light smirk tugging at the corner of his lips after all. “Because I think I missed the memo somehow or I wouldn't be killing the mood like I am.”

Alec snorted. “I'm serious,” he said. “I can take a week off. I'll drop the dogs to the practice, Lydia will look after them. If you need me, I can be there in a few hours.”

Magnus’ heart ached so violently the air was knocked out of his lungs and he inhaled deeply, but his head dithered anyway.

“No,” he whispered through gritted teeth. “Don't worry about me.”

“Too late.”

Magnus scoffed, the hint of a smile ghosting over his lips. “I'm not alone. Clary's with me. Raphael and Cat, too.”

“You're just as good as alone if you think you can't talk to them,” Alec reasoned.

“I can,” Magnus assured with all the confidence he could muster, although he felt guilt lurching his stomach at the thought that he had indeed been avoiding them, or at least he had dodged their attempts at talking about what truly mattered. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Okay,” Alec sighed. “The offer still stands. All you have to do is ask.”

“Is that all?” Magnus whispered seductively. “And yet, I remember asking repeatedly that you stop wearing shirts and you still do. Your double standards are terrible, darling.”

“If only you knew how to ask nicely,” Alec retorted, and the smile in his voice brought one to Magnus' face.

“Send me a picture of my babies, please?” he murmured, chewing on his bottom lip.

“Will do,” Alec pledged. “Call me next time you want to do something stupid, okay?”

“Oh Alec,” Magnus taunted. “I always want to do you.”

The laugh it managed to tear out of Alec was enough to bring a genuine smile to his lips.

When Clary stumbled in the kitchen half an hour later, she took the stool in front of him, red hair peeking in every direction, eyes still half shut, but somehow managed to give him an appraising glance.

“You look weird,” she blurted unceremoniously.

Magnus lifted an eyebrow, but didn’t reply.

“You’ve got that stupid smile on your face,” she clarified, “but you also have rings under your eyes darker than the wardrobe of the Night’s Watch.”

“Sometimes I forget you’re Sheldon’s best friend,” he smirked. “And excuse you, I look fabulous even after a walk of shame; it’s in my DNA.”

Clary snorted and blew out of her mouth to breathe away a loose strand of hair.

“Sure, Magnus,” she taunted. “So is denial, apparently.”

Because he had always been an eloquent person, he chose the mature answer and picked up a strawberry from the fruit bowl on the counter, throwing it to her face. Clary giggled blissfully, and Magnus felt a little bit better.

.

Magnus loved social events, especially the ones he attended during Fashion week.

There was the fact that he was always surrounded by gorgeous people, no matter how dull they could be. He had always admired beauty, finding it everywhere and nowhere, and if the one around him was cold and all pretence, it didn't matter because those events were meant to hold a façade that Magnus was willing to submit to. He was part of this world and he knew its codes and norms. Keeping a stoic mask in the face of unreal beauty was one of them.

There was the added advantage of free food, too. He had never been a big eater, but these events were so frivolous in their gastronomic perks that even he could feel himself succumbing to greediness. Especially when the buffet was as extravagant as it was on his sixth night in New York. It was celebrating the Louis Vuitton show that had been held earlier in the evening and thus French food was abundant and he was salivating with the smell only.

It was the perfect opportunity to build a network in the fashion industry because everyone who was anyone to this peculiar universe attended them, and Magnus had always been a master at charming his way into leaving an unforgettable impression.

Tonight, though, his attention was elsewhere. And it was on his phone. He blamed Alexander Lightwood wholeheartedly.

_A tourist brought his dog in for a tick today. I’m having war flashbacks._

Magnus actually giggled out loud and thus brought on him the attention of a few models who were walking by, but he sent them away with a pointed glare.

 _You know I'm always willing to be the man down for you, darling_ , he quickly  typed back.

 _No innuendos in front of the kids, Bane_ , Alec replied almost immediately, a picture of Jimmy Chew’s puppy eyes attached to the message.

He had to bite on his bottom lip to refrain himself from cooing out loud.

“Magnus,” a voice purred behind him and he froze halfway through his answer, his thumb hovering above the screen.

“Shit,” he muttered under his breath.

“It's so good to see you,” Camille said as she circled him to face him, her fingers brushing against his waist in a feathery touch. “You've disappeared, darling. I haven't seen you partying in forever.”

“Disappearing is your thing, Camille,” he retorted through gritted teeth. “I'm just away for a while.”

“So I've heard,” she said, in that soft, silky voice that he had loved once and had come to hate. “Indiana, is it? Are you starting a corn trading business?”

She sounded so mocking, so condescending that he felt his blood boil in the spur of a second.

“I'm surprised you haven't torn your hair out of boredom,” she added, reaching out to twirl a red streak of his hair on her finger. “You were never one to stay still for too long. Settling isn't your thing.”

“Seeing as you're the one who repeatedly cheated on me, that's incredibly hypocritical of you, dear,” Magnus hissed, pushing her hand away.

His phone buzzed in his hand, distracting him from her predatory eyes. He welcomed it with undisguised and unabashed relief.

“Oh, darling, I missed you,” Camille chuckled, as fondly as it was patronizing. “You were always so much fun. What do you say we go have some fun right now? If I remember correctly, you always liked the risk of getting caught, didn't you?”

“Only when I actually like the person I'm with,” Magnus retorted coldly. “You're not one of them. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a video of dogs to watch that is more exciting than all that bullshit coming out of your mouth.”

He went to move away but she grabbed his arm firmly, tugging him back in front of her.

“Magnus, my love,” she purred. “Don't be like that. You know I'm sorry. You're overreacting.”

He would have laughed in disbelief if she had deserved even such a slight reaction.

He looked down at his phone, at the video waiting for him, at Alec's name flashing in the screen, at the profile picture he had set for him, Alec smiling at him, hazel eyes lit up with fondness, Jimmy Chew on his knees and glanced back up at Camille.

She was beautiful, long brown hair cascading on her shoulders and over the elegant collar of the tight red dress that hugged every curve of her body perfectly. Her deep brown eyes were glimmering, the light shade of red and the eyeliner on her lids making them pop. She looked beautiful and dangerous, and she was both.

And Magnus had had enough of bad choices and fighting off his own happiness.

Cutting off toxic people from his life seemed like a good step to start with.

“Camille,” he said softly, with a sweet smile that was all pretence. “Why don't you go fuck yourself? Because I certainly won't be fucking you. You're not worth a second of my time and I deserve much better than you. I'm just sorry it took me all this time to realize that.”

“Magnus -” she started again, voice now layered with wrath.

Magnus help two fingers up to shut her up, his whole attention on his phone. “Dog video,” he said. “Priorities.”

And he plugged his earphones in his ears, shutting her out completely. She gaped at him, completely frozen in shock.

The video featured Buck and Bark Jacobs sitting next to each other, apologetic expressions in their eyes.

“Guys, I want you to tell me who made this mess,” Alec was saying, the strict edge of his tone ruined by his obvious attempts at stifling a laugh.

The dogs shared a wary look and seemed to have a silent discussion for a while before they turned back to Alec, puppy eyes on full display.

“Who made this mess?” Alec repeated and his attempt at sounding authoritative failed again.

Buck whined and held up a paw to point it to his left, Bark Jacobs lowering his head shamefully.

Alec chuckled and moved the camera, first to the ground, which was scattered with ripped toilet paper, then further to the left where Jimmy Chew was sitting wrapped up in toilet paper, blue eyes shining apologetically, if not bashfully.

Alec chuckled, and Magnus had to bite on his bottom lip to hold back a loud cackle.

“You didn't tell me you left me with a hellhound,” Alec's voice chastised him playfully, and the video cut, leaving Magnus longing for more.

He casted a look over the room, at the people surrounding him, at their wide smiles that seemed as fake as forced. He was struck by how unreal this world he had evolved in for so long truly was, so strikingly different from the sheer honesty he had been faced with in Nashville.

Camille was still standing in front of him and there was nothing about her that he found beautiful. She was as fake as the rest of them. The realest thing about her was the wrath in her gaze, and he found that he didn't care at all.

Perhaps Nashville hadn't been that bad for him. His eyes were wide open and he could see her, and the rest of the crowd around them, for the first time. And he didn't like what he saw so clearly now.

He was an uncompromising person, and this was a room full of compromises, of dishonesty and shallowness.

It wasn't Magnus. Camille wasn't Magnus, and forgotten was the time he had believed they were alike, that they had anything in common.

He wasn't sure where he belonged, but it certainly wasn't here.

Magnus’ stomach lurched. And fell.

How long had he let toxic people like Camille in his life? Dictating what he was or was not?

He stared at the phone again, at the frozen image of Jimmy Chew's puppy eyes. Let himself remember how light and carefree Alec's voice had sounded. How real.

He was broken, he was lost, but maybe there was a way out of his maze of a mind where he had the least expected it.

.

“When are you coming back?”

Magnus casted a glance over the crowd coming and going through the airport, the frenzy of it dizzying. They all seemed in a rush, like catching their plane was a matter of life or death and, somehow, Magnus could relate more than ever.

Maybe they had someone who loved them waiting for them, maybe they were going to a job interview that would change their lives, or on a trip that would change their perspective of the world.

Maybe they were looking for a place to call home and for it to feel as natural as breathing.

Maybe they were going where they could heal, and maybe this place wasn't New York for them anymore than it was for him.

“My six months are up right before Christmas,” he said, unfocused.

“It's not what I asked,” Raphael replied, but a small smile was tugging at his lips.

Magnus shrugged. “It's my answer.”

Raphael stared at him for a while, utterly silent, brows knitted together as he pondered on Magnus' words. He darted his eyes to Clary to the side, but she was too busy doodling on her sketchbook to pay them any attention.

“I don't know if it's New York, or Nashville, or anywhere else on the world,” Raphael stated eventually, “but you'll find that place, Magnus. You deserve to find it more than anyone else I know.”

“That's just because you hate everyone else,” Magnus retorted but he didn't manage to hide the fondness of his tone.

“Well, I hate you too,” Raphael smirked. “Just slightly less than most people.”

Magnus scoffed, shaking his head in despair and stepped forward to pull Raphael into a hug. Raphael went very still, but he relaxed after a beat and wrapped his arms around Magnus, patting his back somewhat sheepishly.

“Come and see me next month,” Magnus muttered in his ear. “I miss having you moaning at me.”

“You're such a sap,” Raphael grumbled, pulling away, and Magnus took it as the yes it was. “Call me when you land.”

Magnus nodded, and watched his friend go as Clary and him went through the departure gates, a pang of sorrow in his heart. Maybe the place didn’t matter as much as the people surrounding you.

He boarded the plane with this thought set in mind and it followed him long after Clary drifted asleep on his shoulder.

.

Jace picked them up at the airport and the whole trip back to Nashville was filled with Clary telling her fiancé about all the amazing exhibitions and art galleries she had been to in ten days. She told him about the places Magnus had taken her to and Jace listened wordlessly, nodding along but never speaking, listening to her like every word coming out of her word was pure gold. With her, his usual snarky comments were forgotten, his arrogant demeanor abandoned.

All that remained was the indisputable affection in his gaze, a love so natural that it was transparent to any foreign eye. He looked at her like she held his heart in his hands but he knew she would never use that power to hurt him.

He smiled like he was the luckiest man in the world, and Clary smiled back with the same assurance that she had stopped searching a long time ago, because she had found what she needed right there, in the person sitting next to her.

Magnus envied them.

He was happy for them, because they both deserved the happiness that emanated from them, but he envied them.

He tried to ignore the tightening of his heart as the house finally came into view, because he wasn’t quite sure what to put behind it. The house was in the dark, apart from the fairy lights on the back porch. He said goodbye to Jace and Clary in a hurry, but they were too engrossed in each other’s eyes to really pay any attention to him.

He barely had the time to grab his bags - all three of them, because he might have had felt the need to quench his heart’s sorrows by doing an insane amount of shopping with Clary in his free time - before Jace drove away again, clearly eager to get back home, although he did make him promise to come have a drink at Java Jace the next day first.

Magnus waited for the car to be gone to walk around the house to the back porch. He barely had the time to take two steps in the garden that he had to drop his bags to greet three extremely eager dogs leaping at his legs, barking happily.

Magnus laughed, ruffling their furry heads with just as much enthusiasm.

“My babies,” he cooed, kneeling to kiss his dogs hello. “I missed you so much. You too Buck,” he added to the mutt, who pushed his muzzle against his hand in reply.

“I feel a bit left out,” Alec said playfully as he approached quietly from where the dogs had come running, hands tucked in the pockets of his jeans.

Magnus beamed at him, and realized a beat too late that it had come as naturally as breathing.

“Want me to rub your belly and pet your head, darling?” Magnus retorted with a taunting smirk.

“I’ll be happy with just a hello,” Alec chuckled, holding out a hand. Magnus took it obediently, letting himself be pulled to his feet.

Alec’s eyes were shining in spite of the darkness and his lopsided grin made a blithe flicker dance in the hazel.

“Hello,” Magnus breathed out when he remembered how to talk.

“Hey,” Alec replied, eyes boring into his own unabashedly. “How are you?”

It was a common question, one Magnus had heard a million times before, but it sounded different in Alec’s mouth, littered with care and genuine interest in the answer.

“I’m… on the path to being okay, I think?” he replied, choosing to reply to sincerity with sincerity. “I’m still lost, but I guess I somehow feel better now that I’ve acknowledged that. It’s hard to explain.”

“I get it,” Alec said with one of his soft smiles. “Did you bring me a present?” he asked then, his grin widening. “One of those hideous outfits you texted me? I could use some fire material. The cold days aren’t far.“

Magnus rolled his eyes dramatically. “I truly pondered on buying you that leopard-printed jacket but it would be lost on you, darling. I kept the clothes for your sister. I brought you something much better.”

“If you say it’s you, I’m gonna be slightly disappointed, I’m not gonna lie,” Alec teased.

“I’m just the cherry on the cake,” Magnus said with a wink. “Help me get my bags inside and I’ll give it to you. The present, of course.”

Alec snorted, shaking his head fondly as he went to pick up two of the bags. “How much shopping did you do?”

“Clary is getting married soon. We went shopping for jewellery to fit her dress.”

“You don’t need two extra bags for jewellery, Magnus,” Alec deadpanned.

“Get that gorgeous ass of yours inside and stop judging me,” Magnus retorted, grabbing the last bag.

Alec rolled his eyes, but obliged.

“Wait for me on the porch,” Magnus told him once they had dropped his bags in the hall.

Alec squinted one eye dubiously and Magnus scoffed in staged exasperation, laying two hands on his chest to forcefully push him outside. Alec didn’t look any less wary, although he let himself be guided backwards blindly.

“Wait for me here,” he said again, patting his chest just because he could, before he let go of him and headed to his bags again.

When he came back to the porch, Alec was sitting in his usual chair, legs spreaded out and resting on the railing. He had shaved his scruff, but it was already growing again and Magnus wasn’t sure which option he prefered. Which was somehow silly, because Alec looked drop dead gorgeous either way.

He angled his head to glance at Magnus and smiled, small and private, and Magnus’ heart skipped a beat but he quickly recovered, stepping forward, hands hidden behind his back.

“Come on,” Alec groaned, but it was belied by the smile tugging at his mouth. “Don’t tease me.”

“Oh, darling, if I was teasing you, you’d know,” Magnus purred, adding a wink for good measure.

He held Alec the fork he was holding in his left hand, chuckling at his puzzled look, and eventually decided to end his torture, handing over the box in his other hand.

Alec’s eyes lit up instantaneously and he casted a bewildered gaze at Magnus. “Is that from Eileen’s?” he asked, licking his lips in anticipation.

“Yup,” Magnus smirked. “Plain. I didn’t know which flavor was your favorite.”

Alec snatched the box out of his hand unceremoniously and opened it to reveal the cheesecake inside, eyes wide with excitement. “I don’t have one, I love them all,” he rushed out, digging his fork in to taste it.

He threw his head backwards, closed his eyes and moaned. Out loud.

Magnus licked his lips too, but he wasn’t sure it was because the cake was making him salivate. He was definitely salivating, though.

Alec took another bite and rose his blown-up eyes to Magnus. “I could fucking marry you right now,” he exclaimed through a mouthful. “I can dog-sit anytime you want if I get a cheesecake from Eileen’s every time.”

Magnus chuckled, and took the seat next to him. “I knew there was a drama queen in you,” he taunted.

Alec scoffed, engulfing another bit and moaning again. Magnus cursed inwardly. If it wasn’t for the way Alec’s eyes shone with undisguised glee, he would have regretted making the trip to Soho in the morning to pick a cheesecake.

Alec was downright obscene, and it wasn't helping Magnus’ already thin restraint.

“This is better than sex, Magnus,” he informed him and there went Magnus’ attempts at keeping his head clear of this way of thought. “This is an orgasm in the form of a cheesecake.”

“I'm slightly worried about your sex life, Alexander,” Magnus quipped - and mentally high-fived himself for keeping a straight voice. “If it's been bad enough that a cheesecake is beating all your former experiences, it's just plain sad. I volunteer to fix that.”

Alec threw him a pointed glare but didn't reply, instead holding a fork full of cake in front of Magnus’ mouth, lifting an expectant eyebrow.

Magnus stared right back but opened his mouth obediently, letting Alec feed him. It was divine, an explosion of flavors on his palate, but nowhere near the way Alec looked under the fairy lights.

“Better than sex,” Alec said again and took another bite.

“I'll prove you wrong someday,” Magnus muttered playfully.

He opened his mouth when Alec offered him another bite.

“In the mid time, we have cheesecake from Eileen's, “ Alec smirked. “This day is perfect.”

Magnus chuckled softly. “Did you miss me that much?”

“No one asked to come fix anything in a week, Magnus,” he retorted pointedly. “No defectuous air conditioning, no broken pipes, no ghost in the basement. I'm starting to think you're the reason why everything is going wrong in this house.”

Magnus gulped, and accepted another mouthful. “Maybe I'm truly being haunted,” he said in a blank voice. Alec threw him a dubious look. “Come on, don't tell me you didn't think about it! There was nothing wrong with the house and all of a sudden, everything goes wrong! Right after I started that fire in the garden. Maybe I drew them here.”

“Magnus,” Alec chuckled and his name sounded so soft, so impossibly tender in his mouth that Magnus’ heart leaped in his chest, “your house isn't haunted and there's no ghost hiding in the basement.”

As if on cue, a tiny muffled growl echoed from the house and Magnus froze.

“Alec, it's not funny,” he gritted out through clenched teeth.

“I didn't do anything,” Alec said, and his face displayed nothing but sheer honesty.

The sound resonated again, animalistic and slightly louder.

“Alexander, stop it!”

“It's not me!” Alec protested, raising both hands in defence.

Magnus went very still, heartbeat throbbing in his temples and he scooted closer to Alec, digging his fingers in his forearm.

“I'm telling you the house is haunted,” he hissed.

Alec sighed, shutting the cheesecake box to put it at his feet. “It's not,” he replied, brow furrowed stubbornly. “And I'm going to prove it to you.”

He shot up to his feet.

“What if they're aggressive ghosts?” Magnus exclaimed. “You can't go in there alone!”

Alec scoffed, lifting an eyebrow, and held out a hand, a light smirk tugging at his lips.

Magnus blew out a deep sigh but took the outstretched hand, rising to his feet. “I hope you realize what lengths I'm willing to go to for you, darling.”

“And I'm very grateful,” Alec replied, voice heavy with sarcasm. “I mean, you're risking your life for me.”

“You weren't so arrogant that time you called me to get rid of that spider in your bathroom,” Magnus retorted with a smirk, throwing him a pointed look.

“I don't know what you're talking about,” Alec said, but his tone clearly indicated otherwise.

“Sure you don't,” Magnus snorted.

Alec sent him a glare, hauling him inside before Magnus could protest, their hands still tightly fastened together.

The noise was more pregnant there, a low, bestial growl that sent a wave of shiver down Magnus’ spine. The house was otherwise silent, the dogs still on the porch and even if they had been with them, none of them made this kind of sound.

“If we're going to die,” Magnus murmured, following Alec to the kitchen, “we should at least kiss once, so we don't die with regrets, you know.”

Alec turned to face him, hazel eyes raking over Magnus’ face and he smirked, tugging on his hand to propel him closer. Disoriented, Magnus crashed against his chest, eyes widening with shock.

“Okay then,” he breathed out bemusedly.

“You still don't know how to ask nicely,” Alec muttered tauntingly.

Magnus rolled his eyes. “Oh, shut up,” he grunted, closing his fist around his shirt.

Alec chuckled and leaned forward. Their mouths were just brushing together, not quite touching when Magnus yelped, jumping onward and straight into Alec's arms who had no choice but to catch him.

“Something touched my leg,” Magnus murmured hastily, wrapping his arms and legs around Alec to be as far away from the ground as possible.

Alec blinked, clearly shocked, and glanced over Magnus’ shoulder warily, his face pulling into a grimace that announced nothing good.

“Don't panic,” he muttered, readjusting his hold on Magnus’ thighs.

“That's the worst thing to say to someone if you don't want them to panic, Alexander,” Magnus scolded him.

“There's a possum in your kitchen,” Alec said with devastating simplicity.

“Oh for fuck's sake,” Magnus whined. “What did I do to deserve this? First the spiders and the cockroaches and now this. This place hates me.”

“I'm going to put you down,” Alec said softly.

“No!” Magnus protested, tightening his hold on his neck. “It's going to attack me.”

“Unless you're made of crackers, I think you're safe,” Alec argued and that sounded sensible enough that Magnus nodded, if scarcely, and unwrapped himself from his hold slowly.

“Is it still here?” he asked, trying to tame the panicked edge of his tone as much as possible. “Is it looking at me?”

“It's still here. It's not looking at you.”

Alec stepped away from him and towards the animal carefully.

“Hey buddy,” he called out gently. “What are you doing so far from home?”

“He's eating my crackers, that's what,” Magnus replied petulantly. “The bastard.”

He looked over Alec's shoulder at the beast, its dark eyes blown up with panic as he stared at Alec approaching like he was the one unwelcome here.

“Get me a sweater, a blanket, anything I can protect my arm with when I catch him,” Alec instructed.

“Oh God, it's going to bite you, isn't it?”

“Not if you do what I'm telling you to do,” Alec muttered. “Now, Magnus.”

He scrunched his nose up and stepped away carefully, his eyes riveted on the animal as he walked out of the kitchen and into the living room to grab the blanket on the couch.

He started at it for a while. He remembered that blanket vividly. He had bought it for his mother during his trip to Peru with Ragnor. It was scattered with flashy patches of colors, although they had slightly tarnished with time.

He had been surprised to see she still had it when he had first moved in the house, but it had warmed his heart somehow, had reminded him that she hadn't discarded his whole existence like he had once fathomed. It was a token, a material proof of what they had once been.

It had laid on the couch, untouched, and he could recall Luke telling him how it had never left the couch, how she had spent the cold winter nights wrapped in it.

It was silly, but it had belonged to her and she had cherished it. But she was gone, and Magnus couldn't hold on to the things that had been hers if he ever wanted to move on.

He picked the blanket up almost reverently, letting himself remember how it felt amidst his fingers, revelling in the yet roughness of the wool and walked back to the kitchen.

Alec grabbed the blanket absently when he handed it over but froze when he looked down and saw it.

“Are you sure?” he asked, in a voice that somehow tethered Magnus back to reality.

“Just get rid of it,” he said and he wasn't sure what he meant exactly.

Alec hesitated for a moment longer, but nodded, seemingly deciding arguing would be pointless, and reckless, in this situation.

The possum was still frozen at the feet of the fridge and it watched warily as Alec wrapped the blanket around both his arms and stepped forward leisurely.

The animal cried in panic and fell on the ground, utterly immobile.

“Did it just have a heart attack?” Magnus murmured. “I mean, I would understand, the sight of you can be overwhelming.”

Alec snorted and shook his head but didn't reply, leaping forward to trap the animal in the blanket. It immediately started wiggling in Alec's arms and fighting against his hold, biting over the thick blanket to free itself.

Alec rushed outside and to the edge of the wood and Magnus followed slowly, keeping a reasonable distance. He watched as Alec deposited the animal on the ground carefully and rushed back towards Magnus before he could get bitten.

When he came back to Magnus, unwrapping the ruined blanket from his arms, he was frowning.

“It's okay,” he said in a tone surely meant to be reassuring. “It's gone. Calm down.”

Magnus blinked, confused and looked down to see his hands shaking uncontrollably. His whole body was trembling, his breathing stuttering in his throat.

“This house hates me,” he muttered, shaking his head. “I don't believe in coincidences and if that's not a clear sign that this place isn't made for me, I don't know what is.”

“Magnus, you're overreacting,” Alec said, those sweet eyes of his impossibly comforting.

“Am I?” he exclaimed, cursing inwardly his voice for wavering. “How many problems did I have with that demonic house? The air conditioning, the parasites invading the basement and now the kitchen, the floorboards, the pipes, the fucking fuses! This place hates me! It's punishing me!”

Alec sighed and stepped forward, grabbing Magnus’ hand before he could even think of moving away.

“Magnus,” he murmured, “you’re not cursed and the house isn’t haunted. You’ve just had bad luck lately and you’re already vulnerable, so it extrapolates it.”

“I'm not weak,” Magnus gritted out through clenched teeth.

“That's not what I said,” Alec said. “You're not weak. You're one of the strongest people I've ever met. Your whole life was turned upside down and yet you're still here, standing up and facing it all with a smile on your face, even though it is faked sometimes. You're still kind, and good, and it takes more strength than you can imagine.”

Magnus ducked his head somewhat bashfully, shaking his head. “You see more good in me than I see in myself.”

“Then let me see it for the two of us,” Alec whispered with unabashed confidence. “Come here,” he added, opening his arms in an obvious invitation.

Magnus blew out a sigh and crashed against Alec, burying his face in his neck as the taller man wrapped him in a warm embrace.

Magnus wanted nothing more than to disappear and melt into his arms, shielded away from this world that seemed to be set on ruining his desperate attempts at finding an anchor. A place to call home.

This, right here, the warmth of Alec's embrace, the light throbbing of his pulse point against Magnus' skin, felt close enough, but he didn't let himself dwell on it.

.

If Magnus had deemed the town beautiful in summer, fall was something else entirely.

Suddenly, the green of the trees was replaced by a riot of colors and the pond was skirted with amber and bronze and golden leaves. Summer was forgotten, and with it the unbreathable heat.

There was something ethereal about fall in Indiana. The nights were starting to close in, the wind creeping through the air getting colder and colder each day and it was like discovering it all over again. Scarlets and golds scattered the trees and, leisurely, the sidewalks, and leaves twisted and rocked with the wind in a mesmerizing dance.

Magnus had never been a fan of the cold, instead favoring the warm, heady heat as long as it was breathable.

Nashville made him change his mind.

Bark Jacobs and Jimmy Chew seemed to agree. They ran blissful through the piles of dead leaves, and Magnus had stopped trying to stop them at this point, because all his efforts had been vain, even more so once Buck had started joining them in their chaotic undertaking.

By the time mid-October arrived, Magnus had given up altogether and just let them scatter leaves on their path as they gamboled in the garden and near the pond.

Mid-October also brought the Covered Bridge Festival to Indiana.

“You’re going to love it,” Simon had told him one morning. “It’s very convivial and there’s loads of people from Nashville, but also all over the county and many tourists so it’s a nice way to socialize. And it’s beautiful. October is my favorite month of the year.”

Magnus had hummed pensively at the time, dismissing it like he often did with Simon’s rambling. The guy talked too much, it wasn’t his fault.

“Why are you dressed like you’re going to a fashion show?” Alec blurted out in disbelief when he came to pick Magnus up on that day, opening the trunk for Magnus’ dogs to leap in the back and join Buck, who greeted them with a loud, happy bark.

Magnus lifted an eyebrow, looking down at himself. He was wearing black ripped jeans and a sweatshirt that was slightly too big for him and displayed a hand in pink, lavender and blue colors with the words BI FIVE written in big bolded letters.

“I’m not,” he protested.

“We’re going into the forest, Magnus,” Alec said, deadpan. “These are not appropriate,” he added, pointed at his shoes with a hint of exasperation.

Magnus looked down at his glittery purple shoes and scoffed in indignation. “They are appropriate because they match with my outfit,” he retorted.

“I’m not giving you a piggyback ride when you realize your mistake,” Alec grumbled, climbing in the driver seat.

Magnus snorted and fastened his seat belt. “One, we can still enjoy another kind of ride,” he sneered. “Two, we both know you can’t resist my puppy eyes, darling.”

Alec rolled his eyes but didn’t reply. The trip to Park County wasn’t long, and soon enough, Magnus was stepping into what seemed to be a flea market. There were lots of tiny shops everywhere, selling food but also clothes and wallets and fishing tools, and pretty much anything you could think of. It smelled heavenly as they walked, cinnamon and popcorn from the stores perfuming the air and accompanying their wandering between antics houses, blacksmiths and food shops.

Bark Jacobs and Jimmy Chew were tugging on their leashes excitedly, trying to haul him everywhere they found something of mild interest before they got distracted by something else and leaded him in the opposite direction. Buck was better-behaved, but that wasn’t much of a surprise.

“Where are we meeting the others?” Magnus asked through a mouthful of pink-colored popcorn.

Alec’s lips tugged into a smile and he digged into the box Magnus was handing him to grab a handful of popcorn. “On the other side of the covered bridge,” he said. “It’s less busy there and we can settle by the river to eat.”

Magnus nodded, and although he tried to tame his excitement, he knew he had failed when Alec smirked, eyes shining with fondness.

The covered bridge was on the verge of sublime, the waterfall on the side lulling the place into a quiet sense of peace despite the crowd.

“Alec, it’s so pretty,” he breathed out with an almost childish eagerness as they walked through the bridge, the red wooden roof and sidings fitting perfectly with the trees around them tinted with the colors of fall.

“I know,” Alec smiled, the corner of his eyes crinkling and the air was knocked from Magnus’ lungs for reasons that had nothing to do with timber-truss bridges.

They had barely taken two steps on the other side of the bridge before they were assaulted by an angry-looking Jace, closely followed by Simon who looked just as enraged.

“Let’s settle that right now, Lewis,” Jace growled and he turned towards Alec and Magnus, sending them an outraged look. “Would you rather live in Lord of the Rings or Star Wars?”

Alec rolled his eyes and Magnus blinked, somehow taken aback. He was the first one to recover, though. “If I live in Lord of the Rings, do I have to be a hobbit? I’m not digging the hairy feet.”

“You can be whatever you want,” Simon chimed in. “But you can only choose one.”

“Then I’d be a fabulous bisexual elf,” Magnus confirmed with a nod. “Lord of the Rings, definitely.”

“What?” Alec exclaimed in a high-pitched voice. “You wouldn’t last a day in Lord of the Rings!”

“I would!” Magnus protested in indignation. “And what would you do?”

“Star Wars, obviously,” Alec replied. “They have spaceships! And robots! And Chewbacca!”

“And incest,” Magnus pointed out blankly, lifting an eyebrow.

Alec’s next words died in his throat and his lips parted in shock.

“Glad we could come to an agreement,” Magnus quipped, patting his cheek with a condescending smirk, before twirling back towards Jace and Simon. “Lord of the Rings it is.”

“Magnus, my man!” Jace yelled enthusiastically, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. “I knew I could count on you!”

Simon pouted from where he was kneeling on the floor, ruffling Jimmy Chew’s head between his hands. “That’s bull,” he grumbled. “Magnus obviously chose Lord of the Rings because of Viggo Mortensen.”

“Actually, that’s a very good point,” Alec had to admit, pulling a face.

“I knew you’d see the light, darling,” Magnus said, fluttering his eyelashes exaggeratedly.

Alec was about to answer but was interrupted by a loud whistle. They turned towards the noise in a same movement, only to see Isabelle standing a bit further near the river, hands on her hips, while Clary waved at them, Luke and Jocelyn chuckling together at their side. Lydia and Maia were there too, but they were too engrossed in each other’s eyes to realize Magnus and Alec had arrived.

Magnus released his dogs from their leashes and they immediately bounced forward to jump on Luke’s legs, who welcomed them with a warm chuckle.

They ate by the river, in front of the mill and near the waterfalls, and Magnus had never seen anything like it. It was crowded, and yet the sheer essence of the nature around them was still palpable. The weather was still pleasant enough, slightly windy, but not enough to be cold and it made the whole thing even more enjoyable, golden leaves swirling in the air before landing on the ground around them.

They had a hearty meal, filled with laughter and joy and playful bickering and Magnus was struck suddenly, as he watched Lydia petting his dogs, Luke playing catch with Buck, Alec laughing at something Maia had said with his head thrown back, and Clary and Isabelle talking animatedly about wedding plans, that these people had welcomed him into their lives without question, without prejudice or judgment.

They had accepted him and made him a part of their little made-up family without him even noticing they had.

“Hey, why do you look so sad?” Jace asked quietly, low enough for Magnus to be the only one to hear, coming to stand next to him.

Magnus shook his head, sniffing discreetly. “I’m not sad, I’m… overwhelmed.”

Jace curved an eyebrow, knocking their shoulders together gently. “By what? My breathtaking beauty? I know it can be a lot to take in but I can’t help it, sorry.”

Magnus scoffed in amusement, rolling his eyes. “Why is Clary marrying you? I don’t get it.”

“Don’t be like that, Bane,” Jace said teasingly. “Jealousy doesn’t suit you.”

Magnus let a silence settle between them, serene like it could only be with people you were comfortable with, and his throat tightened with emotions again. He cursed under his breath.

“Fuck, I’m such a mess,” he mumbled, mostly to himself, clenching his teeth to urge away the tears.

“Hey, we’re all complete messes here,” Jace said bluntly, with utter honesty that was slightly unnerving. “I mean, Simon and Alec chose Star Wars over the Mordor, what does it say about them?”

Magnus smiled, elbowing him gently. “Stop it,” he huffed out, but it was layered with amusement.

“You know we love you, right?” Jace muttered, just softly enough for Magnus to lose all speech capacity.

“Oh, shut up,” he grunted tearfully. “Now you’re just doing it on purpose.”

Jace cackled and wrapped an arm around Magnus’ shoulder, squeezing gently. “I am, but it’s still true.”

Magnus ducked his head somewhat bashfully, wiping the corner of his eyes with his palm. “I swear I’m not usually so emotional,” he mumbled. “Lately, I’m just… you know.”

“You know what you need?” Jace asked, and Magnus frowned and lifted an eyebrow in inquiry, but didn’t reply. Jace’s handsome features turned mischievous in the spur of a second and he moved away to cup both his hands around his mouth. “We have a Magnus situation,” he cried out, loudly enough that his head jerked up, eyes widening with shock. “Code red! Code red! We need a group hug!”

“Oh my God, stop it,” Magnus hissed, slapping his arm, but he didn’t have the time to get anything else out before he was assaulted with a mop of long dark hair, quickly followed by fierce red hair.

Magnus was quickly overwhelmed, familiar, friendly bodies circling him in a warm embrace that made his heart leap and stutter in his chest, cutting off his breath more than the tightness of the arms surrounding him. He knew the hand ruffling his hair in the midst of the chaos was Luke’s, because no one else would have dared, but he wasn’t aware of much else apart from the unfathomable affection he was plagued with.

When he was finally freed, finally oddly exposed but equally adored, he sniffed somewhat sheepishly, shaking his head in exasperation.

“I hate you all,” he mumbled, and nothing had ever seemed like more of a lie.

He felt a thumb sweeping against his cheek with such a gentle care that he didn’t even have to glance up to know it was Alec’s. He smiled up at him, and Alec smiled back.

“They ruined my shoes,” he mumbled, for lack of anything else to say.

“I might give you a piggyback ride to the car if you ask nicely,” Alec muttered, voice layered with amusement and affection combined.

Magnus told himself it was okay to be lost, because there were people out there willing to help him find his way out.

.

Magnus hosted a dinner party that night at the house and the usually lonely walls were suddenly filled with laughter, more alive than they had been ever since he had been forced to move here.

He smiled through the whole night, and it was as natural as breathing, as carefree as the wind sweeping through the porch and cooling the evening air. He didn’t feel cold, though. The warm presence of people he had learned to call friends around him was enough to ease the ache in his heart, to fill, if scarcely, the hole in his chest.

He wondered if it was what his mother’s life had looked like and he realized with a start that perhaps he could understand her a bit more.

He was still set on going back to New York after his six months were up, but now he could see what she had loved so much about this place. It actually wasn’t the place at all, even though the fall settling in had made him see how special it was.

It was the people who lived there, who welcomed you with open arms no matter who you were and where you were from, who made you feel like you had always belonged here even though you were still mostly a stranger to them.

It was what they hadn’t truly had in New York, just the two of them: a family, as chaotic and disparate as it was.

There was something pure and honest about the way they acted, the way they were, with no subterfuge or pretence.

He had never seen anything quite like it before. Had never felt part of a group like he did now.

He was standing alone in the darkness of the kitchen, fidgeting with the label of the bottle of wine in his hands as he watched them evolve through the window, laughing and chatting and bickering with so much love and care in their eyes that it should have been overwhelming. But somehow it wasn’t, because none of it was even remotely artificial.

Alec was sitting on the steps with Lydia, Isabelle sitting between his legs as he played with her hair absently, and Magnus stared for so long he lost all appreciation of time and space.

“So, are you ever going to ask him out or do I have to do it for you?”

Magnus rolled his eyes dramatically to hide how he startled at the voice in his back and focused back on the bottle in his hands, pulling the cork out.

“Are you ever going to ask Isabelle out or do I have to do it for you?” he retorted.

Simon’s mouth dropped open, eyes widening. “W-What?” he blurted out, a blush coloring his cheekbones. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Izzy and I are friends. Childhood friends. Yes. Nothing more. I don’t like Izzy.” He puffed out a breath, waving his hands dismissively. “That’s ridiculous. She’s like… my best friend. After Clary.”

Magnus scoffed out a chuckle and crossed his arms over his chest to send him a pointed look, eyebrow curved in skepticism, but didn’t reply.

“Is it that obvious?” Simon asked him, his voice barely over a whisper, eyes blown with dread.

“Yes,” Magnus said.

“Shit,” Simon breathed out. “Fuck. Really?”

Magnus nodded.

“Shit,” Simon repeated, slamming both his hands against his cheeks in a horrified expression.

“Chill, Sawyer. She likes you too.”

“What?” Simon exclaimed and it was quickly followed by a self-depreciative laugh. “No she doesn’t. She’s… Izzy! And I’m me.”

“Exactly,” Magnus said, “and don’t tell anyone I told you that because I will deny the whole thing, but you’re amazing and she sees it just as clearly as I do, trust me. She’s just waiting for you to realize that.”

“Are you hitting on me, Magnus?” Simon asked, wiggling his eyebrows exaggeratedly. “Because I love you and all, but I couldn’t do that to Alec, he’s one of my best friends.”

Magnus rolled his eyes, reaching out to smack him behind the head. “Just ask her out, asshole.”

“I will if you ask Alec out,” Simon replied defiantly, an explicit challenge in his deep brown eyes.

Magnus went to reply, but the words died in his throat and he just stood there, staring at Simon with his best imitation of a goldfish.

“Ah!” Simon exclaimed triumphantly. “See? You’re just as much of a chicken as I am!”

“It’s not the same thing,” Magnus sputtered defensively. “I’m going back to New York in two months! What’s the point?”

Simon froze, his innate smile disappearing from his face to be replaced by a combination of shock and hurt that made Magnus’ stomach twist miserably.

“Oh,” he breathed out in a small voice. “Yeah. I had forgotten about that.”

He shrugged, but it didn’t appear half as nonchalant as he had surely hoped and he stepped out of the kitchen before Magnus could add anything else to justify himself.

Alone again, Magnus stared at the bottle in his hands and heaved out a deep sigh before following Simon to the porch.

“Yeah, it would have been the perfect place but we can’t afford it,” Clary was telling Maia in a slightly dejected tone. “But we don’t really care where we get married. Or in what. It’s mostly my mom going overboard.”

“I heard that!” Jocelyn called out from where she was leaning on the railing, chatting with Lydia.

Clary gave her a sweet, innocent smile and turned back to Maia. “She totally is.”

Magnus chuckled, and took a seat next to Maia, refilling their empty glasses. “What are we talking about?”

“We know we had that venue downtown booked for the wedding, but Jace and I went to a wine tasting last weekend and the place was absolutely perfect… but it’s way above our budget,” Clary explained, and she shrugged dismissively but Magnus could see the disappointed flicker in her green eyes.

“Where is it?” he asked, taking a sip of his own glass.

“Bloomington,” she said. “It’s called Oliver Winery. It’s really gorgeous. It’s surrounded by vineyards and woods and rural farms but there’s nothing else around.”

Magnus hummed pensively. “I’ll pay for it,” he declared absently.

“What?” Clary blurted out, blinking in surprise. “Magnus, no. It’s really a lot of money and I’m not even sure they still host weddings and -”

“Biscuit,” he cut her off, sending her a pointed glare that had her mouth shutting abruptly. “Your mouth is watering just mentioning the place. It’s clear you want to get married here. I can pay for it. If it makes you feel better, I’ll pass on the ultramodern mixer I was going to buy and it can be your wedding gift.” He paused, leaning forward to catch the uncertain spark in her eyes. “Let me do this, biscuit. Please.”

The only answer he got was a resounding high-pitched shriek and an armful of Clary leaping out of her chair to hug him. He laughed, catching her and balancing them both on the chair before they could collapse on the ground.

“Bane!” Jace called out from his spot on the grass where he was playing with the dogs with Luke. “Quit trying to steal away my fiancée!”

“Jace!” Clary yelled, releasing Magnus to bounce up and down in excitement. “Oliver Winery!”

Jace startled, clearly taken aback. “What?”

“Oliver Winery,” Clary repeated, as if it made any more sense. “Magnus offered to pay for it as our wedding gift!”

It took an embarrassingly long moment for the blonde to understand what Clary was telling him - and Magnus would make sure to relentlessly tease him about it once he had recovered - but when he did, his eyes widened even more and a wide grin broke on his mouth, lighting up his whole face.

Clary giggled blithely and Magnus’ heart all but melted as she leaped down the porch to meet Jace, who welcomed her with open arms, swirling her in the air as their mouths crashed together in pure bliss.

Magnus wondered if that was what making good choices felt like.

.

The dinner party had revived something in Magnus, and maybe it was the breathtaking landscape that the fall had brought along too, but it was liberating and he was feeling like himself again, so he welcomed the idea without a second thought.

“I’m throwing a Halloween party,” he announced solemnly to Simon on the following Monday.

“I love Halloween parties!” Simon had yelled enthusiastically.

“I hate Halloween parties,” Alec had deadpanned when Magnus had shared the idea with him next.

“That’s because you’ve never been to one of mine, my darling,” Magnus had replied, and had shut down any further argument with a pointed glare. “And before you ask, yes, you have to wear a costume, and no, you can’t come as a veterinarian because that wouldn’t be a costume. You can totally come as Adam, though. I’ll be the apple.”

Alec had grumbled under his breath that this wasn’t how the story went, but Magnus had discarded it with a flourish and a smirk.

Magnus had always loved Halloween. If it was partly for the thrill of dressing up as extravagantly as he wanted to, it was also that for Halloween, the world became a stage, _his_ stage and he could stalk around, chin up in the air without anyone judging him for it.

It was cold for the end of October, but Magnus was too focused on organizing his party, and Clary and Jace’s wedding, and keeping up his blog and freelance jobs to really notice or care.

His excitement might have caused him to go slightly overboard, if the amount of garish jack-o-lanterns on his front porch was anything to go by, or the fake grave he had settled there, or even the skeleton at the front door. That wasn’t mentioning the fake bats, spiders and crows that were scattered everywhere.

He regretted nothing. Especially not the spiders, which had almost given Alec a heart attack and had lead to him yelping in fright and leaping off of Magnus’ porch in record time.

He had bought enough candy to feed an army, or the entire population of Nashville, which was slightly ridiculous considering he knew full well that his guests would all come with arms charged of pies and muffins and what not.

He didn’t care, though, he pondered to himself as he added the last touches to his disguise, appraising himself in the full-length mirror. Makeup was lining up his eyes just enough to make them deeper, the gold on his lids matching perfectly with the vest of his costume and his exposed bronze skin.

He looked as mysteriously alluring as a genie should look. But much sexier, he told himself with a proud smirk.

The music was already blasting in the house even though he was alone, but it had gotten him in the mood, hips moving to the rhythm as he got ready. He strode down the stairs, still dancing to himself, a wide grin on his lips as he filled the bowls he had scattered everywhere with candy. He was completely engrossed in the music, the bass thumping in time with his heartbeats, which was probably why he jumped ten feet in the air when someone cleared their throat behind him, candy flying off his hands and everywhere in the room.

He whirled around, one hand over his heart as if it could steady it.

“Alexander,” he called out, equally chastising and cheerful. “You scared me.”

Alec didn’t reply immediately, eyes raking over Magnus from the tip of his toes to the glitter in his hair. Magnus took the opportunity to do the same and thanked the gods - or the goddess because there was no doubt that Izzy was behind this - for Halloween.

“Sorry,” Alec mumbled eventually. “Didn’t meant to.”

“You’re early,” Magnus said with a smile, grabbing Alec’s hand as he started moving to the music again. “And you look ravishing. Let me guess, Izzy?”

“Obviously,” Alec grumbled, utterly immobile in spite of Magnus’ attempts.

“Well, she chose wisely. The gladiator look suits you,” he replied with a wink. “Come on, dance with me!”

“I can’t dance,” Alec protested, albeit weakly, and it was belied by his own action when he raised the hand that was still tucked into Magnus’ to allow him to twist smoothly under it.

“That sounds like a lie,” Magnus quipped, rocking his hips to the music with a slightly devilish smirk.

Alec followed the movement with his eyes and Magnus was suddenly very content with his decision of wearing nothing but the open vest of his costume.

“You’re a little shit,” Alec growled low in his throat and accompanied Magnus’ movements as he swirled around again, plastering his back to Alec’s chest.

“Mmhm,” Magnus agreed. “I’m also a genie so I can grant you three wishes tonight,” he purred. “Choose wisely.”

Alec scoffed both in amusement and exasperation and leaned down to nuzzle against Magnus’ neck, warm breathing ghosting over his skin and spreading a wave of shivers down his spine like wildfire.

“I wish,” he murmured, pressing his lips against Magnus’ pulse point. “I wish -”

He was interrupted by a loud, excited bark at their feet, quickly followed by others and Magnus groaned, throwing his head back against Alec’s shoulder.

“I wish you would tell me why you dressed up your dogs,” Alec mumbled against Magnus’ neck.

“Why wouldn’t I dress up my dogs?” he replied at once. “They have the right to enjoy the Halloween frenzy like the rest of us. I’m certainly enjoying the sight of your arms and legs in this costume.”

Alec’s fingers grazed gingerly against the bare skin of his stomach, and his skin caught fire. “I have to admit I can see some perks to the whole dressing up thing now,” he granted lowly.

“Is it thanks to Frankenbark and Pumpkin Chew?” Magnus chuckled.

His hips weren’t moving anymore but they were rocking together, Alec’s arms around him, to a rhythm known solely by them, far slower than the wild bass of the song playing.

“Only partly,” Alec replied tentatively.

It was the sound of the doorbell that forced them to pull apart eventually, and Magnus almost couldn’t resist the urge to cancel this whole party and have another kind of party with Alec instead.

“Hello!” Simon called out cheerfully when Magnus opened the front door, a wide grin on his features.

Magnus grumbled an answer and stepped aside to let him in, although he was sure to do it with the grimmest expression he could muster.

“Seriously, Si?” Alec chimed in. “Han Solo, again?”

“Han Solo, always,” Simon retorted with all his nerdiest verve. “Ave, Caesar!”

“I’m supposed to be a gladiator, dumbass,” Alec rolled his eyes dramatically. “I can’t be both Caesar and a gladiator.”

“It’s Halloween, Alec. Logic doesn’t apply on Halloween.”

“This makes no sense at all,” Alec deadpanned. “You’re just finding excuses to justify your mistake.”

“Magnus,” Simon sighed, sending him his best pleading gaze, “tell him to stop being mean to me.”

Magnus scoffed. “Why would I?”

Simon lifted an eyebrow, throwing them an incredulous look.

“Because he listens to you,” another voice chimed in and Magnus turned around to face Jace, who was proudly exhibiting his Superman costume, Clary closely following dressed up as Wonder Woman. “And Alec doesn’t listen to anyone.”

“I listen to sensible, reasonable people,” Alec groaned, throwing them a murderous glare. “Two things neither of you are.”

“Sure, bro,” Jace snorted, patting his shoulder with a taunting smirk. “Magnus’ house looks like Halloween Town from the Nightmare Before Christmas, but he’s totally _sensible_ and _reasonable_.”

“Hey!” Magnus exclaimed indignantly. “How did that backfire against me? He’s the one who fools himself into thinking he can say no to me,” he added, pointing a finger at Alec.

“Et tu, Magnus?” he breathed out in staged offense.

Magnus gave him a sweet, innocent smile and tilted his head up to peck his cheek ever so lightly, before moving to the living room.

“Come on, don’t stay standing here,” he quipped, clapping twice in his hands to set them in motion. “Alcohol is in the living room.”

Jace let out a cough that sounded a lot like he was muffling the words “at least he’s not driving this time”, and Magnus swirled back around to throw a handful of candy at his face.

“It happened once!” he exclaimed. “Let it go.”

“Never,” Jace retorted with a smirk.

Magnus scrunched his nose up, eyes squinting menacingly. “I know an interesting story involving ducks,” he hissed in warning.

Jace visibly blanched, his mouth dropping open before he casted a look of utter betrayal to his brother.

“You told him?” he asked in a loud, accusatory voice.

Alec shrugged, a mischievous smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replied airily. “Perhaps Magnus just has good instincts. Or perhaps you have a face that says you’re scared of ducks.”

“Who’s scared of ducks?” Maia inquired as she walked in in a Ghostbuster costume, Rosie-the-riveter Lydia and Catwoman Isabelle on her trail.

“No one is scared of ducks!” Jace exclaimed, too quickly and too loudly for it to be remotely believable.

“So I take it Jace is scared of ducks,” Maia said resolutely.

“You’re all uninvited from the wedding,” Jace growled, crossing his arms over his chest with a petulant frown. “It’s just gonna be me, Clary, Luke, Jocelyn and Magnus’ dogs.”

“My dogs?” Magnus asked, lifting an eyebrow.

“Yes, your dogs,” Jace grunted. “I’ll kidnap them if I have to. They can carry the rings.”

“We’re not having our rings carried by Magnus’ dogs,” Clary said blankly, before glancing down at Bark Jacobs and Jimmy Chew, who were sitting at Magnus’ feet, looking at the guests with excitement in their eyes, tails wiggling happily. “No offense, boys.”

“Well, it’s gonna be one hell of a boring wedding then because we won’t have any guests,” Jace argued.

“What do you mean a boring wedding? What are you talking about?”

It was a yell, frank and cutting through the air like a knife, and Jace froze entirely, blanching, turning a sheepish look to Jocelyn.

“I was kidding, Ma’am,” he mumbled. “It’s gonna be a great, magnificent wedding. With all those flowers and guests and all that sh- stuff.”

He looked a bit terrified and Magnus would have tried to sympathise if Jocelyn hadn’t been dressed up as a bottle of ketchup, Luke a hot-dog behind her.

He burst into laughter instead and tried to hide it behind his hand, but it was too late for that.

Magnus did love Halloween.

.

Magnus had pretty much invited everyone he knew in town - except for Robert Lightwood, he could spend a boring night doing whatever discriminatory, homophobic assholes did on Halloween, like ask children for their sexual orientation before agreeing to give them liquorish candy, because he was enough of a jerk to give out those demonic things only - which meant that soon enough, the house was filled wall to wall with people, their constant, happy chatter blurred by the roar of the music.

Magnus had danced with Isabelle, Clary and Lydia for most of the night in the living-room-improvised-dance-floor, grinning widely and not caring for a second if they looked like idiots, body and mind free of qualms and sorrows for a night.

When he stumbled on the back porch, there were more people there, but it was more breathable and the chatter was less clouded. The wind was cold, ripping through the thin protection of his disguise and sending shivers up and down his skin, but the alcohol running through his veins, and his untamable excitement, made him invulnerable to every assault.

His grin broadened at the sight of Alec, leaning on the railing of the porch as he chatted with Elaine and he staggered his way to him, navigating amidst familiar and friendly bodies until he reached him.

He didn’t say a word, merely circled Alec’s waist with his arms and buried his face in his neck and Alec wrapped his arms around him automatically, although he didn’t stop chatting with Elaine, who seemed as utterly unfazed by their impromptu proximity as Alec himself.

They were talking about sports, something about Hoosiers and Magnus tuned out completely because everything that came to his mind were really bad puns or frankly atrocious innuendos. He was content enough with his current position, warm and comfortable, letting himself be lulled into peace by the steady palpitations of Alec’s pulse point against his cheek.

Alec’s hand was sailing absently against the bare skin of his arm, and it was an unconscious gesture but it made Magnus smile to himself all the same.

Even the loud, drunken arrival of Simon didn’t manage to break his quietude. The baker wobbled his way to them and dropped a wet kiss on his mother’s forehead, his glasses falling slightly on his nose, a glass of an unidentified liquid in his hand.

“Drank too much, pumpkin?” Elaine chuckled, in such a motherly voice that Magnus had to resist the urge to cringe.

“Mom, I’m twenty-six,” Simon slurred. “You can’t call me pumpkin in front of my friends.”

“I brought you to this world,” Elaine argued reasonably - and indisputably. “I can call you whatever I want.”

Simon huffed out in faked exasperation and swung around to face Magnus and Alec, spilling some of his drink on his hand in the process.

“Magnus!” he exclaimed loudly, a wide grin breaking on his features. “This is the best party _ever_!”

Magnus smiled, but didn’t pull back. He was warm, and more than content where he was and it would probably take a bulldozer to dislodge him now.

“Well, I am quite the party planner,” he said somewhat smugly. “My apartment in New York has been the scene of some memorable parties.”

“You should be a professional one!” Simon exclaimed, tapping a finger on his chest as if to emphasize his remark. “You’ve already helped with Clary’s wedding and all, you’d be great at it.”

“That’s not such a terrible idea,” Magnus smiled, “but I’m good with my blog, making money while staying at home and watching crappy TV shows as I write my articles.”

Alec’s fingertips were still brushing alongside his arm and he hummed in amusement, the throbbing echoing in Magnus’ temples.

“When’s the next party then?” Simon asked, eyes blown with excitement - and certainly an unhealthy amount of alcohol.

Magnus bit on his bottom lip, brow furrowed in reflection, and he smirked. “Any excuse can be an excuse to party, Sigourney, you don’t need a special occasion,” he mused, his grin broadening. “But wait to see my goodbye party before I go back to New York. It’s going to be epic.”

Alec’s fingers froze halfway to his elbow and he tensed against him, but Magnus’ attention was too captured by Simon’s reaction to truly ponder on it.

His natural easy smile dropped. He looked very much like he was biting his tongue for a second. It quickly got loosened, though, and Magnus knew it had certainly much to do with whatever was in his glass.

“You could look less happy about it, you know,” Simon said sternly, all cheerfulness forgotten. “I mean, I know this place is ‘terrible’ and we have awful Internet connection and you’ve got all those problems with the house and all. Yeah it’s so awful, New York is so much better -”

“That’s not what I meant,” Magnus tried, but Simon didn’t let him finish.

“We all tried to make friends with you even when you made it really hard for us and we welcomed you with our arms wide open and you managed to make us all like - fuck that - _love_ you,” he snapped, his eyes drifting up to Alec for a second too long before focusing back on Magnus, “and you keep talking about New York like you can’t wait to get out of here. Well, there are some people here who are going to miss your selfish, jerky ass, Magnus, and even if you don’t feel the same. The least you could do would be not to throw to our faces how happy you are about getting away from us!”

And without another word, he walked out to get back inside the house, leaving Magnus with blown eyes and a mind plagued with shock, his heart clenching in his chest painfully.

“What-” he breathed out. “What just happened?”

Only a deep silence answered him, holding more meaning than he could quite comprehend. Alec slowly unwrapped his arms from his shoulders.

“I’m gonna go get a drink,” he mumbled and walked away abruptly.

“Alec,” Magnus called out, reaching out to grab his hand.

He turned around to give him a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m just getting a drink, Magnus,” he said, and snagged his hand off his hold.

Magnus watched him leave, powerless, and let his hand fall lamely at his side, fingertips tingling with the sudden void.

.

Magnus walked his last guests to the door with the first rays of sun peeking through a heavy array of grey clouds and went back to the living room to slouch on the couch where Buck, Bark Jacobs and Jimmy Chew had fallen asleep, watching with dreadful apprehension the capharnaum he now had to clean up. In all honestly, it wasn’t the worst he had ever seen. People had been polite even in their drunkenness and there was almost no empty glasses on the piano and the one who had indeed put their glasses there had used coasters. He wasn’t sure the guests to his parties in New York had ever used coasters for another purpose than playing frisbee with them.

He was just gathering the last remains of his motivation to stand up and start tidying up when Alec walked into the room, still adorned in his Halloween costume, a garbage bag in his hands as he threw away methodically the long forgotten cups.

“You’re still here?” Magnus asked, and didn’t bother to hide the surprise from his tone.

Alec hummed absently, emptying the coffee table from empty bottles and cups and Magnus rose to his feet to help.

“Couldn’t let you clean up all that mess on your own,” he mumbled.

It was so painfully clear that he was employing all his energy to avoid looking Magnus in the eyes that he felt his heart tighten in his chest.

“You didn’t have to,” Magnus muttered, resisting the urge to squirm on his feet. He felt guilty and he wasn’t even sure why.

Alec hummed again, turning away from him to pick up the sweets that were scattering the ground.

“I’m used to cleaning up after parties on my own,” Magnus added, because the silence was driving him crazy and it was the best thing he could think of.

Alec turned back around swiftly. “Look, if you don’t want my help, you can just say so and I’ll leave,” he snapped, rushing out of the room and outside before Magnus could understand what was happening.

“Alec!” he called out, running after him to the porch. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Alec barked. “Everything’s fine, Magnus.”

“No, it’s not,” he argued. “You’re mad at me.”

Alec didn’t reply, throwing empty cups and discarded paper plates in the garbage bag with far more strength than strictly necessary.

“Alec,” Magnus said, cursing the pleading edge of his tone. “Talk to me.”

Alec shook his head and whether it was directed to Magnus or only meant for himself, Magnus wasn’t sure, but it sent a dreadful sensation down his spine all the same.

“You’re mad at me,” he repeated pointlessly. “Why are you even helping me clean up?”

Alec threw the bag on the ground carelessly, his head jerking up. “What do you want, Magnus? You want me to yell at you? Is that it?”, and he did yell, and Magnus startled, surprised. It had been a long time since he had last heard anger in his voice.

“Yes!” Magnus exclaimed just as loudly. “If that’s what it takes to have you talking to me, then by all means, yell all you want! Just stop ignoring me!”

“I’m not ignoring you. I’m talking to you, aren’t I?”

“You have a funny definition of what talking means,” Magnus retorted heatedly.

Alec groaned in frustration and took a deep breath, turning away from him to focus on cleaning up again. “You know what? Never mind, it’s pointless anyway,” he sighed, shaking his head.

“Alexander,” Magnus said as softly as he could, taking a step forward as if he was approaching a wild beast. It felt very much like that time when a possum had decided to barge in his kitchen and Alec had tried to reassure it before making it leave.

And Magnus realized he didn’t want Alec to leave. “Just tell me why you’re mad at me.”

“Are you really that blind, Magnus?” Alec roared, anger and frustration dancing in the hazel of his eyes. “Because Simon was right! You talk like you can’t wait to get away from here, like nothing changed since you first stepped here with your stupid city boy habits and your mind made up. We worked so hard - all of us - to make you an integral part of our community and you just don’t care -”

“Of course I care!” Magnus protested. “And of course my opinion has changed!”

“Then why are you so eager to leave?” Alec asked, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “Why do you hate it so much here?”

“I don’t hate it!” Magnus yelled, resisting the urge to tear at his own hair to release some of his grievance. “That’s the problem! I don’t hate it and I _want_ to hate it! I don’t want to like this place! I don’t want to like _you_!”

Alec froze, hurt flashing in his eyes. He opened his mouth to reply, but all that came out was a shaky breath. He circled Magnus to get down the porch, stomping towards the path that led to his house.

“Alec,” Magnus called out weakly, but it was too low for him to hear.

Maybe the wind was his ally, though, because Alec stopped right before he could truly get out of Magnus’ land, turning back around to march back to him, and Magnus tried to tame the fluttering relief in his chest, but in vain.

“Then why do you do these things?” he yelled once he was in front of him again. “The hugs, the fucking flirting. Why do you do it?”

“Because I don’t want to like you,” Magnus murmured over the morning wind sweeping through the porch. “But I still do.”

Magnus wondered if ripping his chest open and exposing his own heart would have felt the same, if it would have appeared as rotten as it felt, as dark as it seemed.

He had heard before that people who opened their hearts started to heal, but it all sounded like a lie now. He wasn’t healing. His heart was exposed, and he felt like he was crumbling under the weight of it, suffocating with the heaviness of his grief, of his doubts, of the burden he was carrying.

Nothing seemed to make sense anymore. Nothing, apart from the words that next came out of Alec’s mouth, so low they were hardly a whisper.

“You’re the most infuriating man I’ve ever met.”

“You’re not too bad yourself,” Magnus gritted out through clenched teeth.

It wasn’t one of those moments in life where time stops to give you a chance to apprehend everything around you. It wasn’t either the choice of one of them over the other.

They moved together, in such perfect unison that it was a statement on its own, and their lips crashed together in a bruising kiss, heavy with anger, frustration and burning need.

It was hot and fiery, passionate and demanding, and Alec stepped forward until Magnus was pinned against the wall, the smallest of whimper escaping his throat to land on his mouth like a plea. Alec clasped his hands on either side of his face, kissing him harder, teeth nipping at Magnus’ bottom lip, tongue soothing the burn temptatively.

When they pulled back, they were both panting, and Magnus started into Alec’s eyes like he wasn’t quite sure what to do and even less what to say.

This time, it was definitely Alec who moved first.

Alec kissed him again and the world fell away.

The reality that was his, Magnus forgot it. Reality didn’t matter now. Nothing mattered but this.

His hands found their way behind Alec’s back and he ran his fingers down his spine as far as the now incredibly inconvenient gladiator costume allowed him, pulling him closer until there was no space left between them. Alec’s hand gripped at his hips in retaliation, hauling him flush against his chest.

Magnus inhaled sharply, head dizzy and pulled back, partly because he needed air and partly because it was too much. Alec chased after his lips blindly, but he drew back, falling back on his heels and leaning his forehead against Magnus’, their billowing breaths mingling together in the sparse gap between them.

It barely lasted a second, two at most, and they were crashing together again, insatiable now that they knew what they had been missing.

Their third kiss caught fire in the spur of a second and Magnus hooked a leg behind Alec’s thigh to press him closer, earning a wanton moan against his lips in reward.

Alec drew back again, only to latch his mouth on his neck, on the exact same spot he had brushed his lips over when the night had only just begun and Magnus’ head slumped back against the wall as Alec’s hands reached up to explore the bare skin of his stomach, dancing over his ribs and finally circled his waist to lift him up so Magnus could wrap his legs properly around his hips.

Magnus shivered and carded his fingers through Alec’s hair, ruffling it even further, tugging just hard enough to rip another moan from the back of his throat when he bit on a mark he had left on Magnus’ neck.

“Bedroom,” he panted, unable to form a proper sentence. “Upstairs.”

Alec nodded in agreement against his neck, pulling back to allow Magnus to get his feet back on the ground, although he had to grip Alec’s biceps to steady himself, head spinning with an overwhelming desire.

It burned under his skin, clouded his mind and tore away his ability to speak, and Magnus didn’t ever remember being rendered speechless by something he had always deemed so trivial, but there he was now.

As they stumbled up the stairs to the guest room, lips latched together in every step, he tried with every fiber of his being to get some coherence back to his senses, but it was too late, and he was too far gone.

His vest was thrown somewhere across the room and they had to pull apart to do the same with the top of Alec’s costume, which turned out to be as much as a pain to take off as it had been a joy to witness.

The room usually still smelled like the sandalwood that still lingered all around the house, but Magnus could only breathe in Alec’s scent now and it was devastating, igniting in him a fire he had never known existed in the first place.

Alec nipped on the bare skin of his shoulder, hands gripping his waist tightly as their hips rocked together, tearing moans from both their panting mouths.

“What do you prefer?” he asked breathily, tilting his head up to kiss Magnus again.

“I don’t care,” Magnus huffed out. “I like both.”

“Me too,” Alec murmured, pushing him farther into the room and towards the bed. “What do you want?”

If Magnus had been completely, wholly, and utterly lost lately, there was nothing he knew with more certainty.

“Fuck me.”

Alec’s breath hitched in his throat, a simple curse darting out, and Magnus felt his heart miss a beat against his chest. He pushed him on the bed when his knees hit the edge and Magnus landed with a light bounce, resting his weight on his elbows as he watched Alec climb after him to straddle his legs, jolting their hips together.

Undoing and getting rid of the rest of their costumes turned out to be a matter of seconds, fingers eagerly working on discovering more and more skin, worshipping a body that was never meant to remain foreign.

Alec was one of those rare people whose exterior appearance reflected on what was inside. He was beautiful inside and out and if Magnus thought it was a bit unfair, it was only because of the way it made his heart clench in his chest enough to knock the air out of his lungs.

“Night table,” he murmured because he was too busy running his fingers up and down Alec’s biceps to reach for condoms and lube himself.

Alec planted a kiss on his lips, and another, and another that turned downright filthy, a mess of tongue and teeth. He pushed Magnus back against the mattress to extend a hand and reach blindly in the bedside table, his free hand tracing a path from Magnus’ knee to the inside of his thigh before they closed around his cock. Magnus’ back arched off the bed, a fractured moan splitting from his lips like a wordless plea.

When a first lube-coated finger poked against his hole, every pretence Magnus had hoped to hold fell apart. Every brush of their lips together, every thrust of his long fingers were raw intensity but somehow, Alec seemed calm, his eyes displaying an unsettling stillness as he added a second and later a third finger to stretch him open.

His actions weren’t as serene, however, and when he leaned against Magnus’ neck, breath ghosting over his skin like the finest silk, he seemed just as wrecked as Magnus felt.

His fingers dragged deftly against his shoulder blades, hauling him closer. “I’m ready,” he panted.

Alec nodded and went to pull back, but Magnus tangled his legs around his waist before he could get away, with a slight desperation that would have made him cringe with embarrassment in any other situation.

“Condom,” Alec uttered in explanation, huffing out a breathless laugh.

Magnus grunted low in his throat but loosened his grasp to allow him to reach out for the condom lying on the pillow. It occurred to him that they were laying sideways on the bed, but it seemed awfully irrelevant when Alec was back between his legs and resting on his elbows over him, looking into his eyes with undisguised passion.

Alec pushed in slowly, peppering Magnus’ neck with open-mouthed kisses, worshipping him like he was something precious. Breakable. Magnus could only retaliate by digging his teeth in his shoulder.

As Alec’s anger had evaporated, replaced by the obvious care he was applying to his touch, the pregnant, palpable desire hadn’t. It intoxicated Magnus’ mind, diving in every available thought and making him pliant to the wild pulsions that pushed away all coherence.

“Shit,” he hissed in Alec’s ear, and if he started to move faster, his thrusts weren’t any more brutal.

Magnus digged his nails into his back. “Stop holding back,” he demanded. “You’re supposed to be mad at me.”

“Shut up,” Alec grunted low in his throat.

“Make me,” he murmured slyly anyway, a soft, barely audible chuckle escaping his mouth.

Alec’s hips jerked harder against his and he slammed their mouths together in an obvious attempt at hushing him. Magnus let his fingers rake down his back and settle on his ass to shove him deeper. They moaned into each other’s mouth between heavy pants in complete abandon.

“Fuck,” Alec breathed against his lips.

Magnus buried his face in his neck, pleasure flowing through him in waves. He felt vulnerable suddenly, and maybe it was because he was getting closer to the edge, or maybe it was that Alec was making feel whole for the first time in his life, that despite his previous anger and what remained of it, Magnus could still feel the reverent care he applied to every single of his thrusts.

It seemed impossible that someone as broken as he were could be allowed to touch and destroy the beauty of someone like Alec. He felt undeserving and yet, there he was, meeting Alec’s every thrust with a roll of his hips, swallowing his lewd cries with his lips, marking his skin with his tongue and teeth.

He came with a soundless shout just a split second before Alec and they collapsed against each other, sweaty bodies shuddering in the aftermath of pleasure.

“I’m not mad at you,” Alec huffed out when his breathing allowed him. Magnus angled his head to look up at him, but he was staring at the ceiling with unwavering intent. “I’m mad at myself.”

“Why?” Magnus asked, but he knew.

“Because I knew from the start you were going to leave,” Alec said.

“I don’t know,” Magnus whispered, and Alec finally turned to look at him, lifting an inquisitive eyebrow. “I’m not sure of anything anymore.”

The green in his eyes was glimmering with the morning lights creeping through the window and he looked ridiculously beautiful.

“I’m fucked up,” he breathed out.

Alec smiled, small and sad. “Aren’t we all?”

He pushed on his elbows to sit up, leaning on the edge for a moment before he picked up his discarded underwear and walked out of the room.

Magnus’ heart throbbed painfully in his chest, but he didn’t try to move, staring at the dip Alec had left in the bed instead, and he tried vainly to swallow the lump that had settled down his throat.

It somehow subdued when Alec walked back into the room a few minutes later, a towel in one hand and a glass of water in the other. He held him the glass and Magnus gulped it slowly as Alec wiped the towel over his stomach and down his legs to clean him up solemnly.

When he was done, he stood again, gathering the discarded pieces of his costume.

“Alexander,” Magnus murmured before he could stop himself.

“Mmh?”

“Stay.”

Alec froze and turned to look at Magnus, and there was hurt in his eyes as he spoke, “Will you?”

Magnus opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out apart from a staggering breath. He ducked his head and moved to slide under the sheets.

“I’m sorry,” Alec whispered, stepping forward, if gingerly. “I shouldn’t be trying to force your hand. You should do what makes you happy.”

“Alexander,” Magnus muttered, letting the hint of a smirk tug at the corner of his lips. “I’m too tired to do you again. Lock the porch door on your way out, please.”

There was silence for a while. Magnus shut his eyes, exhaustion waving through him all at once.

Then, the bed dipped next to him and Magnus’ heart skipped a beat as a muscular arm slipped around his waist.

“I’ll stay,” Alec murmured, pressing a soft kiss on the bridge of his ear. “But I won’t be there when you wake up.”

“That sounds fair,” Magnus said.

It didn’t.

It sounded like the worst choice Magnus had ever made.

/.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on tumblr [@lecrit](http://lecrit.tumblr.com/) and on twitter [@_L_ecrit](https://twitter.com/_L_ecrit) ❤
> 
> You'll have to be a bit patient for the next (and last) part, because I'm going to write the next chapter of EMH first!
> 
> Comments and kudos are the new trick or treats.
> 
> All the love,  
> Lu. ❤


	4. To Build A Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thing about promises, whether they were an oath for the truth in a courtroom or an unspoken one of love in a private moment between two souls, is that they tend to get broken.
> 
> Perhaps it was why Magnus expected Alec to break his word. Because people who kept their promises had been rare in his life. Magnus had little faith in people - he could hear Catarina in his head telling him it was because he had lost faith in the one person that he was supposed to always trust when she had left him, but it was too late to ponder on that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my cupcakes,
> 
> Here we are: the final chapter.  
> This requires a huge thank you to Ace, Pravs, Roja and my beautiful wife Ketz (for the legal advice). This wouldn't be half as good if it weren't for you. I love you ❤  
> A huge thank you to Suhasini as well, who threw an idea at me and inspired me to write this. ❤
> 
> Don't forget to read the notes at the end ;)
> 
> And if you're live-tweeting, don't forget to use the #lecrit hashtag or to tag [me](https://twitter.com/_L_ecrit).
> 
> I have no words to tell you how much your support means, cupcakes. You make it all worth it. ❤
> 
> Happy reading.

**  
**

**“I have been and still am a seeker, but I have ceased to question stars and books; I have begun to listen to the teaching my blood whispers to me.”**   


**“Some of us think holding on makes us strong but sometimes it is letting go”**

**―** **Hermann Hesse**

/

The thing about promises, whether they were an oath for the truth in a courtroom or an unspoken one of love in a private moment between two souls, is that they tend to get broken.

Perhaps it was why Magnus expected Alec to break his word. Because people who kept their promises had been rare in his life. Magnus had little faith in people - he could hear Catarina in his head telling him it was because he had lost faith in the one person that he was supposed to always trust when she had left him, but it was too late to ponder on that.

He had known Alec for a few months now, and he should have known that Alec wasn’t one to break his promises. That knowledge didn’t help abate the hole in his chest when he opened his eyes to find the spare pillow empty and the bed cold.

Alec had said he wouldn’t be there when Magnus woke up, and he had kept his word.

Magnus whimpered as a physical ache took over his body, his heart tightening in his chest and he curled up on himself, tucking the abandoned pillow between his arms, burying his nose against the fabric.

Alec’s scent still lingered in the bed, but it was the only remaining proof of their night together. And it was already fading.

.

_“Hey Mom.”_

_“Magnus,” she said, her voice layered with more tenderness than he felt deserving of._

_“You okay?” he asked, frowning as he plucked his earphones in, sliding between the train’s doors before it could leave without him. “You sound… off.”_

_“I’m alright, muffin.”_

_“Mom,” Magnus grunted. “I’m thirty-two. You need to drop that nickname twenty years ago.”_

_Annie laughed, but it only lasted a couple of seconds before she erupted in a coughing fit._

_“Mom?” Magnus called out worriedly. “Are you okay?”_

_“Yes, yes,” she replied with a light chuckle. “Don’t worry about me.” He was about to protest but she tutted disapprovingly and Magnus shut his mouth abruptly. “How are you?”_

_“Good,” Magnus said quickly. “I’m on my way to meet with a French brand who wants their ads featured on my blog. Work is going well.”_

_Annie hummed absently. “Are you happy?” she asked, and the words echoed in Magnus’ head like they had a million times before._

_He sighed heavily, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose._

_“Mom,” he lamented. “Please.”_

_“Humor me, Magnus,” Annie muttered, and there was the hint of a joke in her voice._

_It made Magnus smile despite his annoyance. “I’m happy with my job, yes.”_

_“But are you happy in your life?” Annie retorted._

_Usually, Magnus had always an acerbic answer for his mother’s invasive questions. That day again, he had it at the tip of his tongue and yet, it didn’t come out. She sounded more desperate than she had before, like his response held more importance than ever._

_“Yes,” he said, but his silence had spoken louder than a thousand lies._

_“Magnus,” she sighed, and took a deep breath. “I am your mother. I know when you’re lying to me even through the phone.”_

_“Mom, I really don’t want to do that right now,” he growled. “I’m telling you I’m alright, okay? Stop worrying about me.”_

_“Worrying about you is my job.”_

_Magnus gritted his teeth, jaw flexing with irritation and he slouched against the back of his seat, ignoring the judgmental look of the elderly woman sitting in front of him._

_“It didn’t prevent you from leaving me here as a teenager when you moved to Nashville,” he retorted with more spite than strictly necessary._

_There was silence on the other side of the line for a while, and guilt made his stomach wrench, but his resentment was stronger, running in his veins like a rotten source._

_“I’m sorry,” Annie whispered, voice weak and utterly apologetic._

_“No,” Magnus muttered, chewing on his bottom lip. “I’m sorry. I’m being childish.”_

_“You’re right, though,” his mother said softly. “I left you behind and… you deserve to know why but I can’t do that on the phone. I’ll explain everything the next time I see you, I promise.”_

_Magnus stayed quiet for a moment, wondering inwardly when his conversations with his mother had started to be filled with more silences than cheerful, silly talks about their days. Their relationship had shifted at some point, and he knew they were both to blame for it, but it didn’t make it any less painful._

_“I’ll come for Thanksgiving,” he mumbled._

_“Thanksgiving,” Annie echoed pensively, like she was pondering on some deeper meaning to such a simple thing. “That sounds good. I’ll invite Ragnor too. I haven’t seen him in a while.”_

_“I’m actually seeing him tonight,” Magnus said with a small smile. “He’s leaving tomorrow for Italy, he’ll be gone for six months, the lucky bastard.”_

_“You could use six months away from New York too,” Annie remarked and this time, Magnus couldn’t hold back an annoyed groan._

_“Mom, New York is my home,” he told her persistently. “I have my friends here, my job. My dogs.”_

_Annie chuckled faintly at the last one. “That doesn’t mean it can’t change. You’re holding on to a life that doesn’t let you blossom.”_

_“Just because you weren’t happy here doesn’t mean it’s the same for me,” Magnus retorted, tone layered with a frustration that was starting to feel too customary. He heaved out a deep sigh, resisting the urge to slide a hand in his hair. He had spent too much time making it perfect to waste it because of his usual quarrels with his mother. “Look, Mom, I really don’t want to have this fight with you again.”_

_“Mother knows best,” Annie replied, and there was a fond smile in her voice but Magnus chose to ignore it. “But ok, muffin. I just want you to be happy. That’s all I ever wanted.”_

_Magnus had trouble swallowing past the lump in his throat but he welcomed the distraction of the subway doors opening at his stop, leaping to his feet and out of the train._

_“I know,” he admitted. Or at least, he thought he did, or that it seemed like the right way to answer because he saw no point in telling her yet again how unhappy she had left him when she had moved to Indiana all those years ago._

_Some truths were better when they remained unspoken._

_He was about to talk when she started coughing yet again on the other side of the line, her breathing clearly laborious. Magnus frowned, navigating his way between strangers to get out of the station._

_“Mom, are you sure you’re okay?”_

_She took an audible deep breath, the sound too rough to be fully reassuring. “Yeah, it’s just a cold,” she said. “Nothing to worry about.”_

_“It’s May,” Magnus deadpanned. “How did you catch a cold in May?”_

_“Had a swim in the pond,” she replied almost immediately, like the well-rehearsed dialogue of a play he wasn’t a part of._

_Magnus rolled his eyes, oblivious to the lack of honesty in her tone. “You’ll have all the time for that in the summer, Mom,” he scolded her, feeling like the roles had been reversed for once._

_“Yes, yes,” she said, and she sounded oddly absent again. “Don’t worry about me, muffin. I have friends here. Good people who take care of me.”_

_“I’ll come for Thanksgiving,” Magnus repeated, adamant. “I was going to come for Clary’s wedding anyway.”_

_“That’d be great,” Annie replied, and there were tears in her voice. “I miss you.”_

_Magnus stopped dead in his tracks, flipping off a bypasser who cursed at him when he bumped into his back. “Mom, don’t cry,” he muttered. “I miss you too. I can come earlier than that if you want. I can come this weekend.”_

_“No, no,” Annie chuckled, sniffing. “No need to disrupt your plans. Thanksgiving is good.”_

_“How about this summer?” Magnus offered, chewing on his bottom lip. “I can come for a week this summer. We could go on a road trip. Like we did thirteen years ago. It’s been a while.”_

_“That sounds marvelous, muffin,” Annie said softly. “Maybe we can talk then.”_

_Magnus paused, inhaling deeply through his nose and walked in the coffee shop where he had scheduled his appointment. He was early, but he settled in the queue to the counter anyway._

_“I’d like that,” he said. “I miss our talks.”_

_“Me too,” Annie breathed out, and she wasn’t crying anymore, but her voice was heavy with emotion. “I just really want you to be happy, Magnus. And I know it’s partly my fault if you aren’t.” Magnus was about to interrupt her, but she tutted him and he closed his mouth immediately. “I’m not taking the whole blame for it, because it mostly depends on you. You have the power of changing what you don’t like in your life and I can’t make the choice for you… I can only give you a little nudge in the right direction.”_

_“Would that be the direction of Nashville, Indiana by any chance?” Magnus asked tauntingly, sarcasm dripping off of every word._

_“You said it, not me,” Annie retorted playfully, the smirk audible in her voice._

_“Alright Mom,” he chuckled. “I’ve gotta go. I’ll talk to you later. I’ll let you know about this summer.”_

_“Okay, muffin,” she said softly, apprehensively. “I love you.”_

_Magnus blinked, his lips parting slightly. It wasn’t that he didn’t know but somehow, uttering these words had stopped being a habit between them through time and absence, and he had forgotten what they sounded like in her mouth, full of tenderness and cherishing._

_“I love you too,” he muttered._

_“You deserve to be happy, Magnus,” Annie said. “You just need to stop looking for reasons not to be.”_

_She hung up before he could answer, leaving him with his mouth hanging open in the middle of the coffee shop. It took him a moment to be able to voice his order to the barista properly, heart tight in his chest._

.

It was the buzz of his phone that pulled him out of his daze. He blinked his eyes open, grabbing it to read through the text.

_Can’t make it this morning_ , Simon had written. _Bad hangover. I’ll come over tomorrow._

Magnus sighed, rubbing at his eyes and he got out of bed slowly, dragging himself to the shower and then downstairs, hair still dripping.

The living room was immaculate, not a trace of the previous night’s frivolities left to witness of the party it had held. Jimmy Chew welcomed him with a bark, leaping off the couch to jump on his legs, tail wiggling in excitement. It took Bark Jacobs a couple of seconds to come dashing from the garden and do the same and Magnus greeted them both, plastering a fake smile on his lips as if he could fool them.

He walked to the kitchen, just as clean as the rest of the house, and his heart sunk in his chest. It was like Alec had never been there, like he had carefully removed all evidence of his presence there the night before and Magnus’ body ached from a soreness that wasn’t solely due to how passionate their embrace had been. He put the coffee machine on and poured himself a mug. He dropped on his usual chair on the porch, resting his elbow on the armrest and his cheek on his closed fist, eyes lost in the horizon.

The pond was calm that morning but the air was chilly, and Magnus was painfully aware that he was just wearing a t-shirt, but he felt too numb to truly feel the cold or go back inside to grab a sweater.

“You need to stop looking for reasons not to be,” he murmured to no one, her voice echoing in his mind like a painful reminder.

It was odd, how he could recall the last conversation they had almost word to word, but he was already starting to forget the exact shade of her eyes or how soft her voice had sounded when she had stubbornly kept calling him muffin even after he had been an adult for quite some time.

Suddenly, the air he had grown accustomed to, devoid of pollution and the nasty smells that sometimes scattered the streets of New York, seemed suffocating. It felt like too much and Magnus needed to get out of here.

With a jerk, he rose to his feet and went inside to fetch a sweater. He slid into his favorite leather boots and grabbed the car keys from the bowl in the hall, calling for his dogs to follow him before he dashed out of the house, letting them leap in the backseat.

And then he was driving.

The car spun off the mud, then the asphalt of the roads of Nashville and he drove past them all until he was out of the city, his grip tight around the steering wheel, his mind swirling with a million thoughts.

Gazing straight ahead, Magnus forgot about the world outside the claustrophobic comfort of the car and he drove, drove, drove until his legs felt numb from sitting for too long and he finally stopped. Even when he did, he didn’t get out of the car immediately, inhaling deeply, putting all his efforts in soothing the thunderous beatings of his heart.

He looked up, and the air was knocked out of his lungs.

He remembered this place. He had only been there once, with his mother, when he had been nineteen and they had gone on a road trip through Indiana and its bordering states. But now that he was facing it, the memory seemed so fresh in his mind it was like those thirteen years had never happened.

It had changed, though, since the last time he had been there. It had been summer when his mother and him had gone on their road trip, but now the fall was slowly drifting to its end. Its magnificent colors still remained for the time being, and it was breathtaking, scarlet and gold scattering the blue sky mirrored by the lake, which laid without a ripple.

It was like time itself had frozen. The chill wind, first hint of the winter that wasn’t far behind, whiffed through Magnus like a caress.

He walked along the shore with measured steps, hands sunk deep in his pockets, Bark Jacobs and Jimmy Chew trotting blissfully after him. There were no rain clouds in the sky and he couldn’t resist the urge to take a picture of the scenery before his eyes, immediately forwarding it to Raphael, Catarina and Ragnor. He pondered on the words to accompany it, but he couldn’t find anything that would truly express how he felt about the place, and even less how he felt in his heart.

The sign in front of him read Patoka Lake so he just wrote down those words, sent the texts and slumped down on a rock, letting his dogs explore these new surroundings, sniffing and digging and rolling around without a single care in the world.

Magnus envied them, how easily they found enthusiasm in the simplest things, how they weren’t capable of questioning their entire existence and everything they had ever believed in. How they didn’t try to find excuses to push away a happiness they didn’t feel deserving of.

How they were too happy to ever hold a grudge against the most important people in their life even after they were gone forever.

Because they weren’t capable of guilt, or resentment, or anger.

All they had was unconditional love, and it was proven to him yet again when Jimmy Chew and Bark Jacobs came trotting his way, depositing branches at his feet like they were precious things of great value and Magnus recognized the gesture immediately.

Whenever he was feeling down and they could sense it, they would bring random objects of the house to him, but there was nothing around except for rocks and trees so they had gone for the next best thing. It managed to tear a smile out of him.

“You’re so much better than people,” he told them shrewdly. “Human beings suck. They give you feelings.”

BJ barked enthusiastically, nudging his muzzle against his knee while JC nipped at his ankle.

“Feelings suck too,” he grumbled, patting their heads obediently. “I don’t want them.”

Jimmy Chew whined sheepishly, lowering his head as if he was being scolded.

“Not you, drama queen,” Magnus said, rolling his eyes. “You’re my baby.”

Jimmy Chew didn’t answer - not that it was much of a surprise - but nuzzled against Magnus’ ankle again. Magnus sighed and ran a hand over his features, before looking up at the lake again. The air was getting colder, no trees to stop the wind from lowering the temperature on this side of the water and Magnus closed his eyes, enjoying the utter silence around him.

There was nothing but the sound of the water slowly creeping on the shore, the wind dancing on the surface, the distant noise of cars driving, a city far away.

Magnus inhaled deeply, filling his lungs, letting the pure air clear his mind.

He stayed there for a long time, absorbing his surroundings, feeding on the quietness, immersing himself in this place that belonged to no man.

It was the loud tone of _Born This Way_ that brought him back to reality and he heaved out a deep sigh, plucking his phone out of his pocket. He was ready to ignore it, but Jace’s name flashed on his screen and his curiosity was piqued, so he picked up almost immediately.

“Hey Jace.”

“Are you okay?” Jace asked at once, alarmed.

Magnus frowned, straightening up at once. “What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean -” Jace started, but quickly cut himself off. “I’m at your place. Where are you?”

“Out,” Magnus replied simply, because he didn’t feel like explaining exactly where he was and why.

“Oh, thank God,” Jace sighed. “I thought you got crushed and died or something.”

Magnus lifted a puzzled eyebrow for the sole sake of dramatics and scoffed. “What are you talking about?”

“Your roof,” Jace said, clearing his throat awkwardly. “A part of it collapsed and -”

“Stop,” Magnus breathed out, his voice barely above a whisper, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Please don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. I’m selling that damn house. And if I can’t sell it, I’ll fucking burn it to the ground.”

“What?” his friend exclaimed. “Magnus, no!”

“I’m tired, Jace,” he sighed. “My mother came here to pursue her own desires, because she wanted a change of life. I didn’t want it, and I don’t see why I couldn’t do exactly what she did by going back to New York.”

Jace was silent for a moment, like he was pondering his next words. “Magnus, I like you and all, but I don’t think your lack of happiness comes from either Nashville or New York. It comes from you. You’re still grieving, and that’s one thing, but you’re also too stubborn and too proud to let go.” His voice was serious, bluntly honest and Magnus inhaled deeply, taking in the words, and the meaning lying beneath them. “It’s not about the place, it’s about what you make of it. The people you surround yourself with. Home is not a place, Magnus. It’s a feeling.”

“You’re getting married to the love of your life,” Magnus replied, trying to keep the bitterness away from his tone as much as possible. “It’s easy for you to say.”

“It is,” Jace said, “but it hasn’t always been. I’m an orphan, Magnus. I know what you’re going through. The loneliness. The constant heartbreak. It gets better.”

_When?_ Magnus thought, but kept to himself.

“I'll talk to you later,” he said instead.

He hung up before Jace could voice a protest. He stared at the screen of his phone for a while. At the picture of his dogs with Buck Alec had sent him while he was in New York, the three of them sitting next to each other, facing the pond.

When he looked up from the screen, his dogs were staring at him expectantly, and he blew out a sigh, rising to his feet.

“Let's go, puppies,” he said. “We have somewhere we need to be.”

They walked back to the Volvo together and Magnus took one last look at the lake, heart throbbing painfully in his chest before he climbed behind the wheel. He closed his eyes, head falling back against the seat and startled when his phone rang again, Jace’s name flashing on the screen.

Magnus turned off his phone and started the engine.

The trip back to Nashville seemed somehow much longer, the alleys of trees forming a breathtaking path for him that felt almost providential.

When the Nashville sign finally appeared in front of his eyes, two hours later, he didn't drive back to the pond. He didn't want to see that house that hated him. That clearly wanted him gone.

He took left instead and reached his destination five minutes later.

The wind blew harder when he got out of the car, and he regretted having put nothing but a sweater on in the morning. It was already late afternoon and he was starving but he only realized it now that his stomach was grumbling. The day had come and gone in the blink of an eye, as if time had sped up to make his ache more bearable.

He stared at the iron gates for a while, his chest constricting with anticipation and dismay.

That was it. As soon as he stepped in, it was going to be real.

There was no turning back from this.

Jimmy Chew and Bark Jacobs were uncharacteristically quiet at his feet, like they understood the meaning of this moment as well as he did.

It took him ten, perhaps fifteen minutes to finally gather his courage and step inside the cemetery.

The sky was a deep blue and it seemed almost offensive, that this constancy would linger when everything felt grey to him as he wandered in the alleys, keeping his eyes firmly away from the graves of strangers that lined his way to his mother's one.

It was at the very end of the path and the closer he got, the more he slowed down his steps, stomach clenching with dread.

Annie's grave was beautiful, if such could be said of a tomb. It was a light grey stone, carved to shape an oval form with one edge peering towards the sky.

Her name, Annisa Bane, was written in beautiful, round letters, matching perfectly the extravagant elegance she had displayed throughout her life. Magnus wondered if Jocelyn had anything to do with it.

He sat down in front of her grave, staring at the name absently, and at the epitaph that underlined it.

_I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. - Jack London_

It managed to tear a tiny smile out of him and he pressed a kiss on JC’s head as he climbed on his lap and settled there, resting his chin on Magnus’ forearm.

“Hey Mom,” he whispered.

It felt silly, talking to her now that she was gone, that she wouldn't answer, but it also felt oddly liberating.

“So… five months in Nashville,” he said, and stopped.

He didn't even know how to explain what his time here had done to him. To his convictions and his beliefs. To his heart.

“I don't hate it as much as I'd like to,” Magnus admitted. “And I guess you were right, it's mostly thanks to the people there. And the pond. I hadn't realized how gorgeous it was before.” He paused, picking a fallen leaf of the ground and twirling it between his thumb and index, watching it dance absently. “I'm still mad at you, though. No matter how special this place can be, was it worth leaving me behind? And letting our relationship deteriorate like it did? I'm not saying you're the only one responsible,” he added quickly, before scoffing in exasperation, running a hand over his tired features.

“I'm going crazy, talking to you as if you were here.”

The wind came swirling in his hair, making him shiver and he brought his knees to his chest, resting his chin there.

“I wish you were here,” he confessed in a whisper. “I still have my plane tickets for Thanksgiving because I had planned on visiting you. And now… well, I might use them to put this place behind me. I want to but…”

Magnus heaved out a deep sigh, groaning in frustration. “I don't know anymore. It doesn't seem so evident now.”

BJ barked at his side and Magnus rolled his eyes.

“These two already have their mind set up,” he said, ruffling both his dogs’ heads. “They like it here.”

Magnus ran a finger on the stone, in a tender gesture that was heavier than his words.

“I’ve been here for five months and I still haven’t been in the master bedroom,” Magnus conceded. “At least once a week, I walk up there determined to go in and tidy what needs to be. I stop in front of the door and I stare at it for twenty minutes. I keep telling myself to do it, just do it. It can’t be that bad. But I’m scared. I can’t dislodge you from that house. It’s yours. It’s always been yours. It can’t be mine.”

“You know I don’t believe in coincidences,” he added softly. “And I think it’s clear that it has been rejecting me quite adamantly.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “I’m going to leave, Mom. I’m going back to New York. I tried. Maybe not as hard as I could have, but I did and I’m tired now.”

He pushed Jimmy Chew off his lap gently and rose back to his feet, fingers stroking the cold stone.

“You were right about one thing,” he muttered. “I do get along well with Alec. I like him. I don't think I've ever liked anyone the way I like him. Don’t get all smug about it, though, because it’s already over anyway. You know I’ve never been good at saying yes to the things that were good for me.”

“ _The function of man is to live, not to exist_ ,” he quoted, holding back his tears as well as possible. “ _I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them. I shall use my time._ ” He smiled, albeit sadly, eyes roaming on the grave’s epitaph. “I miss you, Mom. More than I ever thought I would.”

And he turned around, quickly making his way out of the cemetery, his lungs burning with the need to breath.

Magnus hadn’t been bothered by the howl of the wind before, but now that he was traversing this place again, it felt like it was all he could hear, the whistling of the breeze in his ears.

It wasn’t until he was back in the car and he let himself sink against the seat, slumping against the vintage leather, that he managed to tame the trembling of his fingers.

“You did it,” he told himself. “It took you five months, but you did it.”

It took him another ten minutes to start the Volvo and take the road back to the house.

.

Whatever he had been expecting, it wasn't the gaping hole on the roof above the garage, and even less the sight of Jace and Alec sitting on that roof, fixing back the fallen tiles.

Luke was there, shouting directions from the ground, and Simon, Clary and Isabelle too, but their roles seemed to be mostly figurative - or cheering, if Simon holding a plate of muffins could be considered that. Magnus was pretty sure Clary was only there to stare at her fiancé's muscles flexing as he worked.

Magnus turned off the car and got out, opening the back door for his dogs, who leaped off the backseat and immediately ran to join Buck, who was sitting on the steps leading to the front door with Isabelle.

He observed the scene before him with an eyebrow curved, but couldn't really bring himself to feel surprised. It was very much like them to fix his roof before he even had to ask for help. He probably wouldn't have anyway.

“Hey kiddo,” Luke called out with a smile as he approached them, so wide and affectionate that Magnus felt awfully welcomed. Like he was coming home to a family he had created for himself. It was a dreadful feeling. “Jace called us about the roof.”

Magnus hummed absently, gazing up at the two men on the damaged roof, hammers in their hands and he forced himself to tear his eyes away from Alec, focusing back on Luke instead.

“You didn't have to,” he said. “The next owner will fix it.”

“What?” Luke exclaimed, lips parting in shock.

“Help yourself to the food if you’re hungry,” he said in lieu of an answer. “You know the house. Surely better than I do.”

And without another word, he walked away, taking the steps to the front door instead. He gave a weak smile to Isabelle, but didn't stop, touring past her and inside.

His hunger had subdued now, the knot in his stomach making it impossible for him to eat anything, so he went directly up to the guest room and toed off his shoes before falling head first on the bed, curling up in a fetal position, grabbing the extra blanket to wrap it over himself.

By the window, he could see the sun slowly setting above the high trees of the wood surrounding the pond. It bathed the sky in a breathtaking blending of colors, pink and orange clouds meddling perfectly with the leaves of fall.

He plucked his phone out of his pocket and switched it on, and it immediately starting vibrating in his hand, with enough intent that it broke the silence of the room completely.

He had a lot of texts from a worried Jace, which was understandable considering he had all but hung up on him earlier, and some from Clary, Simon and Isabelle that were all of the same vein.

And then there was one from Ragnor. About Thanksgiving. And Magnus’ tears fled freely, rolling down his cheeks and landing on the curve of his lips. They were just silent tears, not a violent sob, not a frenzied crisis like he had had before, but they were a desperate cry for a semblance of release, for an ease of the pain in his heart.

It felt ever-lasting, and just right then, he realized it was.

Life was going on. It would go on without her. Time had stopped for Annie, but only for her. The absence she had left behind, it had survived her. It would escort him everyday.

Grief came in waves, and it was a merciless ocean, a master of the soul, threatening to consume him entirely. It felt like drowning, and it clouded everything else, any coherence, level-headedness or rationality.

His mother was gone, and Magnus had to accept it, or he would be left an empty shell.

The sound of the door opening behind him made him startle and he quickly wiped the tears off his cheeks, but didn't turn to face the intruder. He knew who it was before Alec even spoke, though, because his cologne invaded his nostrils in the spur of a second - or maybe it was that it still lingered on the sheets after their night together, he wasn’t quite sure.

The bed dipped behind him, but Magnus didn't move.

“Hey,” Alec said softly.

Magnus cleared his throat, mustering as much cheerfulness to his tone as he could. “Hey.”

“Are you okay?”

“Why do you care?” Magnus snarled, and immediately regretted it. He hid his face with the sleeve of his sweater, heaving. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “I'm sorry. That wasn't fair.”

“It's okay,” Alec replied, tone equally regretful and hesitant. “I should apologize. I shouldn't have left this morning. We should have talked.”

Magnus shrugged, the gesture made somewhat difficult by his position on the bed. “Not much to talk about. We had sex.”

“We did,” Alec allowed. “It was pretty good, too,” he added playfully and Magnus recognized the lame attempt at cheering him up, just as he recognized that it was working, strangely.

He huffed out a laugh, looking over his shoulder to quirk an eyebrow at him. “Better than cheesecake?”

Alec chuckled, his tempting lips tipping up. “Don't be too self-confident, Magnus.”

He stuck his tongue out at him, because it was the adult thing to do and turned back to face the window, heart throbbing in his chest.

Alec blew out a deep breath behind him and rose from the bed. Magnus heard shuffling but he didn't dare peak over his shoulder to see him leaving.

It was what happened when you put your heart in other people's hands. They left, or they died. Sometimes, they even managed to do both and hurt you in equal measures.

But Alec didn't leave. The bed dipped again and a second later, he was laying against Magnus, one arm draped around his waist, tugging him against his chest.

Magnus held his breath and wondered if that was what the release he had been seeking felt like.

“I don't want you to leave,” Alec whispered against his ear, and the fact that Magnus couldn't see his eyes made it somewhat more manageable. “But I won't force you or guilt-trip you into staying. It has to come from you. It has to be your choice. Until then, we can be friends.”

Magnus bit on his bottom lip, inhaling deeply, and shuffled to turn around in Alec's arms, gazing up to dive in the hazel of his eyes.

“I don't think I'm going to stay,” he confessed in a whisper. “I don't think I can.”

Alec's eyes flashed with hurt, but it was gone as quickly as it had come and he smiled instead, although it looked awfully contrived.

“Friends, then,” he mumbled sheepishly, as if it was a possible option, as if their mere position didn't speak differently, as if the way he was gazing down at Magnus could be considered remotely friendly.

“Friends,” Magnus agreed anyway, and buried his face in Alec's chest.

Alec tightened his hold, laying his cheek against Magnus’ temple.

He wondered if it could be it. The best way to heal, to tame the ache in his heart.

Relief. Comfort. Peace.

He didn't know when he had started to rely on Alec to find those, but he could only admit that he had, and that it felt somehow natural now.

“I went to the cemetery,” he murmured, so low he wasn't sure Alec would hear him. His fingers started moving along Magnus’ back, and he knew he had. “I thought I'd feel better and I think I kind of do, but I'm not really sure because… it still hurts. I have this hole in my chest and it's not going away.”

Alec's breath was sharp against his hairline. “It's not going to go away,” he whispered. “It's always going to hurt. Trust me, I know.”

“I know,” Magnus said, picking with his nail at one of the buttons of Alec's shirt.

“It gets better with time,” Alec vowed, fingertips brushing the nape of Magnus' neck and sending a shiver down his spine. “It still hurts but it's… more like a muted pain. It's here, but if you can focus on the good things in your life, it becomes more bearable. You don't forget, but you go on. It's like a hot-air balloon ballasting some weight to fly higher.”

“What if it never gets better?” Magnus asked.

“It will,” Alec assured him.

“But what if it doesn't?”

Alec's fingers stopped playing with his hair to tip Magnus’ chin up instead and he found himself staring into the hazel again, so full of sincerity and assurance that it made his heart miss a beat.

“It will,” Alec promised.

Magnus didn't reply, but he nodded gingerly, although he wasn't fully convinced.

“Hey,” Alec murmured, brushing his thumb on Magnus’ cheeks to wipe away a few remaining tears. “Are my three wishes still available?”

“Two, Alexander,” Magnus retorted with a disbelieving scoff. “You burned one when you asked why I dressed up my dogs.”

Alec rolled his eyes, but an amused smirk came tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Fair enough,” he said. “I want to use one then.”

Magnus’ brow furrowed scarcely, and he curved an eyebrow but remained silent.

“I wish for you to stop thinking you're alone,” Alec muttered solemnly. “You're not. I know that’s what you’re used to. Being on your own, taking care of yourself. But you're not alone, not anymore and sometimes it's alright to lean on your friends for support when it feels like you can't hold on by yourself. That's what we're here for.”

For a while, there was silence and if Magnus used it to ponder on Alec's words, it soon tugged an exasperated groan out of his throat.

“Why do you do this to me?” he complained, fingers pinching the button of his shirt in retaliation. “I had my mind set up and now I'm doubting again.”

Alec smirked, somewhat mischievously. “That's what friends do, isn't it? They challenge you.”

“You're a shitty friend,” Magnus pouted and he felt Alec's chest tremble against him as he chuckled.

“The worst,” Alec allowed, and he leaned down to brush his lips against Magnus’ in a feathery touch.

Magnus’ breath hitched in his throat but he moved forward, pressing their mouths together in a proper kiss. It was slow and languid, comforting in ways words could never be. His lips felt scorching against Magnus’, spreading warmth in the rest of him in one long shiver. It was chaste, far more innocent than their heated kisses had been the night before, but it felt more meaningful somehow, because they were taking their time, exploring each other’s mouth like a new but intriguing territory. Alec had been patient beyond measure with Magnus, and this kiss was another proof of it, a promise of a willingness to endure even more.

Alec was the first one to draw back, but then again, he had always been the level-headed one out of the two of them.

“I really hope you don’t do that with all your friends,” Magnus said, licking his lips.

Alec chuckled and planted a kiss on his forehead. “Only the very special ones.”

Magnus heaved out a contented sigh. “That’s what all friends should do.”

Alec giggled - _fucking giggled_ \- and bent down to peck Magnus’ lips again. “We’re just great friends,” he muttered between two kisses.

“Totally friends,” Magnus agreed, toes curling as he reached for more.

Alec smiled against him, tongue poking out to slide on the seam of his lips, and Magnus moaned but pulled back almost immediately.

“Ok,” he breathed out, leaning his forehead against Alec’s, eyes closed in a both peaceful and overwhelmed daze. “Let’s be real, this is not what friends do.”

“Maybe not in New York,” Alec retorted teasingly. “You still have much to learn about Nashville.”

Magnus snorted, rolling his eyes. “I’m serious, Alexander. Trust me, I want to. But it wouldn’t be fair to you.” He swallowed hard, tipping his chin up to glance into his eyes, the hint of an apologetic smile on his lips. “You deserve better.”

Alec sighed heavily, but nodded. “I decide what I deserve, Bane,” he muttered. “But you’re right. I can’t just let you break my heart.”

Magnus’ breath hitched in his throat and he blinked, pulling back slightly to get a better look at Alec, who simply quirked an eyebrow in inquiry. “I didn’t know I could,” Magnus breathed out.

Alec scoffed in both disbelief and exasperation. “You’re an idiot,” he said. “Why else am I here?”

“The dogs?” Magnus offered sheepishly, but he was unable to prevent the wide grin tugging at his lips. He had to bite on his bottom lip to stop himself from looking like a complete lunatic.

“Yeah, true,” Alec replied with a chuckle, eyes shining with mischief.

There was a knock on the door and Magnus startled, but Alec didn’t seem remotely unfazed.

“Guys, are you decent?” Jace’s voice called out. “Can I come in?”

“Define decent,” Magnus cried out, earning himself a disapproving glare in reward. He sent Alec a playful wink in answer, and Alec rolled his eyes, but laughed, slowly pulling back from Magnus to sit down on the bed.

“A good start would be wearing clothes,” Jace clarified. “Also, no genitals where I can see them. Actually, it might be alarming if I _can’t_ see them. No genitals out.”

“Oh God,” Alec groaned and he leaped out of bed to open the door himself, his movements escorted by Magnus’ laughter in his back.

Jace startled when he opened the door, but quickly recovered, a shit-eating smirk tugging his lips up.

“You’re an idiot and I hate you,” Alec told him reasonably.

“Well, you used to say that about Magnus and now you’re practically married so I’m sure you’ll change your mind soon enough,” Jace retorted, and ducked to avoid the blow aimed to the back of his head.

“Why are you here, Jace?” Alec gritted out through clenched teeth.

“We’re done with the roof for today,” he said, shrugging. “Luke offered to call a friend of his, Alaric, to come fix it properly tomorrow if you want, Magnus.”

“Sure,” he replied absently from where he was sitting with his legs crossed on the bed. “Thank you.”

“That’s for the good news. Do you want to hear the bad one?”

Magnus frowned, but blew out a deep sigh. “Shoot. It’s not like I’ve been spared lately.”

Jace seemed to hesitate for a moment, and then he reached up to stroke the nape of his neck in a nervous gesture that was so utterly _Lightwood_ that Magnus had to hold back a smile.

“Izzy is cooking,” he said.

Magnus raised an eyebrow, confused, but he didn’t have time to voice his perplexity out loud.

“What?” Alec exclaimed, pushing Jace out of the way to dash outside the bedroom. “And you let her?”

When he was gone, the sound of his rushed steps stomping on the stairs, Jace turned to Magnus, his smirk widening.

“She’s not really cooking,” he admitted, eyes twinkling maliciously. “But Simon and her are about to start making out and if I try to stop them, Clary will kill me.”

Magnus gasped. “What? He can’t stop them!”

He ran out of the door after Alec and found him quite easily, standing in the kitchen with a puzzled look on his handsome features. He curved an eyebrow and stepped on the porch, only to freeze entirely, eyes riveted on the side on something Magnus couldn’t see - but could easily imagine.

His brow furrowed and Magnus wasn’t sure whether it was in anger or in confusion, but he knew Alec enough to recognize when he was about to do something impulsive, so he didn’t fathom on it any longer and ran the rest of the way to him, jumping on his back.

Alec yelped, surprised, but quickly recovered, eyes darting to Simon and Isabelle who were looking at them bewilderedly, lips shiny and slightly puffed. One of Simon’s hand was resting on Isabelle’s thigh, and Magnus sighed inwardly.

“Keep your hands off -” Alec started in a threatening growl, but Magnus slammed a hand over his mouth to shut him up.

“Please continue,” Magnus told them with a sweet smile. “I need to talk to this donkey.”

Alec made a sound of protest at the back of his throat, but Magnus didn’t remove his hand.

“Get inside, Alexander,” he demanded. “The house, of course. I meant the house.”

Alec rolled his eyes, but Magnus didn’t miss the amused flicker that lit them up for a second. He walked inside anyway and only then did Magnus release him.

“What?” Alec groaned immediately, just a hint petulantly.

“Let them live,” he said softly, landing gracefully on his feet and circling him to face him. “Seamus is wonderful and you know he’ll treat your sister like the queen she is.”

“Oh, I know,” Alec replied without hesitating.

Magnus frowned. “Then why were you ready to go all ballistic overprotective big brother on him?”

“I just want to scare him a bit,” Alec said with a smirk. “Simon is too easy to tease. And trust me, Izzy doesn’t need me to protect her. If he ever hurts her, I pity him.”

“Yeah,” Magnus said, nose scrunching up in a grimace. “Me too.”

“Can I go and give him a fright now?” Alec asked, pouting. “Please?”

Magnus groaned in exasperation. “Fine,” he sighed. “But don’t be too harsh on him or he’s going to run away and do nothing for two more years.”

Alec’s face broke into a grin and he leaned in to press a kiss to Magnus’ forehead.

“I’ll be good,” he promised, and promptly disappeared outside again. “Keep your hands off my sister!” he yelled dramatically.

Magnus rolled his eyes but chuckled lowly, erupting in a proper laugh at Simon’s frightened cry. It took him a couple of minutes - and Luke patting his back with a chuckle - to stop staring at the door, a stupid smile on his face.

.

“So you had sex with the vet, then he bailed on you, and now you’re friends again. But you kissed again. Because that’s what friends do, _obviously_.”

“Pretty much, yeah,” Magnus said, nodding.

“You’re an idiot,” Raphael deadpanned.

Magnus narrowed his eyes at the screen, but his friend didn’t seem impressed.

“How do you feel about him?” Catarina asked, completely ignoring Raphael next to her.

“I don’t know,” he replied truthfully. “I know I care about him. I know I like him more than I’ve ever liked anyone.”

They didn’t respond immediately, Catarina pulling a pensive grimace while Raphael just looked incredibly bored, but then again, that was his resting face. Magnus waited patiently, laying his grocery shopping bags in the trunk of the car and closing it before heading towards the bakery. It was a five minutes walk but he hadn’t had his pastries this morning again and he was craving them. Two days without Simon’s almond croissants were too much, not that he would ever admit it out loud.

Finally, Raphael rolled his eyes. “This is so you.”

“What?” Magnus exclaimed, frowning.

“Falling for the guy whom you hated at first,” Raphael explained. “Then finding any reason to fuck it up because you’re scared.”

“I’m not scared,” Magnus protested vehemently.

“You’re terrified,” his friend asserted, not an ounce of hesitation to his tone. “You always go to the people who are wrong for you, just like you did with Camille, because you know from the start that they are bad so you’re not truly disappointed when they end up breaking your heart. It just comforts you in your first idea.”

“That’s not true,” Magnus replied, although it lacked his previous verve.

“And then you have Alec, who is kind and smart and ridiculously good-looking - seriously, what’s up with the people in this city?”

“I know, right?” Magnus exclaimed, temporarily distracted.

“Not the point,” Raphael said, as if he hadn’t been the one digressing in the first place. “Alec is a good man, who is head over heels for you and yet, you can’t bring yourself to put your heart in his hands like you did with people much worse than him. You’re not giving him a chance.”

Magnus paused, stopping dead in his tracks. A car pulled up short next to him to avoid hitting him and he startled, looking up with a look of both horror and shock on his face. He relaxed, though, when he was only greeted by Meliorn, the local florist, who waved at him from behind the wheel and mouthed “sorry, I didn’t see you”.

Magnus waved back, shrugged and resumed walking, pulling himself back together. “Are you telling me to stay in Nashville?” he asked lowly.

“I’m telling you that running away from your feelings for Alec because you’re scared shouldn’t be a decisive factor in your choice whether or not to come back to New York,” Raphael replied unapologetically.

Magnus swallowed hard, heaving out a deep breath.

“Babe, it’s okay,” Catarina chimed in, in her eternally gentle tone. “You deserve to be happy.”

There was another silence, and then, “I don’t know how,” Magnus confessed in a small voice.

“You will,” they said in a same voice and Magnus felt his heart swell in his chest.

“Oh, shut up,” he grunted. “You’re making me emotional and I’m enough of a mess as it is lately.”

“You’re always a mess,” Raphael stated, impassive. “I’m pretty sure it’s your middle name.”

“Is yours Asshole?” Magnus grunted petulantly.

Raphael smirked devilishly. “Can you believe you chose this asshole to be your best friend?”

“I regret it every single day of my life,” Magnus said dramatically, stopping in front of the bakery. “Gotta go. I’ve got some things to settle with Steve.”

“It’s Simon,” Raphael sighed. “Even I know it’s Simon.”

“See you for Thanksgiving,” Magnus replied, dismissing his comment with a flourish of his hand. “Love you.”

“We love you too,” Catarina said, elbowing Raphael in the ribs when he only grumbled something under his breath.

Magnus chuckled and hung up, shoving his hands-free kit back in his pocket, before walking in the bakery. Elaine was behind the counter as always, setting a tray of fresh cinnamon rolls behind the window display, the wonderful smell dancing all the way to his nose.

Elaine beamed at the sight of him, wiping her hands on her apron. “Magnus, darling!” she exclaimed cheerfully. “How can I help you?”

“I’m looking for Simon,” he said with a small smile. “I need to talk to him.”

“He’s in the kitchen,” she said, pointing with her thumb at the door in her back. “Just try not to disturb his mojo,” she added with a smirk, fondly mocking.

Magnus nodded and followed the direction she had indicated. If the shop itself smelled divinely, it was nothing compared to the kitchen, cinnamon, apple and fresh bread mixing together to create an entrancing scent that made Magnus’ mouth water in the spur of a second.

Simon was standing with his back to him, focused on piping a meringue out on a baking sheet.

“Hey,” Magnus called out softly, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Simon startled some and glanced over his shoulder to look at him, but quickly got back to his task. “Hey,” he replied, with none of his usual enthusiasm.

Magnus pulled a face, but walked closer anyway. “So… You and Izzy?”

Simon’s lips twitched with the beginning of a smile and it was awfully obvious that he was trying to tame his need to blabber about how happy he was.

“Yeah,” he simply said instead, voice hitching up in spite of himself. He cleared his throat, eyes riveted on his task. “Yeah,” he tried again.

It seemed like Magnus wasn’t going to get much else out of him.

“Look, Shiloh, I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I never stopped to think that I would be missed when I leave… _if_ I leave. It’s not something I’m used to, having people who care for me that way. I’m sorry if I made you feel like I was happy to get away from you guys. I’m not. You have become so important to me, I can’t even put words on it.”

Simon didn’t reply, but his shoulders relaxed slightly, and a small smile was tugging at the corner of his lips.

“I’m gonna miss having breakfast with you,” Magnus said softly, nudging his shoulder gently. “There’s no place in New York that can pretend to match your almond croissants.”

“It’s all in the powdered sugar,” Simon admitted, eyes twinkling behind his glasses. “I’m sorry I lashed out on you,” he added with a pout. “I was drunk and sad. These two never work together for me. I’m going to miss you.”

Magnus smiled, lost for words.

“We really do love you, you know,” Simon went on. “In a totally platonic non-Alec way. His feelings for you are on another level.”

“I know,” Magnus said with a chuckle.

“What’s up between you two, by the way?” he asked and he was back to his usual self, brown eyes flickering with curiosity and genuine care.

“We had sex,” Magnus said bluntly.

Simon gasped in shock, the meringue spreading in an inelegant splash on the tray and his eyes widened as he glanced up at Magnus.

“Oh my God,” he breathed out, clearly refraining his desire to shriek. “You did? How was it? Wait, no, why am I asking you this? I don’t want to know. I’m sure it was great. You guys have this weirdly kindred spirits connection. And Alec is a very caring and passionate person so I'm sure he’s a very caring and passionate lover too. Not that I ever thought about it. Who am I kidding? Of course I did. But in a totally non-romantic way.”

“Simon, you're blabbering,” Magnus said before he could go on forever, smirking.

“Yeah but anyway, I'm happy for you,” Simon said. “Please don't tell Alec I said any of this. He would probably murder me, cut me in little pieces and feed me to Buck.”

Magnus laughed, a full, thunderous laugh that burst out of his mouth before he knew what was happening, head throwing back with the sheer force of it.

“So, are you together?” Simon asked, his excitement not diminishing one bit.

“We're friends,” Magnus said with a shrug.

Simon curved an eyebrow. “Friends who sleep together? Magnus, I think I need to teach you a thing or two about the concept of friendship. First rule: if you have sex, it's not friendship.”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “We decided it was better to be friends as long as I haven't made my decision.”

Simon pursed his lips together and pushed the tray of meringues in the oven, including the ruined one, before leaping to sit on the counter, casting an inquisitive look at Magnus.

“Tell me everything.”

And Magnus did without hesitating, the words coming out of his mouth as easily as they had when he had talked to Catarina and Raphael earlier. If Simon saw him steal a freshly baked almond croissant as he talked, he didn't mention it.

.

Clary’s bachelorette party was a bit of a blur. It was on the Friday before the wedding.

Magnus met Maureen, Simon, Maia and Clary at the place she shared with her husband-to-be, just a few houses away from the police station where he had spent his first night in Nashville. He promised himself he wouldn’t do a rematch of that night, but Izzy was spending the night with her brothers and Lydia for Jace’s bachelor party so he was pretty sure she wouldn’t arrest him for drinking too much.

And drink they did. It took Magnus two games of beer pong to feel tipsy - and like a college boy again - and three more of flip cup to be thoroughly drunk.

It took him a drunken Simon warbling _I Want to Break Free_ by Queen at the top of his lungs to realize this was the whole plan for the night. Karaoke, alcohol, and friends. It didn’t seem that bad.

The other bachelor parties he had been to before had always had the mandatory strippers and silly dares. This was different, but somehow much better. It was friends being friends - real ones, his drunken mind noted at some point, not the bullshit kind of friends Alec and him were pretending to be - and acknowledging that it was enough to have a memorable night and celebrate one’s happiness.

Their night would have seemed uneventful to Magnus’ acquaintances in New York. But it meant more to him than he could truly tell.

Perhaps it was because he was drunk, or perhaps it was how amazing these people were and that alcohol had always made him more expressive and tactile than he usually was - which was already above average.

At some point during the night, Clary made a drunken speech, standing up on a stool in the middle of the kitchen and except for Maureen who avoided alcohol ever since the night of their concert in Java Jace when she had ended up very sick, no one seemed to worry about her falling down.

“To getting married!” she exclaimed, raising her glass in the air and spilling half of it on the floor in the process. “I would like to thank my parents, for being so supportive of me all my life and loving Jace as much as I do -”

“You do know you didn’t win an Oscar, right?” Magnus chimed in, voice heavy with sarcasm.

Clary glared at him, stuck out her tongue and cleared her throat, straightening up. “Also, Simon for being the best friend I could ask for.” Simon gasped on the side, a hand plastered over his heart. “I’d like to thank all of my friends for being the most amazing bunch of insane but lovable and caring weirdos one could ask for. And Magnus, for putting up with all of our quirks and organizing this wedding without killing anyone in the process.”

“No one that you know of, biscuit,” Magnus cut in, throwing her a wink. He did have a hard time not murdering the tailor when they tried to make them pay far more than necessary for Jace’s suit, especially when Magnus had to rearrange it himself because it hadn’t been done properly.

“Let’s keep it that way,” Clary replied with a giggle. “We look forward to you joining the family too.”

Magnus frowned in confusion. “Joining the family?” he echoed bemusedly.

“She means when you get married to Alec,” Simon told him helpfully.

“You know,” Clary went on. “When you stop being _friends_.” She put extra emphasis on the word, making air quotes with her hands and rolling her eyes all at the same time.

“We’re friends!” Magnus protested.

The laughter his outburst reaped was frankly offensive.

He turned his glare to Simon. “You told her?”

The baker shook his head firmly. “Nope,” he said, and his brow furrowed in concentration. “I told Isabelle but she already knew because Alec told her and Jace. So Jace probably told Clary, and Isabelle told Lydia for sure so Maia knows. And if Maia knows, Luke probably knows too. There’s no way he didn’t tell Jocelyn.”

“So everyone knows,” Magnus deadpanned.

“Yeah,” Clary said with a nod.

At the same time, Simon answered, “Well, I’m sure not _everyone_ knows. But yeah, a lot of people. Everyone ships you anyway.”

“Oh God,” Magnus sighed, running a hand in his hair. “Don’t tell Alec.”

“Alec probably doesn’t know what shipping means anyway,” Simon slurred with a genuinely confused frown.

Magnus rolled his eyes, helped Clary get down her stool, and that was the end of that.

When they moved to get to Magnus’ house, where they had planned on meeting the rest of the party, it was already late and Maureen, who was thus the only sober one, had to endure a trip of Lady Gaga sung at the top of their lungs. She never complained, and Magnus wondered if her job as a primary school teacher had given her an inexhaustible patience, because the only other explanation he could find was that she wasn’t human. She just looked at Maia next to her and Simon, Magnus and Clary on the backseat with an amused smile on her face and endured their rendition of _Telephone_ \- with mimes and all - despite their horrendous harmonies.

Jace, Alec, Izzy and Lydia were already there, sitting on the back porch, Jimmy Chew, Bark Jacobs and Buck bouncing around them in excitement, the buzz of the night clearly contagious.

Magnus stumbled up the steps and giggled when Simon tripped on his feet and landed on his knees in front of Izzy, who didn't seem surprised in the slightest.

“Babe!” Jace exclaimed when he saw his fiancée, flailing to rise up and join her. “We are getting married in two days! How great is that?”

“So great!” Clary blurted with just as much enthusiasm.

Magnus snorted and unlocked the door to get to the kitchen, motioning for their little group to follow him inside.

He was picking the bottles of alcohol from his fridge when he felt a hand laying between his shoulder blades. He startled but relaxed when he turned around to see Alec standing there.

His hazel eyes were glassy and his smile a bit sloppy and Magnus was sure his expression matched perfectly.

“Hey, friend,” he mumbled.

“Hey yourself,” Magnus said.

“You're like, very pretty,” Alec added, blinking a few times, as if he wasn't quite sure he was seeing right. He reached out to poke Magnus’ cheek. “How are you so pretty?”

“I sold my soul to Satan for eternal beauty.”

Alec rolled his eyes - or tried, but apparently his intoxicated state deprived him of his favorite quirk because it mostly looked like he was staring at the ceiling in despair.

“How was your side of the party?” Magnus asked instead.

“A lot of tequila. And vodka. Maybe some rum too? Yes, definitely rum. I think we broke Jace's dart game and a few glasses but no other incident to account for. None we can be held responsible for anyway. Also, I missed you.”

Magnus bit on his lower lip to hide a grin. “I missed you too, darling.”

“You're really ridiculously pretty,” Alec remarked again, and he sounded mostly annoyed now. “Oh, and Jace tried to steal your dogs but I stopped him. You're welcome. And you, how was your night?”

“I'm pretty sure King Mercury died a second time because of Simon's horrendous rendition of his songs but we had fun,” Magnus said with a grimace. “Apparently, everyone knows about… you know, how we’re _friends_.”

Alec hummed absently, but he didn't seem to be paying much attention to the words coming out of Magnus’ mouth, even though he was staring at it quite adamantly.

“My eyes are up here, Alexander,” Magnus said, smirking.

“They're nice too,” Alec assured him. He blinked and appeared to be refocusing suddenly. “Hey, do you think friends can kiss and stay friends? I'm just asking, you know. Just curious. Yup. Curious.”

It seemed he was mostly debating with himself because all Magnus did was nod eagerly and step closer. Alec looked oddly relieved.

“I'm thirsty!” Jace yelled from the living room.

“So am I!” Magnus yelled back.

Alec giggled and buried his grin in Magnus’ hair. “I think he meant thirsty for alcohol. I'm pretty sure you didn't.”

“I didn't,” Magnus confirmed.

“I know,” Alec replied, nuzzling against his temple. “You make a lot of innuendos. I like them. They're funny.”

Magnus chuckled. “And yet you keep rolling your eyes at me.”

“I'm just playing hard to get,” Alec said and his smirk looked a bit sloppy. “Cause you're gonna leave and all and it sucks.”

Magnus’ smile faltered and he swallowed hard, suddenly feeling much more sober.

“Let's not talk about it tonight,” he whispered. “It's your brother's and Clary's night.”

“Yes, Magnus,” he snarled, much sharper now. “Let's never talk about it, right?”

“Alec,” Magnus sighed.

He didn't reply but raised both his hands in surrender, walking backwards towards the door.

“You're drunk,” Magnus said, reaching out to grab the lapels of his leather jacket and pull him back to him. “We're both drunk. Talking about this now is not going to help.”

Alec pushed his palms against his closed lids and grunted. “You are so fucking pretty,” he hissed. “Why do you have to be so pretty?”

Magnus was starting to think “pretty” wasn't exactly what Alec meant.

“I'm sorry,” he breathed out, air hitching in his throat. “Please don't hate me.”

Alec snorted and moved his palms down to his cheeks to look at him. “Don't be silly,” he mumbled. “I could never hate you.”

“You did when we first met,” Magnus reminded him.

“Hey, you can't blame me, you were insufferable!”

“I was not,” Magnus protested, gasping dramatically.

“Was too!”

“Was not!”

“Was too!”

“Was not,” Magnus gritted out, narrowing his eyes.

Alec grunted in exasperation. “You're such a pain in the ass.”

“I'd love to. Maybe next time we're being _friendly_ ,” Magnus retorted with a smirk.

Alec rolled his eyes - successfully this time.

“I'm too drunk to deal with your innuendos, Bane.”

Magnus’ grip tightened on his lapels.

“Hey!” Jace yelled from the living room again. “Are you banging in there? Does Magnus hide lube and condoms in his kitchen or something?”

“Shut up or I mention what happened in Vegas in my speech on Sunday,” Alec shouted back.

“That was five years ago!” Jace squeaked, Clary and Izzy's laughter resonating over his voice.

“What happened in Vegas?” Magnus asked.

“Don't you dare tell him!” Jace exclaimed, bursting in the kitchen, swinging on his feet a little. “Or I'll make sure to mention what _you_ did in Vegas on your wedding day.”

Alec glared at him but kept his mouth shut.

“What did you do in Vegas?” Magnus inquired, lifting an eyebrow.

“Time to drink,” Alec claimed, far louder than necessary, pushing off Magnus to grab the bottles on the table.

Magnus wasn’t quick enough - he blamed the vodka shots - to catch him before he was out of the kitchen.

“I'll tell you some day,” Jace vowed, his speech somehow slurred. “When you're part of the family for real.” He paused, a shit-eating grin growing on his lips. “Put a ring on it!” he shouted abruptly, making Magnus startle. “Come on, you have to see Simon do the Single Ladies dance.”

“That sounds like something I have to film too.”

“I like the way you think, Mr. Bane,” Jace said with a smirk, wrapping an arm around Magnus' shoulders as he dragged him to the living room.

Magnus chuckled, and followed willingly.

It turned out Simon dancing to Single Ladies was indeed something worth recording. So was everyone's smushed faces when they all fell asleep scattered in Magnus’ living room. But he didn't record the scene, taking a mental photograph instead and smiling as Alec snuggled against him on the couch, burying his face in Magnus’ neck.

He woke up the next morning with Alec lying against him and Jimmy Chew curled up between them, his chin resting on Alec's stomach and Magnus realized he wouldn't mind if every party ended like this one.

.

Oliver's Winery was as gorgeous as Clary had said it was. Even in the wintery cold that had now invaded Indiana, it remained breathtaking. Why Clary and Jace had decided to get married in November, he would never know but as he took a long look at the place, it made sense.

The gardens surrounding the venue extended for what seemed to be miles and miles, only stopped by the wood where still subdued the colors of fall, although it was slowly fading away, naked trees replacing them more and more every day.

The landscape was stunning, but the inside of the venue had nothing to envy to the water features and everlasting vineyards of the outside.

Magnus felt pride flutter in his chest when he walked in, Alec and Isabelle at his side, the dogs waiting for them at the entrance. They had become oddly well-behaved and Magnus suspected Alec was partly responsible for it.

White and beige flowers were scattered across the room, on the walls and on the ceiling, bathing the venue in a mystical atmosphere. It all came to an apogee in the center of the room, the flowers mixing together in an imposing and breathtaking bouquet that overlooked the wooden arch below which Jace and Clary would say their vows a few hours later.

Instead of the usual strict rows, the chairs for the guests surrounded the arch in a perfect circle, as if to make sure the whole attention would be on the bride and the groom.

The dinner room was less floral but just as stunning, and Magnus was sporting such a wide grin as he walked through the different rooms that he was scared his face would end up stuck that way.

Isabelle whistled appreciatively in his back and Magnus turned around in a flourish, clapping his hands enthusiastically.

“Isn't it gorgeous?” he exclaimed cheerfully. “Meliorn did such a great job with the flowers!”

“You did a great job organizing this while putting up with Clary, Jace and Jocelyn,” Isabelle replied with a soft smile, resting a hand on Magnus’ forearm. “It's going to be the best day of their lives.”

“They could be getting married in a barn and it would be anyway,” Magnus chuckled fondly. “They've been waiting for this all year. I only helped them keep their thoughts organized. Plus, it was fun!”

Alec huffed out a laugh, shaking his head fondly and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pressing a kiss to Magnus' temple. “You did great,” he mumbled.

Magnus glanced up at him, their eyes meeting and they shared a look full of -

“Stop eye-fucking each other,” Isabelle chimed in with an exasperated sigh. “You both have to get ready. Then, you -” she pointed a manicured finger at her brother “- have to check on Jace and you -” she turned to Magnus “- should check with Simon that the band is all set up.”

“But -” Alec started.

“No but,” Izzy growled threateningly. “If I catch either of you anywhere near each other before the ceremony, I will cuff you.”

Magnus smirked, and opened his mouth to talk but Isabelle stopped him with one of her terrifying glares.

“To a radiator. On opposite sides of the venue,” she added with a hiss, and Magnus could only pout.  “If I catch you being “friends” in a corner, I will eviscerate you. Now go! We have a wedding to make unforgettable!”

“That seems awfully exaggerated,” Magnus mumbled, but he walked away anyway, not before planting one last kiss on Alec's cheek.

.

Magnus didn’t see Alec until ten minutes before the beginning of the ceremony, and it had nothing to do with him being scared of Isabelle - although he totally was, because he had a modicum of self-preservation and common sense.

When he went to check on Simon, he was panicking, blabbering about ruining his best friends’ wedding and messing up and even Maureen’s reassuring words were unable to calm his pacing. His forehead was starting to damp with sweat and his hands were everywhere as he talked, so fast that Magnus had trouble to even understand him. In the end, he had to smack him behind the head to get him to relax, but that did the trick, the shock temporarily taming his panic, long enough for Magnus to give him the pep talk he needed to hear.

Then, he went to see Clary, who thankfully wasn’t panicking. It gave him the opportunity to change into his suit and do his makeup, all the while listening to Clary talk about how excited she were about spending the rest of her life with Jace, smiling as he buttoned up his black shirt. The golden highlights in his hair matched perfectly with the embroidery of his black jacket, the pattern swirling along the material in elegant but disparate lines.

His release was only temporary, though, because he soon had to greet Elaine who arrived with the wedding cake an hour before the ceremony. It took them forty-five minutes to organize the dining room, then he let Elaine rush to get ready and went back to the main room.

Jace and Alec were already there, standing under the arch. Alec was grabbing Jace’s shoulders in a strong grip, but he was smirking and if Jace seemed nervous, Magnus knew it had nothing to do with having second thoughts.

They both looked stunning, tucked in well-fitted suits, Jace’s one white but adorned with gold that would match Clary’s dress. His hair was neatly combed to the side but the most breathtaking thing about him was definitely his broad grin and his eyes shining with pure and unabashed happiness.

And yet, it was Alec who caught Magnus’ whole attention, not that it was much of a surprise at this point. His heart fluttered in his chest as he walked down the aisle to join them.

Alec was wearing black slacks and a white shirt underneath a black jacket, the golden theme of the wedding brought out by the handkerchief in the front pocket of his vest and the light golden metallic sheens on his boots.

He smiled at Magnus from afar, and kept staring at him until he had joined them on the altar. His hand brushed against Alec’s but he quickly withdrew it, rolling back on his heels.

“You look...” Alec breathed out, but didn’t seem to find the right word, his mouth hanging slightly open.

Magnus beamed at him. “Thank you, my darling. You look absolutely… yourself,” he said with a teasing wink, and Alec scoffed in fond exasperation.

“Are you sure you guys don’t want to take our place?” Jace chimed in mockingly. “I’m sure Luke would marry you two if you ask.”

“Jace,” Alec growled. “I’m sure murdered on your wedding day is not the way you want to leave this world.”

“I don’t know,” Jace said with a pensive look. “Sounds poetic.”

“And lethal,” Alec reminded him.

“Now, darling, no one is killing the groom,” Magnus said, patting his chest in comfort - that was obviously the only reason. “Unless it’s Clary with her breathtaking beauty. That’s allowed.”

Alec smiled, but his face froze a second later, falling into a stern mask. Magnus didn’t have to turn around to know who was certainly approaching. He went to draw back but Alec grabbed his hand in a swift motion and Magnus went still, squeezing his hand for comfort.

“Jace,” Robert said in an impassive tone that was oddly out of place on this day.

Magnus was standing close enough to hear Alec’s breath catch in his throat as his father stopped in front of them. There was a woman following him, and Magnus knew it was Maryse Lightwood immediately, her dark eyes and jet-black hair so similar to Isabelle’s that it left no room for doubt.

“Mom, Dad,” Jace said with a smile that seemed awfully forced.

Alec had told Magnus earlier in the week that his parents would be there, that Jace had invited them out of obligation and he hadn’t fully understood but he hadn’t asked. Alec’s eyes took a haunted gravity whenever he mentioned them, and Magnus couldn’t refrain his eagerness to see it gone. It was worse now, his face pulled into a placid facade, but Magnus knew him too well not to discern the agony underneath.

“Congratulations, son,” Robert said, patting Jace’s shoulder. “Clarissa is a beautiful young lady.”

Magnus had to refrain the urge to snort. Yes. Beautiful. That was all Clary was and surely the only reason why Jace was marrying her. Then again, he shouldn’t be surprised, considering Robert Lightwood’s whole life was based on appearances and the farce of a perfect family he was desperately trying to uphold.

Jace lifted an eyebrow. “Thanks,” he snarled, with as little enthusiasm as humanly possible.

Robert nodded sternly and turned his gaze to Alec, then to their linked hands. Magnus stood taller on his feet, bracing himself for the comment that would come. At his side, Maryse was silent but it was more than that. She looked… bored. Like nothing could touch her anymore, like she couldn't hear what was going on around her. Her face was stone cold, not even a twitch of an eyebrow to betray her true feelings.

She looked like she had given up.

Magnus quickly refocused on Robert, who had stopped staring at their hands to glance at Magnus instead.

“Mr. Bane,” he said in lieu of a greeting. “Alec,” he added, although he didn't bother to look at his son. He walked away without another word, Maryse following him after a moment, her eyes drifting over her sons.

“Well, it could have gone much worse,” Magnus said with a sheepish smile, squeezing Alec's hand.

“That's because he still wants to buy the house from you,” Alec gritted out. “He doesn't want to compromise a worthy deal.”

Magnus snorted. “Well, dear Rob compromised it already by being a homophobic bigot. Too bad he doesn't realize that. Someone who treats their children like he treated you is not going anywhere my mother's house.”

Alec blinked down at him and surged forward but stopped himself at the last moment, inhaling deeply. He closed his eyes, jaw flexing as he clenched his teeth.

“Friends,” Magnus reminded him in a whisper, although he hated himself for it.

“I know,” Alec breathed out. “Sometimes you just make it really hard not to kiss you.”

Magnus smiled softly, biting the inside of his cheek. “Sorry,” he murmured. “I can't help it, I'm irresistible.”

“You're a little shit,” Alec corrected. “Why do I even -”

He cut himself off, his mouth shutting abruptly and Magnus didn't have time to ask because Luke stepped under the arch and cleared his throat.

“We're going to begin soon,” he said and Alec let go of Magnus’ hand to go stand next to his brother.

Magnus found his seat next to Jocelyn, who was already tearing up even though Clary wasn't in the room yet. He hid a smile behind his hand and glanced up at the altar.

.

The ceremony was beautiful and by the time Jace and Clary were pronounced husband and wife by Luke, Magnus was holding Jocelyn by the shoulders as she weeped quietly, and there were tears in his own eyes, but he managed to hide them much better than the bride’s mother.

Cheers and whoops welcomed their first kiss as a married couple and Magnus was smiling so broadly he was afraid he would pull a muscle.

Guests then slowly began to move towards the dining room and Magnus took the opportunity to go and hug the happy couple and then hushed them to join the crowd. The room buzzed with excited chatter and Magnus couldn’t help but to let it grow on him. There was nothing but happiness and joy in the air.

Magnus was sat between Luke and Izzy at the head table. He had argued with Clary and Jace about it, telling them he didn’t understand why he was seated with them when he wasn’t family or a best man, but they had scoffed in indignation and insisted, so he had caved - and quite happily so.

Once all the guests were comfortably seated, Izzy rose to make her bridesmaid speech, which basically consisted in dragging Jace while praising Clary for putting up with him, but it was layered with the love that was so palpable between the Lightwood siblings, and there was no real guile to it.

Then, it was Alec’s turn and Magnus, who had been the first witness to his nervosity at the idea of speaking in public during the past week, smiled at him, trying to convey in a glance all the reassurance he could muster.

Alec’s speech was funny - because apparently Isabelle and him had conspired together to tease Jace. He made sure to mention how beautiful Clary was on that day, and that she even managed to make Jace look more handsome than he truly was.

He talked about Jace and him growing up as polar opposites, fighting a lot and Jace taking advantage of his height until Alec had his growing spur and he was able to enact a well-deserved revenge. He talked about meeting Clary in high school and hating her on sight, and then getting to know her, how inherently kind she was and how he had been able to be himself around her, and that was how she had grown on him, enough that he had soon realized that she was becoming one of his best friends.

He talked about Jace calling him to freak out when he was away for college and Clary had finally agreed to go on a date with him, although reluctantly. He told how it was on the night of the opening of Jace’s bar, when they had end up helping Jace tidying up at the end that he had realized that Clary was going to be there for the long haul, that he would call her family some day.

He talked about how happy she made his brother, and that it was enough for him to know that she deserved him, although Jace certainly didn’t deserve her, which earned him a wave of laughter, the loudest of them all being Jace’s.

He talked about their love, how honored he had been to witness such a devoted and intense relationship blossom and how it inspired him everyday to try to find someone who could fulfill him the way Jace and Clary fulfilled each other. Magnus felt a pang in his heart, but Alec wasn’t looking at him, raising his glass in the direction of the newlyweds instead.

He concluded with a sober “congratulations” and downed his champagne before accepting the embrace Jace and Clary both offered him. He smiled at Magnus when he sat back down, a small, private smile despite the crowded room and air left Magnus’ lungs at once, rushing to his pulsing veins and making his heart rummage in his chest.

It was the first course getting served that pulled him out of his thoughts.

.

It was a weird feeling for Magnus to realize he navigated among people who had been complete strangers to him a few month ago with an ease that he usually only found with the ones he had known for years. He was comfortable amidst this crowd, going from a conversation to another with a characteristic poise he had thought gone.

It was probably because of how easily they opened their arms to him, welcoming him in their small circles, asking for his opinion, sharing their enthusiasm with him without blinking.

It felt strange, and yet completely natural. It felt like he belonged, and it was a feeling he had long forgotten the taste of. It wasn’t unpleasant, though.

He hadn’t seen Alec much during the night, but he quickly came to realize that, like Simon had said, the whole room seemed to think they would make a lovely couple - if they didn’t think they were one already. That was minus Robert, obviously, but who cared about Robert Lightwood’s opinion?

Magnus had elected on ignoring him but because his abysmal luck was following him through and through, karma was against him once more.

He was coming out of the bathroom when he heard two muffled voices coming from the corridor that led to the kitchen. He knew he should have ignored it, but curiosity got the best of him and he was walking towards them before he could stop himself.

He had a hard time hiding his surprise when he stumbled onto Robert and a frowning Meliorn.

He had spent quite some time with Meliorn in the past month, talking flowers arrangements mostly but not exclusively. He was a nice man, passionate by his job and connected with nature in a way that was quite entrancing to witness. He had an eerie, ethereal aura that Magnus could relate to, and all in all, he quite liked the man, despite his quirks.

Meliorn was also openly pansexual, so it came as a surprise to see him anywhere near Robert’s vicinity. It took Magnus a couple of seconds to realize their encounter seemed to be nothing but friendly.

“I’m going to tell him,” Meliorn hissed, his usual calm eyes narrowed in irritation.

“You’ll do no such thing unless you want to end up in jail,” Robert gritted back, pointing a threatening finger at the florist.

“If I’m going down, I’m taking you down with me,” Meliorn retorted through clenched teeth. “And Morgenstern.”

Magnus frowned, his shoulders tensing.

Robert’s hand shot up, gripping Meliorn’s collar abruptly and he slammed him against the wall, dark eyes flashing with wrath.

“You should be careful who you threaten,” he growled, and Magnus had had enough.

“Gentlemen,” he called out and they both startled, drawing back from each other precipitously. “This is a wedding, not a place for you to settle whatever sketchy argument you’re having. This is your son’s wedding, may I add,” he added, throwing a pointed glare to Robert. “If you can’t behave yourself, I suggest you go find somewhere else to spread your venom. I’m sure you can find plenty of innocent people for you to badger with undeserved restraining orders.”

Robert froze, his lips parting in what Magnus supposed was shock. The vein on his forehead started to throb as he clenched his teeth.

“If Morgenstern weren’t so -”

“Interested in buying my house?” Magnus cut in, lifting a defiant eyebrow. “Morgenstern can shove his millions up his ass, Rob. I’m not going to let a bunch of vultures defile what I have left of my mother.”

Robert shook his head, his upper lip twitching up as he snorted with disdain. “Your mother, your mother, your mother… You sure talk a lot about a woman who moved here and didn’t care about you enough to take you with her, then forced you to move in that town you had always hated by guilt-tripping you and completely disregarding your free will.”

Magnus’ breath hitched in his throat and he took a step back, as surely as he would have if Robert had punched him, his fingers trembling with shock.

“What?” Robert snarled, a cruel smirk tugging at his lips. “Have you let yourself be fooled by your new friends telling you how much she cared for you? How much she talked about you? Well, that’s great but where was she? If she cared so much, why did she abandon you? Uh? Yeah, that’s what I thought. You can’t answer that. And here you are, protecting a house that belonged to her but will never truly feel like yours.”

“That’s enough,” Meliorn chimed in quietly but Robert shut him up with a glare.

“You’re holding on to something that never existed,” he went on, turning back to Magnus, who balled his fists to hide how they were shaking uncontrollably. “I suppose my son finds something endearing in that. But truthfully, it’s simply pathetic.”

“Get out,” a cold, scathing voice called out in Magnus’ back.

He startled, digging his nails in his palms to find something else to focus on than the tears gathering in his eyes, and swirled around to face Jace.

His handsome features were pulled in a furious mask, his heterochromatic eyes flickering with anger and his jaw flexing as he clenched his teeth. He took a step closer, tipping his chin up as he laid that same gaze on his father.

“Leave this wedding now,” he hissed, each word ripping out of his mouth like a sharpened knife. “I invited you out of obligation because I still owe you money for the bar, but if you think I’m going to let you insult my friend, and Annie’s memory, on my wedding day, you better think again. Not after all the shit you’ve pulled before. I’ve had enough of your bullshit.”

“Jace -” Robert started sternly.

“Leave,” Jace repeated ruthlessly, and his tone left no room for further argument.

Robert’s face was a mask of hatred and wrath and Magnus wondered how one could live that way, with a heart so full of animosity that it must have been suffocating.

Robert didn’t reply. Instead, he turned to Meliorn and pointed a finger at him. “You better keep your mouth shut.”

And he turned around without another word, the sound of his steps stomping on the wooden floorboards echoing after him.

Jace was in front of Magnus in a second. “You okay?” he asked, concern layering his tone. “I’m so sorry you had to deal with him. I never should have invited him in the first place. I don’t know why I thought he would be decent.”

The self-depreciation of his voice was too much to handle and Magnus’ heart tightened in his chest. “I’m fine,” he replied. It was a lie and he had no doubt that Jace knew it as well as he did, but he didn’t mention it.

“He’s lucky Alec wasn’t the one who overheard him,” Jace said.

“Let’s not tell him,” Magnus breathed out. “He’s been through enough because of your father, he doesn’t need to know that.”

Jace seemed to hesitate but he eventually nodded, wrapping an arm around Magnus’ shoulders. “Come on. Alec has been sulking on his chair for the last thirty minutes. I think he misses you.”

Magnus snorted, unable to keep the smile that graced his features at bay, and let himself be dragged to the dancing room.

And indeed, Alec was sitting on a chair against the wall, his long limbs spread out in front of him, arms crossed over his chest. Jace winked at him and went to steal his wife from Simon’s arms to dance, their smiles the most scintillating thing in the room. Magnus chuckled and walked his way to Alec, dropping on the chair next to him, stretching his legs out to rest them on his lap.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself,” Alec said with a soft smile.

“How long have you been sitting there moping?”

“I’m not moping,” Alec replied, shaking his head. “I was thinking.”

“About what?” Magnus asked, laying his head against the wall but never taking his gaze off Alec’s peaceful eyes.

Alec pointed at Jace and Clary with his chin. “Them. This. What they have,” he said with a shrug.

Magnus didn’t reply, humming pensively, fingers playing absently with the cufflinks on Alec’s shirt. He had discarded the suit jacket and opened the first buttons.

He turned his head to glance at Magnus, hazel eyes finding his own immediately. “Unconditional love,” he said with devastating simplicity. “It seems so easy for them.”

Magnus swallowed past the lump in his throat, forcing himself not to dwell on the meaning hidden beneath Alec’s words. Instead, he shot up to his feet and extended a hand.

“Dance with me,” Magnus demanded, but he knew his tone lacked its usual confidence.

“You know I can't dance,” Alec said. “I told you before.”

“It's a slow dance, Alexander,” Magnus replied pointedly, rolling his eyes for good measure. “You don't really need dancing skills for that.”

Alec scoffed but took the outstretched hand, letting himself be pulled to his feet. Magnus dragged him to the dance floor and swirled around to face him in a graceful flourish. He took a step closer, keeping Alec's hand in one of his and resting the other on his shoulder. Alec seemed to hesitate but he eventually reached out to grasp his waist gently.

Magnus started moving to the slow rhythm and Alec followed, a bit stiffly at first but relaxing more and more with every step.

“There,” Magnus said softly. “You're dancing!”

“ _You're_ dancing,” Alec corrected with a snort. “I'm just following your steps.”

“Shush, you're dancing,” Magnus insisted.

Alec rolled his eyes, but when he glanced down at Magnus again, he was smiling, hazel shining with so much affection that Magnus had to focus his whole attention on breathing properly.

Magnus was struck with a sudden realization. It wasn't in the way Alec was looking at him, because he had noticed it before, and it had brought the proverbial butterflies to his stomach then. He had seen Alec's stunning eyes shine with fondness, had witnessed that very particular smile, impossibly soft at the edge, that he seemed to reserve solely for Magnus.

It was something else, something less obvious to him and yet just as powerful.

Magnus was looking at Alec the exact same way.

And it didn't feel terrifying like it had been before when he had given and given his heart away without bothering to protect it. It felt safe, and unfathomably natural.

It felt normal.

“Shit,” he breathed out.

Alec frowned and he gazed down at Magnus, scanning his features for an answer. Magnus stared right back, lips parted in shock. He blinked, and he knew that Alec could read everything on his face, could surmise the internal turmoil he was going through, but he didn't try to contain it.

“Took you long enough,” Alec whispered, the corner of his lips tipping up.

Magnus didn't reply, shock rendering his tongue numb, but he buried his face in Alec's neck and inhaled deeply, filling his lungs with the scent of his cologne. Alec's thumb stroked his hand as they kept swaying to the music together, alone in the crowded room, in a world of their own.

“I can't ask you to stay,” Alec murmured against his ear, lips brushing on the bridge. “And I won't. But if I listened to myself I would kidnap you and keep you to myself. Maybe tie you up somewhere.”

“Kinky,” Magnus mumbled against his throat, grateful that it allowed him to hide his smile.

“Well, tying you to my bed does sound like a good option,” Alec replied with a chuckle. “In a totally friendly way, of course.”

Magnus huffed out a laugh, letting himself be lulled into peace by Alec’s steady heartbeats echoing in his own ribcage.

“Of course,” he allowed.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Isabelle cut in. She was a few feet away from them, dancing with Luke, who was clearly biting his lip to hold back a laugh. “You’re literally talking about having kinky sex while slow dancing glued to each other. Stop pretending to be friends, you dumbasses. You clearly want to have each other’s babies and get married and adopt a million dogs together.”

Alec froze abruptly, his cheeks flaming as he stared at his sister with blown eyes. He didn’t look too silly, though, because the song came to an end approximately at the same time, so partners started to separate around them to find another one for the next song.

“Izzy!” he scolded her bemusedly.

She shrugged and turned to look at Luke. “Tell them I’m right,” she said, tilting her head towards them.

Luke pulled a face. “Sorry,” he told them with an apologetic grimace that didn’t seem all that sincere.

“Look! They even roll their eyes at the same time!” Isabelle exclaimed, a smirk tugging at her purple-painted lips.

Magnus scoffed in indignation, but it only made her smirk broaden. “Can I borrow your _friend_?” she asked in a sweet voice, glancing at her brother. “I haven’t had a chance to dance with him yet.”

“No,” Alec growled, squinting one eye at her dubiously. “I haven’t seen him all night.”

“Oh, come on, you practically live together! I’m sure Buck calls him Papa in his head!”

Magnus laughed at that, biting his bottom lip to muffle it when Alec’s glare turned to him. He gave him an apologetic smile which probably seemed a bit forced, but Alec simply scoffed, the corner of his lips tipping up.

It was a lovely night, full of laughter, shared anecdotes and newly-made ones. It was a perfect night.

Magnus almost forgot about Robert Lightwood’s words.

.

Alec pulled over next to Magnus’ Volvo and they climbed out of the truck together. Alec had left Buck with Magnus’ dogs when they had left for the wedding so he wouldn’t be alone. It didn’t prevent him from leaping on his owner’s legs as soon as Magnus had opened the front door and switched the light on, barking excitedly at Bark Jacobs and Jimmy Chew who were following him, as if to share some great news with them.

Alec chuckled and petted the dogs jumping between the two of them benevolently, a wide grin on his lips.

It was the middle of the night, but Magnus felt restless. The buzz of the night still running through his veins like adrenaline and watching Alec laugh with the dogs was more than enough to keep him awake.

Magnus stared silently for a while, until Alec eventually glanced up at him and stilled, although his smile didn’t waver.

“What?” he asked, eyes shining under the unique light of the hallway.

“Nothing,” Magnus said with a smile, because he couldn't find the words to express how his skin tickled, his breath caught in his lungs, his heart rushed in his chest.

Alec ruffled Buck's head between his hands one last time and rose to his feet, stepping forward, hands tucked in the pockets of his slacks.

Magnus let him come, arms resting at his sides, rubbing his fingers together to resist the urge to reach out.

“I’ve been thinking,” Alec said slowly, rocking on his heels.

It was a startling sight, his confidence evaporating to leave place to a latent sense of doubt, his lips pursed together as if he wasn’t quite sure he should go on.

“I’ve noticed,” Magnus remarked. “You were quieter than usual tonight.”

“It’s just… Seeing my brother so happy, seeing what Clary and him have together.” He paused and his eyes shifted for a moment before they settled on Magnus, unabashed and utterly impenitent. “I want that too. And I think I want it with you.”

Magnus gasped silently, but couldn’t find the strength to form a proper answer.

“Actually, I’m sure I do,” Alec breathed out, taking a step closer. The bluntness of his words were only matched by the straightforwardness of his gaze. “I don’t want to keep pretending I’m okay with the friends thing. I want more, and I’m willing to fight for it.”

“Does that mean you’ll fight me?” Magnus asked.

Alec’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Why would I fight you?”

“Because I’m the biggest obstacle there is between us.”

“Then I’ll fight you too.”

Magnus’ lips curled at the corner, his heart skipping a beat. “You’re awfully kinky tonight. I’m -”

Alec huffed out an exasperated breath, clearly foreseeing where this was going and grabbed the lapels of Magnus’ coat unceremoniously, swallowing his next words with his lips.

Magnus whimpered in surprise, but it was all he could do before he melted against Alec, circling his waist with his arms and tugging him closer, as close as he could possibly get. Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus’ shoulders, holding him tight, shielding him from the outside world.

It felt like a promise, and if Magnus knew anything about Alec, it was that he wouldn't break his word, no matter that it was unspoken.

The brush of his lips, the caress of his fingers, the tightness of his embrace.

It felt invincible.

When he pulled back, Magnus watched him go, light-headed. Alec didn't entangled their bodies, though. He dropped a kiss on Magnus’ nose instead and smiled a smile that lit up his eyes and was so comforting, so utterly breathtaking that Magnus had to kiss him again.

.

Magnus had had quite a few lovers in his life, had received quite a few kisses. He had come to the conclusion that the quality of an intimate moment didn't depend on the atmosphere, on whether or not you had candles laying around or a romantic setting. It all depended on the person you shared it with, so it came as no surprise that Alec turned out to be the best lover he had ever had. He was also the best person he had ever met.

He was beautiful in passion, his whole body driven with the sole goal of making Magnus fall apart with pleasure. His selfless nature transpired in every motion, in the care he applied to unbuttoning Magnus’ shirt, in the skimming of his long fingers on his spine, in the reverence he employed when his lips wandered on the bare skin of his neck and shoulders.

Even when Magnus was buried deep inside him, his fingers never stopped worshipping him, dancing against his shoulders and arms, resting on his neck to draw him in a kiss that said just as much as the sweet nothings he whispered in Magnus’ ear as he thrusted into him.

“I need you,” he told him in a murmur and Magnus buried his face in his neck, overwhelmed by the passion, the affection he could read in his gaze but didn't dare to consume.

Magnus had never been made love to like he did that night, the experience being repeated enough times that by the time the first morning lights were peeking through the large windows of the guest room, his body was exhausted but his mind fully rested.

He snuggled against Alec, still panting and Alec wrapped his arms around him, his own heavy breathing ghosting against Magnus’ forehead.

“Go to sleep,” he murmured tenderly, lips brushing against Magnus’ hairline. “I'll be there when you wake up.”

But Magnus didn't want to, afraid he would wake up to find Alec was gone, that he had left like people Magnus cared about tended to do. He fought against himself to keep his eyes open, long after Alec’s breathing had gone steady under his ear.

And then, exhaustion came all at once and defeated his doubts, letting him fall in a peaceful slumber.

.

He was woken up what felt to be barely half an hour later by loud noises coming from down the stairs and forced his eyes open, groaning lazily. Alec was still sleeping next to him, his chest rising up and down with his steady breathing, but his nose quickly scrunched up and his striking eyes fluttered open.

He smiled to Magnus, eyes still half closed, and stretched against him. Then, the noise came again and he frowned.

“What’s that?” he asked in a hoarse morning voice that made Magnus’ skin tingle.

“Don’t know,” he replied softly, fingers absently tracing intricate patterns on Alec’s chest. “Probably this house rebelling against my presence here once again. Maybe we’ll go down to find out the floor has now been swallowed by a black hole.”

Alec chuckled, sending a wave of vibrations to Magnus’ ear. “I’ll go check it,” he said. “If you never see me again, it’s because I’ve been swallowed by the black hole.”

“I’d rather swallow you,” Magnus mumbled sleepily, a smirk tugging at his lips despite his lethargic state.

Alec snorted and rolled Magnus on his back to hover above him and bring his mouth down to meet his. It was a lazy but languid kiss, tired but tender and Magnus would have lost himself to Alec’s lips for hours if the noise hadn’t resounded again, and it was now clear it was voices coming from outside.

Alec drew back with a sigh, nuzzling against Magnus’ jaw, dropping small pecks on his neck. “I’ll be right back,” he muttered. “Go back to sleep.”

With one last peck, he was gone, the warmth of his body lingering after him, draping Magnus in a comfortable bliss. He knew he had a stupid, goofy smile on his lips, but he couldn’t bring himself to care and he rolled back on his stomach, burying his head in Alec’s pillow and laying his hands flat on the headboard to stretch the soreness out of his body.

It was a loud bark that pulled him out of his drowsiness and he fluttered his eyes open, his brow furrowing when Alec’s voice rose even above the dogs’ yaps.

He forced himself to roll out of bed and slid in a pair of boxer briefs, grabbing the first thing he laid his hand on to cover himself. It turned out it was Alec’s white shirt from the night before and he felt foolishly content shrugging it on.

He rushed downstairs, following the direction of Alec’s voice. It came from outside, on the front side of the house and Magnus barely paid attention to his dogs bouncing towards him, his eyes riveted on the scene happening before him.

Robert Lightwood was wearing another one of his boring suits and he was standing in the middle of Magnus’ front yard, arguing with his son, who was wearing nothing but his slacks from the night before, hanging low on his hips because his belt had probably been thrown somewhere beneath Magnus’ bed in their eagerness to explore each other’s body one more time.

Next to them stood a quiet Meliorn,  Robert’s hand gripping his arm firmly and his lips parted as if he was trying to get a word in, which was impossible in the current situation.

They hadn’t seen Magnus yet, although he didn’t try to hide himself. He took the opportunity to go back inside and grab his phone on the chest of drawers in the hall, immediately stepping outside again.

“Look at yourself,” Robert spat, lips twitching with disdain, showing Alec’s overall guise with a quick wave of his hand. “You look like a complete mess.”

_Thank you,_ Magnus almost blurted out. _I’ve worked hard and long last night to make your son look like that._

“What are you doing here?” Alec asked through gritted teeth, and his tone and the way he spat out every word suggested it wasn’t the first time.

“It’s none of your business,” Robert replied with an arrogance that was frankly astonishing.

“You’re on a private property,” Alec retorted. “You might be dying for the opportunity to buy it, but it’s not yours and you have no right to be here unless you’ve been invited. Somehow, I have trouble believing Magnus would invite you.”

“I was just trying to stop Meliorn here from trespassing,” Robert said.

Meliorn scoffed in disbelief, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’ve had enough,” he said in a grave voice. “That’s why I came here. I wanted to talk to Magnus. Your father followed me here.”

“What are you talking about?” Alec hissed.

“You keep your mouth shut,” Robert jeered threateningly. “Unless you want to end up in jail.”

Meliorn ignored him completely, turning towards Alec. “Morgenstern and him have been blackmailing me to mess up with the house,” he said, gesturing towards the front door with a flourish of his long fingers. “It started sometime this summer after Magnus told him he was thinking about keeping the house and staying around.”

Magnus froze, and Alec with him, the muscles of his bare back flexing as he did.

Mid-November had brought a chill wind in its wake and Magnus was barely clothed, his legs and upper chest completely exposed to the cold, but it wasn’t why he felt like a sharp, raw breeze had just sent a wave of shivers up and down his whole body.

He felt sick. The idea that Meliorn had been inside his house and had messed up all those things that had slowly driven him away - and, paradoxically, brought Alec and him closer - all because of Robert Lightwood and Sebastian Morgenstern’s greed made his body shiver. It was even worse. Magnus had almost gotten hurt a few times. He could have been severely injured, or worse, if he had been anywhere the garage’s roof when it had collapsed.

To think that someone would want him gone badly enough that they would go to such lengths, it made his stomach lurch. And fall.

He had been lost in thoughts, but he pulled back quickly enough to see Alec launch himself towards his father, fists balled at his side and he knew, without the ounce of a doubt, that one of them was going to end right on Robert’s face. He surged forward, circling Alec’s waist with his arms to draw him backwards.

“Alexander, don’t,” he urged softly.

Robert’s eyes widened. Whether it was in fear or in surprise at the sight of Magnus - and his undressed state - Magnus didn’t know.

“I’ll give you a reason to file a restraining order against me,” Alec growled, trying to squirm his way out of Magnus’ grip, the edginess of his tone matched by the barks of the three dogs around them.

“Meliorn,” Magnus pleaded, casting an imploring look his way and Meliorn nodded, stepping forward to help Magnus hold Alec back. “Alec,” he then called out softly. “Alexander.”

But it all remained vain. Alec’s eyes were riveted on his father, red and blown with anger.

“Darling,” Magnus murmured soothingly, running a hand at the nape of his neck. “Come on, calm down.”

“Do you realize he could have gotten seriously hurt?” Alec yelled to Robert, completely deaf to Magnus’ attempts.

Robert shrugged. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Meliorn is clearly lying to cover his actions.”

“What is wrong with you?” Alec exclaimed in disbelief. “Why would you do that?”

“They want to destroy the house and raze a part of the forest to build a hotel complex by the pond,” Meliorn answered in lieu of Robert. “I saw the plans.”

Magnus froze, turning a bewildered gaze to Robert, although if he was honest with himself, he was only partly surprised. “What happened to ‘merely renovating the house and maybe turn it into a small hotel’?” he asked, lifting a defiant eyebrow.

Robert didn’t reply, pressing his lips together. Alec had finally regained a semblance of composure, his breathing still shallow, but Magnus didn’t let him go yet, fingers still digging at the back of his neck, massaging the tensed muscles.

“I’d like you to leave my property now, Mr. Lightwood,” Magnus said coldly, his jaw flexing with irritation. “You’re not welcome here and you can tell Mr. Morgenstern he isn’t either. I’ll be in touch with you. I believe you owe me money for the damages.”

“I don’t take orders from freaks like you,” Robert spat out, sending him a look of total disdain, and Magnus had to tighten his hold on Alec’s neck to provide him an anchor when he felt his muscles twitch under his touch, undoubtedly in anger. “The fact that you fuck my son doesn’t give you the right.”

“No, but the fact that the ground you’re standing on belongs to me does,” Magnus retorted, impassive. “If I ever  see you anywhere near my house, I will call the police.”

“And tell them what?” Robert said with a scornful laugh. “You can’t prove anything.”

“We have Meliorn’s testimony,” Magnus replied.

Robert chuckled, a cruel spark lighting up his dark eyes. “He’s an addict. No judge would ever take his word against mine.”

“An addict?” Magnus echoed, curving an eyebrow. “What? How would you know?”

“Because that’s what we used to blackmail him,” Robert growled. “He grows pot in his greenhouse.”

“Blackmail him to do what?” Magnus asked with a genuinely confused frown.

“To drive you away from Nashville so you’d sell us the house,” Robert said with a condescending tone. “Did you not listen to a word that has just been said or are you as stupid as  you are immoral?”

Magnus smiled at him, a sweet smile that softened his features and he took a step closer. “I’ve been called many things. Immoral and a freak clearly aren’t the worst. But stupid? Rob, you should know better.”

He patted his shoulder and plucked his phone out of his pocket, clicking on the screen to find the most interesting moment.

“- would you know?” his own voice echoed in the device.

“Because that’s what we used to blackmail him. He grows pot in his greenhouse,” Robert’s voice resounded, deep and unmistakable.

“Should I go on?” Magnus asked innocently, pausing the recording. “Maybe a judge would be more willing to listen to Meliorn once they hear this. Now get out of my property before I call the cops. I think your daughter would gladly throw you in a cell after what you put your family through.”

Robert’s face was a mask of pure fury, his eyes red-rimmed and the vein of his forehead ready to burst, contrasting gravely with his pale skin. He surged forward but was stopped abruptly by Alec’s hand on his collar before he could even reach Magnus.

“Don’t you dare touch him,” he hissed menacingly, his grip tightening on his collar when Robert tried to fight against his hold. “You lay one finger on him and I go to the press to tell them what you did. What you put your family through for the sake of bigotry and hatred. I’m sure your future clients would love to know what kind of person you really are.”

“Son -” Robert started.

“You have no son,” Alec cut in ruthlessly, his tone leaving no room for argument. “You never considered Jace like your son. Max is dead. And you are dead to me. You’ll have to make do with Sebastian. Good luck dodging the knife he will undoubtedly throw in your back.”

He released him, and raised a hand on his side to stop Buck, who had been growling all this time.

“You heard Magnus,” he said slowly, like he was measuring every word. “Get out of here and don’t come back.”

Robert shook his head, lips twitching up with aversion and he casted one last look at Alec, then at Magnus, eyes raking over his naked legs and stopping on his neck where he knew a hickey laid where it met his shoulder, a perfect match to the one Alec displayed on his collarbone. And he turned around finally, stomping on the grass, his shoulders squared and fists balled at his side.

It wasn’t until his flashy car had disappeared around the corner that Magnus allowed himself to release the breath he had been holding. His back collapsed with Alec’s chest as he slouched against him, heaving.

“Okay, my dad abandoned us when I was two and he never tried to find me again but you definitely have the shittiest dad,” he said in disbelief.

Alec wrapped an arm around him, sliding his palm beneath the open collar of his shirt to lay it on his skin, thumb brushing over Magnus’ collarbone.

He dropped a kiss into his hair. “You’re freezing,” he muttered. “Let’s get inside. You,” he added sternly, pointing a finger at Meliorn, “you’re coming with us and explaining everything.”

Meliorn nodded sheepishly, leading the way inside. Alec whistled for the dogs to follow, but stopped Magnus before he could do the same, twirling him around in his arms. Magnus blinked up at him and smiled a small smile.

“Your house isn’t haunted,” Alec whispered, “and it doesn’t hate you. It’s not trying to tell you you’re not welcome here.”

Magnus swallowed hard, shock crossing his features, but he eventually nodded.

“That was all him,” Alec said. “Them. Not only are you welcome here but you are wanted. Do you believe me now?”

Magnus paused, pondering on his words, telling himself he could trust Alec, that he was telling him the truth. His hazel eyes were staring right into his own, straightforward and unwavering, and Magnus was almost overwhelmed.

“I don’t know,” he retorted, his lips curving in the beginning of a smirk. “How wanted am I?” he asked tauntingly.

“Meliorn is literally waiting for us inside and I’m worn out,” Alec said, huffing out a fondly exasperated breath. “Can’t you behave yourself?”

“You’re shirtless,” Magnus said pointedly, and fathomed it was a completely acceptable answer.

Alec chuckled and leaned closer to peck his lips lightly before pulling back, ignoring Magnus’ disapproving moan and grabbing his hand to drag him inside instead.

Meliorn was already waiting in the kitchen, sitting with his legs crossed on the floor, smiling softly at Jimmy Chew who had climbed on his lap to lick his face with enthusiasm.

Magnus went to put the coffee machine on. He was fully awake now, their altercation with Robert having achieved more than caffeine could, but he still needed one (or two, maybe three) to be fully functional in the morning and he had a feeling he was going to need at least that to endure that conversation.

Meliorn waited for the both of them to be seated next to each other at the counter, fuming mugs between their hands before he abandoned JC and rose to his feet, sitting in front of them at the kitchen table.

“Where do I start?” he asked absently, staring at the cactus on the table like it held the answer to his question.

“From the beginning,” Alec offered, more harshly than strictly necessary.

Magnus elbowed him gently, and Alec threw him a glare but didn’t seem unfazed.

Meliorn simply smiled, still focused on Magnus’ cactus.

“Meliorn?” Magnus said. “I know MC Hammer is fascinating and beautiful but could you try to focus?”

“MC Hammer?” Alec echoed, lifting an eyebrow. “You called your cactus MC Hammer?”

“Can’t touch this,” Magnus said in lieu of an explanation, dismissing his disbelieving tone with a flourish.

“Of course,” Alec deadpanned. “I should have guessed that much.”

“You need to fertilize it,” Meliorn chimed in. “Nitrogen and phosphorus.”

“I will,” Magnus assured him with a quick nod. “Now, an explanation, please?”

Meliorn teared his eyes away from the plant, looking up to stare at Magnus and Alec instead. His light brown eyes were oddly calm, but the way he was fidgeting with the sleeve of his leaf-patterned shirt said otherwise.

“I grow marijuana in my greenhouse,” he said eventually. “Robert was right. I don’t sell it, it’s for my personal use. One of my friends dated Sebastian Morgenstern for a while and I think she told him. She didn’t mean any harm, but she told him. Giving leverage to a man like him can only result in bad things.”

He paused, inhaling deeply. “When you moved here around July, Robert heard about the six-months clause your mother had on her will. At first, he thought you’d hate it here, since you had always lived in the city and that’s all you knew. I don’t think he expected the people of this town to fall in love with you like they had with your mother.”

Magnus lowered his gaze, chewing on his bottom lip. He hadn’t expected it either.

“I don’t know what you told him exactly but you said something to him someday, something about changing your mind about this place and not hating it as much as you thought you would,” Meliorn went on with a soft smile. “So it started to be a problem.”

“From what I’ve gathered, Morgenstern and him had been planning to buy the house for a while. They made an offer to Annie but she declined and sent them to hell like only she could do it.” He turned his eyes to Alec for a second. “I think it had something to do with what happened between you and your father. She basically told them to go fuck themselves and learn some decency.”

Alec smiled a small smile, his eyes flashing with fondness and nostalgia all at once.

“Morgenstern is ready to invest a lot of money in that project. He already has a deal with some of his father’s friends in high places. He just needs the perfect place, and yours seems to be it. It’s perfect for tourists between the pond and the forest.”

“So when he realized buying the house from you wouldn’t be that easy, they came to find me. Said they would report me to the police if I didn’t obey them. It started with little things. The fuses box in the basement, the air conditioning, a messed up floorboard…”

“Oh God,” Magnus breathed out, pushing his palms against his eyelids and shaking his head. “The possum. The parasites. The fucking roof!” he finished in a yell. “The weird noises coming from the basement!”

“All me,” Meliorn said, his placid façade finally pulling into an apologetic grimace. “I’m sorry.”

Magnus could feel his hands trembling but he was powerless to stop them. He had held the composure in front of Robert, because he knew better than to do something he could exploit later, but now it was all dawning on him, and it was overwhelming. It was too much.

He forced himself to breathe in deeply, bringing as much air to his lungs as possible, focusing on the action to keep his mind relatively calm. He felt a light touch on his naked legs and looked down to see Alec’s thumb rubbing soothing circles on his skin. He heaved out a shaky sigh, looking to the side at Alec, who offered him a small, private smile, and turned his hand around on his lap in a clear invitation.

Magnus barely hesitated before he laced their fingers together, squeezing tightly.

“I didn’t mind that much when I didn’t know you,” Meliorn went on, and Magnus just realized he had stopped talking to give him the moment he needed. “But then I met you. You know, people have auras. It’s our spiritual signature and yours is very much like your mother’s was. It’s partly black, because of the grief, the pain you’ve been through in your life. Because you feel too heavily. But it’s also so luminous and utterly good and kind, and somehow positive despite all the darkness. It’s unique and rare, and I couldn’t keep doing this. You deserve much better.”

Magnus swallowed hard, focusing on the sensation of Alec’s fingers squeezing his own in comfort.

“I wanted to come clean yesterday at the wedding but Robert stopped me,” Meliorn concluded, pursing his lips together. “So I came here this morning, but he followed me. And you know the rest of the story.”

Magnus nodded, absently patting Bark Jacobs’ head when he came to rest it on his leg.

He had been surrounded by so much good lately, such grandeur of the heart, that he had forgotten about the reality of life, how ruthless people could be to achieve their goals, how they were ready to throw away honor and decency for a bag of money. He had witnessed it so many times in New York. Somehow, the past few months had a foolish thought crawl into his mind and settle there, that he could be sheltered from turpitude.

But turpitude was all around, and it manifested in the most wicked ways.

Magnus needed to get away from it, and he only knew one option to do so.

.

The rest of the day passed slowly. Magnus spent it with Alec sprawled on the couch in the living room, watching movie after movie, their limbs entangled so closely that he could feel the warmth of Alec igniting every spark his body had left to kindle.

It could have been perfect, and it was the closest from it Magnus had ever been, but his mind was a curious place when it was lost in thoughts.

He couldn’t even focus on Jim Carrey bowing to an invisible force on his screen, leaning against Alec instead, staring at the ceiling.

He knew what he was going to do. He knew why he had to do it. But he also knew it would hurt Alec, and it was a perspective that made everything inside him ache in apprehension.

There was no turpitude in Alec. No evil. No wickedness.

And Magnus had never been good to say yes to the things that were good for him.

Raphael had been right - not that he would ever tell him that much - he was scared. He was terrified.

Giving away his heart would be exposing it to further pain and he was already suffocating. Because people left, eventually.

They never stayed long enough to help close the gaping hole in his chest.

.

Being with Alec was an out of this world experience. Magnus couldn't ever remember being with someone who gave back just as much as he received. He had been with men and women who asked for more than he could give and with others who took more than they were willing to share. It was a tricky balance to find, but Alec made it seem easy.

Sometimes, he was coy with his affection, his cheeks flushing when he realized a second too late the sweetness he had displayed. But most of the time, he seemed to do it without a second thought and it was even more endearing.

Magnus felt a bit lost in all those changes. He wasn't one to be scared of demonstrations of affection, but it was unsettling, because he had lacked them for too long to remain accustomed to them.

Alec made it easy, and it only complicated furthermore the choices Magnus had to make. Despite Raphael's warning, he had become a decisive factor of Magnus’ choice, and even more to his daily life.

To think five days had been enough to come to this was a bit overwhelming and, frankly, terrifying.

He had forgotten what it felt like to give his heart away. How it was somehow equally freeing and dooming. How dangerous it was. How easily a heart could be broken if you abandoned all cautiousness - and he was awfully tempted to do so.

It was probably the reason why it took him five days to find the courage to share the conclusion he had drawn with Alec.

“I’m going back to New York,” he told him finally, barely above a whisper.

The evening lights shimmered in the shocked flicker of the hazel eyes, reflecting in them mesmerizingly and yet never rendering them justice.

They were sitting on the porch, huddled together on the steps to witness the first snowflakes falling down the sky and laying on the ground in an immaculate coat. The woollen blanket over their shoulders was a welcome armor against the cold, but Alec’s body against his felt like the most invincible of them all, strong and fiercely protective.

“I’ll come back,” he said in a whisper when Alec didn’t seem to find the ability to answer. “I need a break away from here to figure out what to do. If I stay here, I’m not objective about what I want. You’re here, and I always want to be where you are. But I need to take this decision consciously. Away from Nashville.”

“You mean away from me,” Alec said.

Alec was a man of few words. He chose them carefully, pondered and analyzed them in his head before he talked. He measured his sentences, always wary of their consequences. It wasn’t such a surprise that he would bring the same care to study the words coming out of Magnus’ mouth. His conclusion was wrong, however - or perhaps Magnus was lying to himself.

“That’s not what I meant,” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I like this place. You know I do. But I need to see my friends, to spend some time with them. It was supposed to be just for Thanksgiving, but I got a refund for the ticket back to extend my stay. I’ll come back eventually, no matter what my decision is.”

“I think you already know what your decision is,” Alec replied, shaking his head in defeat. “I think you’ve known from the start. You refuse to admit you could be happy here and I don’t know if it’s pride or, worse, because you can’t bring yourself to allow yourself to be.”

“How do I know I want to _live_ here?” Magnus asked softly. “How do I know this is _my_ home?”

“You just do,” Alec replied in a whisper. “You stop fighting against it so badly. You let go of all the grudges you hold against this place, and against yourself. But I can’t help you do that. You have to do it yourself.”

Magnus bit on his bottom lip, digging his fingers in his palms to stop his fingers from shaking. “I need to go home for a while. I need to see my friends, the places I’m familiar with.”

“You just called it home,” Alec muttered bemusedly. His voice wavered slightly, and Magnus didn’t know if it was in anger or in distress. “I think you know.”

“I'll come back,” Magnus pledged yet again.

“Am I supposed to wait for you?” Alec asked in a whisper.

There was something in his tone that told Magnus he could have requested it, but it was unfair to them both and Alec deserved so much better than someone who wasn't sure.

“No, of course not,” Magnus said, his breathing seemingly stuck on the lump in his throat.

“Do you want me to ask you to stay?” Alec murmured.

Magnus chewed on the sensitive skin on the inside of his cheek and hugged the blanket closer.

“Yes,” he admitted in a small voice, because it was true.

He wanted Alec to make this decision for him, because he had been turning his brain upside down on this dilemma for weeks, but everything always came back to him and only him. It was the argument that made the balance wedge on one side rather than the other one.

But someday, it might stop existing. People left, and as much faith Magnus had in Alec, he wasn't ready to believe he would be the exception to the rule.

“I won't,” Alec said. “You know I won't. I couldn't live with myself if I took that decision from you.”

“I know.”

Alec sighed heavily and pulled back, squatting in front of Magnus to adjust the blanket on his shoulders and cover him entirely. Then, he leaned in and pecked his lips lightly.

When he drew back, he pushed a strand of hair off Magnus’ forehead, eyes full of sadness. “When are you leaving?”

“In two days,” Magnus murmured, holding on to the blanket for dear life.

“How long have you known?”

“A couple of days,” he admitted sheepishly.

Alec closed his eyes, inhaling deeply, and Magnus reached out to cup his face between his hands before he could stop himself, thumbs brushing along his scruffy jaw.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered.

Alec shook his head, leaning into the touch. “Me too,” he said, and he pressed a kiss to Magnus’ palm before rising to his feet, turning on his heels to take the path to his own house, whistling twice to call Buck who burst out of the house a second later and dashed after him.

Magnus watched him go, and groaned out loud, dropping his head on his knees.

Maybe the reason people kept leaving was because he kept pushing them away. Maybe leaving before they could wasn’t the proper answer.

.

Magnus didn't see Alec for two days. He spent them packing or burying himself in work, convincing himself that it wasn't a lame attempt at distracting himself from how he unfathomably missed the warm hazel eyes who made him feel esteemed.

He couldn't bring himself to feel excited about going back to New York, focusing on the fact that he would soon see his friends, the family he had built for himself along the way. He missed them deeply, enough to somehow tame his morbid mood. He needed to see them, and he had to believe it was all that mattered.

He had tried calling and texting Alec but all his efforts had remained without answer. He was leaving today, Alec was already at work and it was too late now.

Simon came to pick him up at noon. Magnus locked the front door, feeling his stomach tighten at the sound of the key turning in the door, seemingly far too definitive.

Jimmy Chew and Bark Jacobs leaped in the back seat easily and then they were driving.

“Thanks for driving me to the airport,” Magnus said lowly, resting his head on the window.

The colors of fall had disappeared now, leaving naked trees in their wake and a bucolic landscape, cold and oddly melancholic. It matched Magnus’ mood perfectly.

“I thought you'd be happier about going back to New York,” Simon commented after a while. He had been uncharacteristically quiet as they left Nashville.

“I'm happy,” Magnus replied. “I miss my friends. I just…” He heaved out a deep sigh, the words stuck in his throat.

“Alec?” Simon asked softly.

Magnus hummed absently. “I just wish I didn't have to put him through this. I didn't want to hurt him.”

“He loves you,” Simon said with devastating simplicity. “He'll forgive you.”

Magnus shook his head firmly. “It's not love.”

“Wha-” Simon started but stopped himself abruptly. “You really are the biggest idiot I've ever met. Of course it's love, you stupid, dumb, idiotic asshole.”

Magnus’ heart clenched in his chest and he bit on his bottom lip, but didn't allow himself to dwell on Simon's words, falling back into silence instead.

“I need to get some gaz,” Simon said and turned right.

That was the end of that.

By the time they got to the airport, Magnus had ruined his nail polish by constantly picking at it and his heart felt heavier than ever.

He let his dogs and his luggage with the flight attendants and walked back to Simon, who was waiting for him on a bench.

“Text me when you know when you're coming back and we'll see who comes to pick you up,” Simon mumbled.

Magnus nodded, and his friend sighed, burying his hands in his pockets.

“Don't be a stranger, okay?” Simon said.

Magnus smiled. “I promise,” he said solemnly, and tugged him into a hug.

Simon hugged him back without much hesitation, patting his back.

“See you soon,” Magnus assured, and turned away to walk towards the gates.

Each step brought him closer to New York, and yet each step seemed like a prolongation of his ordeal, a condemnation to chaos.

He wished it had been easier.

“Magnus!”

His eyes widened in shock and he turned around to see Alec running towards him, navigating his way between the crowd to get to him.

Magnus stepped away from the gate to meet him, his heart racing in his chest. Alec stopped right in front of him, resting his hands on his knees to catch his breath. Magnus wondered how fast he had ran if it made him out of breath when he ran every single morning.

“What are you doing here?” he asked softly, swallowing hard.

“I couldn't let you go without saying goodbye,” Alec heaved out.

He straightened up to face Magnus properly, his breathing still shallow but his eyes focused entirely on him.

“You're an idiot,” he said, and Magnus lifted an eyebrow. He opened his mouth to reply but Alec didn't let him. “Simon texted Luke who texted Jocelyn who texted Clary who texted Jace who texted Izzy who texted Maia who texted Lydia who yelled at me. So I'm here.”

Magnus scoffed fondly, rolling his eyes. “All that just to say I'm an idiot?” he said, lips pulled into a taunting smirk.

It was ridiculous how the mere sight of Alec had managed to lift a weight from his shoulders.

“Well,” Alec said, dragging the word out with an apologetic grimace that was belied by the mischievous flicker in his mesmerizing eyes.

Magnus chuckled and tipped his head to the side to look at him. “I thought you were mad at me.”

Alec shook his head but stopped mid-movement. “Maybe a little,” he admitted. “But I need you to know something.”

He took a step closer, and Magnus held his breath.

“You have people who love you here,” Alec said softly, “who are always going to love you. That includes me.”

He paused, reaching out to take Magnus’ hand. “I love you. I'm _in love_ with you.”

Magnus gasped quietly and his heart leaped in his chest. He knew his fingers would have trembled if Alec hadn't been holding on to them so tightly.

“It seems silly to say it out loud because I've known it for so long,” Alec continued and he sounded so genuine that it brought tears to Magnus' eyes. “But then it occurred to me - and by that, I mean my siblings bullied me into admitting they were right - that maybe you didn't know.”

Magnus chuckled and gave up on trying to stop the tears flooding his eyes.

“I thought it was pretty obvious, but maybe it isn't to you,” Alec murmured, reaching out to wipe away a stray tear with his free hand. “You're so full of doubt, so used to holding these walls around your heart that I realized maybe you doubted that too. So, well… I'm telling you not to. You can doubt many things but don't doubt this: I love you.”

Magnus had always prided himself on his eloquence, but it failed him this time. His mind was screaming the words at him, but he was speechless, his heart hammering in his chest, deafening to his own ears.

It was impossibly frustrating, but he had been told and told again that actions spoke louder than words and it was a perfect opportunity to put it in practice.

He all but jumped at Alec's neck, wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Alec swaggered on his feet with the force of it but quickly found his balance, gripping Magnus’ waist to tug him closer, kissing back with the passion only he was capable of.

They had kissed what seemed to be a thousand times in the past few days but this one felt different. It felt like a goodbye and a beginning all at once, like a promise and a vow.

Magnus would have gladly lived forever into Alec's arms if air wasn't a necessity.

Clearly, basic anatomy didn't want him to be happy because he had to pull back eventually, panting.

Alec's fingers drifted on his face, cupping his cheeks.

“I want to use my third wish,” he murmured solemnly.

Magnus scoffed out a disbelieving laugh. “Aren't you supposed to rub my lamp first?”

Alec rolled his eyes, sending him an unimpressed glare. “Really?”

“You love me,” Magnus said, because he could and because he still had trouble believing it. He poked Alec's chest playfully. “You have to love my innuendos too.”

“I do,” Alec replied bluntly and Magnus sputtered for a second, his mouth dry.

“Ok,” he breathed out, and cleared his throat. “Your wish?”

Alec nodded and glanced down to look straight into Magnus’ eyes. “Whether you choose to move back to New York or to stay here, tell it to my face. Don't send me a lame text or announce it through phone call. I want to see your face when you make your choice.”

Magnus' brow furrowed in confusion. “Why?”

“Because I want to be able to tell if you're sincere about it, to me and to yourself.”

“Ok,” Magnus said with a quick nod.

They both looked up at the screens displaying the different flights when a voice announced the last call for Magnus’ gate.

“I have to go,” he said with a sigh.

“Yeah.”

“I'll see you soon,” Magnus assured, and tilted his head up to kiss him again.

“Soon,” Alec confirmed, leaning his forehead against Magnus’. “Now go before I decide to kidnap you after all.”

Magnus chuckled, pecked his lips one last time and turned on his heels, walking away.

He gave his ticket to the man at the entrance of the gate and turned around as he scanned it. Alec had joined Simon by the benches and Simon was holding his fist up, clearly waiting for Alec to bump it with his, but Alec was just glaring at him. His face broke into an uninhibited grin, though, and he eventually obliged, rolling his eyes.

Magnus snorted, unable to conceal a fond smile, and disappeared through the corridor.

It wasn't until he was sitting in the plane that he realized he had never told Alec he loved him back.

.

“This story is so sappy I might puke.”

Magnus threw a potato chip to Raphael's face, leveling him with a glare. Raphael, who was sitting on the floor of his living room, playing with Bark Jacobs, merely smirked when the dog bent down to engulf the food greedily before Magnus could tell him not to.

“That's because you're dead inside,” Catarina chimed in from where she was sitting at the counter. “It was romantic.”

Magnus sent Raphael a conceited look, sticking his tongue out at him.

“Especially the part where this dumbass forgot to tell the vet he loves him too,” Raphael deadpanned.

“I was overwhelmed!” Magnus protested.

“Sure,” Raphael said dubiously, and dodged to avoid another chip. “If that's what you want to call it.”

“BJ, no!” Magnus called out disapprovingly but it was too late.

“So, what are you gonna do?” Catarina asked.

“Probably something stupid again,” Raphael snarled.

Magnus heaved out a deep sigh. “I hate you so much,” he grumbled, shaking his head in despair, before turning his attention back to Catarina. “I don't know. What do you think I should do?”

“That's for you to decide, babe,” Catarina told him softly. “It's your decision to make.”

“You sound like Alec,” Magnus mumbled. “You seem to forget how bad I am at taking decisions that don't have chaotic consequences.”

“You're too harsh on yourself,” Catarina said. “You need to stop overthinking everything and do what you think is right for you. Stop thinking with your head and listen to your heart.”

Magnus hummed pensively, but didn't reply, running a hand in his hair as he pondered on her words.

“Ugh. Why do you all have to be so sappy?”

Raphael earned himself two glares for his troubles, and he rolled his eyes, seemingly unaffected.

“This is such Disney bullshit,” he added pointedly. “Listen to your heart,” he repeated with a disgusted grimace. “You need to make a list. Pros and cons of living in both cities.”

“This is ridiculous,” Catarina protested.

“Actually…” Magnus said, dragging the word out. “It's not a terrible idea.”

She huffed in annoyance. “I'm not drunk enough for this,” she sighed. “How do I even manage to deal with you both while sober?”

“Your naturally goodhearted nature?” Magnus offered.

“You're a woman,” Raphael proposed instead. “You have a high tolerance for pain.”

“I deserve a fucking medal,” Catarina said.

“Hear, hear,” Magnus exclaimed, and slammed a bottle of tequila on the counter. “Let's get drunk.”

.

Magnus woke up with a raging headache, laying on his couch, arm hanging over the edge and Jimmy Chew nipping playfully at his fingers. He groaned and picked his pup up, settling him on his stomach and ruffling his fur lazily. Jimmy Chew barked happily, licking at his nose.

“Yes, baby,” he grunted, his voice hoarse from the previous night’s abuse. “I love you too.”

The pup whimpered, nuzzling at his chin.

“See? It’s not that hard to say ‘I love you too’ to someone,” Raphael snickered.

Magnus opened his eyes and squinted them to glare at his friend, who was hovering above him with a fuming mug.

“Coffee,” he grumbled pleadingly and Raphael smirked, waiting for Magnus to sit up properly to hand the cup over.

The first sip felt like heaven, the second like hell, and the third finally coarsed away his drowsiness.

“Getting older sucks,” he mumbled. “The hangovers get worse and worse every year. I think I might be dying.”

“Ah, once a drama queen, always a drama queen, I see,” came a heavily-accented voice from the entrance of the kitchen and Magnus perked up immediately.

“Ragnor!” he exclaimed excitedly, before wincing in pain as a particularly violent jab made his head throb. “When did you get here?”

He rose to his feet and grabbed Raphael’s shoulder to keep his balance, before dashing to where Ragnor was standing, Bark Jacobs sitting at his feet.

“About an hour ago,” he said. “Catarina opened the door for me on her way to work.”

“I can’t fathom how she can go to work and take care of people’s lives with what we drunk last night.”

Ragnor shrugged. “It’s a mystery to all of us. It’s good to see you, Magnus. I would give you a hug but you stink.”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “Oh, shut up,” he grumbled, and tugged on his sleeve to tug him into his arms.

Ragnor chuckled against his ear, patting his back lightly. When he pulled back, he held Magnus at arm’s length, his eyes roaming over him, scrutinizing him sharply.

“We need to talk,” he said gravely, and Magnus quirked a brow in inquiry. “After you’ve had a shower and brushed your teeth. We have plenty of time.”

Magnus scoffed in fond exasperation. “I’m going,” he said. “You can go walk the dogs, you old grumpy bugger.”

“I missed you too,” Ragnor said with a wide, mocking grin.

Magnus smiled in spite of himself and walked to the bathroom, a light bounce to his steps.

.

Thanksgiving in the Bane-Fell household had always resumed around a few traditions: a nice turkey that Ragnor always cooked, lots of talking and lots of alcohol. It was one of Magnus’ favorite times of the year because even when he had moved in with Ragnor after his mother had left for Nashville and he had been mostly alone because Ragnor was always travelling around the world for concerts, he had always made it a point to be there for Thanksgiving.

It wasn’t that he cared particularly for the holiday, because he was British and Thanksgiving was irrelevant and non-existent in England, but Ragnor knew it was a holiday Magnus cherished specially.

It wasn’t about the turkey, or the stuffing or even Ragnor’s heavenly roast potatoes. Magnus loved all that stuff, but Thanksgiving was first and foremost the occasion for him to get his made up family of misfits together and show how thankful he was for having them, and for them to have each other. Magnus made no thanks to God, but they always indulged in Raphael’s Catholic upbringing and let him tell the blessings and prayers he wanted to.

Tessa had been a long-time friend of his, and it was only fair for her to bring her boyfriends along. It made for a cheerful dinner, filled with playful but never truly offensive mockeries.

Magnus was just happy sitting around the table, all of them together, celebrating years of friendship and love.

“I think I know what Magnus is thankful for this year,” Catarina called out through a mouthful of turkey, pointing a finger at him.

Magnus lifted an eyebrow, but didn’t have the time to form a question.

“Alec’s dick,” Raphael said.

“Hey!” Magnus protested, before deflating, a mischievous smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Yeah, that’s true. I’m very thankful for his tongue too. He can do magical things with -”

“We’re eating,” Ragnor cut in in an oddly patronizing tone.

“Let’s be real, this is not the most graphic image Magnus has put into our mind during a Thanksgiving dinner,” Tessa chimed in with a chuckle.

“Oh God, don’t remind me,” Will said, visibly suppressing a shudder.

“Are we talking about the Russian model?” Jem asked, curving an eyebrow.

His question was met by a wave of approving groans.

“All I said was that she was flexible,” Magnus said, rolling his eyes. “And she was. Very much so.”

“I will stuff that entire turkey down your throat if you don’t shut up immediately,” Raphael groaned.

“Honey, even I can’t take that much in my mouth,” Magnus retorted tauntingly, and yelped when he received a roast potato to his face in reward.

“Children, enough,” Catarina scolded them, frowning.

Magnus grumbled under his breath. Raphael contented himself with rolling his eyes dramatically.

“I,” Ragnor started in a voice loud enough to cover their bickering, “am thankful for opportunities to start over. And I will be eternally thankful for being lucky enough to have counted Annie among my friends.”

Magnus went still, blinking away his surprise and he glanced to the side at Ragnor, who sent him a warm smile. He took a moment to let it sink in, picking at his napkin.

“I’m thankful for all of you helping me go through these tough times,” Magnus said in a small voice, and relaxed into Raphael’s touch when he reached out to squeeze his shoulder gently. “And I’m thankful for Mom who wasn’t the perfect mother but did the best she could considering I wasn’t the perfect son, and loved me unconditionally.”

He ducked his head, feeling utterly exposed all of a sudden, even in front of people whom  he loved so dearly.

Raphael gripped his shoulder a hint tighter. “To Annie,” he said, raising his glass of red wine to no one in particular.

“To Annie,” their friends echoed, and Magnus felt a surge of warmth burst in his stomach and spreading in his whole body, a small smile gracing his features.

It felt right, finally.

.

Magnus was woken up the next morning by a light shaking of his shoulder. He fluttered his eyes open and closed them again when he saw Ragnor kneeling by the bed, staring at him with a smirk on his face.

“Not a morning person,” he grunted, emphasizing every word. “When will people start respecting that? I hate everything.”

Ragnor chuckled, shaking him again. “Come on, Sleeping Beauty,” he said. “Morning walk in the park. I need to talk to you.”

“I hope you choke on a scone,” Magnus groaned, opening his eyes again.

Jimmy Chew and Bark Jacobs were curled up at his feet, watching him with expectant eyes.

“I’ll tell you one more time: there is more to British desserts than scones, Magnus.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever you say,” he said, grumpily sitting up to pet his dogs’ heads.

“There’s warm coffee waiting for you in the kitchen,” Ragnor said airily, walking out of his bedroom. “I’m nice like that.”

“That’s the least you can do after waking me up at -” he checked his phone on the night table, deflating slightly, “- ten in the morning…”

“Rise and shine, darling!” Ragnor called out, waving at him over his shoulder.

Magnus heaved out a deep sigh, staring at his dogs.

“You know, if you wanted to eat him in his sleep, I’d be okay with that,” he told them softly.

“They love me too much!” Ragnor yelled from the corridor.

“Go away, crumpet-stuffler!” Magnus yelled back.

“You’re unpalatable in the morning, darling!”

“Fuck off, Ragnor!”

The door of his bedroom opened wider and Raphael leaned against the frame, curving an eyebrow. “Why are you two shouting?”

“Tell your husband to stop being an ass,” Magnus growled, rolling out of bed with all the grace of a walrus wearing roller skates.

“We’re not married,” Raphael replied, and turned around.

Magnus darted a look at his dogs, who were still staring at him expectantly.

“Don’t listen to your uncle. They’re totally married.”

.

Magnus stretched on the bench, spreading his long legs in front of him, and huddled his Starbucks cup between his hands. Unlike Nashville at this time of the year, it wasn’t too cold yet and Magnus had enough of a trench coat and a cashmere scarf to keep him warm.

Jimmy Chew and Bark Jacobs were running around happily. Apparently, two days had been enough to make them miss the wild nature of the pond, and they were beyond excited to find greenness again.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Magnus asked Ragnor, who was sitting quietly next to him, sipping on a cup of tea - and, for once, not complaining about how horrendous Americans were at making it.

He didn’t answer, reaching in his inside pocket to produce an envelope and handing it to Magnus without another word. Magnus took it carefully, his eyes roaming over the name and address written on the paper. They were both Ragnor’s, but what made his breathing hitch in his throat was the unmistakable handwriting.

“She sent it to me two weeks before she died,” Ragnor said softly. “Read it, especially the last paragraph.”

Magnus wedged his coffee cup between his legs, careful not to spill it, and opened the envelope with trembling hands, apprehension twisting his stomach.

The _My dearest Ragnor_ that introduced the letter was already shaky, a testimony to how weak she must have been at the time and Magnus closed his eyes and inhaled deeply to gather the courage to read the rest of it.

The first part of her letter was her thanking Ragnor for being her friend all these years, for taking care of Magnus when she had left and for still taking care of them both in his own peculiar ways. She mentioned their meeting. Ragnor had been a debuting conductor at the time and Annie had just begun reaping the benefits of her hard work, selling painting after painting and yet never letting those successes fulfill her like it admittedly should have. She said how easily she had found it to confide in him, to tell her the secrets she hadn’t dared sharing with anyone else, not even “ _her precious muffin_ ”.

_I know this is asking a lot from you_ , the last paragraph read. _I have already asked a lot, more than I was entitled too but I am too weak to do it myself, and you are the only one who knows the truth. I can’t tell it to Magnus now. I know our relationship is damaged, and that it is primarily my fault, because I never found the courage to tell him why I left New York. Because when I moved here to Nashville, I decided to start over and to put behind me everything that reminded me of the past. I didn’t realize I was harming the best thing in my life until it was too late. I should have told him from the start, but I was scared and I’m even more terrified now that I know it might be the last memory he keeps of me if I were to confess the truth now that my hopes for redemption are behind me._

_Please tell him for me. Tell him he did nothing wrong. That he was, and still is, the happiest thing in my life. Tell him he has nothing to apologize for. Tell him I love him more than words can tell._

_I will never be able to thank you enough for what you did for me, and for him._

_With all my love,_

_Annie._

Magnus stared at the lines for a long time, reading them two, three, four times, until the words seemed to be implemented in his mind and he could almost hear his mother’s voice whispering them in his ear.

“What is she talking about?” he asked eventually, folding the letter cautiously and handing it back to Ragnor with trembling fingers.

Ragnor took a deep breath, crossing his legs and his arms before turning his head to look into his eyes.

“What do you remember of your father?”

Magnus frowned. “Nothing,” he said, not bothering to hide the surprise from his tone. “He left when I was two.”

Ragnor hummed, and heaved out a deep sigh. “He didn’t.”

“What?” Magnus exclaimed, blinking in shock.

“Asmodeus didn’t leave you,” Ragnor repeated carefully. “Your mother kicked him out.”

“Why?” he asked bemusedly.

“Because he was violent,” he said, and paused, giving Magnus the time to digest the news. “He used to beat her up but she still loved him, so she endured it for a long time. It’s sad that sometimes we fall in love with the wrong people and let them hurt us in ways we wouldn’t allow anyone else. He got into her mind, let her think she deserved every blow and every broken bone.”

Ragnor sighed, his fingers curling around his cup tightly. “Then she got pregnant with you and he stopped hitting her immediately. For all the pregnancy, he was very caring for her, making sure she was alright, that she had everything she needed and she thought he had genuinely changed for the better. That maybe you would make him a better man. From what she told me, you did at first. The first two years, at least.”

Magnus swallowed hard, rubbing his fingers together. “What happened?”

“Leopards do not change their spots,” Ragnor said softly. “You don’t remember how you got that scar on your forehead, do you?”

Magnus didn’t need further explanation. “Oh,” he breathed out.

“Yeah,” Ragnor nodded. “He found another victim for his outbursts of violence. You. You were two when it happened. He pushed you on the bathtub and you fell on the corner. You passed out, had to get stitches. That’s when she kicked him out. She moved away to Brooklyn and raised you on her own after that. They had never gotten married. That’s why you have her name and not his.”

“Why did she never tell me?” Magnus asked in a small voice, rubbing at the scar on his forehead. It was minuscule, enough so that you could miss it if you didn’t know it was there.

“She was ashamed,” Ragnor said, heaving. “She blamed herself for what happened to you. For not leaving him earlier. For falling for his sweet words every time he came to apologize and promised he wouldn’t do it again.”

“What happened to my father, then?”

“He wasn’t the most… commendable man. He worked in a bank and got caught for laundering. Your mother testified against him and he went to jail. Took fifteen years, but he was going to get parole for good behavior.”

Ragnor cleared his throat, picking at the lid of his cup. “When I met your mother, you were twelve, I was twenty-five and she took care of me, introduced me to people who helped launch my career.  I owed it to her to make sure you were well taken care of. And she was my friend, above all. So when she told me he was going to be released soon and she was scared he would be coming after you but you refused to leave with her, I offered to take you in. He didn’t know me, so he wouldn’t be looking for you at my place.”

“He could still find her, though. So she moved to Nashville. She was truly supposed to go there for just two weeks to visit Jocelyn and Luke, but she fell in love with the place and the people there, which from what I’ve gathered is something you can relate with.” Ragnor threw him a shrewd look that made Magnus duck his head.

“It was the perfect place for her to start over, away from your father, and away from New York which had become more and more suffocating for her throughout the years. I think that might be something you can relate to as well.”

Magnus nodded gingerly, bringing his knees up to his chest to rest his chin on them. “I do,” he confessed in a whisper.

“Your father died of a heart attack when you were nineteen,” Ragnor continued. “A few weeks before you went on that road trip together. Then, she thought it was too late to tell you. That now that he was dead, you would be mad at her for taking away your opportunity of knowing him.”

“Why would I want to meet him?” Magnus blurted out bewilderedly. “He was a sick bastard who beat her and me up. In what world would I be mad at her for keeping me away from someone who was clearly toxic for the both of us?”

Ragnor smiled a small smile. “She used to blame herself for things she wasn’t responsible for, your mother. That’s something she passed on to you, I’m afraid.”

Magnus chewed on his bottom lip, processing everything over and over again until it started to make sense in his mind.

“It takes courage to start over,” Ragnor said. “She did what was best for her and she really hoped you would follow at one point, but she didn’t want to force you. She knew you weren’t happy, though. When she left, you closed yourself off.”

“It’s just…” Magnus started in a whisper, and shook his head slightly, hugging himself closer. “If she had left… If _my mother_ had abandoned me without an explanation like she did, why would anyone else stick around and endure me? People I love always end up leaving.”

“So you do it before they can?” Ragnor replied slyly. “You can’t push everyone away, Magnus. Simply because you don’t know who will leave or stay.”

“What are you saying?” Magnus asked.

“I’m saying I really hope you find the happiness you’ve been pretending to have soon,” he said. “But I think you already have.”

Magnus didn’t reply, letting the words shape in his mind, the thought settling there and building the foundations of something new. An idea of home.

.

When they got back to Magnus’ apartment, it was already past noon and Raphael was standing in the kitchen, chopping off vegetables, Magnus’ apron fastened around his waist. It read “I cracked the Bi-Fi password” in pink, purple and blue letters and Magnus cracked a smile at the sight.

“Found this while I was cleaning up,” Raphael said, gesturing vaguely with the knife at a piece of paper on the kitchen table. “You were really drunk the other night.”

He was smirking, but his mischievous expression softened when Ragnor came to peek over his shoulder at the food, resting a hand between Raphael’s shoulder blades.

Magnus lifted an eyebrow and picked the sheet between his fingers, eyes raking over the words.

“Pros and Cons of living in New York” read the front page, two columns dividing it. The other side had the same thing for Nashville.

Magnus sat down to read, snapping his fingers at Raphael to the side. “Stop feeding my dogs, I can see you. They had their food already.”

Raphael grumbled a few words under his breath but Magnus wasn’t listening to him.

The pros column for New York was pretty simple. Shopping, museums, fashion shows, Raphael - that was clearly _not_ Magnus’ handwriting -, Catarina, Ragnor, Tessa and her boyfriends, the skyline, people don’t give a shit, everything is right in the corner and night clubs. It was a pretty good summary of what Magnus loved about New York.

The cons were more… intriguing: Expensive. People don’t give a shit. No Alec. No Simon. No Jace. No Izzy. No Luke. No Jocelyn. No Clary. No Maia. No Lydia. NO ALEC. The fucking traffic - again, not Magnus’ handwriting -. Why is everyone always running? It smells. No Alec ( _really, Magnus, 3 times?_ ).

Magnus snorted and turned the page to read the rest of it.

Pros of Nashville: ALEC. BJ and JC love it. The pond. Friends. Pretty colors in fall. Alec. Sex with Alec ( _you’re disgusting_ ). No Raphael ( _fuck you_ ). People are nice. Simon’s pastries. Jace’s jokes. Clary’s smile. Luke and Jocelyn being role models. Izzy slays. Maia and Lydia give the best hugs. Alec is in Nashville ( _again, you said it already_ ). Quiet. Peaceful. Love.

But it was the cons that truly caught his attention. If his drunken mind spoke the truth (Luke and Jocelyn were clearly role models and until proven otherwise, Alec was indeed in Nashville), it also highlighted the things he had tried to keep hidden from himself.

A simple line had been enough.

No Mom. Might end up with a broken heart.

His heart tightened in his chest, making his breathing difficult, but he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, focusing on finding some peace in his mind.

Annie was gone. They had lost many years, time that had slipped through their fingers and that they would never get back. There had been too much pain, too many unspoken truths and resentments, misunderstandings and miscommunications.

But there had been happiness too, unconditional love, unwavering trust, and, despite all, a presence that had lingered even when it hadn’t been physical.

It hadn’t been ideal. It hadn’t been perfect. But it had been what they had, with all their faults and it was too late to have regrets.

Annie was gone, and it was time for Magnus to let her go and to listen to what his heart, even intoxicated, seemed to be asking for so adamantly.

The risk was worth it.

Magnus leaped to his feet, making both Raphael and Ragnor startle.

“I’m moving to Nashville,” he blurted out, rushing to grab Raphael’s sleeve. “Like, permanently.”

“Fucking finally!” Raphael exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air.

“You need to drive me to the airport,” Magnus said, tugging on his sleeve eagerly. “Right now.”

“Right now? You haven’t even packed,” Raphael said bemusedly. “You don’t have a ticket!”

“Screw packing!” Magnus all but yelled. “I have plenty of clothes there already. I just need my dogs. And I’ll buy a ticket on my phone from the car. We have to go!”

Raphael’s eyes widened and he blinked, his mouth falling open. “Damn, you’re serious.”

“Of course I am!” Magnus said, dragging him towards the front door, Ragnor following with a chuckle. “I didn’t tell him I loved him back!”

He shoved his friend in the elevator and swirled around to get the dogs, but Ragnor was already there with them, their leashes neatly fastened around their neck, and Magnus’ trench coat hanging from his arm.

“Babies, we’re moving out for good!” Magnus told them.

They barked their approval - or at least, he read it that way and well, he knew his dogs pretty well.

His heart was racing in his chest and he felt like singing, dancing and shouting all at once, but he settled for turning to Raphael with a sheepish smile.

“Can we just make a stop by Cleveland Place?” he asked, fluttering his eyelashes in as innocent of an expression as he could muster.

“Por el amor de Dios,” Raphael sighed, rolling his eyes. “¿Por qué me tiene que caer bien?”

.

“Welcome to Indianapolis, Sir! Enjoy your stay!”

“Oh, I will!” Magnus exclaimed with a wide smile, patting the steward’s shoulder.

He bounced on his feet excitedly as he waited for the flight attendant to bring him back his dogs. It was already night time in Indianapolis, but then again, winter had brought along shorter days and there could have been blizzard outside that Magnus wouldn’t have cared.

He spotted Luke hovering above the crowd as soon as the automatic doors let him through and Magnus replied to his luminous smile by an even wider one and ran to meet him, jumping at his neck to hug him.

Luke startled, visibly surprised, but laughed almost immediately, tugging him in a bone-crushing hug that made Magnus’ feet swipe off the ground.

“I’m moving here!” Magnus blurted out. “Like, for real!”

“I know,” Luke said with a warm chuckle. “You told me about ten times on the phone when you called me to ask me to pick you up.”

“Luke!” Magnus almost yelled, bouncing on his feet and tugging at his sleeve. “I’m moving here! I need to see Alec! I’m so excited!”

Luke burst into laughter, his grin just wide enough to match Magnus’. “Let’s go then,” he said. “Where’s your luggage?”

“No luggage!” Magnus said, rushing towards the parking lot. “Come on!”

“It’s like having a second Simon in front of me,” Luke taunted. “It’s very weird.”

“I need to see Simon too!” Magnus stopped abruptly on his tracks, turning around to face Luke. “Also, I need to tell you I love you and you’re the best and thank you for taking care of me all this time.”

Luke’s features softened, breaking into one of his characteristic soft smile. “Love you too, kiddo and you’re welcome,” he said. “Now let’s go so you can have your grand love declaration moment like in those movies Simon makes us watch.”

.

The trip was normally one hour long but it felt Magnus had been stuck in the passenger seat for two days. He knew he was squirming, but his whole body was still pulsing with the adrenaline that had resulted from his realization, and Luke seemed to find it all very amusing instead of annoying like Raphael had on the way from Brooklyn to the airport so it was alright.

When he finally pulled over in front of Magnus’ house, Magnus shook his head firmly. “No, no, no,” he blurted out. “Alec’s house! Can’t wait!”

“It’s like you’re drunk,” Luke commented with a chuckle, but obliged, taking the path that led to the other side of the pond.

Magnus was out of the door as soon as the car had stopped.

“Thank you so much,” Magnus said, passing his head through the back seat door which he had opened to let Bark Jacobs and Jimmy Chew leap out. He grabbed the box he had left on the parcel shelf. “Thank you,” he said again, and slammed the door shut, all but running to the front door.

He rang the bell twice, and was very proud of himself for having the self-discipline of not keeping his finger on it until Alec came to open the door.

And that he did, Buck rushing out immediately to play with Magnus’ dogs.

“Magnus?” Alec breathed out, eyes blown in shock. His hair was a mess and he was wearing the green sweater Magnus had forced him to purchase once he had managed to drag him to shopping with him. It brought out his eyes, and the air was knocked out of Magnus’ lungs in a second. He clearly hadn’t shaved in a few days and he looked positively sinful. “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be gone for -”

“I love you too!” Magnus exclaimed, and Alec slammed his mouth shut. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you when you did but I was overwhelmed and scared.” He took a deep breath and urged himself to calm down. When he spoke again, it was in a much more measured tone. “I’ve closed myself off for so long it became an instinct. I do it without thinking about it and when I first moved here, it was worse because I had all these conflicting feelings and I didn’t know how to deal with them. But you were here, and you helped me so much and I don’t think I showed you half the gratitude I owe you for that.”

“Magnus -”

“No, no, let me finish,” Magnus said, shaking his head. “I’ve been holding on to my certitudes, to what I believed would make me happy and I didn’t stop to realize how happy I have been here, how much this place helped me put behind all the resentment I had been carrying for so long. I was so lost and you’ve been so utterly patient with me. Well, not at the beginning but that’s because we were both little shits -”

“Mostly you,” Alec cut in with a smirk, arms crossed over his chest.

Magnus threw him a glare. “Mostly _you_ ,” he countered with narrowing eyes. “Anyway, I don’t know when it happened but I fell in love with you somewhere along the way and I only realized that at the wedding and I’m sorry it took me all this time to see what was right in front of me but I love you so much and I definitely want this, if you still want me.”

Alec lifted an eyebrow. “What about New York? Are you going back?”

“No,” Magnus said firmly. “I’m definitely staying, or staying definitely. I’ll do my shopping online, when I manage to have a proper connection. Fuck it.”

Alec scoffed, his stern demeanor cracking slightly.

“Also, I brought you a cheesecake,” Magnus breathed out with a sheepish smile, holding the box in his hands up.

Alec blinked, and reached out to grab the box, staring at it astoundedly.

When he looked up again, Magnus inhaled deeply and opened his mouth to talk again, but always was quicker.

“Screw the cheesecake,” he said, and he threw the box to the side carelessly, reaching out to grab the lapels of Magnus’ trench coat, smashing him against his chest and their mouths together.

Magnus whimpered and wrapped his arms around Alec’s neck, jumping to circle his waist with his legs. Alec made a surprised noise in the back of his throat but quickly caught Magnus’ thighs to balance them both.

“I love you so much,” Magnus panted against his lips, pressing another kiss to his cheek, his nose and his eyelid before capturing his mouth again.

“I love you too,” Alec murmured reverently.

“I love you,” Magnus said again, and again, and again, to the point where Alec had to stop kissing him to laugh against his mouth.

“I love you,” he said in a breath. “I’m so glad I didn’t have to actually kidnap you.”

“You can still tie me up,” Magnus retorted with a smirk, wiggling his eyebrows playfully.

Alec scoffed out a laugh, and turned around to get inside the house, slamming the door shut with his heel and readjusting his hold on Magnus’ thighs.

“The dogs are outside,” Magnus said pointedly.

“They can come in by the back door,” Alec mumbled offhandedly, latching his lips on his neck.

“So can you,” Magnus snickered, and Alec pulled back just so he would see him rolling his eyes.

He didn’t reply, pushing him against the door to his bedroom instead and reaching blindly for the doorknob, opening and shutting it again behind them.

Alec threw him onto the bed and Magnus landed with a surprised yelp, shuffling out of his trench coat as Alec straddled his hips, pressing their mouths together again in a heated kiss that made Magnus’ whole body tremble with desire.

They fell into a natural rhythm, undressing each other slowly, like unwrapping a delicate present you had had for a while but didn’t dare open, taking curious peeks instead. They peeled their clothes off one layer at a time, fingers exploring lines they already knew and yet discovered all over again.

Magnus writhed to settle under Alec’s body, marvelling in the way Alec arched so easily under his touch, how sensitive the patch of skin under his ear was, how those gorgeous lips of his opened to sigh when Magnus let his fingers skim along his spine.

Magnus wanted to melt in Alec’s body, to share everything that made _him_ and tether himself to his warmth.

“You’re beautiful,” he murmured helplessly, almost annoyed, nipping at Alec’s neck when he grinded his hips against his own.

Alec kissed him again, the love they had professed seeping from their lips moving together. His fingers brushed against the hem of Magnus’ underwear and he pushed his hips against to help him get rid of the garment, making quick work of removing Alec’s.

“Fuck,” Alec breathed out when their cocks aligned together again, ripping wanton moans from both of them.

“I know,” Magnus whispered.

Alec nuzzled into Magnus’ collarbone, lips ghosting over his skin, finding a nipple, caressing down his chest and in the curve of his abs, and Magnus was lost to this reality, hands reaching blindly as Alec sucked a small bruise on his thigh, and finally settling in his messy hair.

Magnus gasped at the first tentative touch of Alec’s tongue against his cock, and fully moaned when he took the head into his mouth, his head falling back onto the mattress. Alec’s fingers mapped the skin of Magnus’ hips deftly, steadily, following the pace of his mouth.

“Come here,” Magnus said gravelly after a while, voice hoarse from desire and unabashed wanton whimpers, tugging just slightly enough on Alec’s hair to make him pull back.

He looked like a gorgeous mess, lips shiny and puffy, eyes glassy with love and desperation all at once, hair ruffled from Magnus’ treatment.

“I love you so fucking much,” Magnus murmured.

Saying it was easy now that he had. _Evident_.

And frankly, not scary at all.

“I love you too,” Alec replied, extending a hand to rummage in his night table as he drew him into another ardent kiss.

The tenderness of his lips equaled only the sensual, taunting pleasure Alec’s fingers took in opening him slowly, cautiously. Magnus’ moans were loud, but he couldn’t care less. Around them, there was nothing but brick walls, the edge of the forest and the quiet of the pond. He could let his eagerness transpire shamelessly and gladly drew the same lack of restraint from Alec when his fingers raked on the skin of his back and his mouth teased at the tender skin of his throat.

“I’m ready, I’m ready,” he said.

Alec pulled his fingers out, growling low in his throat when Magnus grabbed a condom to roll it down his length and circled his waist with his legs, hauling him closer.

Alec laughed against his lips, kissing them lightly as he lined himself up. Magnus’ skin was buzzing, his whole body aching from all these overwhelming feelings, familiar and yet utterly new.  

Alec slid in in a deep, smooth thrust that sent him collapsing against Magnus, burying his face in his neck as they moaned together. Magnus rolled his hips up, tugging slightly on Alec’s hair to make him draw back and press their mouth together again as Alec started moving at a slow, sinuous pace. They were more panting into each other’s mouth than kissing at this point, but neither of them seemed to care, lost in passion, moving in slow movements, Alec’s deepening thrusts meeting every roll of Magnus’ hips.

“I’m - I’m close,” Alec said, his breathing coming in warm, sensual waves against Magnus’ mouth.

He nodded. “Me too,” he whispered, whimpering when Alec’s fingers closed around his cock.

It was Alec biting on his shoulder as he came that pushed Magnus over the edge, vision blackening out entirely for a few seconds as his orgasm waved through him, leaving him gasping for air. Alec rolled on his back next to Magnus, staring at the ceiling.

“So much better than cheesecake,” he admitted, a hint astounded, breathing still shallow and laborious.

Magnus laughed heartily, loud and utterly carefree, and held a hand up, nudging Alec’s side playfully. Alec scoffed, but indulged him, slamming his palm against Magnus’ with a careless giggle.

The afterglow would soon wear off and they would feel less giddy, but they wouldn’t be any less in love, and that was all Magnus truly needed to know.

.

Magnus was at peace.

Lulled by the steady rhythm of Alec’s heartbeats against his ear, soothed by his long fingers massaging his skull, twirling in his hair, still wet from shower number two - number one had turned out to be useless - he felt at ease, his heart lighter than he could recall it ever being, and it was liberating.

Alec’s phone beeped loudly, disturbing their quiet haven and Magnus groaned, stopping his exploration of his chest and ribs to rest his chin on his hands above his heart instead, watching as Alec scrunched his nose up as he read the text he had received and quickly typed an answer. He then threw his phone on the free pillow and grinned down at Magnus, hazel eyes twinkling with a pleasant surprise, like he couldn’t quite believe Magnus was laying in bed with him, and that he was going to stay there for as long as physically possible.

Which turned out to be not that long.

“Get dressed,” Alec told him softly, bending to press a fluttering kiss to his forehead. “I have to take you somewhere.”

“Why?” Magnus whined, burying his face in Alec’s chest. “I was so comfortable.”

“Come on,” Alec chuckled fondly. “I promise you’ll like it.”

Magnus sighed heavily, but he felt too happy to make it sound like a true ordeal, and he couldn’t help but smile. He pulled away from Alec’s warm body reluctantly and got dressed quickly, turning around with a wide grin, opening his arms for consideration.

“How do I look?”

Alec snorted, and reached out to take his hand, dragging him out of the bedroom. “You don’t want to know.”

They were stopped on their trail by three oddly judgmental pairs of eyes.

“Get used to it,” Magnus told the dogs. “I'm going to climb that like a tree at every opportunity from now on.”

Alec shook his head fondly and tugged him outside, whistling for the dogs to follow.

Once they were safely in the back seat of his truck, Magnus climbed on the passenger side and turned to Alec.

“Where are we going?” he asked cheerfully.

“It's a surprise,” Alec replied, and threw him a pointed glare when Magnus opened his mouth to complain.

He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, but it still didn't manage to conceal the untamable smile on his face.

The drive was quick and Magnus had no trouble recognizing the road that led to Java Jace. He had been there enough times in his time in Nashville to know it by heart, and he squirmed on his seat when Alec pulled over in front of the building, confirming his doubts.

Magnus leaped off the truck with ethereal grace and waited for Alec to circle the car and let the dogs out. Magnus laced their fingers tightly and they walked inside the bar together.

“Surprise!” a chorus of cheerful voices echoed upon their arrival and Magnus choked on a sob, and then burst into laughter at the sight of the banner hanging above his friends’ heads.

“You do know it's not my birthday, right?” he inquired with a taunting smirk as Jace walked away from their little group to greet him with a hug.

“We didn't have a welcome home banner,” he told him, patting his back lightly. “Just go with it.”

Magnus chuckled, happy tears gathering in his eyes.

His gaze raked over the room, over the happy faces welcoming him with nothing but affection and complete trust, and he sighed in content.

.

“Are you ready?” Magnus asked cautiously.

“Are you?” Alec retorted, lifting a defiant eyebrow.

Magnus chuckled, pushing on his toes to peck his lips lightly, and he turned towards Tessa, winking. “Let’s go then.”

They burst inside without a warning, making the poor secretary jump in fright. They ignored him, though, and Alec strode directly into the corridor, so Magnus and Tessa followed.

“Hey! You can’t go in there,” the secretary called. “He’s busy -”

“He’ll see me, Victor,” Alec replied in a deep, grave voice that Magnus stored in a corner of his mind for further use.

“He’s in a meeting,” Victor tried again.

Magnus rolled his eyes and turned around abruptly. “Look, sweetheart, we’re going in whether you like it or not. I promise we’ll be quick.”

The man sputtered and Magnus winked at him and let himself be tugged away, smirking. Alec had no hesitation when he burst through the door into his father’s office, Magnus and Tessa on his heels.

Robert, who was leaning back in the big leather chair behind his desk, startled. In front of him were sitting Sebastian Morgenstern, and another older man that Magnus assumed was his father.

“What the -” Robert exclaimed.

“Oh, you’re all here,” Magnus cut in with a grin. “That’s great. That way you can all hear this.”

“What are you doing here?” Robert blurted out, shooting up to his feet.

Magnus walked forward to drop the heavy file he had tucked under his arm on the desk. It landed with a loud pang.

“What is this?” Sebastian asked in his dragging voice and unlike Robert, he didn’t seem all that disturbed.

“This is everything Luke and I have against you,” Magnus said with a sweet smile that was all pretence. “The electricity bills, the broken floorboards and roof, the animal invasions. Also, trespassing and vandalism. That’s not mentioning the moral and physical harassment considering I almost got hurt a few times and the attempted physical assault if I had been there when the roof collapsed. We could even stretch it to attempted murder. I think that’s all.”

Alec cleared his throat in his back and Magnus turned around to face him in a flourish, spreading glitter everywhere with wicked pleasure.

“You forgot extortion and blackmailing, babe,” Alec said airily, like he was commenting the weather.

“Right,” Magnus gasped, and whirled back around to face the three men. “Let’s not forget extortion and blackmailing,” he repeated, as if they hadn’t heard them. “How does that sound, gentlemen?”

Robert’s forehead vein truly seemed like it was about to burst. “You can’t prove anything,” he gritted out through clenched teeth.

“I do have that recording of you admitting it,” Magnus retorted, crossing his arms over his chest tauntingly.

“We could easily have it nullified,” Sebastian snarled, leaning back into his chair with all the nonchalance of men who never had had to worry about anything. “You have no proof.”

Magnus’ smirk widened. “Oh, Satan -”

“It’s Sebastian,” he cut in, his eyes darkening.

“Did I ask?” Magnus inquired, curving a taunting eyebrow. “I know the three of you still live in the Middle Age but there is a great thing about the twenty-first century. You don’t need proof to ruin someone’s reputation. Doubt is enough.”

He pointed his thumb over his shoulder in the vicinity of Tessa, and could easily picture her waving with a smirk even though he couldn’t see her. “This is my dear friend Tessa Gray. She works for the New York Times as a reporter and she’d love to write a paper about how a group of rich, powerful, white men tried to bully an Asian-American bisexual man who was still grieving the loss of his mother into selling them his house so they could destroy it, and part of a forest that still remains mostly untouched by man, and build a hotel complex in its place. This would make for a great story. Don’t you think?”

“Just the kind of story that could really make people hate you,” Tessa chimed in, sending them a staged apologetic glance. “You could lose so many clients, or potential new ones.”

“It’s hard work to build a fortune like you did,” Alec said sternly, picking at his nails. “It’s crazy how easily and rapidly it can crumble when you go after the wrong people.”

“What do you want?” Valentine asked in a dark, measured tone.

“One, I want my money back,” Magnus said, holding his index up. “To the last penny. All the money I spent on fixing everything you purposely broke in my house, I want it back. Two, I want you to leave us alone. Us, and everyone we know. You get anywhere near the people I care about in this town, and I just have one phone call to make for Tessa to release the story. That includes Meliorn too.”

“And you,” Alec cut in, taking a step forward to point a finger at his father, “you get off Jace’s back. Cancel his debts and stop spying on him to see if he isn’t making more money than he tells you he is.”

Robert pushed his lips together, but he nodded sternly, burning rage dancing in his eyes.

“Anything else?” Sebastian snarled, a scornful smirk tugging at his lips. “A trip to Paris? Tickets for a Beyoncé concert? A helicopter to do your grocery shopping?”

Magnus tilted his head, looking over his shoulder at Alec, who simply shrugged. “We could use a holiday,” he mused, turning back to face Sebastian. “Thanks for offering, Syphilis. Paris it is. And I’m sure Simon and Isabelle would love those Queen B tickets you mentioned.”

Tessa snorted behind him, and Magnus slid his hands in his pocket, challenging eyes darting over the three quiet men, daring them to argue.

“Fine,” Valentine eventually said, lips pursed together, forehead crinkled in irritation.

“Glad we could come to an agreement,” Magnus said with a wide grin, and spun around to head towards the door.

“Alec,” Robert called out sternly, and they all froze as he rose to his feet. “I’m so disappointed in you.”

Alec threw him a bemused look, an eyebrow curving in inquiry and one of his eyes squinting in a dubious expression. When his father didn’t seem to say anything else, he scoffed out a disbelieving laugh.

“See if I care,” he said coldly and opened the door, gesturing for Magnus and Tessa to get out, before slamming the door behind them.

They waited until they were out of the building to high-five each other.

Magnus leaped on Alec’s back, pressing a kiss to the bridge of his ear.

“I’m very proud of you,” he said softly.

“One of these days, I’m gonna have to have a talk with you about using me as your donkey,” Alec said in lieu of an answer, but he adjusted his hold on his thighs anyway, and Magnus buried his smile in his neck. “I’m very proud of you too,” Alec added lowly.

.

“Are you ready?” Alec asked cautiously, squeezing Magnus’ hand gently.

Magnus took a deep breath, nodding. “Yes.” He reached out, and immediately withdrew his hand. “No. Yes. Yes. Maybe.” He blew out a deep sigh, turning towards his boyfriend. “I don’t know.”

Alec smiled a tender smile. “You can do it,” he assured him. “I know you can, but you don’t have to do it now if you don’t want to.”

Magnus shook his head, heaving. “I can do it,” he said firmly. “It’s just a door.”

“Nothing more than a door,” Alec acquiesced.

Magnus breathed in, and turned the doorknob, pushing the door open. He stepped inside slowly, Alec at his side, their fingers still firmly laced together.

The master bedroom was the largest in the house, a big rose window giving on the pond on one side and on the front garden on the other. It looked like a small cottage, the soft pink cover on the imposing king bed placed in the middle of the room giving it a calm, pure atmosphere that fitted Annie perfectly.

The wall facing the bed was covered with Polaroid photographs and Magnus let his eyes dart over them all, biting on his bottom lip. Annie and Luke, Magnus and his dogs, Jocelyn and Clary, Jace stuffing his mouth with pastries and Simon yelling at him in the background, Alec sitting on the porch, legs sprawled over the railing like it always was, Izzy smiling proudly in her brand new uniform, a nineteen-year-old Magnus on their road trip, Bark Jacobs as a baby, Lydia and Alec with wide grins on their faces posing in front of their veterinary practice, Ragnor in the middle of conducting an orchestra, brow furrowed in concentration, Magnus and Raphael as teenagers.

There were many more, moments of life frozen in time forever.

They were conduits of Annie’s best memories, of important moments that somehow faded with time if you didn’t keep a celluloid proof of their existence.

They were quiet moments of love and shared joy, of happiness, a proof of the uncompromising way Annie had loved the people around her throughout her life, and how she kept accompanying them in spirit even now that she was gone.

They were the physical testimony of her never forgotten presence, even though she was absent from most photographs.

They were beautiful, like she had been.

“Babe,” Alec called out softly and Magnus blinked away from his daze, turning his attention to his boyfriend.

“Mmh?”

Alec beckoned him closer, holding out a hand and Magnus walked to him to see what he was pointing at.

There, on the dusty oak desk, bathed in the afternoon lights of December, laid an envelope, Magnus’ name written in unmistakable lines and elegant loops.

His fingers didn’t tremble when he reached out to pick it up, and he didn’t feel the dawning apprehension he had before. It was anticipation that drove his movements, if nothing else, and acceptance that guided his eyes on the paper.

_My beautiful boy,_

_I love you, and I am so proud of you._

_Thank you._

_Mom._

Magnus looked up with a smile, and tilted his head up to plant a soft kiss on Alec’s lips, sighing in content.

“I love you,” Alec said, pulling back and pressing a kiss against his temple as Magnus circled his waist with his arms, laying his head in his neck.

“I love you too,” he murmured, the words spilling out of his mouth with a familiar and intimate ease.

Magnus had been through many doubts, but there was one thing he knew for sure.

Right there in Alec’s arms, he was where he belonged.

He was home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❤
> 
> You can find a fanart of the cemetery scene over [here](http://mundanelion.tumblr.com/post/153605448248/im-going-to-leave-mom-im-going-back-to-new). Thanks Lion. ❤
> 
> I'm on tumblr [@lecrit](http://lecrit.tumblr.com/) and on twitter [@_L_ecrit](https://twitter.com/_L_ecrit) ❤
> 
> And now for the good news.  
> I'm writing extras. In Alec's POV but not only. The first one is already done and will be posted soon.  
> If there are any scenes you'd like to see rewritten in Alec's POV, let me know in the comments or on tumblr/twitter.
> 
> I am taking a well-deserved break, though, so it might be a while. Be patient.
> 
> I love you all so much. ❤  
> Thank you,  
> Lu.


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